Mark: Ladies & Gentlemen we are live at the Scottrade Center in St. Louis, Missouri and this is Sunday Night Spectacular!!!!
Rhino: There are a lot of exciting matches taking place here tonight. So let’s not waste any time and get right to the action!
Mark: And starting the night off we’ll be seeing the Undertaker take on the X-Core Soldier, Subway.
Announcer: Introducing first…. From Death Valley, California…… THE UNDERTAKER!!!
(The sound of a Harley Davidson echoes around the arena as The Undertaker rides out… He stops for a moment, soaking in the cheers than raising his arm causing the crowd to get louder…. Undertaker than proceeds to drive down the ramp, around the ring and back the bottom of the ramp…. He hops off the Harley and enters the ring, raising both as the crowd continues to cheer for him…. The cowd calms momentarily)
Announcer: And his opponent…….. From Wildwood, NJ…. Weighing 220 pounds… The X-Core Soldier… Subway!!!
(Hits From The Bong begins as Subway enters the arena)
Rhino: The bell has sounded and here we go…
Mark: The two men lock up…. Subway hooks The Undertaker into a headlock…. Undertaker shoves him off… Subway runs to the ropes, Undertaker in behind him… As the X-Core Soldier turns and bounces off the ropes he gets a knee to the stomache!
Rhino: That knocked the wind out of him…. Undertaker grabs Subway’s wrist…. Irish Whip…. Reversed…. Subway with a dropkick, sending Taker to the mat… Subway leaps over and smashes a forearm into Undertaker’s jaw… Subway up and stomps on Taker’s arm.
Mark: Perhaps he is trying to take the arm out so The Undertaker can’t use the chokeslam.
Rhino: Good point! Taker has made it up to his knees…. Hard shot to Subway’s stomache again. Subway is doubled over in pain… Undertaker with a quick throat thrust sending Subway reeling… As Taker gets up Subway runs in… Taker gets a boot up and Subway runs into it face first! Subway may have lost a tooth there!
Mark: Taker getting Subway to his feet…. Subway punches Taker in the mouth… That caught him off guard… Subway with a kick to midsection, immediately followed by an elbow to The Undertaker’s back! Taker drops to one knee than springs back to his feet and leans against the ropes… Subway runs in…. Taker ducks and back body drop’s Subway out to the floor!
Rhino: Subway just barely missed landing on Taker’s bike… Subway, using the barricade, has pulled himself to his feet. He turns around and is face to face with The Undertaker’s bike… He looks at it and smiles a sadistic smile… Leave the Harley alone!
Mark: Subway should be paying attention to Taker as he’s now running across the ring… Taker flies over the top rope and lands a devistating clothesline on Subway!! Both men are down… Ref begins a count…. 1……. 2….. 3….. 4…. Taker’s up….. 5…. He grabs Subway up and tosses him in the ring, holding his head on the apron… Taker up on the apron, drops a leg across Subway’s throat! Subway rolls around in pain… The ref kept on counting and is now at 8….. Taker back in the ring… He goes to get Subway up… Subway rushes him backwards into the turnbuckle…. Subway with rights and lefts… Taker grabs Subway by the throat and throws him into the corner… Taker with rights and lefts now… Taker with an irish whip… Subway slams into the turnbuckle on the far side of the ring.
Rhino: Taker charging in… Subway gets a boot up… Now he’s going for an irish whip… NO! Taker reverses it and again throws Subway to the corner… He rushes in again this time connecting with a splash clothesline combination…. Taker grabbing Subway’s arm and twisting it… He brings Subway slightly out of the corner and hops up to sit on the top turnbuckle… Taker climbing up…
Rhino: Taker with the tight rope walk to the middle of the top rope… Subway jumps up and collides with The Undertaker! Undertaker sent hard to the floor! Subway’s arm snapped off the top rope! The ref checks in on both men before beginning to count out The Undertaker…
Mark: Subway is up stretching his arm, possibly favoring the shoulder…. The ref reaches 5 before Taker rolls into the ring and uses the corner to pull himself up… He turns around just in time to dodge a splash from Subway! Taker grabs Subway and twists his arm again… The same one that snapped off the rope… Subway winces in pain… Taker up on the top rope, again looking to go old school
Rhino: Taker walking the rope… He leaps off… SUBWAY CAUGHT HIM! Spins around… SPINEBUSTER!!! What force behind that spinebuster!
