Vicious Excitement 2001 (06-30-01)
Mark:Welcome everyone to the Cow Palace in San Francisco… I am Mark and you know my partner in crime… The Number One Suck Up in the land Rhino…
Rhino:It does not hurt to brown nose…
Mark:Well tonight we have big time matches… Tonight we will see… An Iron Man Match between eWa World Champion Shawn Michaels and his challenger Omega…
Rhino:The big question on everyone’s mind is will the big man Omega be able to out last the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels…
Mark:Also for the first time ever it will be Rob Van Dam battling Shadow for the first time in the US… In an Explosion Match up…
Rhino:That has stolen the show in Japan and it is now time for it to steal the show here in our land… The United States of America and only here… In the Extreme Wrestling Alliance…
Mark:Also we will see Triple H defend his FTW Title… No Holds Barred against Sid… With many Degeneration X members around ringside…
Rhino:Will Triple H’s FTW Title reign last much longer as he goes at it with Sid Vicious… I personally hope that Sid… Takes the belt from the game… So a New Era can begin here in the eWa…
Mark:Plus many other big time matches to come here tonight… So lets head to the ring for our opening match at Vicious Excitement… Lets send it up to our new PA Announcer Brad Anderson…
Singapore Cane on a Poll Match
Justin Credible vs Nuclear Bomb
Pa Announcer:Ladies and Gentlemen the opening match at Vicious Excitement is a Singapore Cane on a Poll Match and is set for one fall… The rules are simple… The first man to get the cane can use it on their opponent… Introducing first from Ozone Park, New York… Weighing in tonight at 225 pounds… JUSTIN CREDIBLE
(Walk/DX Remix hits as Justin Credible makes his way towards the ring…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent…From Chicago,IL… He is weighing in tonight at 200 pounds NUCLEAR BOMB…
Mark:(Bell Sounds)As you see the Singapore Cane is hanging in right corner of the ring…
Rhino:The Singapore Cane has always been the weapon of choice for Justin Credible… But I think Nuclear Bomb has some plans for that Singapore Cane and they involve Justin Credible…
Mark:Justin and Nuclear Bomb tie it up with a collar and elbow… Justin applies a side headlock to NB… Nuclear Bomb pushes him off in to the ropes… Leap frog by Justin Credible… Nuclear Bomb nails a monkey flip that sends Justin Credible bouncing off the ropes…
Rhino:That sure aint fun…
Mark:Nuclear Bomb picks up Justin Credible and drops him face first off the ropes… Nuclear Bomb delivers a right hand that takes Justin Credible down… Justin gets whipped off the ropes… Back Body Drop and Justin Credible rolls to the outside…
Rhino:Justin Credible is a veteran and I believe he wants to slow down the pace of this match up…
Mark:If it keeps going this pace… Justin Credible has no shot…
Rhino:I have a question… Since Justin is on the outside… Why doesnt Nuclear Bomb go after the Singapore Cane…
Mark:Good Question that I dont have an answer for… Justin Credible rolls back in to the ring… A Collar and Elbow tie up again… Nuclear Bomb is backing Justin in to the ropes… The ref is breaking them up…
Rhino:Justin Credible with a thumb to the eye of Nuclear Bomb…
Mark:Justin now hammers in with right hands before he sends him in to the ropes and hits a dropkick… Justin Credible drops the leg on Nuclear Bomb… Justin now stomps a way at Nuclear Bomb in the ring…
Rhino:Justin has found the pace of the match he likes…
Mark:Justin Credible picks up Nuclear Bomb and drops him with a brainbuster…
Rhino:Justin says he is done and is heading to the top to get the singapore cane…
Mark:Nuclear Bomb is back up and has stop Justin from climbing the ropes to get the cane… Justin is now on the shoulders of Nuclear Bomb and Nuclear Bomb drops him backwards and both men hit the mat hard…
Rhino:Nice attempt to stop Justin but not the smartest move to do…
Mark:Justin and Nuclear Bomb back to their feet… Nuclear Bomb though is up first and delivers a clothesline to Justin Credible…
Rhino:Nuclear Bomb is now going to get the cane…
Mark:Nuclear Bomb grabs the Singapore cane and is now able to use it on Justin Credible…
Rhino:Justin sees the cane and rolls to the outside…
Mark:Justin reaches under the ring and grabs a Singapore Cane of his own…
Rhino:It looks we are going to have an old fashion dual…
Mark:Both Men and dueling it out with the Singapore canes… Nuclear Bomb knocks the cane out of Justins hand…
Rhino:Justin is on his knees begging for Nuclear Bomb not to hit him… I say hit him though…
Mark:Low Blow by Justin Credible and now Justin grabs the cane and begins to whack Nuclear Bomb with the Cane… Justin Credible has almost broken the cane on the back of Nuclear Bomb…
Rhino:Justin Credible is heading to the top rope…
Mark:Nuclear Bomb is staggering to his feet… What a Shot to the head by Justin Credible with that Singapore Cane…
Rhino:Nuclear Bomb is out Mark…
Mark;Justin says thats it but picks up Nuclear Bomb… THATS INCREDIBLE on Nuclear Bomb and its over now… 1…………………….2……………………3…….
