Blood Bath 2002 (04-24-02)
Mark:Welcome to the City of Angels… Welcome to Las Vegas, Nevada… And Welcome to eWa Blood Bath… Tonight we have huge matches in store for you… Including a Mall Match…
Rhino:Hey, You forgot to Introduce me… Which of couse I am Rhino… And yeah… We have no idea where they are going to go in that match…
Mark:Also tonight besides the mall match…Is an eWa World Heavyweight Title… Hell in a Cell Match… Between Triple H, Dan Hollywood and Edge…
Rhino:Yeah also you have to remember the X-Factor in the match up… And that of course is Omega…
Mark:Also we will have a Most Blood Match and a Electric Cage… All dealing with eWa Championships in those match ups…
Rhino:Yeah its gonna be a great night…
Mark:Well anyhow… Lets get this show started… As we head to the ring…
D-Dawg vs The Undertaker
Pa Announcer:The Opening match at eWa Blood Bath is set for one fall… Introducing first, From San Francisco, Ca… Weighing in at 200 Pounds… D-DAWG…
(D-Dawg’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Houston, Texas… Weighing in at 320 Pounds… THE UNDERTAKER…
(“Rollin” hits as The Undertaker makes his way to the ring…)
Mark:Here we go… Bell has sounded… D-Dawg goes right after The Undertaker with a drop kick…
Rhino:Smart move to catch the Undertaker off balance…
Mark:D-Dawg now whips The Undertaker in to the ropes… Taker reverses the whip… The Undertaker goes for a big boot…
Rhino:D-Dawg ducks out of the way…
Mark:Drop kick to the knee by D-Dawg… Goes for a quick cover 1………….2…………… The Undertaker kicks out…
Rhino:TO my surprise… D-Dawg is taken it to the legend the Undertaker…
Mark:The Undertaker now with a thumb to the eye of D-Dawg… The Undertaker now sends him off in to the ropes…
Rhino:Looks like its a big boot…
Mark:D-Dawg ducks again… The Undertaker turns around… Ganster Drop… Cover 1……………2……….3……..
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner D-DAWG…
Rhino:D-Dawg picks up a big win… Over a Legend tonight…
Mark:Well Brother… What are you gonna do now… When Hulkamania comes out now…
Hulk Hogan vs Tazz
Pa Announcer:This next match is set for one fall… Introducing first from Tampa, Fl… Weighing in at 280 Pounds… HOLLYWOOD HULK HOGAN…
(“Voodo Child” hits as Hulk Hogan makes his way to the ring…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Brooklyn, New York… Weighing in at 240 Pounds… TAZZ…
(“Survive” hits as Tazz makes his way to the ring…)
Mark:Here we go… Tazz goes for a straight right hand to Hulk Hogan…
Rhino:Hogan goes for a big block…
Mark:Hogan nails Tazz with a huge couple of right hands…
Rhino:The Right hands are knocking Tazz back in to the ropes…
Mark:Tazz now strikes back and the fans didnt like that… Hogan though now gets sent in to the ropes by Tazz…
Rhino:Tazz ducks his head…
Mark:Hogan sees and nails Tazz with a clothesline… Tazz gets back up and nails him again with a clothesline…
Rhino:Hulk Hogan is on fire…
Mark:Hogan now sends Tazz in to the ropes… BIG BOOT by Hogan…
Rhino:LEG DROP LEG DROP LEG DROP…
Mark:Leg Drop is correct and Hogan nails it on Tazz… Cover 1……………………2………………….3……….