Mark: Both men are down and winded… The ref begins a 5 count… As he reaches 3 Subway staggers up & Undertaker sits up… Subway bounces off the ropes… dropkick! Taker goes down but sits right back up! Subway off the ropes again… Goes for a boot, Taker lays back ducking it. Taker grabs Subway’s feet and takes him down.
Rhino: Both men getting up, focused on one another. The walk toward each other… Subway catches Taker with a surprising roundhouse kick! Subway leaps forward going for a spear… Taker steps out of the way pushes Subway into the ring post. Subway hits it shoulder first!
Mark: That’s the same shoulder he may have been favoring earlier in the match! He turns around and Taker gets him into a powerbomb position… He lifts him up…lifts him higher, looking for The Last Ride… Subway wiggles free… NECKBREAKER! Taker is down! Subway is really holding on to his shoulder now. You know it’s in severe pain!
Rhino: Taker just sat… Subway’s behind him… Runs in, flips over Taker, grabbing his head and snapping it forward! TAKER SITS UP AGAIN!
Mark: Subway storms toward Undertaker… Taker stops him dead in his tracks by grabbing Subway by the throat… Taker stands up… He begins to lift Subway but Subway kicks him in the stomache…Taker’s grip loosens… Subway shoves Taker’s arm off his throat… Taker nails Subway with an uppercut! Subway in the corner. Taker again laying in with rights and lefts. And for a third time he is attempting to go Old School! Walking along the rope… Up in the air… CONNECTS!
Rhino: Third times a charm!
Mark: Taker grabs Subway by the throat and forces his him to his feet! … Subway grabs Taker by the throat… Taker’s eyes widen with an evil stare into Subway’s eyes…. Taker grabs Subway’s arm… HELLS GATE!!!
Rhino: Center of the ring! Subway has nowhere to go! And that’s the same arm that has taken a beating already tonight! Taker applying more and more pressure! SUBWAY TAPS! SUBWAY TAPS!!!
Announcer: Here Is Your Winner… THE UNDERTAKER!!!
Mark: That was a great way to start off the night.
Rhino: Really got the blood pumping. Now Mark, as we look forward to the next match, I think it is important to remember that Rmapage and Triple H have had a bit of a storied history with one and another.
Mark: I’ve got to agree with you on that one Rhino, and tonight we get to see if Troy Joseph can pull himself back up and get it done. Perhaps this just might be the year of the Rampage.
TROY “THE RAMPAGE” JOSEPH vrs TRIPLE H
Pa Announcer: The next contest is set for one fall… Introducing first…From Shangra-la… Weighing in at 252 Pounds…TROY “THE RAMPAGE” JOSEPH!
(“Hall of Illusion” plays as Troy Joseph enters the arena…)
PA Announcer: And their opponent.. From Greenwich, Connecticut.. Weighing in at 255 pounds.. He is THE GAME.. TRIPLE H!
(“Absolute Power” hits over the PA System as Omega makes his way down..)
Mark: Triple H wasting no time at all, just going full force.
Rhino: Troy has been backed up into the corner and is trying as he might to cover up form the blows that he’s getting.
Mark: You can hear Triple H from over here taunting him, demanding to see the Rampage unleashed. Rampage runs… Triple H with a big body slam. Hunter with the boots now. Triple H picking Rmapage up iand whips him into the ropes, big jumping knee to the face.
Rhino: Rampage still unable to get out of the blocks in the opening moments of this match.
Mark: Triple H waiting for Rampage to get up, whipped into the ropes again, looking for a spinbuster, no Rampage caught himself on the ropes.
Rhino: He’s seen this act one too many times, Rampage running in with a headful of steam…
Mark: Rampage looking to go for the Ruffle, no Triple H counters, big Double A spinebuster.
Rhino: You’ve got to be thinking that Rampage knew he had to do something to end this as soon as possible.
Mark: Triple H pulling Rampage into position, Pedigree. The referee is there to make the count… 1…… 2……. 3…….
Announcer: Here Is Your Winner… TRIPLE H!
Mark: You’ve got to think that after a match like that Triple H is thinking positively.
Rhino: That boost could be what helps take him to a May-Hem Rumble win or not.
Mark: Speaking of the Rumble, we are going to send it to the back with Kent Richardson.. Kent…
Kent: Thanks guys, I’m back here trying to get a word in…
Jobber: Hey.. you… what the hell is that?
Worker: A replica of your belt sir, for the big ladder match, you know Pyro’s big belt and breifcase idea…
Jobber: No. I said no before. I said yes to a ladder match. I said yes to a breifcase, but this idea.. no no no no no. Kent.. is there something you wanted?
