Mark:Welcome everyone to South Bend… Welcome to GLORY… This is our biggest event of the year and we thank everyone for tuning it to what should be one hell of a night…
Rhino:This bowtie is bothering me…
Mark:Suck it up and just get ready for one hell of a night as we present Two Big Main Event Matches…
Rhino:These two matches should be awesome…
Mark:Our first main event is the Slaughter House between William “Psyko Boy” McConnell and Lone Jobber…
Rhino:These two have the history in the eWa and this one should be something special…
Mark:And also here tonight we will see Shawn Michaels defend the eWa World Heavyweight Championship against Big Daddy Ace inside the Triple Tier Cage…
Rhino:Usually its just for the Extreme Bowl… But tonight it is here for those to fight in…
Mark:Purgatory will be the referee in that match so who knows what will happen… We have so much to get to… So lets not waste anymore time… Lets get to our first match…
Fighting Irish Match
Leo Jeltsin vs Frank Saint
Pa Announcer:Tonights Opening Contest is a FIGHTING IRISH MATCH… Introducing first… From Moscow, Russia… Weighing in at pounds… LEO JELTSIN…
(The Russian National Anthem Plays as Leo Jeltsin enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent…
Mark:Frank Saint has just jumped Leo Jeltsin at the entrance ramp…
Rhino:Frank Saint is out to prove a point right now…
Mark:Frank Saint hooks up Leo Jeltsin from behind… Reverse DDT by Frank Saint driving Leo Jeltsin’s head in to the steel ramp…
Rhino:Frank Saint is dragging Leo Jeltsin towards the goal post…
Mark:Leo Jeltsin with a couple of right hands to Frank Saint getting some seperation between the two of them…
Rhino:Leo is now trying to hook up Frank Saint up for some sort of Suplex…
Mark:Frank Saint counters out of the suplex and now nails Leo Jeltsin with a swinging neckbreaker…
Rhino:Frank Saint is bringing Leo Jeltsin up the goal post…
Mark:Frank Saint is hooking up Leo Jeltsin… THE GREAT SIN! IN TO THE TUB OF WHISKY! THIS ONE IS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner FRANK SAINT…
Rhino:Frank Saint sent a message to the eWa that he really means business…
Mark:Yes he did… And right now we have more action to get to…
London Bridge is Falling Down
Raven Vs Demon Child
Written by Lone Jobber
PA Announcer: The Next match is a London Bridge is Falling Down match where the loser will be forced to join monthly. The matches shall take place on the scaffold near the Hardcore Theature above that the pit of glass. Each three minutes the scaffold will lower to a random level and return back to it’s normal height. The winner of the match is the first man to force his opponent off of the scaffolding.
Mark: Since when was a glass pit involved?
Rhino: It’s new, how cares.
PA Announcer: Introducing first, from Seattle Washington, he is Demon Child…
(“Devil without a Cause” begins to play over the sound system)
Mark: And here comes demon Child, climbing down the chain ladder to
Rhino: The Child looks pumps Mark.
PA Announcer: And his opponent, from the Bowery, he is Raven…
(“Nevermore” begins to play over the sound system)
Mark: And security bringing Raven out.
Rhino: It’s just me, but it seems he’s just going along with the flow, he’s not really even showing any motivation to be in this match..
Mark: He’s just standing there, and that guard sent him down.
Rhino: Raven hits the scaffold and the match is on it’s way.
Mark: Demon walking over to Raven and he’s just talking trash to him. Raven doesn’t seem to be any interested. He’s, he’s turned his back on Demon.
Rhino: I don’t care how you view things, you don’t turn your back on someone for no reason.
Mark: And Demon runs up and slams Raven on the back. Raven down to a knee and Demon still yelling at him to stand up.
Rhino: Now Demon is being the fool and letting Raven get back up. He should be all over him.
Mark: Raven turning around and pulls his hair away from his face.
Rhino: A blank stare from him.
Mark: He’s ignoring Demon and he’s pissed. Demon coming and he’s just going berserk on him. Rights and lefts. And now raven getting into it. Trading blows.
Rhino: It seems like all it took was a little brutality to get Raven into the swing of things.
Mark: Demon now with a knee to the gut, and again, and for a third time. Trying to make it four and no…
Rhino: Raven used that split second opening and tackled Demon.
Mark: Mounted punches from Raven but Demon chops him across the throat.
Rhino: Most men will cover themselves up, Demon did the right thing there, get him off so you don’t get damage.
Mark: Demon getting back up and starts stomping Raven.
Rhino: Some men are known for their classic matches with ladders, some with cages. Demon is known around the world as the guy who, willingly or not, puts his job on the line a lot. This sort of situation isn’t new to him.
Mark: Say what you will about Demon, but his constant tries to rejoin the eWa really show a great conviction to his federation, more so than many others at least.
Rhino: Back to the action as Demon picks up and slam Raven to the ground.
Mark: And a few elbow drops to Raven. Demon picking him back up and slams him down yet again.
Rhino: He sure is stepping it another notch tonight.
Mark: Demon getting Raven back to a vertical base, and a kick to the gut from Raven, he’s got Demon hooked in.
Rhino: Could it be the Evenflow?
Mark: Demon jumping into a ball?
Rhino: Holy crap the scaffolding just fell 6 feet.
Mark: And Raven just goes crashing down.
Rhino: But look at Demon. Curling into a ball looks like he was able to survive the brunt of the drop.
Mark: And Demon now getting up and dusting himself off, what a show off. And now he’s laying the boots into Raven. He’s picks Raven up and walking dangerously near the edge.
Rhino: It look like he’s waiting for the scaffold to be all the way up so when he sends Raven crashing, it’s going to hurt.
mark: That may be. And we’re back up and it looks like it’s dawning on Raven just what might be happening.
Rhino: Back to the clubbing?
Mark: And Raven pushes Demon, Demon going, going and he’s over.
Rhino: Raven turning hi.. what the?
Mark: Demon grabbed the cable holding the scaffold up and swung around. Raven has his back turned to him. Raven turning around, Demon springing forward.. Heart Stopper.
Rhino: And it seems the Raven can’t fly.
Mark: And Raven lands onto that pile of glass. How sad.
PA Announcer: The winner of this match, Demon Child.
Rhino: And look at Demon. Is it just me or is he singing the “Hey Hey Hey Good By” song?
Mark: That he is.
(When I’m Gone begins to play as Crazed Maniac comes out)
Rhino: What is a monthly guy doing here?
Mark: Well he’s laughing at raven right now. And now he’s helping him up…
Rhino: Russian leg sweep, damn that has to hurt.
Mark: And Crazed starts to drag Raven away. Look at the blood smear. Looks like Crazed is bringing Raven right to monthly as we now get set for more action.
Barbed Wire TLCC Match
Christian vs Subway
Written by NexSubman
Pa Announcer:This next contest is a Barbed Wire TLCC Match… Introducing first… From Toronto, Canada… Weighing in at 215 Pounds… CHRISTIAN…
(“Just Close Your Eyes” plays as Christian enters the arena…)
Mark: Christian making his way to the ring, the boos are out tonight for Christian.
Rhino: WAIT WHATS THAT!? SUBWAY FROM THE BACK AND NAILS CHRISTIAN WITH A CANE SHOT!
Mark: He’s Not stopping, just nailing Christian all over the body. The Vp has taken control right off the bat with a Pearl Harbor tactic.
Rhino: He’s now choking Christian with the Cane, Subway grabs the hair with one hand and Cane in hand pointing at Christains face yelling at him.
Mark: Christian looks in trouble and Yes cane Shot to the head over and over again faster and faster.
