November 2 Dismember 2001 (11-17-01)

Mark:Welcome everyone to November 2 Dismember… I am as always Mark… Alongside with the man known as Rhino…

Rhino:Yep… Its Me… Its R-H-I-N-O…

Mark:Tonight is gonna be an emotional night… As tonight we pay tribute to a man known as Ps2Phemon… Or rather… Jay Mack… As tonight… Shawn Michaels… Omega… Blake Bennit… The Rock and Lone Jobber will go at in a tribute match in his honor…

Rhino:I believe who ever wins… This match should be one hell of a fight between those five men…

Mark:Also tonight we have many other big time matches… Including… Triple H defending the eWa Television Title against Jeff Jarrett… Rob Van Dam battles Lance Storm for the eWa X Championship… And also Lone Jobber will defend… The eWa Tag Team Titles against The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin…

Rhino:They all should be exciting…

Mark:Yes they should but right now lets get this show started…

Tazz vs Razor Ramon

Pa Announcer:The Opening Match at November 2 Dismember is set for one fall… Introducing first…From Miami, Florida… Weighing in at 287 Pounds… Da Bad Guy… RAZOR RAMON…

(“Razor” hits as Razor Ramon makes his way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:His opponent… From The Red Hook Section of Brooklyn, New York… Weighing in at 240 Pounds… TAZZ…

(“Survive” hits as Tazz makes his way down to the ring…)

Mark:The Bell Sounds and this match up is underway… Tazz and Ramon locking it up in the center of the ring… Tazz now takes control with a few fists to the head of Ramon… Ramon now gets sent for the ride in to the ropes… Tazz catches him now and looks to hook him in a clutch suplex…

Rhino:But it is blocked by Ramon…

Mark:Ramon now with a rake to the eyes and now a clothesline by Da Bad Guy… Ramon now stomping at the midsection of Tazz… Ramon now picks him up and goes for a fallaway slam and connects with a cover 1……………….2………. Kick out by Tazz…

Rhino:Ramon is trying to set his pace in this match as he does not want to make any mistakes and get caught in a suplex of Tazz…

Mark:Ramon now sends Tazz in to the ropes… Ramon goes for a clothesline… Ducked by Tazz who goes behind Ramon and nails him with a German Suplex…

Rhino:Just what Razor didnt want to do… And he did it…

Mark:Tazz now with clubbing forearms to Razor Ramon… Tazz now picks up Ramon and nails him with a T-Bone Tazzplex… Tazz picks him up again and nails him with another one…

Rhino:Tazz is signaling for the end…

Mark:TAZZMISSION is locked on…

Rhino:Its only a matter of time before he taps…

Mark:Da Bad Guy taps out to the Tazzmission…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner TAZZ…

Mark:Tazz gets the win in the opening match at November 2 Dismember… But lets get back to the ring…

Shawn Michaels & Shane McMahon vs Whiplash & Blake Bennit

Pa Announcer:This next match is set for one fall… Introducing first…
From Atlanta,Ga… The Team of Whiplash and Blake Bennit…

(Blake’s theme hits as they walk to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:Their opponents… They are representing Degeneration x… The
team of the eWa Commissioner Shane McMahon and The Heartbreak Kid Shawn
Michaels…

(“Boy Toy” plays as HBK and Shane McMahon walk to the ring…)

Mark:The Bell Sounds and this match is under way…

Rhino:It looks like to me as it will be Shawn Michaels and Blake Bennit
starting this match out…

Mark:Michaels and Blake tie it up in the center of the ring… Michaels now
hammering in at Blake with right hands… Michaels now whips Blake Bennit in
to the ropes and nails him with a big back body drop…Michaels now sends
Blake in to the corner…

Rhino:Michaels tags in the eWa Commissioner…

Mark:Shane and Shawn are now putting the boots to Blake Bennit in the
corner… Shane whips Blake in to the ropes… Flying Clothesline by Shane
McMahon… Cover by Shane 1……2….. Blake kicks out…

Rhino:Shane makes the quick tag to Shawn Michaels…

Mark:Michaels now back in the ring and scoops up Blake Bennit and slams him
down hard in the center of the ring… Michaels drops a leg drop and cover
him 1…….2…. Kick out again by Blake Bennit…