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner JUSTIN CREDIBLE…
Rhino:Tonight DX Member Justin Credible… Was JUST INCREDIBLE…
Mark:Well Shane O Mac has something to say so lets send it back to Shane O Mac…
Shane:Thanks Mark… Well tonight is finally here and we have just seeing DX Member Justin Credible pull one out of Nuclear Bomb… With tonight… Many are wondering what Rob Parks may say… And what he may not say here tonight… I can tell you that Rob is infact here and he is ready to answer the questions… Also many are wondering how Degeneration X will be involved in the No Holds Barred Match later tonight… Well I have decided that Rob Van Dam will be the Special Guest commentating since he did one hell of a job the last time in the Triple Threat Match at Tuesday Night Carnage… Also Stone Cold Steve Austin and Chyna… Well I havent thought of a plan for them… So they get to watch it in the back for now… Now on to Justin Credible… I guess old JC will be the special guest ring announcer for that contest… Now how about a referee… We know that HBK has turned the job down… But who will it be… Well… I will let you guys know… But now let me turn it back over to Mark and Rhino…
Rhino:Shane O Mac is laying it down tonight…
Mark:Lets get back to the ring to the Pa Announcer as the Casket is being rolled down towards the ring…
Smashing Caskets Match
Diamond Dallas Page vs Stone Cold Steve Austin
Pa Announcer:Ladies and Gentlemen this next match is a Smashing Caskets Match… The object for this match up is to lock your opponent in the casket and smash it with a sledge hammer while your opponent is inside… Now introducing first From the Jersey Shore… Weighing in at 253 pounds… DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE…
(“Self High Five” hits as DDP makes his way towards the ring…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Victoria Texas weighing in at 252 pounds Stone Cold Steve Austin…
(“Glass” hits as Stone Cold Steve Austin makes his way to the ring…)
Mark:The bell has sounded and we are underway… Austin goes at DDP with right hands to start this match off… Austin knocks DDP down with a right hand… DDP is backing up in the corner…
Rhino:Stone Cold just told the crowd they are number One…
Mark:Austin turns around and DDP comes out of the corner with a running clothesline…DDP whips Stone Cold in to the ropes… Back Body Drop… Austin is now back off in to the corner…
Rhino:Austin is begging DDP not to hit him…
Mark:Austin hits a low blow… And a clothesline that takes DDP down… Austin puts the boots to DDP…Austin picks up DDP and hangs him up in a vertical suplex… Austin comes off the ropes and drives the point of the elbow to the heart of Diamond Dallas Page… Austin sends DDP in to the corner and begins to stomp away at the midsection of DDP…
Rhino:Stone Cold again tells the crowd they are number one…
Mark:Austin charges in at DDP… DDP puts his feet up and Austin runs in to the boot of DDP… DDP with a clothesline that takes him down… DDP whips Austin back in to the ropes… Powerslam by DDP…
Rhino:DDP is calling for the diamond cutter…
Mark:DDP goes for the Diamond Cutter… Austin pushes him off in to the ropes… Austin gives him a kick… DDP blocks the stunner… Austin goes for a right… DDP moves… DIAMOND CUTTER…
Rhino:He never saw it coming… And neither did we…
Mark:DDP is telling the official to open the casket… Austin is rolled in side…
Rhino:DDP just has to smash the casket and he is our winner…
Mark:DDP smashes the casket with the sledgehammer… The ref has called for the bell…
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE…
Rhino:DDP took out Austin 3:16…
Mark:Well as they wheel Austin to the back we would like to remind you that we have a website… Its redesigned and its ready to go… So check it out at www.eWazone.com… Now lets head back to the ring for more action…
Hardcore Fatal Four Way Match
Hardcore Kid vs Razor Ramon vs Jerry Lawler vs Mr. Perfect
Pa Announcer:This next match is a HARDCORE FATAL FOUR WAY MATCH… Introducing first… From Miami, Florida… Weighing in at 287 Pounds… Da Bad Guy… RAZOR RAMON
(“Razor” hits as Razor Ramon makes his way towards the ring…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Memphis, Tennessee…Weighing in tonight at 277 pounds… JERRY “The King” LAWLER…
(“Royalty” hits as The King makes his way towards the ring…)
Pa Announcer:Their opponent… From Minneapolis, Minnesota… Weighing in at 266 pounds MR. PERFECT…
(“Perfection” hits as Mr. Perfect makes his way towards the ring…)
Pa Announcer:And their opponent… From Dallas Texas… Weighing in at 190 pounds THE HARDCORE KID…
(“Hardcore” hits as Hardcore Kid makes his way to the ring…)
Mark:(Bell Sounds)Well this match up is under way… All four men are staring each other down…
Rhino:All four men have found a corner for themselves…
Mark:Here we go… Razor and The King and Pefect and Hardcore Kid… Razor and The King battling it out… The King takes over on the bad guy and clotheslines him out of the ring… Hardcore Kid with a dropkick that takes Mr. Perfect off of his feet… Hardcore Kid rolls to the outside and is bringing in some goodies…
Rhino:It looks like a chair… A Trash Can… and a Kendo Stick…
Mark:What an odd combination… Hardcore Kid picks up the trash can and smashes it over the head of perfect…
Rhino:Razor and The King seem to be fighting all the way to the backstage area…
Mark:Hardcore Kid picks up Perfect and sets him up on the top turnbuckle… The Hardcore Kid lays the trash can out… Frankensteiner off the top rope on to the trash can…
Rhino:That is gonna hurt tomorrow…
Mark:Hardcore Kid has the chair… Hardcore Kid whips Perfect in to the ropes… Flying Chair Shot by the Hardcore Kid…
Rhino:I am being told that Razor and The King have started a fight in the back…
Mark:But we got a hardcore ass whipping here… Hardcore Kid picks up Perfect and slams him down hard on that dentit trash can…
Rhino:Mr. Perfect is hurt Mark…
Mark:Hardcore Kid sets up a chair and is heading to the top rope with Mr. Perfect…
Rhino:I think I know what he is about to do…
Mark:Face buster on to the chair from the top rope… OH MY GOD… Cover 1………….2…………………………3……..