Rhino: Short shots and Christian is bloody, Subway lets go and Christian falls the ground as Subway holds up the Cane and a bloody fist.
Mark: From behind it’s the Chaotic Cult Chaos first has a steel chair and just Nail Subway in the back! O.G. and Havok have a ladder and a Table both wrapped in barbwire.
Rhino: Chaos with another shot to the back. Psycho picks up Christian by the Throat and gorilla presses him over the barbwire and back in the ring between the ropes.
Mark: OG and Havok toss the Ladder in the ring first, then set the table on the outside. They arm themselves with Steel Chairs.
Rhino: Chaos is choking Subway with the chair, he motions for Psycho. Psycho picks up Sub and throws him in the ring. Subway gets caught in the Barbwire wrapped ropes. Christian has begain to get it togther as we have Chaotic Cult on all four sides of the ring.
Mark: Christian see’s his chance to gain control, grabs a disoreintated Subway and begins to grid the barbwire in Subways head! The blood flows as Psycho laughs and points.
Rhino: Draps him over the second rope and backs uop for a running gullitine, Subway bloody and limp fallls back. Christian positions him in the ring and climbs to the turnbuckle BIG LEGDROP ON SUBWAY!
Mark: Christian with a Cover….1………………2……….no kick out by Subway the X Core Soldier’s not down and out yet. Christian mad, takes the ladder holds it in the air and drops it down on Subway!
Rhino: Christian in Subways face….dripping bloody face to face, he ramming the ladder and grinding the barbwire in his head!
Mark: Christian stands up and a flip over splash on Subway and the ladder! He stomps at the ladder as he is going to the turnbuckle again slowly…taking to much time he’s taking a breather himself. But climbs up and…
Rhino: SUBWAY JUMPS UP AND THROWS THE LADDER AT CHRISTIAN SENDING HIM CRASHING DOWN TO THE FLOOR AND INTO..O NO PSYCHO’S FEET!
Mark: Relax there’s more, Psycho laughs as Christian struggling to get to his feet and turns right into Psycho and Christians impersonation of a deer in headlights!
Rhino: Psycho grabs him by the throat Christian fighting him but UP and Seven feet in air and DOWN Psycho Choke Slam!
Mark: Roughly seven that is, he is about six ten..
Rhino: Does it freaking MATTER! That sucked for anyone! OG and Havok grab Christian and drag him to the table and lay him on it as Chaos yells set the ladder up bitch! Subway does and sets in near the table with Christian on the table.
Mark: OG has Christian wrapped in Barbwire choking and raking across forhead! Havok holding Christians feet. Subway climbing the ladder….Chaos IS IN THE RING! He just CANED SUBWAY AS SUBWAY FELL OVER AND CRASH THROUGH THE TABLE WITH CHRISTIAN!
Rhino: There both out cold i beleive! Subways moving as OG and Havok pull him up and drag him over and toss in ring and follow in. Psycho watches over Christian as Chaos is in the ring as well.
Mark: Double suplex on the ladder leaning on the ropes, Subways body stays upside down and hanging. OG and Havok both come in with running dropkicks to a chair to Subways head. The blood is dripping as Subway is limp and Chaos motions for OG and Havok to hold Subway up.
Rhino: Psycho is dragging Christian back to the ring, you hear Psycho say as he walks bye ” Your taking a nap this match asshole”
Mark: Chaos sizes up Subway begins giving him shot after shot till the cane is busted up, then drops a chair on the floor and ddt’s Subway on it they roll him over….Psycho has Christian another Psycho Choke Slam On THE LADDER Wrapped in Barbwire. Havok and OG roll Subway over and …..
Rhino: 1………………………………..2………………………………..3 it’s over, brutal right from the start and as fast as it begin it was over.
Mark: Thats right lets get the offical..one sec Chaos has a Mic.
Chaos: You motherfuckers have not seen even a sample of what we plan to do..this is just the begining and if your not with us, your the enemy and we take no prisioners we show no mercy all we have is each other…..for life blood in blood out the Chaotic Cult….will rule the Kingdoom cause Chaos said so!
(chaos drops to his back and rolls out under the ropes as psycho leaves laughing loudly and O.G. and havok Motioning like there kicking dirt on Subway and Christian.)
Mark:Chaos has arrived and the eWa better watch out…
FTW Championship Musical Chairs Match
Megumi Kudo(c) vs Lenny & Lodi
Written by Psyko Boy PYB
PA Announcer: The following contest is a MUSICAL CHAIRS MATCH for the FTW CHAMPIONSHIP.. Introducing first, weighing in at a combined wieght of 444 pounds.. The EWA World Heavyweight Tag Team Champions.. LENNY LANE & LODI!
(“My Heart Goes Boom” hits as Lenny & Lodi make their way down to the ring..)
Mark: WAIT, Kudo and Jericho just attacked Lenny & Lodi from behind!
Rhino: Looks like their now waiting.
Mark: Kudo and Jericho beating Lenny & Lodi.. Lenny and Lodi tossed in the ring.. Kudo in, Jericho tosses her a chair.. Lennys up.. WICKED Chair Shot from Kudo..
Rhino: Lenny’s down but not out.. Watch out Lodi!
Mark: Lodi gets a chair shot! Kudo grabbing up Lenny Lane.. KUDOME DRIVER.. Lodi grabbed up now.. ANOTHER KUDOME DRIVER..
Rhino: Good god, talk about an ass kicking.
Mark: Jericho just slid a another chair in the ring.. Kudo places Lenny & Lodi’s heads on the other chair..
Rhino: This is gonna hurt..
Mark: Kudo grabs the other chair.. DOUBLE ONE MAN CONCHAIRTO..
Rhino: I think its safe to say this match is over..
Mark: The ref checking on Lenny & Lodi.. It is! This match is over..
PA Announcer: Ladies & Gentlemen, your winner and STILL FTW CHAMPION.. MEGUMI KUDO..
Mark: Kudo making short work of the EWA World Tag Team Champions tonight and retains her own title.
Rhino: She made short work of the glitter boys.
Mark:Lets now send it down to the ring for our Chinese Finger Trap Death Match
eWa Television Championship Chinese Finger Trap Death Match
Aaron Marx(c) vs Doug Kinsella
Written by Psyko Boy PYB
PA Announcer: The Following Contest Is A Chinese Fingertrap Death Match For The EWA Televsion Championship! Introducing first, from Dayton, Ohio.. Weighing in at 241 lbs.. DOUG KINSELLA..
(“Firefly” hits as Doug Kinsella makes his way to the ring..)
PA Announcer: And the champion, from New York City.. Weighing in at 232 lbs.. He is the EWA Television Champion.. Sports Entertainments ONLY Sure Thing.. AARON MARX..
(“Make a Move” hits over the PA System as Marx makes his way down to the ring)
Mark: The two men are being joined by the fingers by the five foot long finger trap..
Rhino: It’s gonna restrict alot of what they can do.. Marx won’t be able to hit his 360 Elbow Drop.
Mark: Well, its a death match, so that extra violence factor will make up for it.
Rhino: Indeed it will.
Mark: The bell rings and.. Doug’s not waiting! He goes for the Final Touch! Marx moves and pulls the finger trap, causing Doug to be floored!
Rhino: Kinsella tried to end this quick and ended up looking like an ass as he fell on his ass.
Mark: Doug getting to his feet, Marx pulls the trap again.. Clothesline by Marx, Kinsella back to his feet, Another clothesline by Marx.. Marx grabbing Kinsella up and hooking him for a DDT. Marx nails it.. Wait, Aaron’s hanging on.. He’s going for the Freefall! Kinsella is able to slip out and locks in a Full Nelson on Marx!
Rhino: Marx is in trouble..