Rhino:So far its all team DX…

Mark:Michaels now hooks Blake and nails him with a suplex…

Rhino:Michaels and Shane McMahon look very confindent…

Mark:Superkick to Whiplash… Out of know where… Out of the blue he nails
Whiplash with some sweet chin music…

Rhino:I never saw that coming and I dont think Whiplash did either…

Mark:Michaels now sends Blake in to the ropes… SWEET CHIN MUSIC to Blake
Bennit…

Rhino:Michaels now tags in Shane McMahon…

Mark:Big Elbow drop by Shane McMahon… Cover 1……2……3…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winners… Shane McMahon and Shawn Michaels…

Rhino:Michaels and McMahon dominated this match up…

Mark:But anyhow lets get back to the ring…

eWa X Championship Match
Rob Van Dam(c) vs Lance Storm

Pa Announcer:This next match is set for one fall and is for the eWa X
Championship… Introducing first… The Challenger…From Calagry, Alberta,
Canada… Weighing in at 234 Pounds… LANCE STORM…

(“Serious” hits as Lance Storm makes his way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Battle Creek, Michigan… Weighing in at
227 Pounds… He is from the eWa X Champion… Representing Degeneration
X… ROB VAN DAM…

(“Walk” hits as RVD makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:The Bell Sounds as this match up begins… RVD and Storm tie up in the
center of the ring… RVD nails Storm with a few forearm shots and then
sends him in to the ropes… Flying Cross Body by RVD… Cover
1……2…… Kickout by Storm… RVD sends Storm in to the ropes… Storm
ducks the clothesline… And nails him with a Spin Kick…

Rhino:Storm and RVD are trying to get an advantage on one another…

Mark:Storm nails RVD with a few right hands… Storm now takes him over with
an armbar… RVD is pulling himself to the ropes… Storm now picks up Van
Dam and slams him down to the canvas… Storm now drops a big leg to RVD… Cover by Storm 1………2…….. Kickout by RVD…

Rhino:A move like that is not going to keep down Rob Van Dam…

Mark:Lance Storm picks him up with a hammerlock and now picks him up in a belly to back suplex… Cover by Storm again…1………….2………….. Kickout again by RVD… Lance Storm now sends Rob Van Dam in to the ropes and hits a powerslam… Another cover by Storm 1………2………… Kickout by RVD…

Rhino:Another kickout by the eWa X Champion…

Mark:Storm now sends him in to the turnbuckle… And nails him with a huge clothesline as he sends him in to the other corner… RVD comes out and Storm nails him with a superkick…

Rhino:That could be the knock out blow right there…

Mark:Cover by Storm 1……………2……….. Kickout by RVD…

Rhino:I can not believe Rob Van Dam kicked out…

Mark:And neither can Lance Storm who is setting him up for a superplex…

Rhino:This could be it…

Mark:RVD blocks it and shows him off… FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH on Lance Storm… Cover 1………….2…………..3……..

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and STILL eWa X Champion… ROB VAN DAM…

Rhino:It happened so fast I can not believe it…

Mark:Lets head to the ring for the strange eWa Tag Team Title Match…

eWa Tag Team Title Match
Lone Jobber(c) vs Stone Cold & The Rock

Pa Announcer:This next match is a handicap match and its for the eWa Tag Team Championship… Introducing first… The Challengers… The Team of The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin…

(“Glass”hits as Stone Cold walks out… “The Rock Says” hits as The Rock walks out…)

Pa Announcer:Their opponent… He is the eWa Tag Team Champion… Ladies and Gentlemen… LONE JOBBER…

(Jobber’s theme hits as he walks to the ring…)

Mark:Here we go… The Rock will start it out for his team against Lone Jobber…

Rhino:These two men will also be involved in the tribute match later on tonight…

Mark:The Rock strikes Jobber first… Jobber is firing back with right hands of his own… The Rock blocks a right hand of Jobber and nails him with one of his own… The Rock sends Jobber in to the ropes and nails him with a samoan drop… Cover by The Rock 1…….2……. And Jobber kicks out…

Rhino:The Rock makes the tag to Stone Cold Steve Austin…

Mark:The Rock and Stone Cold double team Lone Jobber and nail him with a suplex…Stone Cold now putting the boots to Lone Jobber…Stone Cold now sends Jobber in to the ropes… Goes for a Lou Thez Press… Blocked by Jobber who throws him back down to the canvas…