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner HULK HOGAN…
Rhino:The Hulkamania tour countinues on here in the eWa…
Mark:Well its time for our first title match… And this is a match that will symbolize this whole event…
eWa Television Title Most Blood Match
Scott Hall(c) vs Justin Credible
Pa Announcer:This next match is a MOST BLOOD MATCH… And is for the eWa Television Championship… Introducing first… The Challenger… From Ozone Park, Ny… Weighing in at 225 Pounds… Representing Degeneration X… JUSTIN CREDIBLE…
(“Snap Your Fingers, Snap your neck” hits as Justin Credible makes his way to the ring…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Miami, Florida… Weighing in at 287 Pounds… Representing the nWo… The eWa Television Champion… SCOTT HALL…
(“nWo” hits as Scott Hall makes his way to the ring…)
Mark:Here we go… Hall and Justin tie up in the center of the ring…
Rhino:Now as usual… Hall just threw the toothpick right in the eye of Justin Credible…
Mark:Justin Credible strikes Hall with a right hand… Scott Hall fires back with one of his own… Scott Hall with another one as he sends him quickly in to the ropes… Justin Credible ducks a clothesline… But now gets caught by Scott Hall who nails him with a fallaway slam…
Rhino:A normal move from Scott Hall… Which is very effective…
Mark:Scott Hall now putting the boots to Justin Credible… Scott Hall goes to scoop up and slam Justin Credible… Justin Credible slides off and sends him in to the ropes… Back body drop by Justin Credible… Scott Hall is back up on his feet… Drop kick by Justin Credible and it sends him to the outside…
Rhino:Justin Credible goes to the outside with him…
Mark:Justin Credible now slams Scott Hall face first in to the steel steps…
Rhino:Justin Credible is reaching under the ring for something…
Mark:I wonder what it could be Rhino…
Rhino:Hes got his Cane…
Mark:Justin Credible throws Scott Hall back in to the ring… Justin Credible rolls back in the ring himself…
Rhino:Justin Credible has some plans in mind for one Scott Hall…
Mark:Justin Credible goes to strike Scott Hall… Hall though with a quick shot to the gut…
Rhino:Scott Hall now has the cane Mark…
Mark:Justin Credible ducks… Grabs the Cane and nails him right in the head… A few shots right to the head of the Outsider…
Rhino:Justin Credible is busting open Scott Hall…
Mark:Justin Credible just went to the outside again…
Rhino:What toy does he have under the ring…
Mark:He has got a board with barbed wire… He now brings it back in to the ring… Justin Credible sends him in to the ropes… Superkick…
Rhino:The blood is dripping from the head of Scott Hall…
Mark:Justin Credible says thats it… As he now scoops him up… And hits THATS INCREDIBLE on the barbed wire…
Rhino:The blood continues to flow from the head…
Mark:Justin Credible now scoops him up… And does it again…
Rhino:The Ref stops the match…
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and NEW eWa Television Champion… JUSTIN CREDIBLE…
Rhino:DX brings home a piece of gold… Thanks to Justin Credible…
Mark:It is not time for some one to be buried alive… Lets get to the ring…
Buried Alive Match
Jay Mack vs Demon Child
Pa Announcer:This next match is a BURIED ALIVE MATCH… Introducing first… From Kennewick, Wa… Weighing in at 189 Pounds… DEMON CHILD…
(Demon’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Miami, Fl… Weighing in at 274 Pounds… Representing the Triad… The Real Deal… JAY MACK…
(Jay’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)
Mark:Jay goes right after Demon Child…
Rhino:Demon Child is trying to run away from Jay…
Mark:Demon Child ducks a clothesline attempt by Jay Mack… Demon goes for a right hand… And he connects on to Jay Mack…
Rhino:That didnt affect Jay Mack at all…
Mark:Jay Mack now grabs Demon Child by the hair and now just throws him down hard on to the canvas… Jay Mack now drops a big leg as Demon Child was trying to get up on his feet…