Mark: Marx trying to fight out of the Full Nelson.. Marx charges towards a turnbuckle and Kinsella is smashed face first!
Rhino: Marx able to get out of it quick..
Mark: Aaron Marx whips Kinsella towards the opposite corner and runs with him.. Shoulder tackle by Marx.. Whips Kinsella again.. A second shoulder tackle.. Marx whips Kinsella again.. Holds onto.. Sends him back.. Kinsella hits hard and over the rope!
Rhino: Not good for Marx, because that fingertrap just dragged him into the turnbuckle and over the ropes!
Mark: Doug and Aaron both back to their feet.. It’s a slugfest now.. Marx and Kinsella with rights back and forth.. Kinsella with the upper hand.. Kinsella with a big right, floors Marx.. Marx back to his fight, catching more rights from Kinsella.. Kinsella yanks the trap, pulling Marx to him.. Kinsella catches Marx and lifts him up.. Holds him.. Kinsella turns around and backs up.. GOOD GOD..
Rhino: Kinsella just dropped Marx face first onto those steel steps!
Mark: Kinsella reaching under the ring and grabs a.. It’s a barbed wire chair! Doug swings.. Marx moves and Kinsella hits the steps.. Kinsella swings again, Marx moves and Doug hits the turnpost.. Kinsella swings once more.. Marx moves..
Rhino: And Kinsella just killed our time keeper! He needs to improve his aim..
Mark: Doug turns around.. Kick to the gut, Marx grabs the chair.. HUGE Chairshot by Marx and Kinsella is DOWN..
Rhino: That’s gonna leave a mark..
Mark: Marx tosses that chair into the ring and is looking for other weapons under the ring.. trash cans, chairs, a table or two.. kendo sticks..
Rhino: The funs about to begin..
Mark: Marx rolls Kinsella into the ring and follows.. Marx putting the boots to Kinsella..
Rhino: Doug’s bleeding from that chair shot..
Mark: Aaron Marx with the upper hand.. A quick back suplex by Marx, dropping Kinsella on that barbed wire chair.. Marx with a cover.. 1……… 2…… Kinsella kicks out…
Rhino: It’s gonna take more than that to put Kinsella down..
Mark: Marx setting up a chair.. Going for a backbrea–NO! Kinsella punches Marx in the back of the head and nails a russian leg sweep.. Kinsella back to his feet.. He’s now choking Marx with the finger trap!
Rhino: Kinsella making use of whats binding the two of these men together, that chinese finger trap..
Mark: Kinsella lets go of Marx, allowing him to catch his breath.. Kinsella laying a trashcan in the center of the ring.. Kinsella hooks Marx.. WHIPLASH on the trash can..
Rhino: That move is also known as the Ego Trip, used by Rob Conway..
Mark: Kinsella with a cover… 1……………2……… Marx kicks out!
Rhino: Marx has gotta be hurting right now..
Mark: Kinsella places a chair in between the top and middle turnbuckles.. Kinsella whips Marx towards the corner.. Marx baseball slides! Marx under the ropes and to the outside.. Kinsella follows, Marx grabs the chair.. WICKED CHAIR SHOT..
Rhino: Marx nailed Kinsella as he was leaving the ring..
Mark: Marx pulls Kinsella out on the opposite side of the turnpost.. Marx tights his grip on the fingertrap and backs up.. Kinsella goes face first into the turnpost! Marx pushes Kinsella away and backs up again.. Kinsella is slams into the post once more!
Rhino: Kinsella is in trouble..
Mark: Marx going to ram Kinsella once more.. Kinsella blocks! Pulls hard.. And Marx is slammed hard into the turnpost!
Rhino: Marx went to the well one too many times..
Mark: Both men catching their breath.. Marx grabbing a chair.. He swings! Kinsella ducks and Marx hits the turnbuckle.. Kinsella pulls the finger trap.. And that chair gets sandwiched between the turnpost and Marx’s face!
Rhino: Marx is hurting..
Mark: Kinsella reaches around and rolls Marx back into the ring.. Kinsella back in the ring. Both men bleeding now.. Kinsella places a chair in the center of ring, whips Marx towards the ropes.. Kinsella yanks the fingertrap, Marx brought back.. Drop toe hold and Marx’s face is smashed into the chair!
Rhino: I think Marx just lost a few teeth..
Mark: Kinsella lays down a trashcan.. Kinsella hooks Marx.. T-BONE SUPLEX Onto the trashcan! Kinsella with a cover.. 1……………………..2……………… Marx kicks out!
Rhino: Kinsella not looking too happy about that..
Mark: Kinsella setting up that table.. Marx put into the firemans carry.. WIDOWMAKER THROUGH THE TABLE.. Doug Kinsella with the cover! 1……………………2…………………3-NO! MARX KICKS OUTS!
Rhino: Doug Kinsella is livid! He has got to be wondering what will keep Marx down..
Mark: Kinsella throws the rest of the table out of the ring in anger.. Kinsella picks up Marx.. He’s calling for the Final Touch! Marx whipped towards a corner.. Kinsella pulls him back and charges..
Rhino: FINAL TOUCH!
Mark: NO! Marx leaps and counters with a hurricarana! Kinsella face first into the middle turnbuckle! Kinsella stumbles back.. Marx wraps the finger trap around Kinsella’s throat.. He just tossed Kinsella over top rope… HE’S HANGING HIM.. AARON MARX IS HANGING DOUG KINSELLA WITH THE FINGER TRAP..
Rhino: Marx is choking the life out of Doug Kinsella!
Mark: I think Kinsella has passed out! Marx leaps over the top ropes and to the ring apron, Kinsella slumps to the floor.. Marx to the floor and is under the ring apron..
Rhino: What else could they need..
Mark: Looks like Marx wants another table.. Marx pushes the table into the ring.. Kinsella thrown into the ring next, Marx follows.. Aaron Marx hooks Kinsella.. Vertical suplex.. Marx is stalling.. THE FREEFALL.. Marx with the Freefall!
Rhino: Marx could finish it here..
Mark: Wait.. Marx has that smirk on his face.. He’s setting that table up in the corner.. He just got tossed.. …Light Fluid..
Rhino: This won’t end well.
Mark: Marx is spraying down that table.. He just got tossed a lighter.. And we have a flaming table!
Rhino: Marx is gonna put Kinsella away!
Mark: Marx has Kinsella up for a powerbomb..
Rhino: Kinsella’s in trouble!!
Mark: Marx charges! Kinsella with rights! Marx stops.. Kinsella falls back for a hurricarana.. NO! Marx holds on!
Rhino: Kinsella is fighting back!
Mark: Marx gets Kinsella back up.. OH MY GOD.. KINSELLA IS POWERBOMBED THROUGH THAT FLAMING TABLE..
Rhino: GOOD GOD..
Mark: Marx drags Kinsella away… 1……………………………2……………………………..3!
PA Announcer: Your Winner and STILL EWA TELEVISION CHAMPION.. AARON MARX!!
Mark: Marx has overcome Doug Kinsella tonight and retains the EWA Television Championship..
Rhino: Marx has left the ring and heads to the back, Kinsella finally showing signs of movement..
(“Thou Shall” hits over the PA System..)
Mark: What the hells going on?
Rhino: Look at the top of the ramp!
Mark: Coffins! Nothing but coffins!
Rhino: Kinsella sees it now, too!