Rhino:Jobber blocked one of Stone Cold Steve Austin’s trademark moves…

Mark:Jobber now picks up Stone Cold and slams him down to the canvas… Flip Splash by Lone Jobber… Cover by Jobber 1……………2…………. And The Rock makes the save…

Rhino:The Rock is hammering Jobber…

Mark:Jobber is now being double teamed by Stone Cold and The Rock… Who have just double clotheslined Lone Jobber… Jobber now gets suplex by Stone Cold…

Rhino:The Rock has that look in his eye…

Mark:Could it be time for the…

Rhino:I think it can…

Mark:The Rock off the rope… Off the other side… He Misses… The Rock misses the People’s Elbow as Lone Jobber moves out of the way… Stone Cold goes for a clothesline… Stunner…

Rhino:Lone Jobber just used Stone Cold’s move on him… How do you like that…

Mark:Jobber and The Rock now going at it… The Rock goes for a right hand… Ducked by Lone Jobber… Jobber with a Rock Bottom…

Rhino:He used their own moves against them…

Mark:Jobber covers The Rock… 1…………2………. Stone Cold breaks it up… Stone Cold now goes for the Stunner on Jobber… Jobber turns him around… GIMMICK… He hit The Gimmick on Jobber… Cover 1…………….2…………….3…..

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and STILL eWa Tag Team Champion… LONE JOBBER…

Rhino:Lone Jobber just beat 2 of the biggest stars in the industry…

Mark:Well its time to go to the ring for the barbed wire match…

#1 Contendership Barbed Wire Match for the eWa World Title
Justin Credible vs Psycronic

Pa Announcer:This next match is a BARBED WIRE MATCH and its for the Number One Contendership for the eWa World Heavyweight Title…Introducing first… From Evansville,In… Weighing in at 256 Pounds… PSYCRONIC…

(“Psyko Boy” hits as he makes his way down to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Ozone Park,New York… Weighing in at 220 Pounds… Representing Degeneration X… JUSTIN CREDIBLE…

(“Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your NecK” hits as Justin Credible makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:The Bell Sounds and this match begins…

Rhino:Someone will bleed in this match up…

Mark:Justin Credible and Psycronic tie it up in the center of the ring… Psycronic nails Justin Credible with a kick to the gut and nails him with a swinging neckbreaker… Psycronic picks up Justin Credible… Goes for a clothesline… And now Justin pushes Psycronic in to the far side…

Rhino:Psycronic puts on the breaks before hitting the barbed wire…

Mark:Dropkick by Justin Credible and Psycronic goes face first in to the Barbed Wire… Justin Credible with a neckbreaker… Cover by Justin Credible 1……….2……….. Kickout by Psycronic…

Rhino:Hes not going to get him with a move like that… What the hell was he thinking…

Mark:I dont know but Justin Credible picks up Psycronic and hot shots him on to the barbed wire… Justin Credible now putting the boots to Psycronic and covers him again… 1……….2…….. Kickout again… Justin Credible now sets up for a powerbomb… Blocked by Psycronic and nails Justin Credible with a slingshot…

Rhino:Nice counter by Psycronic… And now Justin Credible has been cut open…

Mark:Psycronic now picks up Justin Credible… And hot shots him on the barbed wire… Cover now by Psycronic 1………..2……. Kickout… Psycronic picks him up again… Reversal by Justin Credible… THATS INCREDIBLE…

Rhino:Thats got to be over…

Mark:Cover by Justin 1…………….2…………3………..

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner JUSTIN CREDIBLE…

Rhino:So its now Justin Credible vs Purgatory… At the next event… That should be interesting…

Mark:Yes it should… Now its time for the Television Title Match… So lets head to the ring…

eWa Television Title Match
Triple H(c) vs Jeff Jarrett

Pa Announcer:This next match is for the eWa Television Championship… Introducing first… The Challenger…From Music City, USA… Weighing in at 234 Pounds… The Chosen One… JEFF JARRETT…

(“Chosen One” hits as Jeff Jarrett makes his way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Greenwich, CT… Weighing in at 260 Pounds… Representing Degeneration X… He is the eWa Television Champion… The Game… TRIPLE H…

