World Rush 2003
Mark:Welcome everyone to eWa World Rush… We are here in the eWa Studios calling most of the action for all of you guys here tonight… This is World Rush… Im Mark and this guy next to me is Rhino…
Rhino:Yes I am Rhino and this is going to be one very interesting night…
Mark:Seven Continents… Seven Matches… One Night… Lets head out to Austraila for the opening match…
AUSTRALIA
LAST MAN STANDING DESERT MATCH
DEMON CHILD VS. LEX LUGER
Ring Announcer:(Lex Luger’s Theme Blasts onto television sets all around the world) Weighing in at 270 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois…..LEX LUGER!!!!…..
::Lex makes a pose to the camera in the middle of nowhere in Australia::
Ring Announcer: (“Crack Addict” by Limp Bizkit Blasts onto television sets all around the world) Weighing in at 255 pounds, from Los Angeles, California….DEMON CHILD!!!!…..
::Demon also makes a quick pose to the camera out in the desert::
Mark: And since this match is in pretty much the middle of nowhere…The ref will be instead, blowing a whistle…
Rhino: Now that’s what I call using your head…
Mark: Yes I’m sure you do…There’s the whistle and this match is underway…
Rhino: It’s got to be almost 200 degrees out there!!!…
Mark: Yes and you should ask Demon Child how hot the sand is after taking that clothesline right from the arm of the member of ALF, Lex Luger…
Rhino: Demon immediately hops to his feet and tries to keep balance in the soft sand…He didn’t want to stay down on that sand, that’s for sure….
Mark: It looks like they’re fighting on some sort of a slope of sand, very steep too…Luger and Demon and the Referee as well are all on the edge of it, all trying to maintain balance and OH MY GOD!! Lex Luger gave Demon a right hand to the face and Demon is rolling down the huge slope of sand!!! Ohh that’s gotta be hot!!….
Rhino: Ohhh man this looks like one of those stunts from MTV’s Jackass!!!…HAHAHA THE REF JUST SLIPPED AND IS FALLING DOWN THE HILL TOO!!!…
Mark: Wow superstars are already being effected by the environment here at World Rush!!…Luger takes his time up on the hill and carefully makes his way down trying not to fall….
Rhino: Hahaha the ref is literally taking off his shoes and is trying to get all that sand out from the fall!!….Lex is picking up Demon by the hair..
Mark: LOW BLOW FROM DEMON CHILD!!…Ohhh man that’s gotta hurt, and the ref didn’t see it because he was too busy getting sand out of his shoes!!!…
Rhino: Don’t tell me we’re going to see a screw job by the Australian Desert…
Mark: Who knows but Luger is down and curled up in a ball as Demon begins to climb part way up the slope…The Ref starts the count….1………2………3………..4…..Luger sits up straight and easily gets back on his feet…
Rhino: It’s going to take a lot to keep a man down on that hot sand for 10 seconds…What is demon doing up on that slope?!….Clothesline in mid-air from Demon to Luger!!…Man that was a huge jump!!…
Mark: Both men are now down on the sand, Demon with his back to the sun, and Luger’s back drenched in the orange sand…
Rhino: I hope those guys all wore their sun tan lotion because they are sure getting a lot of sun today…
Mark: The Ref starts his count…..1……..2………3………4………5…..Both men rise up at the exact same time and both get to their feet….Demon puts his hand up to request a lockup….Lex follows but Demon tricks Luger with a thumb to the eye and then a drop kick to the face….Both men fell to the ground but both men hop right back up….Luger is enraged now…
Rhino: Tricking Luger with a thumb to the eye is not always smart…Especially out in the desert….
Mark: No it’s not…Luger starts running and grunting towards Demon and Demon is actually running away…Both men picking up their feet as high as possible to dodge the clusters of sand…Lex is gaining on Demon….Demon looks back…
Rhino: Ohh man, obviously Demon didn’t pick up his feet high enough…
Mark: Demon tripped right over a baby cactus!!!…What are the chances of that!!….
Rhino: Luger is just laughing and toying with Demon now….