Kent: Well with the big Demon Child PyroManiAxe match coming up I was wondering how that…
Jobber: And where the hell have you been this week?
(William McConnell swaggers onto scene, a chorus of boos are heard in the arena)
McConnell: I late, sue me, I mean it’s not like the show started on time, great time keeping there jew boy.
Jobber: Kent, your big question of what happens with Demon or Pyro choose Will, where does that leave me.. in the Rumble… to win that bitch again.
McConnell: Oh fuck that idea. You do realize that the ENTIRE company doesn’t just revolve around you Mister Total Impact World Champion. What is the Bowl and one of your instant shots not enough?
Jobber: Doesn’t matter, I want the Rumble now too…
McConnell: Time to come back to reality Jobber, the world champion can’t be in the Rumble, everyone knows that.
Jobber: I see to remember that very thing happening last year… who was it that broke that wall down, created precedent?
McConnell: It won’t happen.
Jobber: You can’t stop me Will. You’ve pissed them off, don’t you realize that, they will pick you, and when they do, you won’t be around to stop me.
McConnell: It’s sad though isn’t it? Even without my so called soap box, that’s what you called it, without that championship, people will want me over you. What does that make you Jobber, nothing but an empty champion.
Jobber: That’s not…
McConnell: No, see in their hearts Jobber, it’s true. Trust me.
Jobber: How about instead of jaw jacking with me, you do something you haven’t done all week and just get ready for your match Will. And watch your back, I wouldn’t want you to get on the wrong side of any of our… guests tonight?
(Camera pans around as we see none other than the Rated R Superstar Edge standing there smiling)
Mark: What do you think that Jobber meant by guests?
Rhino: I guess we will find out, but first, Big Daddy Ace is set to take on Kronik. Lets get down to the ring.
BIG DADDY ACE vrs KRONIK
Pa Announcer: The following contest is set for one fall, introducing first, from Boston, Mass.. Weighing in at 273 Pounds…One half of the EWA Tag Team Champions…BIG DADDY ACE!
(“Made of Scars” plays as Big Daddy Ace enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer: And his opponent… From Springfield, Ma… Weighing in at 210 Pounds… KRONIK!
(“Pushin’ Limits” plays as Kronik enters the arena…)
Mark: Kronik has been looking forward to this match for some time now, they tie up.. Ace powers him away…
(“Meet Your Master” by Nine Inch Nails starts playing…)
Rhino: What is the meaning of this?
Mark: Look up at the ramp, it’s none other than Mondo the Masterful, what the hell is he doing here, we haven’t seen him since…
Rhino: Last years May-Hem Rumble, it can’t be a coinidence. It looks like Mondo is being joined by a few other men, I’m being told from the back that the two men who just joined Mondo are none other than Alex Bankmanship and the Encore Superstar.
Mark: Kronik and Ace just telling the three men to come get them some and it looks like we are going to have a little brawl here and now.
Rhino: Kronik needs to watch out, Edge has just jumped the security barrier and slide into the ring. Edge turns him around, Edgecution onto Kronik.
Mark: Ace heard it… Edge back up.. Edge down..
Rhino: Big Daddy Ace giving Edge a welcome to the EWA with a big Boston Badass Spear.
Mark: That may be so but it’s given Mondo and the others a chance to enter the ring, and they are doing what they can to swarm in on Ace.
Rhino: There isn’t anything pretty about what is going on here, these three men are hoping to create a moment going into the Rumble by taking out the former World Champion…
Mark: Not just that, but the first man to win two May-Hem Rumbles. I’m sure this is what Jobber was talking about.
Rhino: The three men getting on Ace… The Encore Superstar just pushed Bankmanship over to the rope, no honor among thieves, Mondo the Masterful pushed Encore over as well.
Mark: Mondo better turn around… no Ace with a kick to the gut, throws him up onto the shoulders, owww, modified Ace Crusher spinning the Masterful One outside.
Rhino: Kronik getting back to his feet.. Ace didn’t see it coming, Kronik Kick sending Ace over the top rope.
Mark: This wasn’t how Kronik envisioned this night going, but he’s going to have to take it at least until the next time these two meet. For now though, we’ve got to move onto our next match up of the evening.
AUSTIN ARIES vrs WILLIAM MCCONNELL
Pa Announcer: The following contest is set for one fall, introducing first, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin… Weighing in at 202 Pounds… AUSTIN ARIES!
(Austin Aries’ theme plays as he enters the arena)
Pa Annoucner: His opponent… From Evansville, Indiana.. Weighing in at 230 pounds.. WILLIAM.. MCCONNELL!