Mark: What does it mean for Kinsella? What does this mean for the eWa? Right now its time for our first Main Event…
eWa World Heavyweight Championship Triple Tier Cage Match
Shawn Michaels(c) vs Big Daddy Ace
Pa Announcer:Tonights Main Event is a TRIPLE TIER CAGE MATCH and is for the eWa World Heavyweight Championship… Currently in the ring… The Special Guest Referee… PURGATORY… Now introducing the participants… First… The Challenger… From Boston, Mass… Weighing in at 273 Pounds… BIG DADDY ACE…
(“10000 Fists” plays as Big Daddy Ace enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent…From San Antonio, Texas… Weighing in at 227 Pounds… Representing Degeneration X… The Defending eWa World Heavyweight Champion… The Heartbreak Kid SHAWN MICHAELS…
(“Boy Toy” plays as Shawn Michaels enters the arena…)
Mark:Purgatory calls for the bell and this match up is underway… Shawn Michaels and Big Daddy Ace are face to face in the center of the ring…
Rhino:They are both looking around at the surroundings and how high up the cage actually is…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace slaps Shawn Michaels right in the face…
Rhino:Shawn slaps him right back…
Mark:HBK goes for a couple of jabs to Big Daddy Ace backing him up in to the ropes… Irish whip by Shawn Michaels… Big Daddy Ace with a reversal… HBK comes off the ropes… High back body drop by Big Daddy Ace…
Rhino:Shawn was real close to hitting the top the cage…
Mark:Shawn Michaels gets back up on to his feet… Big Daddy Ace charges and knocks Shawn Michaels over the top rope with a huge running clothesline…
Rhino:Big Daddy Ace is now climbing to the top rope…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace dives off the top rope… Shawn moves out of the way and Big Daddy Ace crashes down on to the floor…
Mark:Shawn Michaels now whips Big Daddy Ace right in to the steel… Big Daddy Ace staggers out and Michaels nails him with a dropkick…
Rhino:That caught Ace right in the jaw…
Mark:Shawn just pulled a steel chair out from underneath the ring…
Rhino:Big Daddy Ace is back up…
Mark:Steel Chair right to the head of Big Daddy Ace…
Rhino:Ace just got his head taken off…
Mark:Shawn Michaels now picks up Big Daddy Ace… Ace slides off of Shawn Michaels shoulder and pushes Shawn in to the steel… Shawn Michaels turns back around… Ace picks him up and throws him head first in to the steel cage…
Rhino:The World Champion is in trouble at the moment…
Mark:Ace once again picks up Shawn Michaels and drops him face first in to the steel steps…Big Daddy Ace covers Shawn Michaels on the outside of the ring… Purgatory makes the count 1…………….2……………… Shawn Michaels gets his shoulder up…
Rhino:Ace rolls Shawn Michaels back in to the ring…
Mark:Ace is now trying to pull down the ladder that is hanging from the top of the cage as he wants to move to the second tier of the cage…
Rhino:This may be giving Shawn Michaels sometime to recover…
Mark:The ladder is down… Shawn is back up… Ace whips him in to the ropes… Powerslam by Big Daddy Ace driving Shawn Michaels in to the mat…
Rhino:Ace is trying to pull Shawn Michaels up the ladder by his hair…
Mark:Both men are up in the second tier of the cage and Ace slams Shawn Michaels down on to the steel…
Rhino:Im looking around at the weapons hanging in the second cage and it looks like Purgatory was very hands on with choosing the weapons for this match up…
Mark:I agree with you there it does indeed look like he was…As Big Daddy Ace pulls down a steel chain from the cage… Ace wraps the chain around the throat of Shawn Michaels…
Rhino:Ace is trying to choke the life out of Shawn Michaels and its all legal…
Mark:Purgatory watches on and checks on Shawn Michaels… Michaels with elbows to the midsection as he is able to get the chain off of his throat… Right hand by Shawn Michaels…
Rhino:Shawn is starting to fight back…
Mark:Shawn Michaels charges… Ace ducks and flap jacks Shawn Michaels right down on to the steel…
Rhino:That has to knock the wind right out of Shawn Michaels…
Mark:Ace now looks around and pulls off a glass chair from the cage…
Rhino:The Heartbreak Kid is in some trouble now…
Mark:Shawn Michaels turns around… Ace swings… Michaels ducks out of the way… Shawn Michaels grabs the chair away from Big Daddy Ace… Glass Chair Breaks over the skull of the challenger…
Rhino:Big Daddy Ace is now bleeding…
Mark:Michaels falls on top of Big Daddy Ace… Purgatory makes the count 1……………………………2…………………….3……NO! Ace got his shoulder up…
Rhino:The challenger is now in some trouble as he is losing blood after that chair shot…
Mark:Michaels now pulls off a singapore cane… Ace turns around and Shawn Michaels nails him right in the head with the singapore cane…
Rhino:Big Daddy Ace staggers back up again…
Mark:One more shot to the skull by the World Heavyweight Champion…
Rhino:Ace looks to be out of it…
Mark:Shawn Michaels covers him again 1………………………..2…………………………3…..NO! Ace once again got his shoulder up…
Rhino:Michaels seems to be in control of this match up at the moment…
Mark:Shawn Michaels with an irish whip… Reversal by Big Daddy Ace and Michaels goes right through the cage door and is now on the outside of the second tier cage…
Rhino:That has to give some momentum back to Big Daddy Ace…
Mark:Ace wipes the blood out of his eyes and goes after Shawn Michaels… HBK is back up… SPEAR!
Rhino:That could be it…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace with the cover… Purgatory makes the count 1………………………….2…………………….3……….NO! Shawn Michaels got his shoulder up…
Rhino:Ace is now climbing up to the third tier of the cage…
Mark:Shawn Michaels is up on his feet… Ace dives… MICHAELS MOVES! As Big Daddy Ace hits the steel hard…
Rhino:That chance backfired on Big Daddy Ace…
Mark:It sure did… Shawn Michaels now hooks up Big Daddy Ace… Front Face Suplex dropping Big Daddy Ace once again in to the steel…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels is now climbing up the cage…
Mark:Shawn Michaels waits for Ace to get back up… DIVING MOONSAULT! HBK CONNECTS!
Rhino:What a move that was by The Heartbreak Kid…
Mark:Heres the cover by Shawn Michaels 1………………………………2……………………………3……….NO! Big Daddy Ace gets his shoulder up…
Rhino:That was so close…
Mark:It sure was…
Rhino:Michaels is tuning up the band right now…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace staggers up to his feet… SWEET CHIN MUSIC! NO! Ace ducks…
Rhino:If Shawn hit the kick it would have been over…
Mark:Ace kicks Shawn Michaels in the midsection… ACE CRUSHER! NO! Shawn counters out… Ace turns around… SWEET CHIN MUSIC!
Rhino:Thats gotta be it…
Mark:Shawn Michaels hooks the leg on Big Daddy Ace 1……………………………..2………………………3…….. ITS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and STILL eWa World Heavyweight Champion SHAWN MICHAELS…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels retains the World Heavyweight Championship once again…
Mark:Can anyone stop Shawn Michaels? But now its time for eWa Slaughter House…
William McConnell vs Lone Jobber
Written by Psyko Boy PYB
Mark: McConnell’s arrived at the Slaughterhouse in Evansville..
Rhino: He even dressed in his ring gear before hand.
Mark: McConnell walking in through the gates.
Rhino: That fence is electrified. No ones getting out of here.
Mark: I don’t see Jobber. McConnell taking off his sunglasses and examining the house.
Rhino: He sure as hell isn’t rushing to get inside.
Mark: McConnell walking around to the back. This house looks ratty a- WHAT THE HELL..
Rhino: We found Jobber!
Mark: Jobber just swung a sledgehammer from around the corner at McConnell! The sledge is now stuck in the house and McConnell is firing rights off into Jobbers face.
Rhino: Thats a way to get the jump on someone.
