Welcome to the Slaughter House (02-02-02)

Mark:Welcome to Las Vegas…And Welcome to SLAUGHTER HOUSE…I am Mark… Alongside… The Man known as Rhino…

Rhino:Yep I am Rhino… Thats Rhino with an I not Y like the other one is fighting tonight…

Mark:Well tonight… Its gonna be a Slaughter House… As we have the first ever Slaughter House Match between Rob Parks… Shane McMahon and Jay Mack…

Rhino:Well all I have to say this match is gonna be very interesting…To say the least…

Mark:Also tonight The Rock puts the eWa World Title on the line against Dragon… Justin Credible battles Demon Child for the eWa Championship in at Scaffold Match… Plus a lot more… Right now we have been told Kent Richardson as some sort of special announcement…

Kent:Well Mark, I have been handed a memo from Omega… Yes Omega sent out a Memo… That tonight all the matches… Will be decided either by Knockout or by passing out by Submission… NO PINFALLS ALLOWED in this event… Back to you guys…

Mark:This should make an very interesting night…

Rhino:Many have been preparing one way…. And now they have to do it another way… The people who have later matches have the advantage…

Mark:Well lets start it out with an eWa Television Title Match… With the man who made the rule… OMEGA…

eWa Television Title Match
Omega(c) vs Test

Pa Announcer:The opening match at Welcome to Slaughter House is under Knockout or Passout by Submission Rules… And this match is for the eWa Television Championship…Introducing first… The Challenger… From Toronto, Ontario… Weighing in at 282 Pounds… TEST…

(“Test” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:His opponent… Weighing in at over 300 Pounds… The eWa Television Champion… OMEGA…

(“If I Die before I should wake” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:Well this man is gonna set the standard tonight…

Rhino:His event… His matches… His night… Plain and simple…

Mark:You forgot… His rules as well…

Rhino:Well I feel sorry for Test…

Mark:Here we go… Test tries to take down Omega with a clothesline… No effect… Test comes off again and tries to take down the big man with a clothesline…

Rhino:That one shook him…

Mark:Test comes off again… Sidewalk slam by Omega…

Rhino:That caught Test off guard…

Mark:Omega now sends him in to the corner hard… Big Splash by Omega on to Test… Omega sends him in to the ropes… And a big flap jack by Omega…

Rhino:Um Test never flew that high before… He is use to being the bigger man… But not tonight…

Mark:Omega now picks him up and nails him with a big powerbomb… Omega picks up Test now… And he Powerbombs him again straight in to the corner…

Rhino:That has got to hurt…

Mark:Omega now scoops him up and Nails him with the Screwdriver… He picks him up again and nails him with another Screwdriver…

Rhino:The ref should stop this carnage…

Mark:And thats exactly what he did… The bell sounds… This match is over…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and STILL eWa Television Champion… OMEGA…

Rhino:Well we knew this before the match began…

Mark:Well its time for someone else to be slaughtered as we head back to the ring…

Rob Van Dam vs Sabu

Pa Announcer:This next match is under Knockout or Passout by Submission Rules…Introducing first… Weighing in at 222 Pounds… SABU…

(Sabu’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Battle Creek, Michigan… Weighing in at 235 Pounds… Representing Degeneration X… ROB VAN DAM…

(“Walk” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:Here we go…RVD and Sabu lock it up…

Rhino:These two are former ECW Tag Team Champions… So this means that they know each other very well…

Mark:Sabu nails RVD in the gut as he sends him in to the ropes… RVD flips off the ropes and nails him with a moonsault…RVD went for the cover but remember that the rules of the match were changed…

Rhino:I told you that the people who have the first couple of matches… Wont remember the ruling…

Mark:RVD now nails Sabu with a flipping leg drop… RVD now goes to the ring apron and springs over the top rope and nails him with another leg drop…

Rhino:RVD is keeping it simple thus far…

Mark:RVD sends Sabu in to the corner…Sabu leaps over the running RVD… Goes for a german suplex… And connects with it to RVD…

Rhino:That gave RVD a reality check…

Mark:Sabu scoops him up and goes to the outside… Goes for a spring board leg drop of his own… RVD though moves out of the way… RVD comes off the ropes… Rolling Thunder by RVD…

Rhino:RVD is going outside of the ring for something…

Mark:RVD brings a chair in to the ring… RVD throws a chair to Sabu… Sabu ducks the attempted VanDaminator… RVD though comes back and nails him with a spinheel kick…

Rhino:RVD climbs the turnbuckle…

Mark:FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH…

Rhino:In a regular match… That would be all… But since there are no pinfalls… He has to either knock him out… Or make him passout…

Mark:RVD sets him up in the corner…

Rhino:Could he… No he couldnt be doing what I think he is going to do…

Mark:RVD places the chair near the head of Sabu…

Rhino:Yes he is gonna do it as he climbs the other turnbuckle…

Mark:VANTERMINATOR… OH MY GOD… The Bell has sounded…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner… ROB VAN DAM…

Rhino:I knew he was gonna do it…

Mark:Well RVD pulls out the win tonight at Slaughter House… Well lets get back to the ring…

Tazz vs Billy Kidman

Pa Announcer:This next match is once again under Knockout or Passout by Submission Rules… Introducing first… From Allentown, Pa… Weighing in at 202 Pounds… BILLY KIDMAN…

(Kidman’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:His opponent… From the Red Hook Section of Brooklyn, Ny… Weighing in at 240 Pounds… TAZZ…

(“Survive” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:Here we…

(“If I die before I should wake” hits as Omega walks towards the ring…)

Rhino:Um… Business is about to pick up… As Jim Ross Would say…

Mark:Omega grabs Tazz and nails him with a huge powerbomb… Kidman is backing away from Omega…

Rhino:Yeah that would be the smart thing to do…

Mark:Omega grabs Kidman and grabs him by the legs and is now doing the giant spin…

Rhino:The Giant Spin… Thats something you dont see often…

Mark:Omega picks him back up and lays him out with a Screwdriver…

Rhino:Omega made a statement eh?