(“Giving In” hits over the PA system as William McConnell makes his way to the ring..)
Mark: William McConnell taking a detour getting to the ring…
Rhino: A detour that has he grabbing a chair. We’ve seen this before, McConnell isn’t here for the wins but for the soul purpose of hurting people.
Mark: As he enters the ring, Austin Aries giving the longest reigning champion of all time a wide birth, the referee though telling him that he has to get rid of the chair.
Rhino: He’s either really brave, really stupid, or just plain ignorant with what McConnell can do with a simple piece of steel.
Mark: The referee trying to take the chair away, a game of tug of war, ouch, McConnell just kicked the referee in the groin, and now strikes him dead center in the head with that chair.
Rhino: Aries clearly doesn’t want anything to do with McConnell tonight, and it looks like Will knows that with that smirk….
(“Shut Your Mouth” hits as Lone Jobber come out onto the stage)
Jobber: What, no… no you get back in that ring Will. This shit, it doesn’t fly, you and your little trying to force dq’s. Nah dawg. Come on, lets get another referee down to the ring, hell lets get a few of you zebras down there. You’re signed to this company, you will compete, don’t make me force the issue.
Mark: It looks like Will would like nothing more than to get his hands on Jobber, but from behind Austin Aries clocks McConnell. He’s knocked the chair out of McConnell’s hands and it looks like this match just might start.
Rhino: McConnell clears the cob webs, irish whips Austin Aries into the corner… and he just closelined a referee.
Mark: Another rolling in to take his place. McConnell looking up at the ramp asking Jobber if he was serious, getting nothing but a smile and a thumbs up. McConnell running inelbow to Austin Aries. Will climbing up and starts laying in the punches…. 4…. 5…. 6…. 7…. 8… 9…. giving Jobber a look… 10… it looks like he’s taunting the referee… who just pulled him down…
Rhino: And got a right first for his efforts. Another referee taking his place…
(“Absolute Power” hits over the pa system)
Mark: Oh shit, this just picked up. Here goes the big man, Omega.
Rhino: Jobber just throwing his hands up in the air, doesn’t look like he’s going to try and stop any of this.
Mark: Everyone is looking to show everyone else that they are top dog as the Rumble nears. Omega entering the ring, McConnell whpping Aries toward him, big boot. McConnell coming in, Omega has his face stuck in his palm, walking him over to the ropes, tosses McConnell over the top rope one handed.
Jobber: Excuse me.. don’t worry big man, I’ve got my eye on you, you did just personally end this match. We’ve already got enough referees down there and all… so… your match starts NOW!
OMEGA vrs RANDY ORTON vrs $TEWIE FRANCHIZE vrs CATINA LOGAN
Pa Announcer: The following match up is a four man over the top rope battle royale. Already in the ring, from Washington DC .. weighing in at 444 pounds… OMEGA… his opponent, from St. Louis, Missouri, weighng in at 245 pounds… RANDY ORTON!
(Orton’s theme hits as he enters the arena)
Pa Announcer: Their opponent, from Manhattan, New York… Weighing in at 242 Pounds… $TEWIE FRANCHIZE!
(“Power” plays as $tewie Franchize makes his way down to the ring…)
Pa Announcer: Their opponent, from Atlanta, Georgia weighing in at 135 pounds, CATINA LOGAN!
(“Fire” by Lacuna Coil hits as Catina Logan enters the arena)
This Battle Royale should be interesting! Franchize, Orton and Catina all take aim at Omega… He welcomes the three on one attack… Franchize runs right into a closed fist and falls backwards… Omega shoves Catina hard! Orton out of nowhere hits an RKO! Catina is down! … Franchize quickly on the attack from behind Orton! Omega striding over to the two of them, and he tosses both Orton and Franchize with ease, into opposite corners! Omega picking Catina up… He
throws her into Franchize! As she bounces off Franchize falls… Omega tosses Catina the other way into the Viper’s corner… Catina turning it into a flying elbow smash! Orton down to one knee… Catina wraps her legs around his neck, head scissors sends Orton to his back!
Rhino: Meanwhile Omega has been manhandling Franchize… Omega has him in the corner just slapping his chest hard! Catina runs in from behind with a dropkick, Omega side steps and the dropkick connects with Franchize! As Catina gets up, Omega shoves her over the top rope and she lands on the apron… Omega coming over to knock her off the apron… Logan holding onto Omega for dear life to Omega’s arm. Orton’s up and drives a knee into Omega’s back! Now Omega is on the apron…. Franchize out of the corner and comes running out…. Orton with a strong power slam!