Mark: The Ref has caught up now and Luger is just screaming at Demon to get up….
Rhino: What?!…Demon is yelling back “I CAN’T!!”….OH MY GOD MARK YOU KNOW WHAT?!..
Mark: WHAT?!
Rhino: I THINK THAT’S QUICKSAND DEMON FELL INTO!!!…
Mark: THAT’S IT!!!…THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE’S SLOWLY FADING AWAY FROM THE PICTURE!!…HE’S SINKING…
Rhino: DEMON IS SCREAMING AND TRYING TO KICK HIS WAY OUT OF IT AS THE REF STARTS THE COUNT…
Mark: Luger is still just laughing at Demon as the count starts….1………2……..3……..4………5………6…Demon still struggling….7…….8….Demon is almost up….THE SAND BROUGHT HIM DOWN AGAIN….9………10!!!!….THAT’S IT!!!…
Ring Announcer: And your winner by a count of ten…..LEX….LUGER!!!!!….
Rhino: HAHAHA I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!…
Mark: Here comes the brand new eWa shovel team!!…Demon is still screaming in agony because of his loss and embarrassment as Lex is led away from the desert…You were right Rhino…We did see a little bit of an environmental screw job…
Rhino: THAT’S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE BECAUSE THIS IS WORLD RUSH BABY!!!…
Mark: Let’s get to some more action now over in Asia where we have an exciting TV Title Match upon our hands….
Rhino: Oooooo Singapore Canes in Asia!?…I Like!!!….
Asia
eWa Television Championship Singapore Cane Match
Joey Armstrong(c) vs Baka Kami
Mark:We are suppose to be heading to Asia right now… But Shane McMahon is on the Telephone… Shane what is going on at the moment…
Shane:You know what Mark… Rhino… I have been told that Joey Armstrong is not in Asia at the moment…
Rhino:WHAT?
Shane:So with that I have the following statement… As the eWa Commissioner… I have stripped Joey Armstrong of the eWa Television Title… So there for the eWa Television Title is now vacant… And a statement will be made in the next couple of days regarding the future of the eWa Television Title…
Mark:So we have no TV Champ right now?
Shane:That is correct… Later Guys…
MARK: And now, we take you live to Europe where guest commentator William Regal and Kent Richardson are ready to call the Death Drop Table Match. Ready, guys?
Europe
Death Drop Table
Dragon & Prodigy Vs. John Cena & 911
REGAL: I say it does feel jolly good to be back in my home country.
KENT: I can’t believe I’m actually calling a match here in the EWA. Hello from the grand continent of Europe. Kent Richardson here alongside William Regal and this country is in for a taste of extreme.
REGAL: You chaps there in your little federation get jollies of your athletes mutilating themselves?
KENT: We’re a bunch of sick puppies.
REGAL: I will not stand for this in my respected homeland.
KENT: Just like me, you’re here and getting paid to do a job. Be respectful or be gone.
REGAL: Remember who you’re talking to, sunshine. I’ll bloody tie you up in knots and have you crying for your mum. I will not be besmirched by the likes of you.
(“Are You Ready For This?” kicks up on the P.A. System)
KENT: Here we go. Dragon and Prodigy are walking to the ring ready to compete in this Death Drop Table Match against John Cena and 911.
REGAL: Now explain to me just what is a Death Drop Table Match?
KENT: We’ve elevated the stage entrance much like the WWE. There are tables that are below where the stage drops off. You get the opponent back to the entrance, throw him off into one of the tables down there, and you win.
REGAL: Sounds bloody barbaric.
(“Word Life” plays through the arena)
KENT: Here comes John Cena down and what the hell? His intro was cut. It’s 911.
REGAL: He should be out here with his bloody partner. Instead, he’s in the back shooting a video feed?
KENT: 911 has obviously got something to say.
911 VIA EXTREME THEATER: Yo man, this shit is fo’ the birds. I’m on Extreme Theater ’bout to spit you some words. Cena, I just dug yo fuckin’ grave pit. Read these lips, faggot: I QUIT!