(“The Game” hits as Triple H makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:Here we go… The Game and The Chosen One Trading rights and lefts back and forth… The Chosen One rakes the eyes of Triple H… The Game now rakes the eyes of Jeff Jarrett…

Rhino:Both men are trademark quote unquote Bad Guys… So they know all the tricks in the book…

Mark:Triple H now throws a quick jab to Jeff Jarrett… Jarrett now gets sent in to the ropes… Running knee smash to Jeff Jarrett… Triple H now sends Jarrett in to the corner and is now stomping away at Jeff Jarrett…

Rhino:Triple H is just stomping away at the insides of Jeff Jarrett…

Mark:Triple H now sends him in to the other corner… Triple H runs at him… But Jarrett puts his feet up… Bulldog by Jeff Jarrett… Cover 1……….2……….. Triple H kicks out… Jarrett now picks him up and nails his with a belly to back suplex… Another cover by Jarrett 1…………2……….. Kickout again…

Rhino:Smart move by Jarrett as he making Triple H work alot harder to retain his eWa Television Title…

Mark:Jarrett now with a russian leg sweep… Another cover 1…………2…… Triple H kicks out again… Jarrett now sends Triple H in to the ropes and nails him with a big drop kick… The Chosen One covers Triple H again 1…………2……….. Kickout again by Triple H…

Rhino:Triple H will not stay down…

Mark:Jeff Jarrett is setting Triple H on the turnbuckle… He is hooking him for a superplex… Blocked by Triple H who now suplex’s Jeff Jarrett off the rope…

Rhino:This could be Triple H’s Chance to get back in to the match…

Mark:Triple H now off the turnbuckle and is delivering right hands to Jeff Jarrett… Triple H nails him with a knee smash… Triple H sends him in to the ropes and nails him with a swinging neckbreaker… Triple H now picks him up and nails him with a pulling piledriver…

Rhino:Triple H has taken a big advantage now in this match…

Mark:Triple H now sets Jeff Jarrett up on the top rope and he connects with the superplex…

Rhino:Triple H looks so confident now… He believes this is in the bag and it could be…

Mark:Triple H is now setting him up for the Pedigree… But Jarrett just falls down…

Rhino:All of Jarrett’s energy has been drained… He cant even stand… This is not a good sign…

Mark:Triple H is going for the pedigree again… SMALL PACKAGE 1…………2……….3…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and NEW eWa Television Champion… JEFF JARRETT…

Mark:Jarrett has won the eWa Television Championship…

Rhino:Triple H can not believe it… Jarrett hit the small package and has won the eWa Television Championship…

Mark:Well as Triple H gets over the shock… Lets get to the ring for a very special Tribute Match…

Tribute Match To Jay Mack
Shawn Michaels vs Omega vs Blake Bennit vs Lone Jobber vs The Rock

MARK: This is it. The match that everyone came to see and feel. This match will be never forgotten by those who got to know PS2PheNoM in the Extreme Wrestling Alliance. Tonight, the men in that ring for the Tribute Match will not just be wrestling for the EWA; but for the memory of one of its finest role-players. Tonight, we will have a finale to this night of tribute. The questions is who will it be that’s left standing? Will it be “The HeartBreak Kid” Shawn Michaels or will longtime MackDown foe Lone Jobber remain? Maybe it will be The Rock who will just bring it. Maybe Blake Bennit will finally prove that he is truly better than everyone here. And there’s the perennial favorite, the monster Omega. Which one of these men will stand tall tonight and do the PheNoM proud?

RHINO: I say if they have a chance, jump Omega. If they REALLY want a chance, jump the man. I do favor the big man in this match. He’s been on a huge tear that hasn’t stopped. Tonight, no one is wrestling for the EWA. They fight for a man who had great joy being part of this dysfunctional family. We sure cried tears for this man who left us all too early. Make no mistake, It was as genuine as it could possibly get when we remembered him and that’s the damn truth. There was something special about the PheNoM. He didn’t have the length of life on Earth that is blessed on most in life but for the short time he was here, he made a major difference in the ring. I wonder who PheNoM would’ve like to win this one? He had history with every single man that’s gonna step in that ring tonight. I think he’d just be honored of the events that are going down tonight. All six men have done tremendous things in their careers but it’s nights like these that eclipse anything they’ve ever done in their careers. Look for all of the men in that ring to be absolutely on their game. The problem with this match is that it will most likely come down to HBK, Jobber, and Omega. Rock and Bennit have not been focused as of late. I’ve taken way too much time up. Let’s get the match going and have these men do the PheNoM proud.