Mark: Catina Logan now realizing that she’s stuck on the ring apron with Omega, trying to fight him off. Catina with a few quick kicks to the legs of Omega and now doing the smartest move possible, running away.
Rhino: Orton laying in a load of kicks into Franchize, out of the corner of his eye spotting Logan trying to enter the ring, kicking the rope, it looks like he’s setting her up for his second rope ddt.
Mark: And he does just that. Entering back into the ring though is Omega, and he is going right after Franchize. He forcibly helps Franchize to his feet, pushes him into ropes, huge right hand, from behind though Randy Orton with a chop block trying to take the big man down to his knee. Another chop block and the big man has taken the knee, Orton trying to lay in the punches..
Rhino: Omega pushes him away but here comes Catina with a big dropkick. Omega trying to get back up to his feet, Orton comes in, Omega grabs him, lifiting him high into the air with a military press. He tosses Orton onto Catina.
Mark: The big man has certainly made a target for himself as he comes Franchize.. Omega grabbing him by the head and sends him over the top rope…
Pa Announcer: $tewie Franchize has been eliminated.
Rhino: Franchize doesn’t seem to like the looks of that one, he’s got ahold of Omega’s leg.
Mark: Omega trying to kick himself free, here comes Catina and Orton, double closeline, no caught, Omega looking for a double chokeslam, Orton with a thumb to the eye, Orton with an uppercut.
Rhino: The referees have forced Franchize from ring side as Catina has climbed the top rope… riskiy move..
Mark: Logan with a flying head scissors onto Omega trying to get him out of the ring.
Rhino:Catina grabbing the ring for her life, Omega trapped in her legs bend over the ropes… And Orton lifting his legs… Omega tumbles out of the ring.
Pa Announcer: Omega has been elimated.
Mark: It’s come down to two, but Catina needs to get back into the ring.
Rhino: Orton and Logan trading punches, Catina grabs his head, drops it across the ropes.
Mark: Orton stumbling back, Logan looking to fly again, springboard crossbody… no Orton with a big powerslam. Orton slithering backwards…. looks like he’s getting ready for it.. Catina back to her feet… Orton runs in.. RKO… no pushed away. Catina looking for the Stun Gun, going it it, no reversed.. Orton out of no where, RKO…
Rhino: That’s good and all and in any other match that would end it, but this is a battle royale.
Mark: Orton getting Logan to her feet and runs her into the ropes, up and over, no it looks like she is trying to skin the cat.
Rhino: Orton doesn’t see it.. he does now, running knee sending Catina to the floor.
Pa Announcer: The winner of this contest.. RANDY ORTON!
Mark: Orton now gets to look forward to a big morale advantage going into the May-Hem Rumble.
Rhino: Speaking of the May-Hem Rumble, our next match has a man who has actually gone the distance and won not only one, but two of them.
Mark: Sounds like it’s time for our Total Impact Championship match…
TOTAL IMPACT CHAMPIONSHIP
LONE JOBBER © vrs CALVIN LUMAS
Announcer: Ladies And Gentlemen…. This next contest is for Total Impact Champion… Introducing first, being accompanied by Alexis Laree…. From Raleigh, North Carolina… Weighing in at 215 Pounds… CALVIN LUMAS!
(“Ultranumb” plays as Calvin Lumas enters the arena…)
Announcer: And His Opponent…. From The EWA Head Office in Atlanta by way of the Slaughterhouse… He is the current EWA World Heavyweight Champion And The Defending
Total Impact Champion… LONE JOBBER!
( “Shut Your Mouth” plays as Lone Jobber enters the arena)
Mark: Calvin runs at Jobber and just bounces off of him, falling back… Jobber just smirked at him! Calvin attempts to get up but Jobber steps on his leg. Now he steps up on Calvin’s leg and stomps on his knee! Calvin yells in pain! Jobber now with several kicks to the back of Lumas! Alexis looking away, not wanting to see her man in pain.
Rhino: Jobber, getting cocky, is now yelling at Alexis not to look away… Alexis turns back to him… She just told him he shouldn’t look away… Jobber turns back and gets kicked in the legs… Jobber attempts to block a kick but Calvin tricked him and dropkicks Jobber in the face! Jobber goes down. Lumas stays on the attack with elbows and punches… Jobber shoves Lumas back… He stumbles and falls… Jobber getting to his… Lumas does as well… Lumas runs at Jobber and catches a back elbow in the face! That dazed him!
