Mark: Welcome to Saturday Night Torture. I’m Mark, he’s Rhino, and we’ve got an action packed evening set in store for you tonight.
Rhino: That’s right Mark. Tonight we get to see Stewie Franchize try once again for the Total Impact championship against the champion Lone Jobber in our main event. Also on the card, who will end up staking the claim to face Lone Jobber for his other championship, the EWA World Heavyweight title. Will it be PyroManiAxe or the former champion Big Daddy Ace?
Mark: Ace has been looking to having his chance ever since the Bowl. PyroManiAxe is looking to make up for his loss back at Halloween Hellraiser . I’m exited to find out if who will get their chance…
Rhino: I’m excited as well and from all of us here, we continue to wish Alan Matthews a speedy recovery. Lets get to the opening contest.
William McConnell vs Kronik vs Demon Child
Pa Announcer:Tonight’s Opening Contest is set for one fall…Introducing first.. From Springfield, Ma… Weighing in at 210 Pounds… KRONIK!
(“Pushin’ Limits” plays as Kronik enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His Opponent…
“There’s a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can’t take part! You can’t even passively take part! And you’ve got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels…upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you’ve got to make it stop!”
Pa Announcer:From Evansville, Indiana… Weighing in at 230 Pounds…WILLIAM McCONNELL!
(“Wretches & Kings” plays as William McConnell enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:Their opponent… From Parts Unknown… Weighing in at 269 Pounds… DEMON CHILD!
(“Remember The Name” plays as Demon Child enters the arena…)
Mark: You can tell that this was a match that Demon was looking forward to as history doesn’t remember him meeting up with McConnell being a positive one.
Rhino: Demon still has a branding from that maniacs hands. Will being the coward that he is though and staying outside the ring, looking to let the other two men start the action.
Mark: Kronik and Demon tie up in the middle of the ring, Kronik shoving Demon off with ease. Demon back up, rushes in head strong, Kronik ducks, runs after, big closeline.
Rhino: Demon didn’t even see him coming.
Mark: He’s now laying the boots into Demon. Kronik picking Demon up, whips him into the turnbuckle. Kronik rushing in, splash…
Rhino: No body home. Demon dropped to the mat at the very last second. Demon walking around the outside, trying to catch his breath.
Mark: But when you are in a den of snakes, you have to keep your eyes peeled as from behind comes McConnell. McConnell pushes Demon head first into the ring post. McConnell lifts Demon up, scoop slams him back down. Look up, Kronik is on the turnbuckle.
Rhino: McConnell, holding Demon’s feet, incoming.. no McConnell the backstabbing bitch.
Mark: Kronik went for a big splash but McConnell pulled Demon out of the way causing Kronik to crash and burn. Will’s got Demon up and sends him into the ring.
Rhino: With Kronik now down, this might be the time for Will to end things his way.
Mark: Demon fighting to a vertical base. Just a flurry of punches, one hits one, rocks McConnell. McConnell staggering backwards, super kick, no Demon catches it, pulls McConnell to the ground.
Rhino: Demon Child showing his MMA stylings, catching that kick of McConnell’s and turning it into a tight leg lock. Just look at McConnell’s face, he’s shocked that Demon is putting him into so much pain.
Mark: McConnell doing whatever he can to crawl to the ropes, and he makes it. Demon has to break the hold of be disqualified.
Rhino: For Demon this match is personal but he’s not dumb enough to get dq’ed.
Mark: He’s broken the hold and waits for McConnell to get back to his feet, but here comes Kronik, Kronik with a big hurricanana. Demon starting to get back, no low drop kick to Demon.
Rhino: You could tell he was looking to put McConnell away, but Demon’s tunnel vision has cost him a couple times in this match.
Mark: Kronik, waiting for Demon to get back to his feet, Reverse Twist of Fate.
Rhino: He got all of that.
Mark: Kronik going for the pin. 1…..2…. no at the last second Demon kicks out. Kronik is saying that this is all. Kronik sizing him up, goes for the Kronik Kick..