Mark: McConnell knocks Jobber down. Hes pulled the sledge from the house.. Jobber up.. McConnell swinging to kill!
Rhino: He can swing all he wants, but he missed.
Mark: Jobber tackles McConnell to the ground and the two are rolling around on the ground, punching each other like mad.
Rhino: Theres no wrestling here.. This is a damn fight.
Mark: The two are nearing some sort of wooden playset. Jobber kicks McConnell off himself.. Jobber up.. Charges at McConnell.. McConnell moves! Jobber slams through the playset!
Rhino: Jobber went through that thing like it was nothing but toothpicks. Lord knows he’s got a huge splinter in his ass.
Mark: McConnell following Jobber in.. Jobber with a kick to McConnells stomach and begins to climb up the playset. McConnell following, pulling at Jobbers shirt and ripping it off.
Rhino: What is this? Tag?
Mark: Jobbers at a slide.. Not fast enough though, McConnell just kicked the back of Jobbers knee, causing him to fall. McConnell with a vicious kick to the back of Jobbers head. Jobbers now face down and aimed right at the slide.
Rhino: McConnells smiling.
Mark: McConnell’s stepping on Jobbers back.. Grabs Jobbers arms.. Look at that!
Rhino: McConnell just rode Jobber down that slide! It’s been hot all day in E-Ville and Jobber just went down a metal slide stomach first with no shirt and a guy standing on his back.
Mark: Only in the EWA. McConnell picking up Jobber.. rams him into the slide head first and follows it up with a scoop slam onto the ground. McConnell is climbing back onto the playset..
Rhino: What the hell is he planning?
Mark: Jobbers up already! McConnell just got punched in the kidney.. They’re ontop of the playset now..
Rhino: This isn’t gonna be good..
Mark: Jobber just nailed McConnell with a straight kick to the groin!
Rhino: Thats a good way to set up for something.. I think.
Mark: Jobber has McConnell hooked.. He’s pointing to the pool, looking at the camera..
Rhino: This is gonna be the ultimate backbuster.. …Wait, that pool doesn’t look right!
Mark: Too late! JOBBER POWERBOMBS MCCONNELL OFF THE SET.. …OH MY GOD..
Rhino: THAT ISN’T A POOL.. THAT’S GLASS AND BARBED WIRE.. HOLY SHIT..
Mark: The fans, who can only see through the Hardcore Theater, are saying the same thing! I’ve never seen anything like it.. I’ve seen alot, but I’ve never seen a man powerbombed into a pool of glass and barbed wire!
Rhino: And this is only the beginning of the match. McConnells already in trouble, however. Jobber injured that already iffy back of PYBs by powerbombing him through the ring at Friday Night Frenzy.
Mark: Jobbers gotten down from the playset.. …And onto a trampoline? Could he do anything more to McConnell?
Rhino: He can.. it’s just a matter of McConnell feeling it.
Mark: Jobbers getting some bounce now.. higher.. higher.. higher.. FLYING ELBOW DROP.. Jobber just took the leap from the trampoline and dropped an elbow on McConnell!
Rhino: Now all the ref has to do is count it to make it official.. …Where is the ref, anyways?
Mark: Doesn’t matter. Jobbers lifting up McConnell slowly.. McConnell’s back is hurting.. PYB just got thrown out of the pool. Jobber getting out of the pool and picks up McConnell slowly..
Rhino: Maybe we’ll actually get into the house now.
Mark: Jobber seems to have the same idea. He’s got McConnell by the back of his neck and is charging towards the back door..
Rhino: McConnells in trouble..
Mark: Oh my god! McConnell’s head was just rammed through the back door window! Jobber holds onto McConnells neck.. McConnell thrown through the door!
Rhino: McConnells bleeding now.. Lets see what room we’ve come to.. it looks like a kitchen.
Mark: You’d be correct, Rhino. Stove, fridge, huge freezer.. …Abdullah the Butcher?
Rhino: Abdullah’s carrying a huge slab of meat.
Mark: Jobber doesn’t see him and grabs a frying pan. He’s waiting for McConnell. It seems Abdullah didn’t like that.. JOBBER GETS THE FORK!
Rhino: Jobber just got forked in the ass! …That came out wrong.
Mark: Jobber spins and starts yelling at Abby.. I don’t think Abby cares.. Jobber gets forked again!
Rhino: Why is he just standing there?
Mark: McConnells up! The Answer is showing some life! PYB just grabbed that frying pan.. Jobber turns around.. WHAT A HIT..
Rhino: That frying pan just bounced off Jobbers head.. And he’s high tailing it out of there.
Mark: McConnell drops the frying pan and wipes his face.. Lots of blood flowing from his forehead.. ABDULLAH FORKS MCCONNELL!
Rhino: I guess they’re in his way.
Mark: McConnell gets his ass out of there.. We’re in a hallway now.. No door.. seems to lead to one room.
Rhino: Welcome to the Dining Room.
Mark: Jobbers standing next to a fire place, holding his head after being panned. McConnell just grabbed a wooden chair. Jobber turns around.. THAT CHAIR JUST SHATTERED OVER JOBBER..
Rhino: So much for his head.
Mark: McConnell grabs Lone Jobber by his head and throws him stomach first onto that huge table. McConnell is now sliding Jobber across it, smashing everything into Jobber! Jobber thrown off the table!
Rhino: McConnell’s taken back the upper hand.
Mark: McConnell dragging Jobber to the only other door in the room. Jobber just pulled McConnells shirt, McConnell is face first into the door!
Rhino: Jobber quicker than McConnell that time.
Mark: Jobber moving back some.. Jobber charges.. McConnell moves! Jobber stops him.. DROPKICK.. MCCONNELL DROPKICKED JOBBER THROUGH THE DOOR..
Rhino: We’re seeing more of the house, now. Looks like we’re nearing the living room.
Mark: McConnell threw Jobber into a recliner.. Spear! The chair tips and Jobber rolls onto the ground.. McConnell gets to his feet and walks over to a table, grabbing a lamp. Wait, look at that. Jobbers got the cord to something.. It’s a lamp..
Rhino: This is not going to end well.
Mark: Jobber concealing the lamp as he gets to his knees. McConnell grabs Jobbers head and picks him.. GOD DAMN.. BOTH MEN JUST SMASHED THE LAMPS OVER EACH OTHERS HEADS..
Rhino: Both men are down.. ..Hey, look who just showed up.
Mark: It’s about time..
Rhino: The ref just charged through the front door in a hurry only to be welcomed by two men, who are now both bleeding, laying on the floor with lamp pieces around them.
Mark: The ref begins counting and we’re at 4..
Rhino: The match ends at 10.
Mark: Both men now up at 6.. Jobber throws a right.. McConnell stumbles back.. McConnell fires back a right and Jobber stumbles back.. Jobber with a right.. McConnell blocks.. McConnell begins firing rapid rights.. Jobber goes low, grabbing McConnell by the legs.. Flapjack through the coffee table!
Rhino: My god.. Did you hear that table crack? Or was that one of PYB’s ribs? Either way, the crowd heard it and they’re chanting.
Mark: McConnell’s ribs were also injured from that powerbomb at Frenzy and then again earlier. After that, they may be cracked.
Rhino: The ref is beginning to count..
Mark: Jobber stops the count.. He’s got McConnell ready again.. he’s gonna do it again over the back of the couch.. McConnell fighting against it, though! McConnell with forearms to the back of Jobber.. Jobber lets go.. McConnell charges at Jobber.. SPEAR.. JOBBER SPEARS MCCONNELL..
Rhino: Jobber speared McConnell, they hit the couch and flipped it over..
Mark: Jobbers to his feet.. He’s looking at the wall.. …What the hell is that?