Mark: Calvin shakes it off and runs at Jobber again… Jobber swings a fist… Lumas ducks and runs up the corner… Whisper in the wind… NO! Jobber caught him! POWERBOMB!!! Damn, what force behind that powerbomb right there! That seems to have taken a toll on both men… Jobber begins to get up first, and on his own. Lumas starts using the ropes to pull himself up… Lumas turns around and gets belly to belly suplexed across the ring!
Rhino: Jobber now climbing the ropes… He is going for a flying leg drop…. LUMAS MOVED! Jobber crashed and burned right there! Before Jobber even has a chance to react Lumas connects with a rolling thunder! Alexis cheers for Lumas… Lumas goes over and gets a kiss… Jobber uses that as an opportunity and runs up and nails a backsuplex!
Mark: Both men quickly to their feet… Lumas goes for a dropkick, Jobber shoves Calvin’s legs away and he bounces off the mat! Jobber pulls Calvin up…. GIMMICK!!! Referee checking in on Lumas, he says that he can continue. Jobber pulling Lumas up, Calvin with a kick to the gut! TWIST OF FATE! NO! Jobber squirms free and hooks Calvin up…. Jobber has Calvin in the air….. HERIT-NO! Lumas squirms free! Reverse Twist Of Fate!
Rhino: Calvin climbing the ropes… As he reaches the top h’s pandering the crowd…
Mark: He looks back into the ring and sees that Jobber is now getting up slowly, on wobbly legs… Lumas leaps at Jobber… LOW CARD KICK!!! He hit that outta nowhere! Jobber rolling away as the referee goes to check in on Lumas. Jobber up and is told that he can still go.
Rhino: Lumas showing the heart of a champion, not saying down.
Mark: Jobber can’t believe it! Jobber grabs Lumas as he gets up, irish whip….. Sidewalk Slam! But Lumas held on to Jobber’s arm and has it locked up… Jobber showing his strength, picks Lumas up high… Lumas showing his agility and sunset flips over Jobber…. Lumas able to lock in Jobber’s leg, wrenching on it with all his might….. Jobber kicks Calvin in the face! That broke the submission… Lumas doesn’t get discouraged as he is stays on the attack, not allowing Jobber to get up! Jobber trying to fight to get to his feet… He’s up to his knees… Calvin with a DDT! Jobber’s face just smashes off the mat! Jobber getting to his feet… He stumbles back to the ropes… Calvin clotheslines him out of the ring!
Rhino: Lumas again climbs the ropes… As Jobber gets to his feet, Calvin flies, as he loves to do, and connects with a flying forearm! Lumas now looking under the ring… With this being a Total Impact Title match there are no DQ’s. He pulls out a 2×4! Jobber is up… He comes toward Lumas… Lumas smacks Jobber in the ribs with the 2×4! Now he hits him in the head with the board than tosses it in the ring… Now Calvin pushes Jobber in the ring… He’s going up… Lumas leaps for a splash… Jobber with the 2×4, smashes it into Calvin’s stomach!
Mark: Calvin’s not having much luck with these high risk moves… Jobber goes out of the ring… Now Jobber’s the one looking under the ring… He pulls out…. A GLASS BAT! Jobber back in the ring… He winds the bat back…. Laree jumps up on the apron and grabs it from behind Jobber… Jobber looks back at her and tugs hard at the bat… The glass bat swings quickly and hits the ref and break in half! The ref is out cold! Jobber looking at the ref… Calvin spins him around…. TWIST OF FATE!!! Lumas looking for a confirmation of knock out but there’s no ref! Now Lumas is looking to fly one more time… And once again when he reaches the top rope.
Rhino: Jobber is back up, Jobber jumps at the ropes causing Lumas to lose his balance, Lumas hung up straddled on the top turnbuckle….. Jobber heading up to join him…. Jobber hooks up Lumas… HERRITAGE!!! Lumas landed back first on the thicker half of the broken bat and it shattered! Jobber using the last bit of energy try and pull himself up so he doesn’t get counted as out by the referee however the ref is still out…. Jobber is slapping the mat begging for him to awaken… Here comes another ref, sliding in he’s checking in on Lumas, saying no, not yet.