Rhino:Thats gonna leave a little bit of ringing in the ears of Demon Child…
Mark:Jay Mack sends him in to the corner now and just delivering shots to the rib area… Of Demon Child… Jay Mack now grabs him and connects with a suplex on to Demon Child…
Rhino:Jay Mack is just taking Demon Child out very slowly…
Mark:Jay Mack now grabs Demon Child and sends him straight over the top rope…
Rhino:Demon Child hit the ground hard…
Mark:Jay Mack is dragging him back up near the grave area… Jay scoops him up and slams him on the dirt…
Rhino:Jay Mack has grabbed a shovel…
Mark:Jay swings… Demon moves out of the way…
Rhino:He really wanted to take Demon Child head off…
Mark:Demon Child with a quick low blow to Jay Mack…
Rhino:Demon has to take an advantage of the situation now…
Mark:Demon Child now clothesline Jay down hard on to the canvas… Demon Child is climbing up the hill and goes for an elbow drop… Jay Mack moves out of the way…
Rhino:Jay is now going back on the offensive…
Mark:Jay Mack now suplexs on to the hill… Jay is not wasting any time… As he now grabs Demon Child and is dragging him up the hill…
Rhino:What is he going to do now…
Mark:Jay scoops him up… REAL DEAL DRIVER in to the plot area…
Rhino:Good God oh mighty… Demon Child is down and out…
Mark:Demon Child is now getting buried by Jay Mack… The Ref has called for the bell.. This match is over…
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner… JAY MACK…
(Seen above in her luxuary box, Sara is shown with a smile on her face…)
Rhino:Jay has buried Demon Child… Hopefully he stays there…
Mark:Well lets…
(“No Chance” plays on the Pa System as Shane McMahon walks out on to the stage…)
Rhino:What is he doing out there now…
Shane:Excuse me for a second… Excuse me… Right now I need the following to happen… Undertaker… Kane… Jack Hunter… GET YOUR ASSES IN TO MY RING…
(“eWa” Plays as those three men walk towards the ring as Shane stays out on the stage…)
Rhino:Why are these men out here in the ring…
Mark:I have no idea what Shane is up to…
Shane:Well you see the reason why I have called you three out in to this ring… Is because I have an announcement to make…
Rhino:What Announcement?
Shane:You three as of this moment are FIR…
Mark:The lights are out in the arena… I guess Shane’s Mic has been killed as well…
(Lights come back on)
Rhino:VERTIGO, PURGATORY AND SID… ARE Standing over Taker, Kane and Jack Hunter…
Mark:What in the hell is going on…
(Lights go off and then come back on…)
Shane:Like I said… YOU THREE ARE FIRED…
Rhino:Were we just seeing things or something…
Mark:Im not sure… But those three men were just fired from the eWa… Lets head out to the mall now…
eWa X Championship Mall Match
Rob Van Dam(c) vs Justin Sane vs Kevin Nash vs “Extreme Icon” JRB
Mark:Well our cameras are out in the Bouelvard Mall here in Las Vegas…
Rhino:Yeah well this match will get quite interesting…
Mark:There is Justin Sane coming out of a book store…
Rhino:Out of a book store…
Mark:Yes out of a book store… The Extreme Icon jumps out from behind on him as he was sitting there on a bench… JRB now just hammering in on Justin Sane… And is just nailing him with straight right hands…
Rhino:This will not be a wrestling match at all… Plain and Simple…
Mark:JRB now rams him right in to the wall…
Rhino:Its Rob Van Dam… RVD is just sitting there by the plant store…
Mark:RVD now hits JRB with a spin kick as JRB did not see him at all… Boots to the ribs by RVD as he is just stomping at the Extreme Icon…
Rhino:RVD now walks in to the plant store…
Mark:RVD has the flower pot and cracks it over the head of JRB…
Rhino:Still no Kevin Nash in site yet…
Mark:RVD now is dragging JRB across the floor…
Rhino:RVD is taking huge control…
Mark:Justin Sane now is running up towards RVD… Big Kick by RVD… And Down went Justin Sane hard to the ground…