MARK: Well, we are about to start this match here and….

(Marilyn Manson’s “Beautiful People” begins to play out of the P.A. System)

MARK: I have no clue as to what is going on. This isn’t on the format here.

RHINO: We have a format?

MARK: Yes, we do Rhino. I have no idea what’s going to happen next. That’s MackDown’s intro playing and I believe this is in tribute to the PheNoM.

RHINO: It’s hard looking at that but we will never forget. We’ve got company!

MARK: We’ve got very popular company! This crowd has exploded!

RHINO: It’s the family of PS2PheNom! They are coming down here followed by all the EWA wrestlers and this is what it’s all about!

MARK: That’s Jeremy Mack coming down to the ring. The fans aren’t cheering for him. They’re exploding for him, Sarah, and the entire family! They’re cheering for Jeremy, Sarah, his dad, his mom, and the rest of the family.

RHINO: One love! I can’t believe it myself! I mean I can feel this building shaking. Unbelievable. For all intended purposes, this is more than well deserved.

MARK: And would you listen to the reception both the mother and the father are getting?

RHINO: I wouldn’t expect anything less. This is for PS2PheNom and those wonderful people have lost something dear to us so they’re gonna get mad love ’cause we’re gonna show it big time here.

MARK: These blood relatives, with the exception of Sarah have come down to pay their respects to lost friend PS2PheNoM and watch those tonight chosen for this match wrestle in his honor and memory. They have been long time friends to us in this business and they always will be. There’s no doubt that you can almost feel that he’s here to see this go down.

RHINO: The crowd has gone dead silent almost. Everyone has literally dropped their heads here in the EWA. A memorial of sorts being displayed on Hardcore Theater. Let’s take this moment to observe a moment of silence in memory of PS2PheNoM. (The bell rings ten times as everyone pays respect) He will never how much he meant to the EWA but he was a part of this federation known as the Extreme Wrestling Alliance. The family, now sitting at ringside to witness this tribute match. Not only is this a need to be done, it’s going to be done and you can almost feel him here with us. Man, talk about the EWA coming out the wood work!

MARK: All the people that PS2PheNoM has been associated with have come down to see these five men wrestle tonight. All of them are here. Now all that remains is that for this match to get started.

RHINO: There are rumors flying Omega has guaranteed a surprise here tonight that no one including Purgatory knows about and I would be careful because whenever he says something so unusual, everyone will be surprised. What’s it gonna be?

MARK: We’ve got no idea but we got our athletes waiting to come down here to participate and take part of this match. They are ready to go and would you look at that family reunion of PS2PheNoM’s relatives?

RHINO: Backstage, the guys are close friends and do most things together whenever possible.

MARK: It’s time to start things off here.

(“Smell” kicks up over the P.A. System)

RHINO: Can you smell it, jabroni?

MARK: It’s time to start this match. The match for memory of the PheNoM in the EWA. The Rock enters the arena and it’s pretty safe to say this crowd is heavy on this man’s side.

RHINO: The Rock comes down to the same WWF gimmick, music, and intro and I’m kinda surprised that he’s coming out here like this. Can you imagine what the surprise is?

MARK: It’s something that will shake the foundation of the EWA and all of its employees. That’s for sure. The Rock, standing on the turnbuckles in the ring in perhaps the biggest match of his career. Getting cheers from the crowd here but not as loud as what we heard earlier. This man is one of the most loved wrestlers here in the EWA.

RHINO: Why does he do that take a sniff thing on the apron every time he comes to fight? I might lose control of my functions one day and he’ll catch wind of what I just cooked.

MARK: Why are you acting stupid? Why don’t you ask him yourself why he smells the people?

RHINO: No thanks.

MARK: The match is ready to start this as we await the arrival of the next opponent.