Rhino: It looks like.. Some cut out a picture of Jobber and pasted it on a Mona Lisa.
Mark: Jobber takes it off the wall and admires the painting.. McConnell is getting to his feet.. And there goes that painting, right over McConnells head!
Rhino: What a waste of such a priceless.. …um.. …Nevermind.
Mark: Jobber seems to be bored and grabs a TV remote, telling the ref to go get him a drink. Jobbers plops down in another recliner and turns on the TV.
Rhino: Shouldn’t the ref be counting PYB out?
Mark: He’s busy getting a drink for Jobber.
Rhino: Well, Jobber seems content. Hey, is that Pay Per View?
Mark: I believe it is, Rhino. And he’s watching Glory. Which means he’s watching himself..
Rhino: Here comes the ref, holding his ass.. Looks like he got forked too. The ref hands Jobbs a soda and continues to watch himself..
Mark: Unfortunately, he didn’t watch McConnell get up because McConnell just flipped that chair backwards and dropped a foot stool on Jobber!
Rhino: Looks like McConnells thirsty.. He just picked up that soda and took a drink.
Mark: Jobbers getting up and McConnell just slammed that can over Jobbers head.
Rhino: Well, now that everyones refreshed and we have a forked Ref..
Mark: McConnell and Jobber are battling into the next room.. It’s now a.. …a library?
Rhino: I wonder what kind of books are stored in here.
Mark: McConnell just threw Jobber into a book shelf, causing a mass of books to land on Jobber.
Rhino: Are those magazines?
Mark: McConnell grabbed one and looked at it.. Woah, look what it is.
Rhino: It’s the Christy Hemme Playboy!
Mark: McConnell takes a peak at the centerfold then folds the magazine up and smacks Jobber in the head with it. Jobber takes McConnells legs out from under and gets to his own feet..
Rhino: They’re battling in a pile of books.
Mark: McConnell getting back up to his feet.. Jobber has something.. Jobber smashes a huge book of McConnells head!
Rhino: What was that?
Mark: It looked like a dictionary. Either way, McConnell just suffered some head trauma. McConnell floored and Jobbers beginning to climb one of those rolling shelf ladders..
Rhino: He’s got something planned.
Mark: It ain’t gonna work, though! McConnell’s up and he’s pushing that ladder sideways, causing it to roll.. And it’s picking up speed.
Rhino: This won’t end well.
Mark: McConnell moving that ladder pretty fast.. The ladder hit the edge, Jobber goes flying into a bookshelf! It’s like frikken dominos!
Rhino: All the bookshelfs are falling one by one!
Mark: Jobbers not happy about that, glaring at McConnell. McConnell motions for Jobber to bring it. Jobber charges and the two are back into a fist fight again. Jobber just got the upper hand and he’s pushing McConnell towards the next door. Jobber winds up for big punch.. McConnell with a kick to the gut and.. ..WHAT THE HELL..
Rhino: Where’d McConnell go?! He just disappeared through the floor!
Mark: I think it was a trap door. Jobber seems to know where it was and he’s entering the next room. It’s a power room.
Rhino: Shouldn’t that be downstairs?
Mark: It’s a slaughterhouse.. Jobber moving to what seems to be the basement, now. Where the hell did McConnell end up?
Rhino: I think we found him.. Look.
Mark: What is this room?
Rhino: Its some kind of.. Razor Wire Jungle.
Mark: 2×4 trees with razor wire leaves. That is definately new. McConnell is laying on the floor, writhing in pain and wrapped in razor wire after falling through that trap door.
Rhino: Jobber looks to be taking advantage of this. He just.. …threwn on a lumberjack hat.
Mark: Do I wannna know? Jobber grabs McConnell by the legs.. He just swung McConnell into one of those 2x4s! And he does it again! One more time! And each time, McConnell’s ribs make that sickening smack against the wood..
Rhino: It McConnell can’t breathe, he can’t finish this match. I don’t think the fans want that.. They’re chanting “This Match Rules”.
Mark: Indeed it does, Rhino. McConnell is finally free of the razor wire wrapped around him, thanks to Jobber. Jobbers now dragging McConnell to the next basement room..
Rhino: There’s no telling what it could be.
Mark: They’re in the next room, and.. It looks like a Purg B Toys factory.
Rhino: Hey.. Is that Gravedigger? …And he’s digging a grave.. This won’t go well.
Mark: Jobber tosses McConnell to the ground and searches around the room. Oh no, look what he grabbed..
Rhino: It’s the infamous glass chair!
Mark: McConnells up to his feet, he doesn’t see what Jobber has… OH MY GOD.. JOBBER SHATTERED THAT CHAIR OVER MCCONNELLS SKULL..
Rhino: McConnell just crumpled over in a heap!
Mark: The ref is begnning the count.. 1… 2…. 3… 4…
Rhino: Look at Jobber, Mark! He’s riding around on what looks like a Razor Scooter!
Mark: I guess he thinks he has the match.. 7… Wait.. McConnells getting up!
Rhino: And he’s got something in his hand..
Mark: Jobber sees McConnell and begins racing the scooter at The Answer.. McConnell readies that weapon.. It’s a kendo stick! And it just exploded over Jobbers head!
Rhino: Quite literally! McConnell smacked Jobber with it and there was a loud crack accompanined by a spark that left Jobber face black!
Mark: McConnell not daring to stall.. He reaches for something..
Rhino: That looks familiar..
Mark: It’s McConnell’s old torch! The one Purgatory gave to him for christmas! McConnell is aiming for Jobber.. McConnell using the torch like a flamethrower! Jobber ducks and the ref just got set on fire!
Rhino: I hope the ref didn’t think he wasn’t gonna get hurt.. this is slaughterhouse.
Mark: Jobbers back up to his feet.. Clothesline, McConnell ducks.. McConnell grabs Jobber.. ..He just threw Jobber into a flaming ref!
Rhino: Well, the refs been put out. Jobber getting back to his feet slowly..
Mark: Gravedigger just pounded the ref with the shovel, getting the job done for sure.. McConnell turns around.. SHOVEL TO THE HEAD.. McConnell is down.. Jobber turns around.. SHOVEL TO THE HEAD..
Rhino: Hell, I think Gravedigger could win this match.
Mark: McConnell getting back to his feet.. He picks Jobber up and throws him through a door, taking us to another room. It’s got a pool table and.. It’s full of.. pink stuff.
Rhino: Is that abestos?!
Mark: I pray not, it’s a potential cause of cancer. ..What the hell is McConnell doing? He just tore some of that abestos off the wall and is cramming it down Jobbers throat!
Rhino: What the hell is wrong with him?!
Mark: McConnell just took a bite of that stuff! He’s insane! He’s licking his fingers like it was full of sugar or something..
Rhino: ..Hey Mark.. You don’t suppose..
Mark: Suppose what?
Rhino: You know how slaughterhouse is.. Maybe that’s cotton candy.
Mark: ..I think you’re right, McConnells sure enjoying it.
Rhino: Quite a scare there.
Mark: McConnell’s grabbing a pool cue and begins choking Jobber with it. Jobber now thrown onto the pool table. McConnell’s got the 8 ball.. He’s lining up..
Rhino: 8 Ball, Center Of Jobbers Head!
Mark: Indeed, Rhino, indeed. Jobber grabbing his head in pain has he reaches for a pool ball.. Jobber launches it at McConnell.. OUCH! McConnell just knocked that pool ball right back at Jobber and straight into his groin!
Rhino: 2 Balls, Corner Pockets.
Mark: McConnell tosses Jobber onto that pool table again and climbs up on it.. PSYDE EFFECT! MCCONNELL PUT HIMSELF AND JOBBER THROUGHT THE POOL TABLE!