Rhino:RVD is now walking over to the food court area…
Mark:RVD now walks over to someone sitting at the food court…
Rhino:Its Bill Alfonso…
Mark:Fonzy now holds up a tray… RVD with a big drop kick right to the head of the Extreme Icon…
Rhino:NASH…
Mark:Nash grabs RVD… And Throws him right across on to a table… Nash is now just pounding right away at RVD…
Rhino:The Extreme Icon now cracks Nash in the back of the head with a tray…
Mark:Justin Sane is catching back up to them… The Extreme Icon kicks him in the gut… Grabs a chair and breaks it over Justin Sanes back… JRB grabs another Chair… Nash blocks the Shot…And Nash throws JRB right in to another table…
Rhino:Nash is now looking for RVD… And RVD is no where to be found…
Mark:Nash is now walking out of the food court area and is heading towards the Modells Sporting Goods Store… RVD comes out of no where and nails Nash right in the stomach with a golf club… RVD with forearms now and is just kicking Nash…
Rhino:Fonzy just handed RVD a Tennis Racket…
Mark:Right in the head of the big seven footer goes the Tennis Racket… RVD now with tennis balls… And throws them at The Extreme Icon who was heading up towards the store…
Rhino:RVD grabs a baseball bat…
Mark:RVD swings at Nash… Nash ducks… And nails him with a straight big boot… And has took his head off… Nash is walking over towards the work out equipment…
Rhino:Fonzy just jumped on the back of Nash…
Mark:RVD drops a dumb bell on the foot of Nash… And nails him with a spin kick…
Rhino:The Extreme Icon just threw a football right at the chest of RVD…
Mark:Thats stunned RVD… And Now the Extreme Icon DDT’s him on the floor… The Extreme Icon is walking out of Modells and is taking RVD with him… RVD with a punch to the gut and rams his head in to the wall…
Rhino:RVD now heads in to a music store now…
Mark:RVD grabs The Extreme Icon and puts headphones on him…
Rhino:He just blasts him with some loud music… Seems like some country from what I hear…
Mark:I like Country…
Rhino:Thats shocking…
Mark:RVD now grabs JRB and drags him outside of the store… Nash comes charging with a boot… RVD throws JRB towards Nash and JRB gets nailed…
Rhino:Smart move by RVD…
Mark:RVD now sweeps the legs out of Nash…
Rhino:RVD puts the bench on top of Nash…
Mark:Cover 1…………..2……………….3…….. RVD with the cover and keeps his gold…
Rhino:That was a strange match…
Mark:Well its time for the electric cage to be dropped here in the arena… So lets head to the ring…
eWa Championship Electric Cage Match
Dragon(c) vs Shawn Michaels vs Lone Jobber
Pa Announcer:This next match is set for one fall and is an ELECTRIC CAGE MATCH… And is also for the eWa Championship… Introducing first the challengers… First from San Antonio, Texas… Weighing in at 227 Pounds… Representing Degeneration X… The Heartbreak Kid… SHAWN MICHAELS…
(“boy toy” hits as Shawn Michaels makes his way to the ring…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From The Slaughter House… Weighing in at 198 Pounds… LONE JOBBER…
(Jobber’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)
Pa Announcer:And their opponent… From Denver, Colorado… Weighing in at 333 Pounds… Representing the Triad… One half of the eWa Tag Team Champions and he is the eWa Champion… DRAGON…
(Dragon’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)
Mark:Well the cage has now been turned on… And now this Triple Threat is about to begin…
Rhino:Lone Jobber and Shawn Michaels both looking at one another and now also looking at Dragon…
Mark:Michaels and Jobber nail Dragon with a drop kick…
Rhino:I never thought I would ever see DX and Lone Jobber team up on someone…
Mark:Michaels and Jobber now send him straight in to the cage… Dragon bounces off and gets nailed with a double clothesline…
Rhino:This is completly strange…
Mark:Michaels now clotheslines Lone Jobber down to the canvas…
Rhino:I saw that one coming… Either Jobber would do it… Or Michaels would…