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner HARDCORE KID…
Rhino:I Believe that move is called the CHAIR SHOT…
Mark:Mr. Perfect is gonna be sore tomorrow…
Rhino:You can say that again…
Mark:Officials seperate Razor and The King…
Rhino:This is something unsettled their…
Mark:Lets head back to the ring for more action…
Battle of the Big Men Match
The Undertaker vs Jack Flash vs Big Show
Pa Announcer:This next match is a Triple Threat Match and is set for one fall… Introducing first… From Death Valley… THE UNDERTAKER…
(“Darkness” hits as The Undertaker makes his way to the ring…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Tampa, Florida… Weighing in at 500 pounds… THE BIG SHOW…
(“Showtime” hits as The Big Show makes his way towards the ring…)
Pa Announcer:And their opponent…From Dallas Texas… Weighing in at 550 Pounds… JACK FLASH…
(“Flash” hits as Jack Flash makes his way to the ring…)
Mark:The bell has sounded here in this match up…
Rhino:For the first time ever… The Big Show isnt the biggest man in a match up… The Big Show is looking up at Jack Flash…
Mark:Jack Flash the new comer here in the eWa… Is 7 foot 7 inches and weighs 550 pounds… I think he might have the advantage…
Rhino:He might… He does has the advantage…
Mark:Big Show and Taker are staring down Jack Flash… Show connects with a right hand to Jack Flash… Taker with a thrust to the throat that sort of staggers the big man…
Rhino:Which big man… They are all big men…
Mark:Good point made rhino… Taker and Big Show hammer in on Jack Flash… Show and Taker whip Flash in to the ropes… Taker and Show go for a double clothesline… Jack Flash ducks… And hits a clothesline on Taker and Show…
Rhino:Jack Flash is showing us what he is made of…
Mark:Jack Flash grabs the Big Show by the Hair and drops him down with a DDT… Jack Flash now picks up the Undertaker and slams him down hard … The Undertaker sits back up and gets in the face of Jack Flash… Taker grabs him by the neck and tries to pick up Jack Flash for a chokeslam…
Rhino:I dont think he could do it…
Mark:Big Show back up and is now going to help Taker Chokeslam Jack Flash… DOUBLE CHOKESLAM by Taker and Show…
Rhino:What a move by Show and Taker…
Mark:Jack Flash is done and could be out… Taker and Show now battling it out… Show picks up The Undertaker in a military Press… And he throws him to the outside…
Rhino:Jack Flash is back up…
Mark:Jack Flash grabs Big Show by the neck… Baldo Bomb by Jack Flash and goes in to a cover… 1…………………..2……………………….3………
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner JACK FLASH…
Rhino:Jack Flash showed that he is the best Big Man here in the eWa…
Mark:Well the cage has lowered so I guess Rob is about to answer some questions…
(“Schism” plays as Rob Parks, EWA president, walks out of the backstage wearing a navy blue suit designed by Armani. The fans are cheering, the pay-per-view has been living up to it’s name. The cage starts to lower as Rob gets in the ring. Two cold, steel chairs are set up in the middle of the ring. Rob looks at the chairs and the cage slowly coming down over the ring. He steps into the ring and takes a seat grabbing a mic.)
The BIG SHOW and JERRY LAWLER’S step from out the entryway and ask their question. They ask who do you think is the most creative competitor here in the EWA at present time.
Rob Parks: (clears his throat) Um..I think the most creative competitor we have at the present time is Jerry Lawler. I mean listen to those jokes that he spits out, you have to be creative to come up with those. I lose my breath laughing from them the whole time. He is a funny guy, truly.
(Happy with the answer, Jerry and Big Show leave. Next comes seven feet plus of pure trouble. OMEGA. His questions are sure to be interesting.)
Omega: Okay Jackass. Why don’t you want me doin’ any high flyin’ stuff? Hell, I know I can do some stuff. You know I can do some stuff. So why you want to save your fellow athlete’s asses by havin’ me do typical big man moves? It ya want a great federation, take the damn safe shit and toss that son bitch outta the window and let me uncork on these mothafuckahs! I mean No Holds Barred matches? Disqualification? What the fuck? Did rules sneak a dick up your rear or what?
Rob Parks: Sid…have you ever seen your partner up close? If he did a high flying move the ring would probably break from all that weight coming down in one massive plunge.
Omega: Reinforce that mothafuckah then, damn it! Why you talkin’ to Sid for? He ain’t out here yet.
Rob Parks: Omega, you want to make a match, you want to make your own rules. I cannot stop you, Degeneration X doesn’t follow the rules so why does Omega or Sid or anyone for that matter have to follow them anyway. The book has thrown in the paper shredder a long time ago.
Omega: I don’t believe a damn bit of it. You know, you gotta do somethin’ about the competition around here. Try to find a stupid fuck that’s near my level, damn it. Is that too much to ask? I tell you what. Line any jackass up. I really don’t give a damn no more. After GraveDigger’s bitch ass little comments, I’m ready to casket fit mothafuckas in this bitch. So put somebody in my way so I can mow that son bitch over and don’t forget the fuckin’ body bags. In fact, me and Sid have yet to show what we can do as a tag team so line two poor jackasses up and watch them get dissected.
Rob Parks: Omega I tell you what you name who your opponents are, and the type of match and next card you got it. Tag team opponents, like I said there are no rules here in the EWA anymore, run through them. Next question, if you don’t mind.
Omega: Okay, wise ass, do you actually do shit around here? Recruitin’? Haven’t seen shit from you in that category. Website work? Haven’t done that either. Grab your nuts and ask the mothafucka for the password to you can work on it too and if you fuck up, I’m sure the guy will fix the problem. That’s what good webmasters do. How about booking? You know, the shit me and Sid did at Once And For All. Do that shit. Make a damn card.
Rob Parks: What kind of fucking question is that?
Omega: It’s a legit one, damn it.
Rob Parks: I sign the fucking paychecks, I allow all of your asses to work in this company.
Omega: Big fuckin’ deal!
Rob Parks: I’m not a fucking web nerd, and as for booking, I will book a card soon. I have vastly done my fucking share of this business. Omega, have you even seen a computer? You wouldn’t even know the first think about balancing financial books, and the only recruiting that you have seen is being a bouncer for a club.
Omega: Then make the son bitch soon, lazy shit head. Last question, jackass. I hate to admit it but I had fun doin’ that inter-fed bullshit. Loco was the best thing goin’ for the HHO and I aced his ass no problem. When is that shit gonna happen again?
Rob Parks: You sure like to run your big mouth, don’t you? I have been in contact with the WCWF, but I will need some feedback from the current EWA roster to see if we want to go dominate another fed.