REGAL: The yellow bellied cretin just bloody gave up!
KENT: Dragon and Prodigy are now jumpin’ the holy hell out of John Cena! If 911 had showed up, I believe Cena and him could’ve won this thing but now, Cena gamely fights back but he doesn’t stand a chance. Prodigy nails him with a savate kick and now, Dragon picks Cena back up. Choke Bomb on Cena. Dragon and Prodigy now positioning Cena.
REGAL: Jonathan is in the clutches of both Dragon and Prodigy.
KENT: DOUBLE CHOKESLAM from way up there and Cena goes through not one, not two but three tables! It’s over!
REGAL: Have Dragon and Prodigy won?
KENT: Yes, they have.
ANNOUNCER: THE WINNERS OF THIS MATCH….DRAGON AND PRODIGY!
REGAL: Jolly good show.
KENT: We head back to the states to Mark and Rhino as they announce the next match.
Africa
Lions Den Handicap Match
Faction vs Steve Austin
MARK: And now, we head to Africa where EWA President Omega and former EWA Undisputed Champion Al Snow are calling the action. Guys?
OMEGA: Fuck you and everyone in the EWA.
AL: Greetings from Africa! Al Snow along with the master of warm greetings, Omega, here in Africa to call the Lion’s Den Match.
OMEGA: I am not The Coach. We fuckin’ built an octagon here. Not that small WWE bullshit but an actual UFC octagon with the fence barrier raised to about cage match heights. If they were any higher, this shit would be unstable. Austin is pissed ’cause he ran his fuckin’ mouth and now has to back it up. Prove yo shit, fucker. You said you could take ’em on? Come on and prove it.
(Glass shatters and Austin heads toward the octagon with “3:16” in full blast)
AL: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!
OMEGA: Son bitch needs new music. Take a hint, jackass, I’m fightin’ Vince in court because guys like him are doin’ dumb shit like comin’ to the EWA with WWE music. Triple H don’t count ’cause an actual band made his shit. It’s because I get guys like Rock and Shawn and Austin and you who can’t wake the fuck up and get their own music.
AL: I don’t know about everyone else, but I bought my music from Vince. It was mine to use at will.
OMEGA: Let him come with that. It’ll make my court battle all the more easier.
(“Money For Everything” kicks up in the arena)
AL: Halo. Kid Money. Both men accompanied by Ted Dibiase. The EWA Tag Team Champions. The Faction. Is there anything else I could say about these two magnificent singles wrestlers?
OMEGA: Magnificent? I see two guys who collectively can’t hold a candle to me. No one can. I’m the best in the business. So good, I proved that an entire alliance wasn’t ready for the way I wrecked shit.
AL: Stone Cold is surrounded and has got that “I’m pissed off” walk goin’ on there in the ring as Halo and Kid Money surround the rattlesnake.
OMEGA: You’d be pissed off to havin’ to face two guys and shit. Yeah, you faced six guys to become Undisputed Champion but so what?
AL: I don’t see this match lasting too long. Austin is an excellent brawler but I don’t see him lasting too long against Halo or Kid Money.
OMEGA: Yeah. Jump the bitch and get it over with. Just another day of The Factor rippin’ someone a new asshole.
AL: Austin is on the attack and he catches Kid Money first. STUNNER! Kid Money got caught just like that but man, Halo just chop blocked Austin and did he ever chop block him.
OMEGA: “Aim Here.” All Austin has to do is write that shit on his fuckin’ knees. It ain’t like he didn’t ask for it.
AL: Halo with some well placed kicks to Austin’s gut. Short arm clothesline gets Austin down and Halo proceeds to make a mud hole.
OMEGA: Stompin’ him the fuck out. His new name is fire.
AL: Halo picking Austin up. Has him on the shoulder and power slams him Davey Boy style right into the floor of the Octagon.
OMEGA: Looks like Kid Money’s finally getting up from the Stunner. Austin must’ve caught him good.