Rhino: No.. McConnell being an unlikely saviour of Demon, clocking Kronik with a superkick.
Mark: Kronik is wavering, McConnell is looks to be looking for the Dual Shock, crack and spla…
Rhino: Demon with a roll up.. 1……. 2…… 3……
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner Demon Child!
Mark: I don’t believe it, McConnell doesn’t believe it. Lets have a look on instant replay to see exactly what just happened.
Rhino: Well right there you see McConnell holding Kronik for the Dual Shock, there is the back breaker, and… there.
Mark: I see it, just as he went for the second half of the move Demon slipped in behind him and rolled him up. An impressive win by the Demon, you know McConnell won’t just let this one slip.
Rhino: For a man who claims to have gone a year without a loss, THAT was a big one.
Calvin Lumas vs Troy Joseph
Mark: I’m getting word before the next match, we have to go to the back. Kent, are you there?
Kent: I’m here Mark. As you can see around me, trainers and security personal are doing their best to put some distance between Total Impact and World Champion Lone Jobber and his number one contendor, Stewie Franchize.
Rhino: Kent, it’s Rhino, can you tell us what sparked all this?
Kent: Reports are sketchy at the moment but it seems that Lone Jobber went to the locker rooms of Lumas and Troy Joseph to get to bottom of why he hadn’t shown up earlier this week when Franchize sprang on him. The two men would brawl for a short time before Jobber would try for the Low Card, however Franchize pulled Rampage in front of him, forcing him to take the shot for him. We’re told that he’s okay, however the match up between him and Lumas has been canceled. Security personal are doing what they can to keep Jobber and Franchize apart for the time being. If I find out anything else, I’ll be sure to send note to you guys.
Mark: Thanks Kent.
Rhino: You have to know with Jobber and Rampage’s camaraderie that this is just yet another log on the fire between the champion and his challenger.
Mark: Not like it needed it, it’s already an inferno between the two. Speaking about men who will challenge the Lone Jobber for a championship, the number one contenders match is next.
Number One Contenders Match for the EWA World Heavyweight Championship
Alan Matthews vs PyroManiAxe vs Big Daddy Ace
Pa Announcer:This next contest is a Number One Contenders Match for the EWA World Heavyweight Championship…Introducing first… From Lotus Pod… Weighing in at 245 Pounds… PYROMANIAXE!
(“Assassins” plays as PyroManiAxe enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent…From Boston, Mass.. Weighing in at 273 Pounds…The EWA World Heavyweight Champion…BIG DADDY ACE!
(“Made of Scars” plays as Big Daddy Ace enters the arena…)
Mark: And then their was two. You would have to think that this is one of the most important matches in either man’s career right here and now.
Rhino: It’s big no doubt about it. On one hand you have Pyro, a young man just waiting to break through, who knows he only needs to have that chance. On the other, Big Daddy Ace, a multitime champion, the man who thankfully ended McConnell reign. He claims that Lone Jobber won the Bowl, yes, but he didn’t actually beat him. This match, this sets the path of one of these two men to the champion.
Mark: Here we go, Ace starting to nail Pyro with some rights.
Rhino: Those will wake you up.
Mark: And wake up it seems PyroManiAxe did. Pyro coming in, ducks Ace’s swing, rabbit punches and jumps away.
Rhino: Pyro knows that in a straight up fist fight, he’s no match for Ace, he’s got to stick and move. If he can stay out of Ace’s reach, he could wear the Boston Badass down and go in for the kill.
Mark: It seems Pyro is doing just that, dancing around him. Pyro with a big dropkick, sending Ace into the corner. Pyro charging in, jumps and starts laying in the punches.,.
Rhino: Ace just pushes him off.
Mark: But Pyro jumping back onto Ace yet again. Big Daddy Ace on the defenses, pushes Pyro back off of him. Pyro, one more ti- NO!
Rhino: Big spear by the former World Champion. Pyro went back to the well one too many times as they would say.
Mark: Pyro has rolled out to clear the cobwebs as Ace continues to get the crowd pumped up.