Mark:Well I doubt that this match is gonna take place… So as they get helped to the back… Why dont we go back to the ring for more action…

Prodigy vs X-Pac

Pa Announcer:This match is once again under Knockout or Passout by Submission Rules… Introducing first… From Minneapolis, Minnesota… Weighing in at 212 Pounds… X-PAC…

(“X-Factor” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Dallas, Texas… Weighing in at 374 Pounds… PRODIGY…

(Prodigy’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:X-Pac doesnt wait for the bell to sound as he goes right after the big man with stiff kicks to the gut and then nails him with a good shot right in the head…

Rhino:That could scramble some brains…

Mark:That shot knocked him backwards… But now X-Pac comes off the ropes with a spin kick but is caught and Prodigy nails with a powerbomb..

Rhino:Well I feel bad for X-Pac… Because he isnt gonna last much longer with Prodigy…

Mark:Prodigy now picks him up and nails him with a fallaway slam… Prodigy comes off the ropes and nails him with a big splash…

Rhino:That should crush the insides of X-Pac…

Mark:Prodigy now picks up X-Pac and nails him with a huge backbreaker…Prodigy picks him up again and nails him with a huge side walk slam…

Rhino:Well Prodigy is taking X-Pac to the top rope…

Mark:PRODICAL SUN… BY PRODIGY…

Rhino:Well X-Pac is out…

Mark:But the ref is letting this match continue… Prodigy picks him up and has him hooked in the old fashion bear hug…

Rhino:He is just squezzing the life out of X-Pac…

Mark:The Bell Sounds… We have a winner…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner… PRODIGY…

Rhino:Prodigy had a feel day with X-Pac…

Mark:Well its time for more action… So Lets head back to the ring once again… For what should be an interesting four way contest…

Rhyno vs Undertaker vs Kross vs Jeremy Mack

Pa Announcer:This match is a fatal four way match under Knockout or Passout by Submission Rules… Introducing first… From Detroit, Michigan…Weighing in at 250 Pounds… RHYNO…

(Rhyno’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:What is Rhyno doing…

Rhino:Im not doing anything…

Mark:No Rhyno…

Rhino:Oh…

Mark:Rhyno just set up 3 tables in the corners…

Rhino:He must be up to something…

Pa Announcer:His opponent…From New York, City… Weighing in at 255… JEREMY MACK…

(Jeremy’s theme hits as he makes his way in to the ring…)

Mark:GORE!!! Rhyno hit Jeremy with the GORE THROUGH THE TABLE…

Rhino:I told you he was up to something…

Mark:He looks like he is gonna take out his opponents… One by One…

Pa Announcer:Their opponent… From Mystery, Alaska… Weighing in at 300 Pounds… KROSS…

Mark:Rhyno goes for the gore on Kross… Kross jumped over him… Goes for a clothesline… Rhyno ducks… GORE through the table…

Rhino:He has taken out two of his opponents… And now there is one left… And this guy is a bad ass…

Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Death Valley… Weighing in at 320 Pounds… THE UNDERTAKER…

(“Rollin” Hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:Well here they go… Rhyno goes right after The Undertaker… But the deadman is fighting back…

Rhino:I am surprise that he didnt try to gore the Undertaker… Which would have been a smart move…

Mark:Well Rhyno now gets sent in to the ropes… Reversal by Rhyno… GORE… Through the ropes and to the outside went the Undertaker…

Rhino:Rhyno goes outside and sets up another table…

Mark:The Undertaker is back up… GORE… Through the table…

Rhino:Rhyno is the human Goreing machine tonight…

Mark:The ref has called for the bell and this match is over…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner… RHYNO…

Rhino:Rhyno destroyed all of his opponent…

Mark:No he Slaughter his opponents… Lets get back to the ring…

Diamond Dallas Page vs Steve Austin vs Dan Hollywood

Pa Announcer:This next match is a Three Way Dance under Knockout or Passout by Submission Rules…Introducing first from Victoria, Texas… Weighing in at 252 Pounds… STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN…

(“Glass” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Hollywood, CA… Weighing in at 229 Pounds… DAN HOLLYWOOD…

(Dan’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:And their opponent… From The Jersey Shore… Weighing in at 253 Pounds… DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE…

(“Bang” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:Well here we go… Stone Cold…Dan Hollywood… And Diamond Dallas Page…

Rhino:Should be a pretty interesting match up…

Mark:Stone Cold and DDP… Go right for Dan Hollywood… Stone Cold and DDP both giving Dan a run for his money… But Dan Hollywood… Is fighting both men off now… DDP gets knocked down by a big clothesline from Dan Hollywood…

Rhino:But from behind Stone Cold nails Dan Hollywood…

Mark:Stone Cold hammering away at Dan Hollywood with right hands as he sends him in to the ropes and nails him with a Lou Thez Press with right hands to follow… Stone Cold off the ropes… And nails him with the point of the elbow…