AL: Halo going for a reverse Figure Four but Austin punching, scratching and biting his way out. Austin rakes him in the eye on the ground position. Austin’s fighting his way up. Right hand, another, make it three, STUNNER! Just like that, Halo is out!
OMEGA: The last thing he saw was that one finger salute.
AL: Now Austin is dragging Halo to the fencing surrounding the octagon. Handcuffs. Austin has handcuffs.
OMEGA: He came prepared and now this match just got even. No keys I bet.
AL: Austin has now got Halo cuffed to the fencing of the Octagon.
OMEGA: The kid is comin’ to quick. He’s gonna splat.
AL: You’re right! Kid Money hit Austin full speed and now everyone is out!
OMEGA: Halo’s cuffed to the fencing and Austin is hangin’ on to the fencing trying to stay up from that collision. So is the kid.
AL: WHOA! What the hell was that? Just what the hell was that?
OMEGA: Don’t know what an electrical charge is, jackass?
AL: Yeah, but where’d it come from? Who set it off?
OMEGA: Who gives a shit? It made the match a lot more interesting.
AL: The sheer intensity of that shock has knocked everyone out who was in contact with the fencing of the Octagon. Kid Money. Steve Austin. Halo. They’re all out. That damn shock was so powerful, it blew the handcuffs loose.
OMEGA: Yeah. Now Halo’s bitch ass is laid the fuck out right along Austin and Money.
AL: There’s no choice now for the referee to count. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10!
OMEGA: Two words: No contest.
ANNOUNCER: The referee has declared that the participants of this match cannot continue. Therefore, this match is NO CONTEST!
AL: A controversial ending to say the least! Who set that charge off?
OMEGA: I could say DX but I don’t think Shawn and Hunter want any of Halo and Kid Money. They could prove me wrong though and say they did it just because they could. Because I kicked them in the nuts, DX is back and back with a vengeance. Suck dick, everybody. DX is unstoppable because I said so.
AL: We know send it back to Mark and Rhino. Guys?
Mark:Thanks guys we are now ready to go Antarctica for our next match up…
Antarctica
Ice Breaker Match
Goldberg vs Chris Benoit
Mark: Wow that look’s nice, the eWa even created an ICE RING for this match made out of the caps straight in Antarctica…
Rhino: I hope these guys brought their ice skates then, wrestling boots don’t do well on Ice…
Mark: Time will tell….Only time will tell….
Ring Announcer: (GOLDBERG’S Theme Blasts onto television sets all around the world) Weighing in at 283 pounds, from Atlanta, Georgia…..GOLDBERG!!!!!!…..
::Goldberg makes a pose and points towards the camera in the corner of the ICE RING::
Ring Announcer: (Chris Benoit’s Theme Blasts onto television sets all around the world) Weighing in at 235 pounds, from Alberta, Canada….CHRIS BENOIT!!!!…..
::Benoit makes a gesture towards Goldberg as the bell on the outside of the ICE RING is rung::
Mark: Wow…There is even ice statues in the corners to substitute for turnbuckles….
Rhino: Both men hustle towards each other…and…HAHAHA BOTH OF THEM SLIPPED AND FELL STRAIGHT DOWN…
Mark: Boy I can tell this match will be entertaining….Both men try to get up using the ring ropes made out of ice, that have no give at all, those ice ropes are just like steel rods even!!…Goldberg gets to his feet first….Benoit is against the Ice Ropes….SPEAR SPEAR GOLDBERG JUST SPEARED BENOIT THROUGH THE ROPES AND OUT OF THE RING!!…
Rhino: Haha…I’m sure breaking through that Ice hurt but they must be happy laying in that snowbank…
Mark: Goldberg gets up and climbs on top of the snowbank as Chris Benoit…
Rhino: Chris Benoit threw a snowball right in the face of goldberg!!! Ha…GOLDBERG LOST HIS BALANCE AND FELL BACK INTO MORE SNOW….
Mark: Man The desert was too hot…now it’s too cold, World Rush is definitely a rush!…
Rhino: This match is turning into joke…BUT WHO CARES I LOVE IT!!!…
Mark: Well Benoit doesn’t agree as he starts escorting Goldberg back to the ICE RING…Goldberg pushes Benoit right into the Side of the ring….Goldberg begins giving lefts and rights to the abdomen of Benoit….