Omega: Feedback? I say we go stomp mudholes in the son bitches, walk it dry, piss in it to make it wet again then walk that damn thing dry again and that’s all I got to spit on that. Thanks for nothing, bastard.
(Omega walks away somewhat happy….well…at least as happy as he gets considering his attitude. Sid’s “psycho” music from the WWF begins to play. He comes out with the same glazed look in his eyes he’s had for the past few weeks. He gets into the cage and sits directly in one of the chairs and stares into the eyes of Rob Parks.)
Sid: Time and personal problems have reduced your federation activities to a point of nonexistence. This hurt the federation. Was it your intention to hurt the federation?
Rob Parks: It never is the intention to hurt the business that you are running, but when personal matters get in the way, you must make some sacrifices along the way to help better your situation. Here’s a question for you Sid, it is a rhetorical so don’t answer it. Is it YOUR intention to hurt this federation? In the long run how many people have you taken off to the hospital, so the EWA can may enormous amounts of money on health insurance and hospital bills.
Sid: I can’t help it. I’m not the same man I was when I entered the EWA. I’m a mere puppet to the greater personality. On the subject of federation harm, when people join, they see the staff with almost all the titles. In a way, this discourages people from joining the federation. Why do you insist on booking yourselves in the main event when you know it discourages some?
Rob Parks: I’m stepping out of character as president and into the man on this one to answer it. Yeah, most of the staff has the belts. There is a reason for that, it is called WE WORK. Now you don’t have to spit 5 or 6 promos out a day, but when you do spit a promo out make sure it has quality all over it. Most of the guys who whine and complain about losing matches don’t do what it takes or they just don’t manage to beat the other opponent. Now I know people have conflicts, I do to. I work 35+ weeks being a server and I still find time to at least put in one descent quality promo. Putting us in the main event is being realistic. It should discourage everyone, but they should use that discouragement to put life into their promos and start to win matches.
Sid: I see your point. Another question of harm. An inactive president will harm a federation no matter how good the fed is. What major change will you make to get things going again?
Rob Parks: Changes to make? Well, I guess I was going to save it but in 4 weeks, July 21st EWA will be holding a Tournament of Champions. All the past and recent title holders will be in this card as well as two wildcard spots for the midlevel and non-title holders. Those cards will be drawn next card, so that means the main eventers and all title holders after this pay-per-view have a break to get ready for the tournament. All the titles will be on the line, the final match will be a match that will send shockwaves around the wrestling world. The final match will be a battle royal, where a NEW EWA title will be presented to the winner of this battle royal.
Sid: It sounds promising. Last question….for now. There’s a certain resident psycho set to make his in-ring return soon. Will it be possible? I hear the federation limit of talent is two.
Rob Parks: Sid….as you and everyone else knows here in the EWA. Anything….can happen.
Mark:WOW… What statements made by Rob here tonight…
Rhino:Rob Parks has laided out many plans for the future of the eWa and it looks like Rob is looking to take back his company…
Mark:Especially with the event entitled the Tournament of Champions… That should be something special…
Rhino:Like Rob said anything can happen here in the eWa…
Mark:Well the ring is being setup for the Explosion Match…
Explosion Match for the eWa Television Title
Rob Van Dam(c) vs Shadow
Pa Announcer:This next match is an Explosion Match for the eWa Television Title… The rules of this Explosion Match are very simple… As you can see there are wooden planks surrounding the ring and also inside the ring…When a wrestler gets thrown on one they will explode… The Person who is able to pin their opponent in 10 minutes will be the eWa Television Champion… If no one is able to pin their opponent the match will be declare a draw… Now introducing First… The Challenger… For Hell… HE IS SHADOW…
(Shadow’s theme hits as he makes his way towards the ring…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Battle Creak, Michigan… Weighing in at 237 pounds… He is the eWa Television Champion… ROB VAN DAM…
(“Walk” hits as Rob Van Dam makes his way to the ring wearing the TV Title and carring a chair…)
Mark:(Bell Sounds) The Clock has started here as these men have ten minutes to pin one another…
Rhino:The big hit in Japan… With an eWa Twist… It cant get any better than this…
Mark:RVD looks up at Shadow and slaps him in the face… RVD runs off the ropes and nails a spinwheel Kick… Shadow doesnt fall but RVD hits the planks and what an explosion in the ring…
Rhino:A move like that can either hurt Shadow or can backfire and hurt Rob Van Dam like it just did…
Mark:RVD slow to his feet as Shadow grabs him by the throat… Low kick by RVD to get out of the feet of Shadow… RVD goes for another kick… Shadow catches the foot… Enziguri by RVD and that knocks Shadow down…
Rhino:Bam what an explosion as Both RVD and Shadow hit the mat…
Mark:RVD crawls over and tries to make a cover and does but only gets a two count… RVD whips Shadow in to the corner… Monkey Flip by RVD and another bomb goes off in the ring…
Rhino:These bombs hurt the wrestler more than the actual move…
Mark:RVD gets the chair that he brought down to the ring with him… Throws it at Shadow… VAN DAMINATOR…
Rhino:Both men are down now…
Mark:Their is about four minutes remaining in the match as these moves these two have done have slowed each other down…
Rhino:Shadow is trying to get up after the van daminator…
Mark:RVD is back up and hits a springboard moonsault on Shadow…
Rhino:Another explosion has filled the ring after that move…
Mark:RVD is moving slowly towards the corner… RVD is climbing the turnbuckle…
Rhino:It looks like it is about time for the Five Star Frog Splash…
Mark:Yes it is as RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash on Shadow…
Rhino:What an explosion after that move…
Mark:RVD covers Shadow… 1……………2………………………3……..