Rhino:Stone Cold is in control now…

Mark:From behind DDP grabs Stone Cold by the trunks and throws him over the top rope… DDP now begins to work on Dan Hollywood…

Rhino:It seems to me… The focus has been on Dan Hollywood… From Austin and DDP…

Mark:DDP now sends him in to the ropes… Dan ducks the clothesline… Huge Belly to Belly suplex by Dan Hollywood… DDP gets picked up by Dan and dropped from a millitary press…

Rhino:Stone Cold is back in the ring now…

Mark:Dan picks up DDP again and throws him right at Stone Cold…

Rhino:Now Dan is in control of this match up… As he is taking it to DDP and Stone Cold Steve Austin…

Mark:Dan now grabs Stone Cold and gives him a belly to belly suplex over the top rope and to the floor…Dan grabs DDP now and nails him with a sitdown powerbomb…

Rhino:Dan is turning DDP over…

Mark:Camel Clutch by Dan Hollywood on DDP…

Rhino:Can DDP with stand the pain of the Camel Clutch…

Mark:He is at the moment… Stone Cold is back in the ring… But gets nailed with a big belly to belly and it sent him flying across the ring…

Rhino:The Camel Clutch is locked back it…

Mark:DDP has passed out from the pain… Its over…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner… DAN HOLLYWOOD…

Rhino:Dan completly Dominated this match up…

Mark:Well this next match should be pretty interesting… So lets go to the ring…

Special Challenge Match
Sarah J. Mack vs Crazed Maniac

Pa Announcer:This next match is under Knockout or Passout by Submission Rules…Introducing first… SARAH J. MACK…

(Sarah’s theme hits as she makes her way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:Her opponent… From New York City… Weighing in at 210 Pounds… CRAZED MANIAC…

(Crazed theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:Well this is gonna be interesting…

Rhino:Yeah I would have given Sarah a chance before Omega changed the rules of the matches…

Mark:Everyone would have…But now its a different story…

(Jay Mack’s Theme kicks up over the PA System…)

Rhino:This should be pretty interesting now…

Mark:Things are about to pick up… As Jay Mack steps in front of Sarah…Jay Mack with a few right hands to Crazed Maniac… Jay is taking it to Crazed Maniac…

Rhino:I told you everyone with later matches would be prepared for this… And Sarah has come in here prepared…

Mark:Jay has just planted Crazed Maniac with a real deal driver…

Rhino:Well for Sarah to win she has to do something…

Mark:You know you are right about that one…

Rhino:Sarah has just gone outside of the ring for a chair…

Mark:Jay is holding up Crazed Maniac… Huge Chair shot by Sarah J. Mack… And Officially now… Crazed Maniac is out cold… We have our winner…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner… SARAH J. MACK…

Rhino:Well the Macks came up with a plan… And they made it happen…

Mark:Well Purgatory is ready to come out for his match… So lets head towards the ring…

eWa X Championship Match
Purgatory(c) vs Lance Storm

Pa Announcer:This next match is under Knockout or Passout by Submission Rules…And is for the eWa X Championship…Introducing first the challenger… From Calgary,Alberta, Canada… Weighing in at 226 Pounds… LANCE STORM…

(Lance Storm’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:And his opponent… From 240 Pounds… He is the eWa X Champion… PURGATORY…

(Purgatory’s theme Hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:Here we go… Purgatory gets caught off guard as Lance Storm begins to throw a couple of forearms at him… And now goes behind Purgatory and nails him with a bulldog… Lance Storm now taking him down and is applying a headlock…

Rhino:Storm is wrestling with Purgatory…

Mark:Purgatory now is countering storms headlock and goes behind Lance now and Purgatory does the old fashion clip from behind…

Rhino:I love the clip from behind… It is so old school…

Mark:Purgatory now grabs Lance Storm by the legs and slingshots him in to the corner… Purgatory now goes behind Lance Storm and does a tornado bulldog on to Lance Storm…

Rhino:Purgatory just rolled to the outside for something that is under the ring…

Mark:Purgatory now is pulling something out…

Rhino:A TRAMPOLINE…

Mark:Purgatory grabs a couple of chairs as well and now brings all three items in to the ring…

Rhino:This should be pretty interesting to see right now…

Mark:Purgatory grabs Lance Storm and slams him hard in to the canvas…

Rhino:And let the jumping begin…

Mark:Purgatory now does a 450 splash off the trampoline… Purgatory now pulls up Lance Storm and he is now having him jump up and down on the trampoline…

Rhino:Purgatory now grabs the chairs…

Mark:He has a puzzled look on his face now… It seems like he is stumped…

Rhino:Purgatory just got another trampoline from under the ring…

Mark:Purgatory now with the two chairs… Both men are jumping up and down on the trampolines… Purgatory now delivering a few chair shots to Lance Storm…

Rhino:I think Lance Storm is out…

Mark:I believe so after those 5 chair shots… And yes the ref has called for the bell…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and STILL eWa X Champion… PURGATORY…

Rhino:I never thought we would have seen trampolines in an eWa Ring…

Mark:Well now the Tag Straps are gonna be put on the line in our next match…

eWa Tag Team Title Tornado Rules Match
Triple H & Shawn Michaels(c) vs Razor Ramon & Psycronic