Rhino: But there’s no ref! This is going to be a good time for both men to take a breather.
Mark: Neither man is moving at this moment, I think they’re taking your advice.
Rhino: This has been insane.. And it’s only been the basement and first floor.
Mark: The Answer finally getting back to his feet.. He picks up Jobber and drags him towards the steps.. Both men ascending now and they’re back in the power room that lead down into the basement.
Rhino: This won’t end well.
Mark: McConnell is heading over to another thing of stairs that lead upstairs this time. McConnell dragging Jobber up the stairs, reaching the top.. Wait! Jobber with a mule kick to McConnell! Jobber pushes McConnell down the stairs! THE ANSWER GOES TUMBLING!
Rhino: He just got turned inside out!
Mark: McConnell not even moving.. Jobber nowhere to be seen. The ref is probably still in the basement. McConnell is finally getting to his feet and starts to asscend the stairs again.. ..And gets blasted with a paint can to the head!
Rhino: Jobber taking a page out of the Home Alone book.
Mark: McConnell grits his teeth and tries going upstairs again. Another paint can.. McConnell ducks this on.. .Something else is coming..
Rhino: Is that..?
Mark: Jobber swung down at McConnell and has McConnell in a headscissors.. Going for a hurricarana.. NO.. McConnell holds on.. He hoists Jobber back up.. OH MY GOD.. MCCONNELL POWERBOMBED JOBBER THROUGH THE STAIRS..
Rhino: I think he just got his pay back.
Mark: McConnell just dropped to his knees, holding his back.. It’s probably bothering him like all hell..
Rhino: I wouldn’t doubt it.
Mark: McConnell back to his feet, pulling Jobber from his hole in the stairs.. McConnell dragging him up whats left of the stairs. We’re back at the top and we’re in a hallway. McConnell grabs something.. It’s a wheel chair!
Rhino: What the hell is a wheel chair doing.. wait, I don’t wanna know.
Mark: McConnell sets Jobber in the wheel chair and begins pushing him.. McConnell running. Jobbers aimed for that door!
Rhino: WHAM! Jobber’s face meets door. McConnell playing with a little physics.
Mark: The Answer opening the door.. It’s the bathroom.
Rhino: This’ll be fun.
Mark: McConnell opens up the cabinet mirror and starts pulling out all kinds of pill bottles.. Jobber getting pills of all colors dumped on him.
Rhino: I wonder what those are.
Mark: Jobber just put a couple in his mouth.. WOAH.. JOBBER WITH A BURST OF ENERGY.. FURIOUS PUNCHES TO MCCONNELL..
Rhino: What the hell were those?!
Mark: McConnell blocks a right, grabs Jobbers head and runs him through the shower door!
Rhino: And there goes his energy boost.
Mark: McConnell turning on the shower, giving Jobber a cold one. He’s picking up a few of those pills.. ..Wait, those aren’t pills..
Rhino: They’re pez!
Mark: That makes about as much sense as everything else thus far, so I’m not saying much.
Rhino: What else could be in this place?
Mark: McConnell flips up the toiler seat.. …He wouldn’t..
Rhino: I think he is!
Mark: McConnell hoists Jobber onto his shoulders.. TOMBSTONE INTO THE TOILET.. FOLLOWED BY A SWIRLY!
Rhino: I hope that toilet was flushed!
Mark: Jobber pushing away and gets out of that bathroom, coughing. Man, that had to be a sickening experience.
Rhino: Could’ve been worse, he could’ve used it before hand.
Mark: Quite. McConnell now following Jobber down the hall.. Jobber throws open a door to a room and McConnell follows.
Rhino: I wonder whats in here.. I see.. A bed.. and a dresser.
Mark: I think thats it. Jobber resting over by the dresser. McConnell goes to grab him, Jobber blocks and slams McConnells head onto the dresser!
Rhino: I just realised something. That shower and toiler washing has gotten all the blood off of Jobbers face and out of his eyes. McConnell’s face is still a crimson mask.. That’s gonna play a factor.
Mark: Well, McConnells vision is indeed impared by the blood in his eyes. Jobber now digging in the dresser for something.. He pulls out a scrapbook of some sort..
Rhino: Who’s in it?
Mark: McConnell turns around.. AND GETS CLOCKED..
Rhino: …Or WHATS in it?
Mark: McConnell knocked to the floor by that scrapbook.. Jobber now thumbing through it.. Is he twitching?
Rhino: Maybe it’s from all they’ve done to each other?
Mark: These guys are super human, that’s for sure..
Rhino: This is what a pure hatred or lust for revenge can do to men.
Mark: Jobber now holding the scrapbook away from him and waiting for McConnell.. McConnell staggers back to his feet.. turns around.. Jobber flashes him the scrapbook..
Rhino: McConnell just screamed in horror and grabbed his eyes! What was in there?!
Mark: McConnell just slammed into a wall, probably in an attempt to get away from whatever that was.
Rhino: Jobber just flashed it towards the camera… WOAH.. GET THAT THING OFF CAMERA..
Mark: Good god.. Was that..?
Rhino: It was a Demon Child scrap book!
Mark: That was low.. But Jobber must have taken alot out of himself just to look for the right picture.
Rhino: Well, Jobbers just tossed it out the window and is focusing back on McConnell.
Mark: Jobber now laying in hard rights to McConnell. Jobber lifts him up.. Whips him towards the bed.. No, holds on and whips McConnell right back into that wall!
Rhino: I think it cracked.
Mark: Jobber walking away, blood starting to flow from his head again.. He turns and charges at McConnell, McConnell moves! Jobber just slammed into that wall with a resounding CRACK!
Rhino: That wall is giving..
Mark: I think McConnell knows it as he just rammed Jobber into and through it! Jobber falls into the next room and is followed by McConnell and our crew..
Rhino: Next room, next odd thing..
Mark: And this room is.. ..is that a fountain?
Rhino: I think it it is..
Mark: McConnell examining it.. Seems all clear. McConnell using the water to clean his face off. Now he’ll be able to see better.
Rhino: No doubt it’ll be red before the end of this match again.
Mark: McConnell opting to leave the room instead of staying on Jobber..
Rhino: Probably wants to see what else there is.
Mark: McConnell looking at the room across the hall and goes towards it.. Wait.. Jobber just stopped McConnell and got in his way!
Rhino: Jobber trying to prevent PYB from getting into that room..
Mark: McConnell tries to advance.. Jobber pushes him back.. McConnell grabs Jobber by his head and throws him into the door!
Rhino: Jobber’s been hitting door after door today..
Mark: McConnell opens the door and walks inside.. I.. think it’s a trophy room.
Rhino: I see a few trophies.. some vases..
Mark: McConnell seems to have spotted a very expensive looking vase and walks over to it.. Jobber is back in the room and is pleading with McConnell..
Rhino: He values his art.
Mark: McConnell giving it thought.. NOPE! He shoves the vase and shatters it!
Rhino: Jobber doesn’t look happy..
Mark: Jobber charges McConnell.. Big right hands! He is livid!
Rhino: So he does indeed value his art.
Mark: Jobber fighting McConnell out of the room. The two are now fighting down the hall! Jobber with a hard right, flooring McConnell!
Rhino: Jobber smash!
Mark: McConnell staggering back to his feet.. Jobber grabs McConnell from behind.. Going for a back drop.. And runs him into the wall!
Rhino: Good use of his enviroment there.
Mark: Jobber kicks open a door to head into another room.. Wait.. WHAT THE HELL.. Someone just grabbed Jobber and pulled himself the room! The door is slammed!
Rhino: Whats going on in there?!