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and STILL eWa Television Champion… ROB VAN DAM…
Rhino:That match was a first here in the eWa… And it was one hell of a match up…
Mark:Well its now time for the FTW Title No Holds Barred Match between two of the eWa Legends…
No Holds Barred
FTW Title Match
Triple H (c) vs Sid Vicious
Pa Announcer:This next match is a NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH… And it is for the FTW Title…
(“No Chance” hits as Shane McMahon makes his way towards the ring…)
Mark:I guess Shane O Mac is going to tell us who the special guest referee will be for this match up…
Shane:Well… I know all you fans have been waiting to see this match up for a long time… And well… So have I… Right now before Justin Credible comes out here and does the ring announcing for this match up… I would like to say… That I have come up with a decision on who the Special Guest Referee should be for this match up… This man has to be fair… This man has to call the match down the middle… And Should not have any history with either man involved… Thats why… I would like to introduce to you all now… The Special Guest Referee for this match… Hit THE MUSIC…
(“Schism” hits as Rob Parks walks out from behind the curtain wearing the pin stripes…)
Shane:Ladies and Gentlemen… The OWNER OF THE eWa… ROB PARKS…
Rhino:Rob Parks is going to referee…
Mark:He has history with Sid and with Hunter we all know that… He even got the hell beat out of him by Sid a few weeks back and Triple H even came out and tried to hell Rob Parks…
Shane:(Picks up headset)Whats up fellows… I thought I would get a closer look at this match up…
(“Break it Down” hits as Justin Credible makes his way towards the ring to be the guest ring announcer)
Justin:Ladies and Gentlemen… Piss ants and all the rest… Introducing first… He is the FTW Champion… He is my good friend… He is also being accompanied by my Tag Team Partner… And eWa Television Champion Rob Van Dam… Ladies and Gentlemen… Give it up for TRIPLE H…
(“The Game” hits as Triple H walks to the ring with RVD… RVD heads over to the announce position with Mark, Rhino and Shane McMahon…)
Justin:Now his opponent… Is a big psychotic goof… Who doesn’t even deserve to be in this ring or even in this federation… So I don’t even care about this bitch coming out… So Sid get your ass out here so it can be kicked…
(“Bottle of Rage” hits as Sid Makes his way towards the ring…)
Mark:Well we are joined by RVD and Shane O Mac for this big time match up…
RVD:Thats right… Once again Mr. Pay Per View is in the house… Showing you boys how to do your job right…
Mark:Well the Boss Rob Parks has called for the bell and we are under way in this match up… The Game and Sid staring one another down and they both look to have evil intentions on their mind…
Shane:Mark these two men have one of the longest feuds in eWa history and its about time… That these two men do battle… It has been a long time and as a fan… I am so excited about this match up…
RVD:Who wouldn’t be when you got Sid… A guy who has torn through everyone here in the eWa… And then you got Triple H… The Game… The man who is that damn good…
Mark:Sid and Triple H now begin to trade blows back and forth… The game gets nailed backwards by a stiff right hand by Sid… Sid knocks the game back in to the ropes… Sid sends Triple H in to the other side of the ropes and delivers a towering big boot to Triple H…
Rhino:Sid was aiming for the big nose of Hunter and he was able to connect…
Mark:Triple H rolls to the outside to collect his breath…
RVD:Triple H knows what he is doing in that ring… He knows what it is all about… He will get the job done tonight…
Mark:Sid is now going out after Triple H…
Rhino:Not a smart move by Sid…
Mark:Triple H rolls back inside the ring… But Sid grabs the foot of Triple H and trips him up as he himself rolls back in to the ring…
Rhino:Well I guess it was a smart move on Sids part…
Mark:Triple H backing up in to the corner…
Rhino:He is telling Sid to back off… I doubt Sid will back off…
Mark:Triple H with a kick to the gut of Sid and connects with a clothesline… Triple H now begins to stomp away at the chest of Sid…
RVD:See there… Triple H knows what he is doing… Hes the Game and he is showing why…
Mark:Triple H grabs the legs of Sid and delivers a stomp to the lower areas of Sid…
RVD:To put it correctly… He stomped him in his nuts…
Mark:I wasn’t going to go their… But any how… Triple H is in control at the moment on Sid… Triple H goes for a clothesline on Sid… Sid ducks… Goes for one of his own but Triple H ducks and hits a Knee Buster and down goes Sid…
Rhino:Triple H is heading to the outside…
RVD:What he is only going to talk something over with Justin…
Shane:About getting a sledgehammer…
Mark:The game brings the sledgehammer back in to the ring…
RVD:Give it to him Hunter… Do it for DX…
Mark:He isnt going after Sid but he is now in the face of Rob Parks…
RVD:He just saying hello… Thats all…
Mark:Sid is back up… Triple H turns around and is called by Sid… Sid has Triple H by the neck and he just tosses him across the ring… Triple H is trying to get Sid to back off again… Triple H went for a punch but Sid catches Triple H’s hand and is over powering the Game…
RVD:Come on Hunter… Don’t let him over power you…
Mark:Sid whips the Game in to the ropes… And Sid connects with a big boot…
Rhino:Sid is taking over in this match up… It could be the end of Triple H…
Mark:Sid grabs Triple H by the throat and connects with a chokeslam…
RVD:Excuse me for a moment…
Rhino:Where in the hell are you going…
Mark:RVD is headed towards the ring and he is now talking with Justin Credible… Sid is about to Powerbomb Triple H… RVD hits the Ring and Justin is talking with Rob Parks… VAN DAMINATOR on Sid…
Rhino:RVD has decided to get in the face of Sid… And he has made an Impact in this match up…
Mark:Triple H now picks up a fallen Sid and hits the Pedigree…
Rhino:Please let it not end this way…
Mark:Cover by Triple H… 1………………………………………2……………………………….. SID KICKS OUT…
Rhino:OH MY GOD… I cant believe it… Shane cant believe it… Rob Parks cant believe it… No one can believe it…
Mark:Triple H is mad and he is going for his Sledgehammer…
Rhino:ROB kicks the Sledge hammer out of the ring…
Mark:Triple H is so furious right now and he looks like he is gonna snap…
Rhino:Triple H is telling RVD something…
Mark:Once again Justin is talking with Rob Parks… Triple H is setting Sid up in the corner… RVD on the Turnbuckle… VAN TERMINATOR…
Shane:WOW!!!