Mark: He’s barely moving in that ring yet had enough to tell the referee to conitnue the match! Jobber grabs the what’s left of the broken glass bat… Lumas trying to get to his feet… Jobber smashes the rest of the bat over the back of Calvin’s head! Lumas drops like a ton of bricks! Jobber gets Lumas up to his knees… Lumas is out of it… LOW CARD KI… NO! Lumas ducked! 2×4 back in Calvin’s hand… He takes out Jobber’s knee… Now brutal shots with the plank to the back of Jobber! Jobber falls face first to the mat…. Lumas turns him over, places the board on Jobber’s throat… Leaps high into the air and drives his knee into the 2×4! Jobber is gasping for
air! Lumas felt the pain from that 2×4 as well as he now cluthes his knee… Jobber got the worst of it though! Slowly Calvin makes his way up the ropes… He’s looking to end this match and become the New Total Impact Champion…. He looks back to Jobber…Jobber is up but has his back turned to Calvin… He stumbles backwards toward Lumas…. LOW CARD KICK!!! He hit the Low Card Kick while Lumas was still on the top rope! For the second time in this match Lumas has straddled the top turnbuckle…. Jobber pulling himself up to Calvin… Jobber hooks him up…. HERRITAGE OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!! Jobber rolling away, into a sitting posotion, just wating Lumas… the referee has checked in on him… he’s calling for the bell..
Announcer: The Winner Of The Match…. AND STILL THE TOTAL IMPACT CHAMPION… LONE JOBBER!!!
Mark: Once again Jobber successfully defends his Total Impact Championship! As great of a match as that was, we now get to look forward to the Demon Child PyroManiAxe battle where the winner gets to choose his prize.
Rhino: What was originally planned as a normal one on one, has over the week morphed into a ladder match, we’ll have to see how the two men react to such a matchup.
DEMON CHILD vrs PYROMANIAXE
Announcer: Ladies And Gentlemen, This Next Match Is Our Main Event Of The Evening! The following matchup will be a ladder match where the winner will get to chose to face either William McConnell in a match of their choosing or be named the number one contender for the EWA Worlds Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first…. Representing The Hardcore Crew… From the Lotus Pod.. Weighing in at 245 pounds.. PYROMANIAXE!
( “Assassins” blares over the pa system as PyroManiAxe makes his way down to the ring)
PA Announcer: His opponent, from parts unknown.. Weighing in at 269 pounds.. DEMON CHILD!
(“Remember the Name” hits over the PA System as Demon Child makes his way to the ring..)
Mark: Now this is a match that many people have been looking forward to all week long! Neither man is likely to hold back here tonight! Pyro and Demon both run at each other… Demon goes for a punch, Pyro spins around it and shoves his elbow into the side of Demons head! Demon kicks Pyro in the shin than knees him in the face!
Rhino: That was a nice little combo right there! While Pyro is down, Demon goes to the outside and starts tossing weapons into the ring… Among the weapons I see a metal cooking sheet, a lead pipe, the 2×4 we seen earlier this evening, a hammer, a table and now Demon Child has a chair in hand. Pyro dodges the weapons as they soar into the ring toward him… Pyro grabs the 2×4… As he picks it up Demon Child slides into the ring behind him… Pyro turns around, CHAIR SHOT!
Mark: Pyro just looks at Demon Child… Demon swings again… Pyro ducks, hitting Demon Child in the knee cap with the 2×4! Demon drops! Pyro breaks the 2×4 over Demon Child’s shoulder! That might make it difficult to reach for the briefcase hanging above the ring! Pyro grabs the lead pipe….. Demon gets up and kicks it out of Pyro’s hand than hits him with another chair shot! That one staggered Pyro! Demon tosses Pyro the chair than kicks it into Pyro’s face! Pyro’s down!
Rhino: Demon child hops outside the ring and grabs a ladder… He gets on the apron with it…. Pyro gets up….. Pyro gets knocked back down, this time by the ladder that Demon Child is now holding onto… Demon gets in the ring with the ladder…. He opens it slightly to get a better grip… Pyro rushes Demon Child into the turnbuckle! Demon’s hand was caught in the ladder! They both felt the effects of that, Demon got it worse though… Demon has gotten his fingers free but wont let go of the ladder… He runs at Pyro with it… Pyro goes for a dropkick to the ladder…. His legs got caught up in the rungs… Demon slams the ladder down on Pyro’s legs! Now Demon is looking for another weapon…. He grabs the metal cooking sheet… He hits the downed Pyro in the head with it!