Mark:Michaels now putting the boots to Lone Jobber…
Rhino:Michaels now posing for the crowd… And he has nothing to pose about…
Mark:Dragon now from behind clocking Michaels now with right hands… Dragon with a big right hand and down goes Michaels… Michaels back up to his feet… Dragon now catches him and nails him with a belly to belly suplex…
Rhino:One order of New Ribs for HBK…
Mark:Dragon now picks up the Heartbreak Kid and throws him right in to the steel cage…
Rhino:That sent a shock to Michaels system…
Mark:Dragon now picks him back up… And delivers a powerslam… Cover 1………………2………… 450 LEG DROP by Lone Jobber…
Rhino:What a move to break up the pin…
Mark:Lone Jobber now covers Michaels 1……………………………2……………. Dragon pulls Lone Jobber off… Lone Jobber now ducks a clothesline attempt… Stinging left jabs… By Lone Jobber… Lone Jobber now goes for an enziguri kick and connects on to Dragon…
Rhino:Dragon is still on his feet…
Mark:Lone Jobber quickly to the top rope… Goes for hurricanranna… Caught by Dragon who nails him with a sitdown powerbomb… Cover 1……………….2…………. Michaels with a kick to the back of the head of Dragon… Michaels flips over and nails him with a neckbreaker…
Rhino:Nice move by Michaels…
Mark:Michaels now covers Dragon 1…………….2………….. Kickout by Dragon… Michaels now hooking Lone Jobber and delivers a suplex… Cover by Michaels 1………………………2………….. Kickout…
Rhino:Michaels just backed up in to Dragon…
Mark:Not a good sign… And Dragon now nails him The Boiling Point…
Rhino:It could be all over now…
Mark:Cover 1…………………………..2…………….Lone Jobber breaks it up…
Rhino:The Boiling Point is a chokeslam backbreaker… One of the new moves by Dragon…
Mark:Dragon now though fights off the attack by Lone Jobber… He is sending Lone Jobber in to the cage… Jobber bounces off… Turns him around… And nails him FLYING DRAGON…
Rhino:Another new finishing type move by Dragon…
Mark:Another cover 1…………2……………. Lone Jobber kicks out of it…
Rhino:Dragon is in control of this match up now…
Mark:SWEET CHIN MUSIC… Out of know where Michaels comes up and hits the move… Cover 1………………2………………….. Lone Jobber breaks it up…
Rhino:That was a close one…
Mark:Lone Jobber though now spins Michaels around… THE GIMMICK… He is out…
Rhino:Hes not covering Michaels though… Thats kind of strange…
Mark:Lone Jobber is climbing the cage…
Rhino:He is taking all of the electricity right in to his body…
Mark:450 Splash on to Dragon… Cover 1…………………….2…………………….. NO he kicked out…
Rhino:WOW… I dont believe it…
Mark:Lone Jobber picks him up and sends him in to the ropes… Dragon reverses… Kick to the gut by Dragon… MYSTICAL KNIGHT…
Rhino:What a move by Dragon…
Mark:Cover 1………………2………………3…..
Pa Announcer:Here your winner and STILL eWa Champion… DRAGON…
Rhino:Great Match… And Dragon was able to retain his title…
eWa World Heavyweight Title Hell in a Cell Match
Triple H(c) vs Dan Hollywood vs Edge
Mark: It’s main event time for Blood Bath and I gotta say this card has truly lived up to its name.
Rhino: If Gangrel was real, he’d get turned on by the bloodshed here. Just look at the ring. Didn’t it used to be blue?
Mark: The ring and the surroundings in general have blood stains everywhere. There’s not a place you can look and see a distorted red spot of blood.
Rhino: It’s just about everywhere and it’s all from the wrestlers who have paid the price here tonight.
(“Number One” by Nelly starts to play in the arena)
Mark: And here we go. We’re not wasting time here. Dan “The Man” Hollywood on his way to the ring ready for the biggest shot he’s ever gotten here in the EWA.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen….It is time for the Triple Threat Main Event for the EWA World Heavyweight Championship! This event will be a Hell In The Cell Match! And now introducing the first contestant….from Hollywood, California….Weighing 229 pounds….DAN “THE MAN” HOLLYWOOD!