Rhino:What a move by RVD…
Mark:Triple H going for the cover…1……………………..2………………….SID KICKS OUT AGAIN…
Rhino:Will anything put him out…
Mark:Triple H gets the Sledge from RVD… He looks to be setting Sid up for a Big Shot… A shot to the gut by Triple H on to Sid…
Rhino:That should be over and Triple H retains the belt…
Mark:Cover 1…………………..2……………….. SID KICKS OUT AGAIN… Triple H is stunned… Triple H is picking Sid up…
Rhino:Looks like the pedigree again…
Mark:LOW BLOW BY SID…Sid is trying to get back to his feet… Triple H catches him with a couple of right hands… Triple H sends him in to the ropes… Reversed by Sid… BIG BOOT and down goes Triple H…
Rhino:Sid is setting him up again for the Powerbomb…
Mark:RVD hits the ring… Sid nails him with a Big Boot… Sid picks up RVD and Powerbombs him in to the mat… Sid now has Triple H up… POWERBOMB…
Rhino:YES YES YES… We are going to have a new champion…
Mark:Rob goes for the cover 1……………………2………………… Justin Credible pulls Rob out…
Rhino:Damn that bastard…
Mark:Justin goes for Rob… Rob blocks and knocks down Justin Credible… Sid covers Triple H again… 1………………….2…………………….3……..
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and NEW FTW Champion SID VICIOUS…
Rhino:Its a new era here in the eWa as we have a new FTW Champion…
Mark:Good God what a match up that was…
Shane:Well we have a new FTW Champion… We have to congratulate Sid on that match… He fought the odds and he over came them… Big Ups to Sid… Well, fellas I will catch you guys later…
Mark:Well thanks Shane McMahon for joining us…
Rhino:Man Triple H is gonna be pissed tomorrow…
Mark:Well its time to go to the Iron Man Match…
eWa World Title Iron Man Match
Shawn Michaels(c) vs Omega
Written by Dprincedso
MARK: Crunch time folks; it’s main event time. There has never been an IronMan match in the EWA before. People say it’s because the typical EWA fan doesn’t want to watch a whole hour of wrestling between two athletes. Then some crazy booker said let’s throw a guy who’s done the IronMan thing before in Shawn Michaels and match him against a guy who you would never think could go the hour in Omega. Things work out in a strange way and now we have two guys set for what’s already been established as a long match.
RHINO: The hour. In wrestling, there are few who actually want to do it. Omega WANTED to do this, Mark. HBK wanted no part of this match but guess who stepped in with an insistence for this? In this match, you gotta train a whole different way for it. Shawn Michaels has done this before but he’s never done it in the EWA. Omega has never wrestled beyond ten minutes here in the EWA because of the tremendous impact he brings to the ring. Even though Shawn is the veteran in this match, I gotta go with Omega in this. He’s been nothing but unstoppable lately because he works his ass off. He wanted the match so I think he was training for this one for a while now. Let me stop talking. Let us stop talking. Let’s see it happen.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for the main event! This event is scheduled as an IronMan match for the EWA World Heavyweight Championship!
(“If I should die before I wake” begins to play throughout the arena)
ANNOUNCER: And now the challenger. He’s size is uncertain. His weight is unknown. All that is known that he says he is here to kick someone’s ass. He is OMEGA!
MARK: Omega making his way to the ring to cheers all of the sudden. He’s always got that cold and serious look on his face and the last guy you would see kissing up to the fans but for some reason, people love him now.
RHINO: He’s either got the best poker face in the game or he’s really that serious. The man who helped me become the purveyor of the Overweight Gore is making his way to the ring hell bent on making this match the single longest match of HBK’s match by literally bringing hell to the EWA ring.
MARK: Omega is a fight waiting to happen and now he’s poised to get the gold he never lost back.
(“Boy Toy” starts to play from the P.A. system)
ANNOUNCER: And now introducing the champion. Being accompanied by the ninth wonder of the world; Chyna. He is “The Heartbreak Kid” SHAWN MICHAELS!
MARK: Already, things are looking questionable. In my view, Chyna has no business near this match and perhaps she hasn’t heard. Omega gives no mercy. Woman or man, you get near that ring and you are a target.
RHINO: And Shawn ain’t doin’ all the dancin’ and all the crap he does normally. It’s either because he knows who he’s facing or the fact that the Hell In The Cell is hangin’ ever so dangerous over the top of the ring. AH-HA! DX is about to get its ass whipped!
MARK: As Chyna makes her way to the side of the ring, it looks like Shawn has got something to say.
HBK: Why is the Hell In The Cell hanging overhead? I wanted the IronMan Match. I didn’t want the Hell In The Cell.
RHINO: Yeah, right.
HBK: So why is the cell hanging overhead? Why….
MARK: Omega just pimp-slapped the shit outta the HeartBreak Kid!
RHINO: Who’s your daddy, Shawn?
MARK: Here we go! Right, left, right! Omega with the push off! Right, left, right! Omega with the push off! Right, left, right! Omega with the push off!
RHINO: It’s not working, Shawn!
MARK: Michaels off the ropes. Omega just reached out and grabbed him by the face! Holy shit!
RHINO: HBK’s goin’ for a ride!
MARK: Omega picks him up! One hand! Claw slam! HBK just got spiked right on the back of his head! Man!
RHINO: HBK is down! This could be a record! The ref starts the count! 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10! It’s over! Omega gets the first fall by knockout in under a minute! HAHAHA!
MARK: Omega just set a record in the EWA for fastest fall in an IronMan match knocking out HBK in 55 seconds! He still holds the all time record of beating Demon Child in 2 seconds! This man is scary. Plain and simple.
RHINO: Look at Omega! He’s actually upset at the ref for counting Shawn out!
MARK: Omega arguing with the ref and now he’s moving over to Shawn who’s still out from that Claw Slam. Omega picks up Shawn. What’s he gonna do? He put him a backdrop of sorts. I got a feeling I’ve seen that before.
RHINO: Isn’t that the same backdrop Shawn used to do as a finisher before he started using Sweet Chin Music?