(A remix of HBK’s “Boy Toy” plays out of the P.A. System)

RHINO: Shawn has new music? No! It’s Blake Bennit! What a slap in the face to Shawn Michaels! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

MARK: The reaction for Blake is mixed to say the least. Some people are cheering him because of the obvious tone he is coming down to and what he’s done as part of Team Better Than You. Some people are booing him because of what he hasn’t done of late and that’s not give the performance we all know he’s capable of. He hasn’t been there for them and as the fans say; pulled a “Lazy Boy” out of his ass. There are a few people who even want him to not be this match. I for one, disagree. He belongs in this match. He belongs in it with everyone else here.

RHINO: I thought he was better than most people. If he can come with it like he used to, then he would be better than everyone. It’s either that or go back to the WCWF and work stuff out.

(“Boy Toy” actually hits this time out of the P.A. System)

MARK: Shawn is coming down with a bit of a serious look on his face. Has he lost his smile again?

RHINO: I hope so. That would mean that he’s gonna leave for a while. As much as I like to tease HBK, I know why he’s a bit serious tonight.

MARK: Yeah. He’s shaking the hands of all the family of PS2PheNoM.

RHINO: I agree. Heartbreak is in no hurry to come into the ring. He gonna sit out here as long as possible and wait for his ego to come down which means we’ll be here forever. If he rushes into this match now, he’ll get jumped by Rock and Blake. Get in there, damn it! Don’t be all face all the sudden! Get your ass in that ring, you coward!

(“The Boaz Philharmonic’s song” blares out of the P.A. system)

MARK: Here comes the lone one. The man known as Lone Jobber! Returning to the ring after a brutal House Of Pain Match with Purgatory.

RHINO: He managed Camera Chaos twice to the Tag Champions. Now he’s back and all the way live. I hope he can get the rust off fast and make it look like he never took time off in that ring.

MARK: I want to see just how healthy he is following the match with the resident psycho. Hell, I just want to see him come down here to the ring where he belongs! He had the biggest feud with Jason Mack in this fed along with some others. He’s the reason why our memories of the PheNoM.

RHINO: Hey. I don’t know about that. I remember a certain man named Purgatory bringing him here to the EWA.

(“If I should die before I wake” by The Notorious B. I. G. starts to play out of the P.A.)

MARK: They’ve started his music here and now he’s making his way to the match. This is the first time in a pay per view that someone’s music started to play and it’s meant something. I know he hasn’t been himself as of late but here comes the 7’5″ 441 pound Omega.

RHINO: Omega finally stood still enough to be measured in height and weight. He’s the most feared man in the EWA today and he’s hell bent on kickin’ some ass here tonight just like all the other nights.

MARK: If you noticed, everyone is wearing something to tribute Jason “PS2PheNoM” Mack tonight. This match almost seems like it shouldn’t happen but it’s going to and all we can do is watch.

RHINO: I’m like you, Mark. Wake me when it’s over because this sure feels like a dream.

MARK: The bell rings and here we go! Everyone is jumping Omega just like you called!

RHINO: Bennit, Jobber, Michaels and Rock are on the big man like white on rice! Don’t let up or it’s your ass!

MARK: They’re all over him but he’s fighting them off!

RHINO: That’s why this man is so scary.

MARK: Oh man! He got kicked in the nuts!

RHINO: It just looked like it pissed him off more!

MARK: Double Chop Block by Bennit and Michaels sends Omega down for a bit.

RHINO: Get on him!

MARK: Now that they got the big man down, they gotta keep on if they don’t want him getting back up.

RHINO: Think of something fast, guys!

MARK: Omega is getting up. SEXY BOY KICK by Blake Bennit! Omega stagers right into some SWEET CHIN MUSIC!

RHINO: It’s all about being jumped!

MARK: Omega’s on wobbly legs now. THE GIMMICK! Omega’s down! Omega’s getting back up?

RHINO: I can’t believe it! This man’s a true monster! Wow!

MARK: The Rock is waiting for him! He’s waiting! ROCK BOTTOM!

RHINO: Omega just hit Rock Bottom and what are they doing now?

MARK: They’ve all got a piece of the big man. Lone Jobber and Blake Bennit have the arms. Rock and HBK have the leg. What are they gonna do? Oh man! They’re stretchin’ him out!

RHINO: Tug Of War with the human body! A submission rarely seen anywhere in wrestling! Omega would have to scream that he gives up which means we will be here for a while.

MARK: Omega is being asked if he wants to give and I think the ref just got his answer!