Pa Announcer:This next match is under Texas Tornado Rules and will be decided via Knockout or Passout by Submission Rules…And it is for the eWa Tag Team Championship… Introducing first… The Challengers…Weighing at a combined weight of 543 Pounds… RAZOR RAMON and PSYCRONIC…

(“Razor” hits as they make their way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:And their opponents… Weighing in at 490 Pounds… Representing Degeneration X… The eWa Tag Team Champions… TRIPLE H and SHAWN MICHAELS…

(“Break it Down” hits as they make their way to the ring…)

Mark:Here we go… Razor and Shawn are going at it… As Triple H and Psycronic now going at it as well…

Rhino:Well there is a history between Razor and Shawn… Everyone knows about it already so there is no need to bring it up…

Mark:Interesting Comment… But Triple H just sent Psycronic shoulder first right in to the ring post… Triple H now turns him around and nails him with a few right hands followed by big boots to the gut…

Rhino:Michaels just came off the ropes and nailed Razor with a big flying clothesline…

Mark:Triple H is setting Psycronic up on the top rope and nails him with a big superplex…

Rhino:Shawn was picking up Razor but Razor got him with a small package… But you cant pin in this match… So that was a useless move…

Mark:Triple H now throws Psycronic over the top rope and to the floor…

Rhino:The Tag Champs are in control…

Mark:Triple H and Shawn Michaels now double teaming Razor in the corner… Double suplex by the Tag Team Champions…

Rhino:Triple H goes to the outside and is now bringing in a chair in to the ring…

Mark:Triple H lays the chair down as Michaels goes to the top rope… Spike Piledriver on to the steel chair… By the Tag Team Champions…

Rhino:Its only a couple of more moves and this match is gonna be over…

Mark:Triple H holds up Razor now… SUPERKICK by Shawn Michaels on to Razor Ramon…

Rhino:Razor has to be out right now…

Mark:Well Shawn just threw Psycronic back in to the ring…

Rhino:I smell bad news now…

Mark:PEDIGREE on the steel chair… This match is over…

Pa Announcer:Here are your winners and STILL eWa Tag Team Champions… TRIPLE H and SHAWN MICHAELS…

Rhino:The Tag Champs dominate this match up…

Jeff Jarrett vs Lone Jobber

Pa Announcer:This next match is under Knockout and passout by Submission rules… The Winner recieves a Shot at a title of their choosing… Introducing first… From Music City USA… Weighing in at 198 Pounds… LONE JOBBER…

(“Blood, Sweat, Tears” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:And his opponent… From Music City USA… Weighing in at 234 Pounds… The Chosen One JEFF JARRETT…

(“Chosen One” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:Here we go… Jobber and The Chosen One doing battle…

Rhino:The Winner of this match gets a shot at any title of his choosing… Most Likely world title… As everyone wants to be World Champion…

Mark:Well Jobber and Jarrett lock horns now… Jarrett goes with a side headlock… Jobber sends him off in to the ropes… Lone Jobber goes for a dropkick but the Chosen One hangs on to the ropes…

Rhino:Smart move their by the Chosen One…

Mark:Jarrett now grabs Lone Jobber and suplex’s him chest first on to the top rope… Strong kick right to the lower area of Lone Jobber by Jeff Jarrett…

Rhino:He went down south on the move…

Mark:The Chosen One now places Jobber backwards on the turnbuckle and nails him with a hangmans Neckbreaker…

Rhino:The Chosen One Goes to the outside of the ring now and has brought in a steel chair…

Mark:Anything is allowed this evening because of the rules stated by Omega earlier today…

Rhino:Yeah So everything and anything could go down tonight…

Mark:Jarrett now lays the chair down under the turnbuckle and is setting Jobber up… Again on the top rope… Jobber elbows Jarrett now and flips over Jarrett and Bulldogs him on to the steel chair…

Rhino:This match is back and forth… This could be anyones matchup…

Mark:Lone Jobber grabs Jarrett and spikes him in to the ground with a piledriver…

Rhino:Jobber heading to the top rope…

Mark:450 Splash by Lone Jobber… No cover as they arent allowed in these matches today…

Rhino:Jobber is calling for the Gimmick…

Mark:Jarrett counts and delivers THE STROKE on to the steel chair…

Rhino:Now where in the hell is Jarrett going now…

Mark:Jarrett grabs the Guitar and brings in the ring with him… GUITAR SHOT right to the head…

Rhino:The Ref still hasnt called this match off yet…

Mark:Jarrett is getting pissed and he is now applying the figure four… And it is locked in on Lone Jobber…

Rhino:Will the ref stop the match?

Mark:The ref raises the hand of Jobber twice now and it has dropped… And the third time it drops… Jarrett gets to chose what title he wants a shot at The next card…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner… JEFF JARRETT…

eWa Championship Scaffolding Barbed Wire Tables Match
Justin Credible(c) vs Demon Child

Pa Announcer:This next match is a Scaffolding Barbed Wire Tables Match… And is for the eWa Championship… The Way to win is by throwing your opponent off the scaffold and through the tables… Introducing first… The Challenger… From Kennewick, Wa… Weighing in at 189 Pounds… DEMON CHILD…

(Demon’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Ozone Park, NY… Weighing in at 227 Pounds… Representing Degeneration X… He is the eWa Champion… JUSTIN CREDIBLE…

(“Snap your fingers, Snap your neck” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:Well both men are now up on the top of the scaffold as the bell sounds to begin this match up…

Rhino:Did Demon Child bug you as much as he bugged me this week?