Rhino: Pyro needs to get back to the stick and move…
Mark: This might be his change.. Ace doesn’t see that Pyro has gotten up on the ring apron, Ace turns around, Pyro off the turnbuckle, crossbody… he caught him…
Rhino: Pyro flailing around, trying to elbow Ace…
Mark: Ace with an impressive show of strength tossing Pyro onto his shoulders… Elbows and knees from Pyro, he knows what’s coming…
Rhino: ACE CRUSHER! Ace with the pin….. 1……..2 …….. 3…..
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and number one contender for the EWA World Championship, Big Daddy Ace
Mark: Ace with a quick pinfall.
Rhino: It really was. At this time we would like to take a minute to send a shout out the Wild Talk Radio Network. Check them out.
Mark: Are you really trying to fill time?
Rhino: Partly, but did you know that they have some big time stars on some of their programming from all over the world of professional wrestling, including the man we just saw.
Mark: Nice save.
Rhino: After Lone Jobber stopped his quest of retaining at least until Glory, Ace looks more focused than ever before. Jobber is going to have a hard time with this one.
Mark: So…. how’s your March Madness bracket coming?
Rhino: Horrible. Have to hope Gonzaga takes out Wichita next week or my entire bracket is crap. Speaking about March Madness though, this is a good time as any to remind everyone that you can go to Archive.EWAzone.com for all the footage of past events.
Mark: Except, you know, monthly events like March Madness. To think that we stopped having the whole “one event a month” thing.
Rhino: Didn’t help that the footage took forever to get released.
Mark: Never happen here. So have we wasted enough time. Time to get to our final bout for the EWA Total Impact Championship.
EWA Total Impact Championship Match
Lone Jobber(c) vs $tewie Franchize
Pa Announcer:Tonight’s Main is for the EWA Total Impact Championship Championship… Introducing first… Introducing first…The Challenger… From Manhattan, New York… Weighing in at 242 Pounds… $TEWIE FRANCHIZE!
(“Power” plays over the PA System)
Mark: One second wrestling fans, I’m getting word from the back Rhino.
Rhino: We have a camera crew back there?
Mark: Yes we do, it seems that Lone Jobber ended up meeting up once again with Stewie Franchize. Their brawl is back on.
Rhino: I see. Franchize and Jobber just slugging it out in the back. Ow, Franchize just smashed Jobber face first into the concrete wall.
Mark: This feud between these two men has been months in the making, like his actions or not, Franchize seems to be done playing Mister Nice-Guy. Franchize leading Jobber by the hair, there they are, up in the crowd.
Rhino: Security seems to have just given up trying to separate the two men and instead trying to hold the fans back for their safety.
Mark: Franchize continues to lead a dazed Jobber, Jobber frees himself, kicks Franchize away, Franchize teetering on the steps, Jobber rushes in, oh lord. Jobber tackled him down.
Rhino: No, not tackled, he just ran full bore, grabbed Franchize and let him momentum take them tumbling down the steps.
Mark: You’ve got to remember Rhino, this match hasn’t even officially started and the two men don’t seem to be.. no Jobber starting to get to his feet now.
Rhino: He might be, but you can tell by the road rash trashing that his and Franchize’s body took tumbling down those stairs had done their work.
Mark: Lone Jobber moving people away, he’s got a chair, Franchize starting to get up, Jobber is measuring him, swing, halted…
Rhino: Once again, Franchize tried using a human shield, in this case a young boy forcing Jobber to put on the breaks.
Mark: Franchize pushes the kid out of the way and pounces on Jobber. He’s got that chair and drives it into the Lone Jobber’s back. Franchize with jabs to the Jobber’s ribs, now he’s walking away?!
Rhino: He knows the match needs to begin for any of this to work out in his favor, he’s making his way to the ring.
Mark: Jobber, slowly, getting back to his feet, following. Franchize is here, Jobber, running, jumps from a chair onto the ringside barrier, leap of faith, he’s.. got him.
Rhino: Big diving ddt there onto Franchize. That could have worked out a lot worse for him.