Rhino: Dan Hollywood has been “The Man” before. He was a former WCWF World Heavyweight Champion. That was then. This is now. You got a lot of people who argue just what is reaching the top. This federation has been around for years. Make no mistake about it. This is the top.
Mark: Dan’s in the ring right now. Lookin’ pumped. Lookin’ ready. Lookin’ like he’s gonna get it done tonight.
Rhino: He better be. It’s gut check time. Now or never. The big shot. He’s gotta either try and get it done or fail miserably. You know I head this guy had a big time party with some Vegas Showgirls just before the show here tonight. Hope it don’t affect him.
(“Never Gonna Stop” by Rob Zombie starts to play in the arena)
Mark: And here comes he biggest EdgeHead of ’em all.
Announcer: Now entering the arena….being accompanied to the ring by Torrie Wilson….from Toronto, Ontario, Canada….weighing 240 pounds….EDGE!
Rhino: There’s no mistaking that Edge right now is in the breakout time of his career. He just came from the WWF where he was lightning hot and even though he lost, had more than an impressive outing against Shawn Michaels. He’s got his big push now and as it stands, he’s got one of the finest women in wrestling coming down to the ring with him. All in all, not bad.
Mark: Just recently, Edge and Torrie were shown from their gym with a new friend. Tommy Dreamer has come to the EWA. He has formed a team with Edge called “Sex N’ Violence” and it could mean trouble for the tag teams here in the EWA.
Rhino: You know what’s funny? The tag division picked up as soon as Shawn Michaels and Triple H lost the gold. This proves that no gold should belong to DX. Especially Hunter. They just make the belts look suckie as hell.
Mark: Why do you hate Triple H so much?
Rhino: Because that one-legged Pinocchio doll ain’t shit, that’s why. I’m not like you. I’m not a “Mark” for everybody.
Mark: Well, we’re gonna take a look at how this match came to be. Let’s look at how this has all shaped up.
(A short vignette is shown from Triple H winning the EWA World Heavyweight Champion to the naming of the match and it’s referee. A quick flash of pure Omega destruction is shown with the ending of the video showing the times when the men have suffered in the EWA with a quick zoom of the cage and an end shot of Omega)
Rhino: Man, I can’t wait. Omega says he’s personally gonna bring extreme into this match tonight. I wonder what’s gonna happen?
(The remix of “The Greatest Of All Time” starts to play in the arena)
Mark: Here comes the baddest zebra on the planet.
Announcer: And now entering the arena….weighing 411 pounds….From Parts Unknown….the special guest referee for tonight’s main event….OMEGA!
Rhino: For years, referees have been pushed around and just nearly helpless in there. The only real referee to this day to do anything about it is Danny Davis. Now we got this big bastard coming to the ring and stepping over the ropes like they’re nothin’. I DARE somebody to push him around.
Mark: Talk about the ultimate in enforcement. You don’t get much bigger than that.
Rhino: I hope the promise of a new champion is kept tonight. The Game sucks!
(“B-b-break it down” shortly plays in the arena then it’s followed up by “The Game” by Drowning Pool)
Mark: Here comes the EWA World Heavyweight Champion!
Rhino: BOO, DAMN IT! BOO!
Announcer: And now introducing the final contestant….From Greenwich, Connecticut….weighing 246 pounds….he is the current EWA World Heavyweight Champion….The Game….TRIPLE H!
Mark: Triple H marching to the ring with that cold look of confidence he has every time he comes down. Triple H hasn’t done much promo-wise concerning this match but that’s of his own doing. Guess he didn’t really have nothing to say tonight.
Rhino: It’s real hard to comment on how this match is gonna go. Seems like no one had any real interest in this at all. As professionals, you’re not supposed to get nervous for something like this. Professionals like Dan and Edge are supposed to be able to perform at this level no problem. They blew it. A politician like Hunter is supposed to weasel his way around Parks to avoid matches like this. Yet, he’s in there. In the EWA, you see things almost every card that stand out. You see Triple H do that water things as he steps into the ring onto the ropes and spreads his arms with the gold around his waist and think yeah, the guy isn’t nervous. That’s the poker face they use. You see Dan there standing in the corner ready to go. You see Edge squatted down in the corner in a spear position. None of these guys look nervous, right? You tell me.