RHINO: I don’t think “Fuck You!” is and answer, Mark.

MARK: Omega hanging on here. Now what? They’re swinging him. Getting some good height now. Omega over the top rope onto the concrete floor!

RHINO: Now we can see some real fighting!

MARK: All four men hitting each other! The Rock and Bennit battling it out! Shawn Michaels and Lone Jobber fighting! Chaos everywhere!

RHINO: I can’t see the other side of the ring. Oh man! Bennit just punted the People’s Strudel!

MARK: And Lone Jobber is all on Shawn! Irish whip! Reversal! Another reversal into a Russian Leg Sweep! When did Shawn learn to do that?

RHINO: I guess an old dog can learn new tricks.

MARK: Bennit has Rock in the corner. Spider Stretch! The Rock screaming in pain!

RHINO: Remember, this match is submission or pin elimination so if Rock gives, it’s four men left. Uh oh. I thought I just saw some movement on the other side.

MARK: Omega’s back up and he looks real pissed. Shawn Michaels with the Figure Four on Jobber!

RHINO: WWWWOOOO!

MARK: This match just changed pace a little because Omega’s gettin’ the hardware out!

RHINO: Two Ladders only? I think Shawn has got something to do with this.

MARK: He’s coming over here! Are we in trouble?

RHINO: I can’t run too fast! Protect me! Huh? What? I don’t know where they are!

MARK: I don’t know either! Okay! Omega asking us where the real extreme stuff is. I don’t know.

RHINO: Lone Jobber has gone ballistic! Look at him go!

MARK: Dropkick on Bennit! Shawn attempts a clothesline. He ducks. Sleeper. No! Sleeper Drop! Everyone’s down and Lone Jobber is standing tall on the inside!

RHINO: Go, Job, go!

MARK: Lone Jobber building up speed! Corkscrew Plancha on Omega on the outside but he got caught!

RHINO: Big mistake, Job!

MARK: Omega just javelined Jobber head first into the ring post! Jobber has got to be out!

RHINO: I think he is! Jobber just wen limp in the arms of Omega. He didn’t even hold his head. Omega drops Jobber and is clearing the International Announce Table here. Look in the ring!

MARK: Bennit is hooked! ROCK BOTTOM onto the ladder! I think we’re gonna see it. Shades of the Ladder Match between Triple H and The Rock. The most electrifying move in sports entertainment today; THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW!

RHINO: Rock just hit The People’s Elbow on Bennit on the ladder! Oh man! He just got caught!

MARK: Shawn Michaels called it and he hit Sweet Chin Music on The Rock! The Rock is out and Omega is still clearing the table. Shawn is alone in the ring with a very tall ladder and that means trouble.

RHINO: The Rock is down! Jobber is down! Omega is up! Blake is down! Shawn Michaels is setting the ladder up! Shawn Michaels is climbing the big ladder! What’s he gonna do?

MARK: I have no clue. He’s getting up there pretty fast. Omega’s got Lone Jobber laid out on the table. He turns around and sees HBK on the ladder!

RHINO: He’s daring Shawn to come down on him! I can see where this is going and at the same time, I can’t wait to see it!

MARK: Shawn Michaels on the very top of the ladder! He’s going for the elbow! He hit Lone Jobber and the table just flat out exploded!

RHINO: HBK took a big bump! I can’t believe it!

MARK: HBK and Jobber have got to be out! Meanwhile, Bennit has just back dropped Rock right onto the smaller ladder! Look at Bennit copy The Rock! He just told Omega to just bring it!

RHINO: Wrong thing to do, man!

MARK: Omega’s finally back in the ring and Bennit’s goin’ crazy! Punches, kicks, forearms! He whips Omega to the rope! Dropkick! No! Omega just swatted it out of the air like a fly!

RHINO: Get that shit outta here!

MARK: Omega looks real pissed right now! He’s got Bennit by the face! CLAW SLAM!

RHINO: He’s gonna put this match away!

MARK: Omega with the big ladder now. Bennit staggers up and BAM! Right in his head!

RHINO: Bennit is down but Omega didn’t see Rock!

MARK: Rock blindsiding Omega! Right Hand! Right Hand! Rock stalls to taunt him! Right Hand! No! It was caught and Omega kicks him in the gut!