Mark:Justin Credible just slaps Demon Child right in the face… Demon Child tries to come back with a right hand… But it is ducked by Justin Credible as the scaffold begins to shake…

Rhino:Justin Credible just gave Demon Child a nice right jab and it took Demon Child down…

Mark:Justin Credible went to pick up Demon Child but Demon gave him a low blow… Demon Child now is smashing Justin Credibles head in to the side of the scaffold and is now rubbing his head across the chain…

Rhino:Look at the scaffold shake as both men continue to fight on top of it…

Mark:Justin Credible blocked a right hand of Demon Child and gives him a quick superkick and it takes down Demon Child…

Rhino:Neither man wants to fall off of the scaffold as neither man wants to taste some barbed wire and Tables…

Mark:Justin Credible just jumped up and grabbed a singapore cane off the top of the scaffold…

Rhino:Justin looks like he is gonna teach Demon Child some respect now…

Mark:Justin Credible with some shots to the head of Demon Child and now he is busted open big time…

Rhino:Just look at the blood flow from the farhead of Demon Child…

Mark:Justin Credible gives him one final shot and it knocks him completely out…

Rhino:All Justin has to do is throw him off the scaffold…

Mark:Justin Credible picks him up and gives him a superkick and Demon Child goes flying off the scaffold and we now have a winner…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and Still eWa Champion… JUSTIN CREDIBLE…

Rhino:Well Demon Child is gonna need some time to recover after this beating…

Mark:As they clean up the ring… We would like to let you know that our next is our second annual Extreme Bowl… The NFL might have the superbowl… We have the Extreme Bowl… So dont miss our next event… Now lets head down to the ring… For the eWa World Heavyweight Title Match…

eWa World Heavyweight Title Match
The Rock(c) vs Dragon

Pa Announcer:This next match is under Knockout or Passout by Submission Rules… And its is for the eWa World Heavyweight Championship…Introducing first… The Challenger… From Denver, Colorado… Weighing in at 333 Pounds… DRAGON…

(Dragon’s theme hits as he makes his way out towards the ring…)

Pa Announcer:And his opponent…From Miami,Florida… Weighing in at 275 Pounds… He is the eWa World Heavyweight Champion… THE ROCK…

(“Cookin” hits as The Rock makes his way to the ring…)

Mark:Well both men are looking at one another fact to face…

Rhino:The Rock gives up about 60 Pounds to Dragon… So this should be an interesting match up for The Rock…

Mark:Can The Rock walk out with the gold… Here we go… As the bell sounds… The Rock trash talking right now… And here go the fists… The Rock giving Dragon all he can handle with the right hands…

Rhino:And listen to the fans react to The Rock…

Mark:The Rock now gets blocked and Dragon nails him with a big head butt and that sent The Rock straight down to the canvas…

Rhino:That sent The Rock a reality check…

Mark:The Rock back up and goes right back to nailing Dragon with right hands… And this time they are knocking the big man backwards… The Rock steps back and goes for a big right hand… Ducked by Dragon who nails him with a samoan drop…

Rhino:That caught The Rock off guard…

Mark:Dragon pulls the Peoples Champion back in to the center of the ring and nails him with a leg drop… Dragon picks up The Rock and nails him with a baldo bomb and down goes The Peoples Champion…

Rhino:Dragon is having his way with The Rock…

Mark:Dragon sends him in to the ropes… Samoan Neckbreaker by Dragon… Dragon has the confident look on his face…

Rhino:I wouldnt get to cocky if I were Dragon…As The Rock is known for coming back…

Mark:Dragon sends him in to the ropes… The Rock ducks the Clothesline attempt and comes back with a flying clothesline…

Rhino:Told you…

Mark:The Rock nailing Dragon with big right hands again… The Rock kick to the gut… DDT by The Rock on to Dragon…

Rhino:And The Rock is laying The Smackdown now…

Mark:The Rock is heading to the top rope… Dragon catches The Rock… CHOKESLAM on The Peoples Champion…

Rhino:The tide is turning now…

Mark:Dragon picks him up big clothesline… Dragon now grabs the legs… FIREBALL… FIREBALL is locked in on The Rock…

Rhino:And The Rock is screaming in pain…

Mark:Can The Rock hang on now and try to get to the ropes…

Rhino:I feel the title slipping away from The Rock…

Mark:The Rock is getting close to the Ropes… Dragon pulls him back to the center of the ring…

Rhino:The Ref has got to make the call…

Mark:The Ref raises The Rocks arm once… And it goes down… Raises it again… And it goes down…

Rhino:One more time and this match is over…

Mark:The Rocks arm goes down again… The Match is over… We have a new World Champion…

Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and NEW eWa World Heavyweight Champion… DRAGON…

Rhino:WOW…

Mark:The crowd is shocked as we have a NEW World Champion… And his name is DRAGON…

Rhino:I am in total Shock…

Mark:Well its time for the main event…

Slaughter House Match
Rob “Vertigo” Parks vs Shane McMahon vs Jay Mack

MARK: I’m only gonna say this once. Omega should’ve taken over long ago. If he keeps up with cards like this, I can finally welcome home extreme.

RHINO: Can anyone say “tapped out?” For months, Shane McMahon made these bland cards with not one so-called gimmick match. The EWA actually lost money in that period and for a brief time, the WWF took its ratings back. Now that there’s 81,127 here tonight, I think it’s safe to say that the EWA is back. I’m still trippin’ over what happened earlier in the Mack-Maniac match. Sara went Miss Elizabeth on Crazed.