Mark: Loud noises of things being crashed coming from that room.. The door opens back up.. And Jobber is sent flying out!
Rhino: Jobber is hurting worse than before.. Who the hell was in that room?
Mark: I don’t know, but the door slams shut. McConnell getting back to his feet slowly.. Heads to a green door.. Throws it open.. Smoke just billowed out like a fog cloud!
Rhino: McConnells choking.. What the hell kind of room is that?
Mark: Someones coming through the smoke.. ..Hey! It’s Rob Van Dam!
Rhino: Smoke.. RVD.. Hah, a green room.
Mark: RVD and PYB exchanging words.. These two have no love loss.
Rhino: At the Jobbers versus Purgatory slaughterhouse, McConnell was a lumberjack as was RVD.. DX and RVD jumped him at the conclusion of the match.
Mark: RVD and PYB still arguing.. LOW BLOW! Jobber nailed a low blow on McConnell! RVD simply walks away and these two continue to go at it..
Rhino: Jobber took advantage of the situation..
Mark: Jobber leading McConnell down the hall, slamming his head on the wall again and again.. Jobber throws McConnell through a door.. It seems to be a huge bedroom of some sort..
Rhino: And in the Slaughterhouse, Bedrooms mean one thing..
Mark: I think you and Jobber are on the same wavelength.. Because he just flipped a bed of nails out of the wall!
Rhino: McConnell is in trouble..
Mark: Jobber hooks McConnell in a suplex.. RIGHT ONTO THE BED OF NAILS.. McConnell is in some serious pain!
Rhino: He’s lucky he still has a shirt on.
Mark: Jobber going for another suplex.. and it connects! McConnell over the bed of nails one more time!
Rhino: McConnell is writhing in pain now.
Mark: Jobber going for the trifecta.. McConnell blocks.. He turns Jobber around and pushes him away.. Jobber stumbling forward.. McConnell grabs Jobber by the back of the head and rams him right into a bedpost!
Rhino: There goes Jobbers shoulder..
Mark: McConnell gets Jobber up into a back suplex.. And rams him crotch first into the bed post.. good god, Jobbers in pain!
Rhino: Interesting use of bed post right there..
Mark: McConnell now looking around the room for something.. I guess something to attack Jobber with.. Oh my, look at what he found!
Rhino: It’s the EWA Classic.. The Playstation 2!
Mark: Jobber getting to his feet.. McConnell swings the PS2.. Jobber ducks! Kick to the gut.. Jobber grabs the PS2.. AND SMASHES IT OVER MCCONNELLS HEAD..
Rhino: The fact that that thing still works still amazes me..
Mark: Jobber drops the PS2 and walks over.. ..Good GOD.. Look at the size of that dresser..
Rhino: What the hell could he have in there?
Mark: Jobber searching through the drawers.. Hey, is that.. It is! It’s McConnell’s EBW Title!
Rhino: We’re getting retro up in here..
Mark: Jobber just tosses it away though.. He’s pulling something else out.. No way!
Rhino: The COW Championship? Good god, it IS retro in this place!
Mark: COW being Jobbers old backyard fed.. Wait.. McConnells grabbed the EBW Title and is getting to his feet.. Jobber turns around.. Both men charge.. And those titles just smacked over each others heads!
Rhino: So much for former glory..
Mark: Both men down now.. Jobber getting to his feet first.. He picks up McConnell.. Wait! Jobbers got McConnell hooked.. THE GIMMI-.. NO, MCCONNELL REVERSES.. He pushes Jobber away.. Jobber turns around.. Clothesline!
Rhino: Jobber just got laid out.
Mark: McConnell heads over to that dresser.. He’s gonna push it onto Jobber!
Mark: Jobber rolls out of the way.. HOLY SHIT.. IT CRASHED THROUGH THE FLOOR..
Rhino: That would’ve killed Jobber!
Mark: Jobber backing away from the hole in the floor.. Turns around.. 5 STAR SUPERKICK.. MCCONNELL WITH A SUPERKICK OUT OF NOWHERE.. Jobber is down!
Rhino: McConnell got the upper hand. He just needs to put Jobber away, but there’s STILL no ref.
Mark: McConnell now walking up to a set of doors. It’s a walk in closet.. Wait, what the hell? McConnell just pulled a casket from that closet!
Rhino: Looks like he had a bit of planning.
Mark: McConnell pushing the casket over towards the hole. Wait, Jobbers staggering to his feet. McConnell reaches down and grabs.. …A piece of paper? Jobber stumbles towards McConnell..
Rhino: PAPER CUT! McConnell gives Jobber a papercut!
Mark: Well… um… Right, then. Jobber getting a.. vicious.. paper cut from McConnell. McConnell slams Jobbers head onto that casket. Once, twice, three times.
Rhino: Jobber is in trouble after receiving that devastating paper cut.
Mark: McConnell throws open the casket lid. He slams places Jobbers head on the edge of that casket.. AND DAMN.. McConnell slams down that lid on Jobbers head!
Rhino: Jobber just went limp!
Mark: McConnell tosses Jobber into the casket and slams it shut. Hey, looks like somethings taped to it.
Rhino: There is.. it’s a lighter and lighter fluid!
Mark: We seen a flaming table earlier tonight. Now we’ve got a flaming casket!
Rhino: Not yet.
Mark: McConnell spraying down that casket.. it’s soaked in lighter fluid. Wait.. The caskets beginning to open! Jobbers alive!
Rhino: He’s back from the grave!
Mark: McConnell laying in hard rights to Jobber.. McConnell grabs a lamp and SMASHES IT OVER JOBBERS HEAD..
Rhino: …No he’s not.
Mark: Jobber is stuffed back into the casket. McConnell has just set that casket on fire!
Rhino: NOW We’ve got a flaming casket!
Mark: Wait.. What the hell is McConnell doing? He’s pushing that casket towards the hole in the floor!
(McConnell can be heard yelling)McConnell: SEE YOU IN HELL, JOBBER..
Rhino: This is insane!
Mark: OH MY GOD.. MCCONNELL PUSHED THAT CASKET THROUGH THE HOLE..
Rhino: DID YOU HEARD THAT CRASH?!
Mark: Look at McConnell’s face.. He enjoyed this..
Rhino: Jobber just got sent to hell.. Our camera looking down the hole.. Oh my god, Jobber went through to the basement!
Mark: Do we’ve got a camera down there?!
Rhino: I think we do..
Mark: We’re in the basement now.. Our cameraman has just thrown open a door and.. There’s Gravedigger!
Rhino: He’s got the refs shirt on! ..And there’s the casket! Jobber is in a heap limp body and burning wood!
Mark: Gravedigger is counting.. He’s counting SLOW.. Not like it matters.. Jobber is pretty much dead.. McConnell did what he said he was going to do..
Rhino: Gravedigger at 5 now..
Rhino: Wait, look who just came into the basement..
Mark: McConnell has made his way down stairs with that sick smile on his blood soaked face..
Rhino: ………………..9………………………………………………..10….. This match is over.
Mark: Gravedigger calling the match. McConnell yelling at the body of Jobber..
Rhino: He wants to know if Jobber had fun.
Mark: The casket has finally gone out. Now what’s McConnell doing?
Rhino: He’s shoving the remains of that casket AND Jobber towards Gravediggers grave.
Mark: And there he goes.. Jobber has just been unceremoniously shoved into that grave.
McConnell: Bury this sum’bitch!
Mark: McConnell has settled this just as he said. Jobber has been pretty much sent to hell.
Mark: Thats all the time we have ladies and gentlemen.. We’ll see you at the next EWA Event.. This is Mark, thats Rhino.. And this has been GLORY..