Mark: Now Demon is pulling the ladder off of PyroManiAxe and sets it up… Demon begins to climb the ladder… He is nearing the top of it…. Pyro throws the chair up and bounces off Demon’s skull! Barely but Demon is hanging on to the ladder… Pyro, up on his feet, runs toward the rope behind Demon… Springboard Dropkick! That dropkick landed on Demon’s back but smashed his body off the ladder! The ladder topples over… Demon Child lands on it face first! Demon Child rolls out of the ring… After he has caught his breath, Demon Child again goes under the ring for weapons… He pulls out another table…. This one he sets up outside the ring… And again, he goes under the ring… This time he pulls out a sledgehammer…. That’s Triple H’s sledgehammer! Demon now approaching Pyro’s customized ladder… Pyro suicide dives through the ropes… Demon jumps out of the way… Pyro crashes straight into the barricade! Demon, wasting no time, begins to beat Pyro with the sledgehammer!
Rhino: Pyro is hurt! Demon seizes the chance to grab Pyro’s ladder and slides it into the ring… Demon heads into the ring, once he picks the sledgehammer back up… Demon is setting up the THC ladder…. Demon wants to beat Pyro using his own ladder against him! He’s climbing up… 3 more steps and the prizes will be in reach… 2 more steps…. 1 more…. The ladder just burst into flames! Demon Child falls off the ladder! That was a hard fall right there!
Mark: Pyromaniaxe slowly making his way back up, he’s got a chair and is headed into the ring. Pyro looks to be sizing the Demon up, a swing.. and a miss. Demon a kick to the gut, single arm ddt, looks like he’s going to try and wrech on that arm a little more with a sort of arm lock.
Rhino: Pyro fighting out of it, both me starting to get to a vertical base as they trade explosive blows to one and another. Demon grabbing Pyro, whips him to the ropes, Demon looking for a big knock out kick, Pyro ducks, turns around, a spear taking the former world champion down.
Mark: Slowly PyroManiAxe begins to get to his feet, and it seems he’s looking to finish this here and now. Pyro readjusting the ladder and begins the climb. ManiAxe getting ever so close but Demon must have seen what was going on and now is pushing his body to try and catch up to Pyro. Pyro ever so close..
Rhino: He had his fingertips on that breifcase, but now has taken his eye off the prize, realizing that Demon was so close, they are now having it out there on the ladder.
Mark: Demon Child grabs Pyro’s head and drives it straight into the top of the ladder, Pyro looks dazed, Demon looking to put him away with a Demon Drop off the top of the ladder…
Rhino: With one hand clinging for dear life and the other pushing with all his might, Pyro counters the Demon Drop, Demon taking a solo trip down to the floor.
Mark: PyroManiAxe taking a deep breath reaches up.. and he’s got it…
PA Announcer: And your winner… PYROMANIAXE…
Mark: After such a long brutal match up, Pyro has done it.
Rhino: The EWA’s Fireman sitting on top of that ladder with his hard fought briefcase, just letting it all soak in.
Mark: You’ve got to be wondering just what he’s got to be thi….
(“Giving In” hits as out swaggers William McConnell, a glass chair in one hand, a microphone in the other)
William McConnell: So it seems that Pyro, you’ve proven to the world yet again that you are the best of a bad bunch, and while you’re up there sitting on cloud nine, understand that your chooses will lead you to nightmares. Trust m…
(“Shut Your Mouth” hits as Lone Jobber walks out onto the stage, decked out in his trophies with a microphone as well.)
Lone Jobber: Really, you think he’s going to pick bitter hobo Jesus over the World Champion?
McConnell: At least it will mean something.
Jobber: Oh yeah, lets fight the guy who clearly doesn’t care enough to show up to promote the show.
McConnell: You really want to talk about getting the show rolling on time “boss”?
Lone Jobber: Go choke on a dick Will. Pyro just earned himself a chance to go for the World title, that would be… this one. Puny feud with a guy who lost his soap box and doesn’t care, or the World champion. Hmm, which one do you thi…
PyroManiAxe: Shut the hell up, both of you. If it’s between fighting you McConnell or fighting you Jobber, since you are here putting me on the spot…. I’ve only got one thing to say…. that gold is going to look good around my waist!
Mark: And there we have it, at MayHem it will be PyroManiAxe taking on the Lone Jobber…
Rhino: And look at Jobber, trying to rub it in Will’s face that he got chosen, McConnell just shrugs.
Mark: He didn’t just shrug then, McConnell just cracked his glass chair right over the skull of Lone Jobber. The champion is down, the champion is down.
Rhino: McConnell glaring at Pyro and now kneeling down next to Jobber…
McConnell: It’s poetic really, because when I win the Rumble, and I will, to quote one of the most egotistical son of a bitch in this company’s history, it will be just… that… easy Jobber. Trust me.
Mark: McConnell sending a message loud and clear to Lone Jobber and everyone else. For Rhino, I’m Mark saying we will see you all at MayHem, good night folks.