MARK: There are some who say that Shane is going to pay for his mistakes of not giving the people what they want tonight by facing none other than the president….opps….I mean former president of the EWA; Rob Parks and current WCWF owner and main MackDown man Jay “The Real Deal” Mack.

RHINO: Quick thinking. Don’t want Big O to hear you.

MARK: Rob Parks, who’s been AWOL as of late has recently come back to take back what he owns.

RHINO: I like the EWA where it is. Shane can claim he ran it but booking all those plain Jane matches not only damn near drove us bankrupt but also had fan and promo writer interest dwindle down to the point of nonexistence. Then there’s Rob. He says he owns this company but where has he been? I don’t care what he says. He hasn’t been here and that’s what counts. You got Jay who owns WCWF and Omega’s but has also been AWOL as of late also. Then Omega himself steps in. Thanks to his tag partner’s influence, he is stepping toward the grass roots of the company. Extreme is coming home. Guys have stopped being lazy and started being the guys people pay to see. I like this direction and personally, I hope it stays this way.

MARK: This is the most unique match I’ve ever seen. One house. Four rooms. Each room specifically built for pure violence. A Power Room with electricity everywhere. A butcher’s cutting place that will mean somebody grabbin’ a butcher’s knife. A wood shed with power saws and of course, wood. Finally, a dinnerware area in case someone feels the need to crack a dinner plate over someone’s head. Purgatory has created this into the match the House Of Pain should’ve been. I think it’s safe to say this match is ugly. Period.

RHINO: You got all that in there and to add a final factor to the match, Sid Vicious has been named special referee.

MARK: Sid is a forgotten factor in this match but let it be know he will have impact in this.

RHINO: But what will he do? So far, he’s been the jobber scapegoat of Shawn Michaels and Triple H. He’s been beaten down by them more than once because Purgatory gave them his contract. Will we see the true Sid come out tonight? You know, the same unstable psycho that wreaked havoc in the EWA?

MARK: Who knows? You can’t tell with him. Well, Hardcore Theater is showing the Slaughterhouse now. Would you look at that thing?

RHINO: It’s only got one floor but I’ve never seen a diving board attached to a house before. What’s that on the roof? Is that a trampoline?

MARK: Never mind that. Check out who’s loungin’ by the empty kiddie pool.

RHINO: Leave it to Purgatory to get the best view. How’d he get there so fast?

MARK: As far as I know, the house isn’t too far from here. A black and green limo is pulling up that can only mean one person.

RHINO: Yeah. Purg knows it to.

(Purg hits a switch and “No Chance In Hell” hits as Shane McMahon steps out of the limo)

MARK: Where’s the music coming from?

RHINO: You got me. What does Shane have in his hand?

MARK: It’s a piece of paper. It’s gotta be important. He seems to be pointing at it and to Purgatory. Hey….you don’t suppose….

RHINO: It’s gotta be Purgatory’s contract half. I don’t see it being anything else.

MARK: Shane doing his signature shuffle and getting warmed up here. He looks ready to go. Who’s this now?

RHINO: A black and white Ford Expedition has just pulled up. Who’s in it? It could be anybody.

MARK: IT’S SID!

(Sid gets out of the truck and Purg hits another switch. “Bottle Of Rage” is now playing)

RHINO: The big blond beast has come back to the EWA!

MARK: He’s got his referee shirt on and is ready to go. Look at Shane get in his face. Sid just took that paper and handed Shane a megaphone.

RHINO: Bitch slap Shane, Sid!

MARK: We got two of our four men here. Now there’s a red Shelby Cobra pulling up. I wonder who this could be?

RHINO: Typical “pussy” car and I ain’t talkin’ house cats.

MARK: Hangin’ around Omega again? Jay Mack is here!

(Jay Mack gets out of the stretch and just sits by the door with “The Beautiful People” now playing and has an uninterested look to what’s going on)

RHINO: The most dangerous man in this match is Jay Mack. He’s had more ring time than both these two and has survived numerous grueling matches with Omega. Anybody who can do that is as tough as they come.

MARK: And now, it seems that everyone is waiting for Rob Parks.

RHINO: The big question is will Rob Parks pull up to the house or will his alter-ego, Vertigo, come to slaughter?

MARK: We’re about to find out I’m sure. We’ve got a jet black Hearst pulling up now.

RHINO: It’s Rob Parks! And he’s come as his dark alter ego; VERTIGO!

(Purg hits a switch and “Sober” starts to play)

MARK: Looks like one of the creatures of the night have come to play.

RHINO: Vertigo looks like he all zombie like coming toward Shane. Shane trying to work that megaphone now. He’s gonna cut a promo now? Why?

SHANE: Hold on Rob or Vertigo or whatever! I got a little stipulation I want to add. Let’s put more than our bodies on the line. I say let’s put the EWA’s pride and joy that no one talks about up! I’m talkin’ about the guy who’s been here almost as long as you. The guy right there by that pool. Whoever wins….get’s Purgatory’s full contract! What do you say? Or are you too chicken?

MARK: Purgatory’s future is on the line here.

RHINO: Vertigo looks at Purgatory for the go ahead and Purg shrugs as if to say go for it. This match is a go! Vertigo goes right for Shane!

MARK: And they’re beating each other senseless! What’s Jay doing?