Mark: You can see the pain in his eyes, how he’s holding his chest that he isn’t doing good as Jobber rises. Jobber goes to check under the ring. Lone Jobber pulling out what looks to be one of his staple weapons, a glass baseball bat.
Rhino: For such a big match, not surprised that he got one for Franchize, the bullet with his name on it, he called them.
Mark: Jobber waiting for Franchize, Franchize slowly getting to his feet, Jobber pointing out into the crowd with the bat, Jobber rushes in, swings… Franchize ducks. Franchize turns to Jobber, grabs the top of the bat.
Rhino: It’s a tug of war for that glass weapon.
Mark: Franchize lets him have it, driving what he held right into Jobber’s face. Jobber stumbles badk and now it’s Franchize who has the baseball bat. Franchize with a big shot to Jobber’s gut. The Total Impact champion on all fours now, and Franchize shatters the bat over Jobber’s back. He’s down.
Rhino: Franchize stumbling around, goes to sit on the ring steps. He’s finally having a chance to check himself out for the first time since their tumble earlier. Franchize looking at Jobber, and now, the referee.
Mark: Stewie telling the ref to end the match, that Jobber is clearly gone but as the referee reminds him, the match hasn’t yet officially began. Franchize getting back up, he looks now to be trying to roll Jobber closer to the ring.
Rhino: Jobber’s starting to get up, Frnachize drives his head into the ring side and rolls him in. Franchize now looking like he’s going to get a chair, a little insurance policy if you ask me.
Mark: Well he’s got it, and now with Franchize sliding inside the ring, the referee officially calls for the bell to begin this bout. Franchize rushes in with the chair, Jobber ducks, Franchize turns around, Low Card.
Rhino: He didn’t get it all but he got enough for Franchize to drop the chair. And would you look at the smile on his face.
Mark: Lone Jobber kicks Stewie Franchize in the gut, looks like he’s going to be setting him up with the Heirtage right above the chair. Franchize back body drops him. Jobber rolling out of the apron.
Rhino: Franchize looked defeat in the eyes and told it no, not tonight.
Mark: Franchize getting back up, springboard gimmick from the outside!
Rhino: As Jobber starts to pull himself to his feet, our referee goes to check in on Franchize, he says he can continue as Stewie begins to stir.
Mark: Jobber wondering what he will have to do to retain his championship. Jobber trying to get Franchize to his feet, Franchize grabs him, out of no where, T-Bone suplex.
Rhino: You can see that that desperation move took a lot of Franchize.
Mark: Franchize getting to his feet, looks to be measuring Jobber up, Executive Action! Franchize looking around for something, seems he’s found that chair. Franchize looking at the closest turnbuckle and sets unfolds it.
Rhino: He’s here to end it. Seven and a half months ago, Lone Jobber took the Total Impact championship from him, he looks to be doing the same here. Franchize dragging Jobber over to the turnbuckle.
Mark: I’m not sure what Franchize has in mind but he’s pulling Jobber up to the top. Wait..
Rhino: Can he really be looking for it, Franchize it seems looking to put him away with a top rope Hostile Takeout onto that chair.
Mark: This will be over when he hits that… if he hits that. Jobber seeming to come to. Their battling, Jobber now sees the chair. Jobber… big jumping DDT… they went crashing through the chair. There is no way either man…
Rhino: Mark, look, Jobber still as it locked in, the jumping DDT transitioned into a guillotine.
Mark: So he does. The referee checking in on Stewie Franchize..
Rhino: And he’s calling for the bell.. It’s over!
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner, and STILL EWA Total Impact Champion LONE JOBBER!
Rhino: Lone Jobber, refusing to release the hold.
(“Made of Scars” plays as Big Daddy Ace enters the arena…)
Mark: That got him to let him go. There he is, the number one contender for the EWA World Championship staring a hole through the champion.
Rhino: Ace clearly wants his chance, and that smile could be nothing but that Jobber wants Ace to try his luck one more time.
Mark: That’s all the time we got tonight, for Rhino, I’m Mark, saying that we will see you next time.