RHINO: What’s he gonna do now?

MARK: Omega with a couple of karate type hits. Irish whip. Omega runs the opposite way. Springboard Elbow a la Tajiri!

RHINO: Damn this guy is quick!

MARK: It’s two against Omega as HBK and Jobber have yet to even move out here. Omega has laid Rock and Bennit onto a ladder. Omega is climbing the big ladder. Let me say that again. OMEGA IS FUCKIN’ CLIMBIN’ THE BIG FUCKIN’ LADDER!

RHINO: If you guys got anything left, move as if your life depended on it!

MARK: Omega is way up there and looks to be signaling for something. The lights just went out! It’s completely dark here!

RHINO: I can’t see a thing!

MARK: Where did that green spotlight come from? It’s shining into the crowd. Someone is coming into the ring.

RHINO: I can’t see but the crowd is sure going crazy. Holy shit. HHOOOOLLLLYYY SHIT! I can’t believe it!

MARK: It’s JEREMY MACK! Jeremy Mack has just come into the ring! Is this the surprise Omega was talk about?

RHINO: It’s got to be! This blows away anything I thought! Jeremy Mack is part of this match!

MARK: He’s not wasting anytime either! He’s got The Rock up! PIMPED OUT! Cover! 1! 2! 3! Rock is eliminated!

RHINO: Omega shouting out instructions from the top of the ladder. Jeremy has Bennit up now. He’s setting him up. MIND PHUCK! Shades of “Sugar” Shane Mack! He goes for the cover! 1! 2! 3! Blake Bennit is eliminated!

MARK: Jeremy on the move. He rolls out here. He’s got HBK and has rolled him into the ring. He goes back for Jobber. He rolls him in there too.

RHINO: I’m still in shock. They say expect the unexpected in the EWA and for this too happen….man. I tell you, when I saw Jeremy Mack hit the ring, I almost pissed in my pants.

MARK: Omega’s not paying attention to the match. He’s turned his back as to what’s going on. I guess he wants Jeremy to have this moment all by himself!

RHINO: There is no one more deserving!

MARK: Jeremy has picked up HBK. What? Was that a ScrewDriver?

RHINO: I’ve heard about that move. It’s the ScrewDriver but since Jeremy did it, it’s the LimeLight Special!

MARK: Cover 1! 2! 3! HBK is eliminated to a ScrewDriver type move called THE LIMELIGHT SPECIAL!

RHINO: It’s down to Omega, Jeremy, and the man who’s had the longest rivalry with Jason in Lone Jobber!

MARK: And how is that for poetic justice? Jeremy setting up Jobber now. There’s only one move left. REAL….DEAL….DRIVER!

RHINO: Jason Mack just bowed from the heavens to his brother!

MARK: Cover! 1! 2! 3! Jobber is eliminated!

RHINO: And that leaves Big O and Jeremy. Jeremy lays the small ladder across the ring. Jeremy runs to the big ladder Omega’s on? Why?

MARK: Omega is still turned around. He sees Jeremy. He doesn’t have time to come down. Jeremy grabs the ladder! Hold on, Omega! GOD DAMN! JEREMY MACK JUST DROVE OMEGA FROM THE TOP OF THAT LADDER ONTO THE SMALL LADDER AND THE FORCE DROVE OMEGA THROUGH THE RING!

RHINO: That’s got to be the biggest powerbomb I’ve ever seen because Jeremy powerbombed the ladder of sorts and now we’ve got a huge hole in the ring filled with Omega and a ladder!

MARK: Look at how that ladder is wrapped around Omega! Jeremy Mack jumps in the hole! Cover! 1! 2! 3! Omega is eliminated and Jeremy Mack wins this match!

ANNOUNCER: Here is your winner; JEREMY MACK!

RHINO: This crowd has exploded like a bomb on the Taliban! The family of Jeremy Mack gettin’ in the ring to celebrate! Here come the EWA athletes! Here comes everyone! It’s like when Wilt Chamberland scored 100 points! See ya later, Mark. I’m gettin’ in there!

MARK: Wait up! This is Mark saying good-bye for now and stay tuned for the next event from the EWA!

(Cameras focus on the picture of all the Mack brothers on HardCore Theater and the cameras fade to black; showing Rest In Peace, MackDown….)

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