RHINO: Jay is getting back into the car and getting out of here! What is he? Chicken?

MARK: He never wanted in this match to begin with. He might be going for some chicken for all we know.

RHINO: Gimme a two piece and a biscuit!

MARK: Where did those bulldozers come from? Two bulldozers are blocking the road off here. LOOK OUT! A Forklift just rammed right into the side of that Cobra and it’s now going up!

RHINO: Take a look at the driver.

MARK: Omega has struck! No one escapes this card! No one!

RHINO: Is he just gonna leave him up there?

MARK: Looks like it. We’re back in the house now where Vertigo and Shane are battling. Sid is there for one reason.

RHINO: To see that justice is served?

MARK: That and declare the winner.

RHINO: Look at the room they’re in. Time to make some deli slices.

MARK: They’re in the Butcher’s cutting area. Look at all that meat!

RHINO: Man….I don’t know how long I can sit here and take this. Did you see how good that fresh roast beef looked?

MARK: WHOA! Vertigo just hauled a Butcher’s knife at Shane and Shane barely….and I mean barely dodged it.

RHINO: Look at Shane. It just dawned on him what he’s stepped in! He hauled ass into the freezer! Shane truly is a pussy!

MARK: If he stays in there too long, he’s gonna be a frozen pussy. Vertigo is giving chase. It’s cold in there. Did Shane just hit Vertigo in the gut with a frozen salami? Shane follows it up with a smack on the back and now Vertigo is down.

RHINO: A waste of good meat.

MARK: This match is starting to go down that road of weird and wild. Shane is locking Vertigo in the freezer! This match is going to be over!

RHINO: How you figure that?

MARK: All Shane has to do is wait for Vertigo to pass out from the cold and he wins.

RHINO: That sucks!

MARK: Shane has locked Vertigo in the freezer and look at him celebrate!

RHINO: You think he just became the new EWA World Heavyweight Champion.

MARK: You think he’s out? Jay Mack just came out of nowhere and hit Shane over the head with a cutting board!

RHINO: Where did Jay come from and how did he get out of that car. Forget that. Shane just got cold cut clocked. Get it? Cold cut clocked! I’m a comic genius!

MARK: You’re corny as hell and Jay is now dragging Shane out of that room. Where are they going? Is that a bedroom? I thought this house only had four rooms.

RHINO: Maybe Purgatory built some extras.

MARK: I think I know what Jay’s gonna do. He’s gonna smother Shane with a pillow to win the match.

RHINO: I hope that’s what he’s gonna do.

MARK: What are you trying to say? Jay with a body press. He sends Shane onto the mattress. What the hell? Did you see the way Shane bounced and screamed off that mattress?

RHINO: The bed can’t be that hard, can it? It’s a bed of nails, Mark. A friggin’ BED OF NAILS.

MARK: Purgatory and his bonuses. Shane McMahon was just slammed onto that bed of nails and he’s in some serious pain.

RHINO: Bed uncomfortable Shane?

MARK: Jay with another body press. He just sent Shane right into that huge bedroom mirror!

RHINO: Because Mark sucks at color, Jay military pressed Shane and then lawn darted his ass a la Rey Mysterio Junior into the mirror. Shane bounced off the mirror, bounced off the dresser, and landed in broken glass. Now he’s starting to bleed. Where’s the neon green blood, Shane? Looks red to me.

MARK: Jay is dominating this fight. Now Jay drags Shane. Where are they headed? Looks like a bathroom. Another bonus room? Jay dragging the now bleeding Shane into the bathroom. He’s opening the toilet bowl. This ain’t gonna be pretty. Jay slam dunks Shane’s head into the toilet bowl!

RHINO: I just wish that there was something in that toilet. Why did he flush?

MARK: He might be trying to say that Shane’s career is about to go down the commode. Jay celebrating over the fallen son of Vince McMahon.

RHINO: I don’t think he’s celebrating.

MARK: Why is Jay adjusting his pants? You don’t suppose he’s gonna….

RHINO: DO IT! DO IT, JAY! PISS ON THAT SILVER SPOONED SON BITCH!

MARK: I think we’re about to see “trademark Omega” here! Shane lifts his leg and Jay’s voiced got a little higher!

RHINO: DAMN IT. Shane gets in a low blow before Jay got piss off.

MARK: Shane hammering away on the back of Jay with forearms and pounding away with the fists. Not making too much of an impact. Shane picks up a plunger now. Shoves it in the gut of Jay. Shane’s on a roll so far but he needs to keep going here and not allow Jay to retaliate. Another low blow followed by a chop block. Jay Mack is staggered. Shane picks up a “Caution: Wet Floor” sign and slaps Jay in the head.

RHINO: The floor was bone dry. Uh-oh. Now you’re playing with power.

MARK: When you come back from the Nintendo flashback, Shane and Jay are near the Power Room. Shane opens the door. Man. Look at all those loose wires. That room has got to be like stepping on a subway rail.

RHINO: C’mon Jay….shake it off and send him in there. Damn it. Shane is rollin’ here.

MARK: Shane lands a jab. He looks at his hand in amazement. Another jab. Shane floatin’ like a butterfly and stingin’ like a bee here. Shane shakin’ and bakin’….

RHINO: JUST PUNCH HIM ALREADY, DAMN IT!

MARK: Shane looking to finish. Block by Jay Mack! Kick to the gut. Hooks him. REAL DEAL DRIVER!

RHINO: Factor that, beee-aych!