Rhino: So far Goldberg looks like he wants to start off his undefeated streak in the eWa right here tonight…
Mark: Tell that to Chris Benoit after that belly to belly suplex to Goldberg…BENOIT THREW GOLDBERG RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ICE RING WITH THAT MOVE!!…
Rhino: Never count out the crippler…But it’s a good thing those ropes were already missing to let Benoit throw Goldberg into the ice ring like that…
Mark: Benoit begins to give several kicks to the face of Goldberg, Benoit even sprays snot all over the big man!!…
Rhino: Both of these men are pissed off…and I don’t blame ’em being that cold!!…
Mark: Benoit picks up Goldberg off the ice of the…..Ice Ring….Benoit grapples him and a HARD brainbuster right into the rock-hard ice….Ahh that was painful I bet…
Rhino: Benoit looks to finish him off right here I bet….
Mark: You might be right as Benoit makes his way onto the Ice Statue, substituting for turnbuckles, Benoit balances and DIVING HEADBUTT….RIGHT INTO THE ICE AS GOLDBERG ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY….OH MY GOD!!…
Rhino: I’M SURPRISED BENOIT’S HEAD DIDN’T JUST SHATTER INTO A MILLION PIECES!!! THAT HAD TO HAVE HURT SO BAD!!…
Mark: Yes but it’s Chris Benoit, The Canadian Crippler, and he’s one tough son of a gun….Goldberg walks towards the lying corpse of Benoit….Goldberg starts to pick up Benoit…CRIPPLER CROSS FACE…BENOIT SOMEHOW FOOLED GOLDBERG INTO THE CRIPPLER CROSS FACE AND GOLDBERG IS NOW SCREAMING IN PAIN…
Rhino: TAPPING WON’T DO ANY GOOD…BENOIT JUST WANTS TO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF HIM!!!…
Mark: After a few seconds finally Chris Benoit snaps and lets go, immediately picking up Goldberg….HERE IT IS…..GERMAN SUPLEX……
Rhino: Ohhh Goldberg’s back has got to be feeling this…
Mark: ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX….YOU KNOW THERE’S ONE MORE…AND….GOLDBERG IS GERMAN SUPLEXED RIGHT THROUGH THE ICE AND DOWN INTO THE SNOW BENEATH!!! THAT’S IT!!! THE BELL IS RINGING LIKE CRAZY AS EVERYONE IS RACING FROM THE COLD….
Ring Announcer: And your winner by….breaking the ICE with his opponent….CHRIS…BENOIT!!!…
Rhino: I guess we won’t be seeing any undefeated streaks from Goldberg here in the eWa….
Mark: Too True….Too True….Goldberg is not only in pain, but he’s probably got frostbite too!!…Ouch!!….let’s get to the next continent for the next spectacular match of World Rush!….
South America
FTW Title Electrifed Cage Match
Triple H(c) vs Lone Jobber vs The Rock
Mark: well it looks like its Fuck the World time here at World Rush.
Rhino: Where is this one taking place again?
Mark: South America…
Rhino: Oh great, with how this night has been going I’m expecting a cage
Some where out in the jungle powered by some commercial sized generator…
Mark: Well Rhino, sorry to disappoint you, but they actually managed to get
A stadium…
Rhino: They did? Weird.
Mark: Yes, they did. Located in the country of Brazil, we’ve got the
Maraca. Maraca is typically used for international soccer games, but
Tonight we’ve transformed it into an arena for hell for three very special
people here in the ewa. It houses roughly 70 though and people, but as you
can see, the ring is located near the center, and being the good folks here
at the eWa, we allowed fans to sit on the stadium floor.
Rhino: You telling me that all 70 though and seats are filled and we even
got people located on the ground level? All for one match?