MARK: I believe so. Shawn just got an old finisher put on him. Now what? Omega’s got him hooked in the corner. SWEET CHIN MUSIC!
RHINO: Now that looks more familiar.
MARK: Omega not wasting any time. Shawn fell forward from the kick and now Omega has him hooked. Looks like. Could be. PEDIGREE!
RHINO: Omega is going for the insult factor. He’s hitting all of DX’s moves past and present and he’s nowhere near done. HAHA! How you like that, ya green and black bitches?
MARK: Omega immediately locks in an Indian DeathLock! Didn’t Hunter used to use that move also?
RHINO: Yeah. He used it as a jobber before he before he became the game and forgot how to wrestle but remembered how to screw job people left and right.
MARK: Omega releases the leglock. Shawn couldn’t tap. He’s out. The referee never let the arm drop to three so Omega still only has one fall. Omega is just going to work on HBK and he’s too out of it to do anything. He hooks him again. THAT’S INCREDIBLE!
RHINO: Justin Credible started out so unknown. No one wants to remember the finishers of Aldo Montoya or PG-187. There’s no need for him to do the X Marks The Spot. He’s already done it.
MARK: Omega wasting no time. Shawn is on the ground completely out. Looks like Omega’s gonna do something from the turnbuckle. SPLIT-LEGGED MOONSAULT! That big son of a bitch just pulled off a RVD-style Split-Legged Moonsault! For crying out loud, is there anything this man can’t do?
RHINO: Now you know why he’s the most feared man in wrestling today. For years, boys will grow up tryin’ to be like Omega. Now that’s scary.
MARK: Omega back up quickly. He goes to the other side of the ring. What the hell’s he gonna do? Is he going for the frog splash? That might be too far for him! Omega’s on the top. Can he hit it? 5-STAR FROG SPLASH! This is no ordinary athlete. This man may just be the future of what’s to become of wrestling.
RHINO: You know what’s really scary? All guys like him are prototypes until someone better comes along.
MARK: Omega is on the move. This guy has hit nearly all of the moves of DX in about 8 minutes. There’s only one RVD move left and it looks like he’s setting up for it right now.
RHINO: Fuck Goldberg. Omega’s the shit. It takes more than a spear and a suplex slam to be cybernetic. Why do I get the feeling if Omega caught on fire, he would be all machine like and kill some guy name Reese and some girl named Sarah?
MARK: Omega’s set up now. VANTERMINATOR!
RHINO: ….Re!….Spect!….Walk!….What do you say? I say HBK career has just got cut short again. If he’s got anything left, it’s now or never.
MARK: Damn. He’s not done yet. What now? Looks like a bear hug. No! STUN GUN!
RHINO: Only one DX member left so there’s still a Stunner and Million Dollar Dream. Too bad he can’t do the Hollywood and Vine. He needs a tag partner to pull that off.
MARK: Forget the move. I’d take the partner still alive and walking anyday. MILLION DOLLAR DREAM! Shawn locked into the powerful arms of Omega!
RHINO: Looks like his head’s about to pop off!
MARK: Omega just threw him off in frustration. What’s he mad about?
RHINO: Maybe this is all to easy for him.
MARK: Shawn isn’t moving at all. Omega picks him up by the head. STUNNER!
RHINO: Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Omega ends it by doing all of Austin’s old finishers! HBK won’t dance again for a long time!
MARK: Omega has completely dominated Shawn in this match. He has gone for the DX cycle and hit it. Chyna has had no effect in this match what so ever.
RHINO: That’s because shit don’t want to get an ass whippin’.
MARK: Shit?
RHINO: What is Chyna? A man? A woman? An it? She? He? It? I just say shit.
MARK: That’s not nice.
RHINO: I’m not a nice guy, jackass. Hey! It is cool to say that when you use it right.
MARK: Chyna is on the apron complaining to the ref about what Omega has done.
RHINO: I don’t know how smart this is. Omega is in there and whatever rest Shawn is gettin’ from this ain’t helpin’ out any.
MARK: Chyna arguing with the referee. Omega hit the ref and now he grabs Chyna by the hair and yanks her in the ring! She wasn’t paying attention and now she’s in there with big trouble.
RHINO: Kick her ass, Omega!
MARK: Chyna up in the face of Omega! She’s six feet tall and Omega makes her look like a midget! Oh! She just slapped the taste outta his mouth. Omega strikes back. Chyna ducks. Low Blow! Chyna attempting a DDT. No way. Chyna off the ropes. She’s caught! SCREWDRIVER! What a heartless monster! Omega just beat up a helpless female!
RHINO: That’s Chyna you stupid fuck. She can hold her own but against someone like Omega, she’s helpless.
MARK: Omega looks to be chillin’ in the corner. He’s arguing with the ref who’s still groggy from that blow he got earlier. Omega doesn’t want Shawn to be counted out. Now what? Where’s he going?
RHINO: He left Shawn lying and is now he’s walking away from the match. What the hell? Where’s he going? Is he walking out of the EWA? C’mon man, don’t do this now.
MARK: We’re getting a camera to follow Omega to the backstage area. Where’s he going?
RHINO: You’re guess as good as mine. The ref is counting both men out.
ANNOUNCER: As a result of a double count-out, it is now 2 to 1!
RHINO: Hello? There ain’t no count outs here in the EWA, man! Where are we time-wise?
MARK: According to the time, 30 minutes have come and gone. Shawn has gone through a half hour of hell with Omega with Omega leading the match by one fall. What the hell? The ref just called for the bell. What’s going on?
ANNOUNCER: The winner of the second fall by count out, Shawn Michaels!
RHINO: What? There’s no such thing as count outs in the EWA. Hey ref, there ain’t count outs in the EWA!
MARK: Shawn has managed to drag himself up. Meanwhile, we’re having technical difficulties with the camera. We can see Omega but the picture is blurry. No sound either.
RHINO: I know that place from anywhere! It’s The Purg Pit! The hot dog man is back! At least I hope so. I can’t tell but I’m so hungry….