Mark: The Game gets down from the ropes and runs right into a seven foot plus maniac.
Rhino: Man, Triple H is tryin’ to look hard but how do you do that with somebody like Omega? I mean….people, come see this man in real life. You think Paul Wight is a big guy? You don’t get an idea of what big is until you look at the sheer size and chiseled physique of Omega. I mean Hunter is a huge jackass but he looks like Demon Child compared to Omega.
Mark: Triple H hands him the title as Omega shows Edge and Dan as they nod and realize what’s on the line here.
Rhino: You tell me, Mark. We’re sitting here, calling this, and we see the Hell Of The Cell coming down. I was talkin’ about how the guys being nervous. You got that animal as a referee and you got that prison of pain all around you. You tell me. How could you not be nervous?
Mark: Omega calls for the bell and here we….aw man! Omega just cold clocked Dan Hollywood!
Rhino: Man, Dan just got a free ride to What The Fuck Was That Land where Omega is the ruler! Hollywood is down!
Mark: Look at Hunter pointing and laughing. Half of his work is done. Dan is down in the corner trying to cover up those massive boots coming down on him.
Rhino: Looks like a one-man zebra stampede. SPEAR! Triple H turns around and gets the spear! Edge has the cover! One! Two! Three! Three, damn it! Omega, turn around!
Mark: Omega turns around and makes the count! One! Two! No! Triple H kicks out!
Rhino: Wasn’t that count a bit quick?
Mark: I believe so.
Rhino: Count faster, Omega!
Mark: Edge showing a little frustration. He picks up Hunter. Rights, lefts, and forearms backing Hunter into the corner. Omega leaves them be and goes back to working on Dan. Dan gets back up and is fighting Omega with everything he’s got! Omega grabs him by the neck and gives him a huge right hand in the face! Another shot and Omega tosses him by the neck to the outside. Edge is still working over Hunter in the corner but now Triple H is fighting back! He’s backing him up!
Rhino: Damn it, no!
Mark: Triple H backing up Edge with right hands! Triple H wails off. Edge ducks. Triple H oversteps. DOWNWARD SPIRAL!
Rhino: Edge going for the finisher circle here. He’s got another cover on Hunter but Omega is out of position!
Mark: So is Dan Hollywood’s spine because Omega just sent him through that locked cell door! The cell is open. This match may soon be fought at its top. Omega slides into the ring and to a count position. One! Two! No!
Rhino: That’s TWICE Edge had the belt won with Omega out of position. He looks pissed! All of his complaints are falling on deaf ears because when it comes right down to it, Omega doesn’t care about anybody in that ring.
Mark: Omega heading back to the outside for Dan. Dan is making his way up the cage. DAN HOLLYWOOD IS CLIMBING THE CAGE and this match has got a lot more interesting! Edge turning around to take a look. He goes back to Hunter. Irish Whip. Reversal. High knee catches Edge right in the chin and Edge is down!
Rhino: Damn it. Hunter’s on the offensive now.
Mark: Hunter is still suffering from the Downward Spiral and is even feeling that Spear earlier. Hunter putting the boots to Edge. Dan is on top of the cage trying to recover from the beating Omega has given him but here comes The Essence Of EWA Attitude up to follow. Dan doesn’t see him. Dan getting back up and Omega boots him right in the back of the head!
Rhino: Hey Mark, there’s a match in the ring, too.
Mark: I’m sorry. I apologize to you and the fans here. It’s just that when you got two guys fighting on the top of the cage, it’s hard to pay attention to what’s goin’ on in the ring.
Rhino: It’s no biggie. Hunter just superplexed the hell out of Edge. It’s been all Hunter since you looked at the top. You made me pay attention to Hunter you bastard.
Mark: So what has Hunter done?