Mark: Sold out. Didn’t take too long. You fail to realize that this is
the eWa, we make memories. I’m getting word from the back that we are to
show some video… so lets run it…
(In spite of The Rock’s absence up on the Hardcore Theater appears none other than…THE ROCK!!…The crowd already gives a roar for the People’s Champ)
The Rock: (With a Smile)….Triple H!….Lone Jobber!….How you cats doin?!?…Damn man…The Rock is sorry he couldn’t be there to lay the smackdown on both of yo candy asses but The Rock’s got some more business in Hollywood if you know what he means….(Crowd Boos)….Hey Hey Hey…Don’t boo The Rock…You know The Rock always makes it up to The People!!….But Triple H….Onto another matter….You think it was clever jumping The Rock last week?….You think it was clever ruining The Rock’s shot at the Undisputed Title?….Well The Rock Says…Triple H….Let’s just see who’s the clever one after tonight…IF YA SMELLLLLLALALALOW….WHAT THE ROCK….IS….COOKIN’…
(The Rock fades out with the people’s eyebrow and a smile as the crowd as some boos and cheers, missing the great one)
Mark: So it seems this match has became a one on one for the rivals Lone
Jobber and Triple H. Let’s bring out the first man shouldn’t we?
Ring Announcer: (One Is The Lonest Number starts up and begins to play as
Lone Jobber starts to make his way out) Weighing in at 235 pounds, from the
Slaughterhouse…..Lone Jobber!!!!…..
Rhino: And listen to that response. It seems that everyone here is on his
side.
Mark: Thats right Rhino. Is it me or is he kind of different tonight?
Rhino: What do you mean?
Mark: It seems like he’s wearing a little more, his shorts are baggy, but
it could just be the reception.
Rhino: Doesn’t matter, if he touches that cage, he’s in for the shock of
His lifetime.
Mark: Here’s one thing that was never brought up, and I shall bring it up
right now as he continues to make that long walk. Lone Jobber is a man who
knows cage matches, do you think it will make an impact in the match at all?
Rhino: Most likely not. But it’s rumored that Jobber personally works on
all the cages used here in the eWa, so who knows.
Mark: So what, he’s sorta like part entertainer, part fighter, and part
roadie?
Rhino: Yep.
Mark: Well Jobber is in the ring, and with a little touchy touchy, we know
that the cage is ready as well.
Ring Announcer: (It’s Time To Play The Game jams as Triple H comes out and
makes his way down the makeshift isle to the ring) Weighing in at 246
pounds, from Greenwich, Ct….. He is the current FTW champion, the Game,
Triple H!!!…..
Mark: And now listen to that reception Rhino..
Rhino: Guess everyone got the cheering out of their system as it’s all
boo’s from what I can tell.
Mark: Look at them stare each other down.
Rhino: This is what it’s all come down to. And look at Jobber… anyone
can tell what he’s trying to say to Hunter…
Mark: Yeah, just you and me, one on one. The last time these two faced one
on one, it was in a hell in a cell, a ladder match. Both men held titles,
both titles on the line. Jobber’s world, and Hunter’s FTW. That match
ended in a draw. Some years later, it’s come down to one electrified cage,
and the FTW title yet again.
Rhino: Jobber is stopping Hunter from getting threw the cage door… it
seems he wants to do something…
Mark: From one of Jobber’s pockets, he’s taken a, a water balloon? Jobber
biting at one and end drinking the whole thing.
Rhino: Now thats just funny, mocking Hunter and his typical water spit
routine.
Mark: He might not have been mocking him, maybe he was warning him, Hunter
could have been fried right there.
Rhino: Whatever it was meant to mean, it’s over now. Hunter and Jobber are
now both in the ring. Hunter has given the belt to the referee, shows it to
Jobber, and has handed it off to be held by the bell-ringer.
Mark: And finally, the bell has rung and this match is finally off. And,
and they are just staring at each other.
Rhino: Hunter the powerhouse, Jobber the flyer, what will happen?