MARK: The picture’s clearing up a little. Where’s Omega going now?
RHINO: I don’t know but the referee has counted Omega out yet again. Now HBK leads by a fall. For the last fuckin’ time, there’s no count outs in the EWA, ref!
MARK: Omega’s walking somewhere. What’s that? Some kinda switch? Omega just pushed something in the back and now the Hell In The Cell is lowering! The Cell is coming down and things just went from real bad to worse for HBK!
RHINO: HBK is back up and in control of himself now, I guess. He rolls and now he’s getting a ton of weapons and throwing them in the ring! Chairs, signs, the ring bell, whatever. Shawn is holding the back of his head from all the punishment he received earlier and now, he’s getting enough hardware to make Hechinger blush.
MARK: Here comes Omega back now. The ref has just finish counting Omega out and he looks very pissed. As the cell lowers around himself and Shawn, he’s arguing to the ref that this is the EWA. There’s no such thing as count out here unless someone is knocked out. I got to give credit where credit is due, there’s gotta be an unbelievable second wind in HBK now. He’s just taken the cycle from the man who has ability to cripple anyone with one move and now HBK has a chair and all the sudden he wants Omega in the ring now.
RHINO: Yeah. You’re lookin’ at the world’s bravest piece of shit.
MARK: Omega doesn’t hesitate either. Here he comes and Shawn lays a chair shot in!
RHINO: No effect at all!
MARK: He’s wailing away with the chair and now it’s starting to take effect. Omega is staggered. Michaels off the ropes. Huge chair shot! Omega down to one knee. Big chair shot to the back of the head Omega is on his hands and knees!
RHINO: Omega’s down but he won’t be for long! Shawn better do somethin’ and do somethin’ quick!
MARK: HBK has the fire extinguisher. All up Omega’s face!
RHINO: Smart move but I still hate DX. Omega can’t see so Shawn can pretty much do whatever he wants.
MARK: Omega is on his feet swinging his hands around trying to find Shawn but he’s blinded by that chemical in the extinguisher all over his face. HBK has the ring bell. Did you hear that? Right on Omega’s head!
RHINO: Shawn better do something to immobilize Omega and fast. I think the bell has busted Omega open.
MARK: Omega is bleeding. Something we see in just about every match he has had now. HBK is setting up the table in the ring. Omega is up but he still can’t see. SWEET CHIN MUSIC outta nowhere! Omega is knocked back on the table. I think I know what’s gonna happen here!
RHINO: Omega was kicked in perfect position by Shawn and there’s only one thing left to do.
MARK: Michaels on the middle rope. Big time elbow drop onto Omega through the table! Nobody does it better!
RHINO: Omega’s in trouble. We’re approaching 40 minutes and he’s down two falls and…. He’s gettin’ up. That son of a bitch is getting up. Hell, he beat Shawn up!
MARK: HBK looks really afraid now. He knows he just gave Omega everything he had. He knows that the big man can see now. He knows that he’s in real trouble now because Omega is up and coming toward him.
RHINO: Run your ass off, boy toy!
MARK: Shawn must’ve heard you because there he goes! He exits the cell and Omega follows! Michaels is faster so he’s on one side and Omega’s on the other! He’s trying to exit through the crowd. Security just blocked him!
RHINO: Alright! Stay and fight, you coward!
MARK: Shawn heading up to the cage! So is Omega! This is what we’ve been waiting on! Both competitors are on top! Here comes DX! They’re all in Austin’s Monster Truck! What are they doing?
RHINO: I don’t know. Looks like they brought it to stop Omega. What better way to stop a monster than with another one?
MARK: Aw man! Shawn just put Sweet Chin Music right into Omega’s balls!
RHINO: I think DX is hookin’ the truck to the cage. I think they’re gonna pull the cage down! Vince tried to do this before in the WWF! This is bullshit! DX is that damn afraid of Omega and the cell for them to pull a McMahon tonight!
MARK: Look on the top! Omega is down and HBK is lockin’ in the SharpShooter on top of the cage! HBK locks in the SharpShooter on top of the cage and DX is going nuts!
RHINO: Shades of Montreal! Shawn has Omega locked in the SharpShooter! Now the referee has to climb the cage and ask Omega if he wants to tap!
MARK: Omega is lettin’ every curse word in the dictionary fly. The ref is on top of the cage and time is running out for Omega!
RHINO: We just passed the 50 minute mark and Omega has less than ten minutes to try and pick up three falls!
MARK: The ref is asking Omega if he wants to give another fall up but Omega just keeps cursing up a storm.
RHINO: Omega has never tapped in his life. I don’t see him tappin’ now.
MARK: HBK has the SharpShooter locked in deep on Omega. He just broke it! Look out!
RHINO: Incoming!
(A few minutes pass and the only thing that is heard are “Holy Shit” chants from the crowd)
MARK: …..hear….Rhino?
RHINO: I can hear you, Mark. Your headset is damaged. Get another one. Shawn Michaels just came crashing down here a la Mankind and took out our announce table! Shit! I think he’s dead! Here come DX! They shouldn’t move him at all. Guys don’t move him! He might end up more hurt! Where are all of you going? DX is going back to the truck. No! Don’t do it! Omega’s still up there! Don’t pull it down!
(A lot of time passes. The “Holy Shit” chants are the only thing heard. What is seen? The cameras pick up the image of the Austin Monster Truck pulling the Hell In The Cell apart. The top is the first to go with Omega still on it. It falls straight into the ring in what can only be described as sheer brutality. Somehow, three sides of the ring are still somewhat standing. The ring collapsed from the fall. Omega is somewhere in the ring with an entire cell top laying on him. He can’t be seen. It’s not sure what his condition is. Massive time goes by and eventually Hardcore Theater shows a countdown. 10….9….8….7….6….5….4….3….2….1. The timer sounds and the match is declared over. All the sound is out except for Hardcore Theater which makes a shocking announcement)
ANNOUNCEMENT: Here is your winner….the EWA World Heavyweight Champion….SHAWN MICHAELS!
(Cameras fade to black)
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