Rhino: Man, you sure zoned out. While Omega punted Dan’s head into the Nevada desert somewhere, Hunter slammed, stomped, and punched the crap outta Edge for a good two or three minutes here. Why is Edge letting this happen? Hunter sucks, man!
Mark: Hunter continuing to pummel Edge here. Hunter going for a suplex. Omega continues to pummel Dan high above the cage. The suplex is blocked. Hunter tries again. Another block. Hunter gets him up this time. Edge flinging his legs for all he’s got. It’s reversed! No! EDGECUTION! Edge just reversed Hunter’s attempted suplex right into the Edgecution and Hunter is down and out!
Rhino: Edge may as well forget about getting a three count because the big bad zebra that’s supposed to count it is on top of the cage and lookie, lookie!
Mark: Omega has Dan up in a Gorilla Press!
Rhino: He’s got that 230 up like it’s nothing!
Mark: I think Dan’s gonna fly here!
Rhino: Incoming!
(For a few minutes, there’s no commentating. Edge is looking frustrated and concerned at the same time. Dan Hollywood was sent from a gorilla press slam position on top of the cell to the international announce table. Chants of “Holy Shit” are heard before Mark and Rhino make their comments again.)
Mark: I completely agree with the crowd here.
Rhino: Thou who embarrass the EWA with no show, pay the price that is Omega.
Mark: Edge is frustrated beyond belief. He’s basically in his view won this title three times over. Triple H is hunched over in the corner. Edge preparing for the spear.
Rhino: Where’d that sledgehammer come from? Don’t do it, Edge!
Mark: Too late! Edge charges in with the spear and catches a head full of sledgehammer!
Rhino: Damn it!
Mark: Edge is out colder than a Canadian winter. Triple H caught some of the spear but not all of it. Omega making his way down the cage. He either didn’t see the hammer shot or didn’t care.
Rhino: Would you look at this? Edge is completely out and Hunter is hooking the Pedigree on him.
Mark: Edge is unconscious and can’t fight back. PEDIGREE. A Pedigree as the final touches on Edge. Omega is back in the ring. Triple H makes the cover! One! Two! Three! This things over!
Rhino: He could’ve counted to a million.
Announcer: Here is your winner and still EWA World Heavyweight Champion, The Game….TRIPLE H!
Mark: Looks like Omega didn’t keep his word about a new champion tonight.
Rhino: This sucks. Look at Triple H demand Omega to raise his hand.
Mark: Omega takes the wrist of Triple H and….knees him right in the ribs!
Rhino: Omega raised Triple H’s arm all right. He raised it just enough to get a good knee shot in his side! I love it!
Mark: Triple H gasping for air. Coughing up a little blood in the ring.
Rhino: You can’t see his blood like you can see the blood of Edge and Dan.
Mark: Omega waiting for Triple H to get up.
Rhino: I bet he’s wishing he had that sledgehammer by now.
Mark: Triple H drags himself up. Omega’s got him by the face!
Rhino: Time to fly, bitch!
Mark: CLAW SLAM! Omega nails the Claw Slam and Hunter is down!
Rhino: Did I mention I’m like Omega’s biggest fan right now?
Mark: Omega is exiting the cage. He grabs the EWA World Heavyweight Title. Is he gonna leave the match with the belt? Is this what he meant by there being a new champion tonight?
Rhino: I don’t think so. He’s getting back in the ring with it.
Mark: Omega is in the ring with the World Title and….what the hell? what the hell is he doing?
Rhino: Is he….did he….did he just wipe his ass with the EWA World Heavyweight Championship?
Mark: Looks like he took part of the belt and literally wiped his ass with it.
Rhino: I wonder if that’s the smelly part he laid on Hunter’s face?
Omega(distant): For as long as I allow it, you piece of shit. For as long as I allow it.
Rhino: Did you hear that, Mark?
Mark: I heard it, Rhino. The nightmare is back. Our next card is going to have “Lone Jobber” written all over it but as of Blood Bath, we’re out of time. So long everybody!
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