Mark: Hunter with a clothesline. Waits as Jobber gets back up, Hunter gives
a knee buster, pedigree…
Rhino: He wants to get this the hell over with…
Mark: Hunter with a pin….. 1…
Rhino: Way too soon. And look at Jobber, tisk tisk…
Mark: And now we’ve got some action. Jobber and Hunter trading blows left
and right. Hunter with a spine buster, but Jobber jumping back to his
feet.
Rhino: Hunter doesn’t like this, he doesn’t like this at all.
Mark: Jobber off the ropes and Hunter reverses his cross body with a power
slam. Hunter picking up jobber and sending him to the corner. Hunter
rushing in, but Jobber moves out of the way and now Hunter is in the corner.
Jobber pushing Hunter on the top rope, looks like a suplex…
Rhino: And that bastard Hunter just pushed jobber off to the side, in
between the ropes and the cage. Look at him tweak out.
Mark: That’s giving Hunter a little bit of rest time. Hunter now taking
Jobber, but still the man fights on. Jobber runs against the ropes,
springboard dropkick. Hunter is down. Jobber getting Hunter into a
powerbomb or piledriver position. Jobber moving into place… ally hoop!
Rhino: Hunter just got a face full of cage and his groin just whacked the
top turnbuckle. Now thats what I call good entertainment.
Mark: Jobber picking Hunter up, back in the set up position, he’s hooking
his arms in a chicken wing… Pedigree…
Rhino: Jobber knows that move first hand. Hunter is down, and Jobber, is
going up?
Mark: Jobber on the top rope. 450. He’s not stay for the pin though, it
looks like he’s making his way to the cage.. and he’s climbing it?
Rhino: The pockets of Jobber’s pants.. I know why they were bulging… he
had a pair of rubber gloves in them…
Mark: Brilliant. Jobber now at the top of the cage. He’s looking from
Hunter to the gold and back to Hunter. Will he take the leap of faith and
put the match into the hands of God?
Rhino: He’s always screwed up when ever he’s done that… what can’t he
learn from his mistakes?
Mark: Jobber’s jumping… one flip, two flips… Jobber just hit the 990…
Rhino: The 990?
Mark: The 810 is his advanced version of the 450, the 990 is simply the 810
with an extra amount of turnage…
Rhino: But neither is moving. That move took everything out of him.
Mark: The referee’s on the mat. 1…. 2…. 3… The bells bring rang…
Rhino: Jobber’s complaining to the ref that he got his shoulder up in
time… but why… when he landed, he landed on Hunter?
Announcer: The winner, and new FTW champion, Lone Jobber.
Mark: He’s shocked… he thought he lost again…
Rhino: Hunter’s finally been beat… Jobber has finally beaten Hunter….
Mark: And look at him just staring at the title. As the cage lifts, we all
must consider how much Jobber put into that match…
Rhino: My god… it’s the Rock..
Mark: The Rock laying in the kicks… picks Hunter up, spinebuster. There
goes the elbow pad, People’s Elbow… And the rock’s got the microphone…
The Rock: Oh Yeah Triple H!!…Oh Yea!!…Who’s the clever one now bitch?!…(Crowd Cheers)…I’ll tell you who…The Peoples Champ The Rock!!!….Hunter you want to cause The Rock to miss out on the Undisputed Title?!….Well The Rock just ’caused’ you to no longer see your precious FTW title!!…And oh no no no Hunter…You ain’t getting no rematch just yet….Because next week Hunter….It’s going to be Triple H….and Shawn Michaels…(Crowd Boos)…The man that should’ve gotten his ass kicked last week!!…vs. The Rock…and a partner of his choice….(Crowd Cheers)….So Triple H…don’t get up when The Rock is talkin…
(The Rock gives Triple H a shove with his foot back to the mat)
The Rock: So Triple H….The Rock’s got 3 real special words for you…and that’s “JUST BRING IT!”…IF YA SMELALALALALALOW…LALALALOW LOW!!!…OH YEA…WHAT THE ROCK…IS COOKIN’!!!….
(“Is Cookin'” blasts onto the PA system as The Rock smiles to the crowd and poses on the turnbuckle as Triple H makes his way to the back without his long and forgotten FTW title)
Mark: And as the Rock leaves the ring, Jobber is still in shock…
Rhino: Wouldn’t you be if you were him?
Mark:Well its time to head down to Mexico for our Main Event
North America
eWa Undisputed World Championship Mexican Strap Match
Shawn Michaels(c) vs PYB
Pa Announcer:This next match is a special MEXICAN STRAP MATCH… For the eWa Undisputed World Heavyweight Championship… Introducing first… The Challenger… From Evansville, Indiana… Weighing in at 235 Pounds… PYB…
(“I must not chase the boys” hits as PYB enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From San Antonio, Texas… Weighing ing at 227 Pounds… Representing Degeneration X… The Current and Defending eWa Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion… The Heartbreak Kid… SHAWN MICHAELS…
(“Boy Toy” plays as Shawn Michaels enters the arena…)
Mark:Both men are joined by the wrists right now…
Rhino:This match is going to be decided by a pinfall or by touching all four turnbuckles in a row…
Mark:Shawn and PYB are looking at one another…
Rhino:PYB is acting very strange and you can just see the look on the face of Shawn Michaels…
Mark:Right hand by HBK on to PYB… Michaels with a couple of more right hands… And sends him off in to the ropes… And nails PYB with a clothesline…
Rhino:Michaels knocked the strange one off his feet and is starting to tear in to him…
Mark:Michaels picks up and slams PYB down to the canvas… And now Michaels grabs the strap… And is whipping PYB right in the back with the strap…
Rhino:Shawn has PYB back up and has him up against the rope…
Mark:Shawn has the strap… And nails PYB right in the chest with the strap…
Rhino:WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mark:HBK with another slap with the strap…
Rhino:WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mark:Michaels now sends PYB in to the corner… Michaels charges right in but PYB puts his feet up and he nails him right in the face… Spinheel Kick by PYB and he took Michaels Head off…
Rhino:He sure did with that move…
Mark:PYB with the strap and he nails Michaels right in the back with the strap… And now PYB is nailing with the strap and is whipping him from behind…
Rhino:And look at the smile on PYB’s face as he is doing it…
Mark:PYB now hooks up Shawn Michaels and he drills him with a brainbuster… PYB rolls over on to HBK for the cover 1…………………..2…………………….Kickout by HBK…
Rhino:PYB is in control over the champion right now…
Mark:PYB has Michaels up in the corner… And is whipping him a couple of times with the strap again… As he has HBK up on the top rope…
Rhino:Superplex time I believe…
Mark:Michaels blocks the superplex…And he knocks PYB off the top rope… Michaels comes off the top rope now and with the strap whips PYB right in the back…
Rhino:HBK is trying to swing the momentum…
Mark:Shawn scoops him up again and slams him down to the canvas…
Rhino:Michaels is right back up to the top rope…
Mark:Moonsault by HBK on to PYB and a cover 1……………………….2…………… Kickout by PYB…
Rhino:Shawn is now dragging PYB around as he is trying to touch the turnbuckles…
Mark:Michaels hits one turnbuckle… And is now going for the second one… And he is able to get that one…
Rhino:PYB is starting to get himself together…
Mark:Michaels is tagging the third and he does…
Rhino:Shawn needs to touch one more…
Mark:PYB goes behind HBK and a roll up… 1………………2………………… Kickout by HBK…
Rhino:PYB with a couple of right hands to back up HBK…
Mark:PYB sends Michaels in to the ropes… Reversal by Michaels… Shawn goes for the superkick… Ducked by PYB…
Rhino:PYB goes for the Psyko Kick…
Mark:Michaels catches the kick and spins PYB around… SWEET CHIN MUSIC by HBK on to PYB… And heres the cover 1………………………2………………………..3………
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and STILL eWa Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion… SHAWN MICHAELS…
Rhino:The Heartbreak Kid survived the strap match and is walking out here tonight…
Mark:What we do know now… It will be Shawn Michaels and Triple H against The Rock and a partner at Tuesday Night Carnage… World Rush is over and done with… We will see you at Carnage… Good Night…
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