MARK: Shane just got a Real Deal Driver into the floor here and it just might be over right here!

RHINO: That’s what he gets! HA!

MARK: Sid starting the count here. One….two….three….four….five….JEFF JARRETT! Where did he come from? Jeff Jarrett has struck! Did you see what he did?

RHINO: Yeah and I heard what he did. He came from behind and put that solid steel guitar Purgatory gave him to use and nailed The Real Deal. All you heard was a clunk sound. That steel is unforgiving. No smack. No echo. A solid clunk. Like he got hit with a baseball bat or something.

MARK: Jay is down. Shane is down. Right now, Vertigo is freezing his ass off. If he’s still holding on, Vertigo could win this without lifting a finger.

RHINO: He is or was the President. You gotta ask did he have something to do with what just went down after this is said and done.

MARK: Sid restarting the count now. One….two….three….four….five….six….seven….eight….

RHINO: VERTIGO! How did he get out of that freezer?

MARK: Must be one of those never get locked in models but who cares? Vertigo is loose and stomping all over Jay and Shane!

RHINO: No way was Vertigo gonna let the match go that way.

MARK: Vertigo working both Jay and Shane. Vertigo has Shane and he throws him into the dinnerware room.

RHINO: Time to dine!

MARK: Vertigo has now turned his attention to Jay Mack. Jay has not moved since that guitar shot. Vertigo with a pick up. He sends Jay into the Power Room! Look at the electricity fly! What the?

RHINO: Hardcore Theater has gone to static. A message from Extreme Impact?

MARK: I think all that electricity knocked something out. You’ll have to excuse us. We are having technical difficulties here.

RHINO: Expect the unexpected, Mark.

MARK: A shot of the grass? What’s going on? Hey, it’s Purgatory! Purg, what’s going on over there.

RHINO: Yeah man, fill us in.

PURG: Hello, this is Purgeraldo Rivera reporting live from the streets. As I speak to you, I stand behind a house. For the past few minutes, screams have been coming out of this house. I must say that this is indeed newsworthy. It is up to me, Purgeraldo Rivera, to be a nosy reporter and investigate. Let’s enter shall we?

MARK: Great. Purg pushes his instant parody button and now we got a third psycho entering that house.

RHINO: With “Purg Cam” flashing nonetheless.

PURGERALDO RIVERA: We are inside this house and I must say whoever built this house is truly disturbed. No, you’re not. Yes, you are. I am combing all the rooms now. I am in the hallway intersecting the rooms. Yes, Vertigo is bleeding. There is a shattered plate near his head. I am looking into the dinnerware room. There is Shane slumped into a chair bleeding profusely. Shattered dishes everywhere. I will take off my shoes and Riverdance later. Where is Sid? SID? SID! Can I have a word with you? Sid, what happened?

SID: The power….the power in that room knocked everything out. I just returned from the basement in this house and I saw the prone body of Jay Mack within the now powerless room. I counted to ten. Jay Mack is out. It’s now down to Shane and Vertigo.

PURGERALDO RIVERA: EMT’s are running into the room to treat Jay as I speak. Guys, keep calling what you see. I’m going to cover the match now.

MARK: Whatever you say “Purgeraldo.”

RHINO: Slaughterhouse madness captured on the Purg Cam. Am I the only one who thinks this sounds strange and sick at the same time?

MARK: Vertigo making his way into the dinnerware area. Shane looks exhausted.

RHINO: They don’t fight like this down in Greenwich.

MARK: Vertigo….AW MAN! He just drop-kicked Shane right in the side of the head! Shane goes tumbling out of the chair! Where’s he going?

RHINO: You got me. I can’t figure out Parks when he’s Vertigo.

MARK: He’s going into that drawer. He’s pulling out….forks and spoons? Why? He has a silver spoon. What’s he gonna do? Stab him with the spoon? This is gonna get messy.

RHINO: If you got a weak stomach, I suggest not to watch.

MARK: He’s got the spoon. Puts it on the table. Hooks Shane, Reverse Suplex on the table. That table did not give! Vertigo slides to the other side with the spoon. What the hell is he up to? He takes the spoon and….stuffs it down his slacks?

RHINO: I see where this is going!

MARK: Vertigo drop-kicks Shane right in the ass!

RHINO: YES! YES! YES! VERTIGO JUST TOOK THAT SILVER SPOON AND KICKED IT UP SHANE’S ASS! MAN, I LOVE THIS DAMN BUSINESS SOMETIMES!

MARK: Shane in deep trouble. Vertigo with another pick up. Irish whip. Reversal by Shane right into the China Cabinet!

RHINO: Don’t treat me like a woman….Don’t treat me like a man….

MARK: Not that kind of China. Shane has bought himself some time here. Both men are down. Sid laying in the count. Shane and Vertigo taking it without choice. Sid now up to seven and Shane is up. Staggered, but up. Shane trying to get out of that dinnerware arena.

RHINO: He’s walking funny because he’s got a silver spoon up his ass.

MARK: I’m sure that spoon fell out long ago. Shane trying to find a way out here. The door should be easy to find but Shane doesn’t know where he is. Vertigo doesn’t know where he is. The Purg Cam is shooting surprisingly well here. Both men are tired as hell, worn the fuck out, bleeding and just tired of fighting in this hell here. Shane is just trying to get out of here. Where are we now? It’s the wood shed.

RHINO: Wrong turn, jackass.

MARK: More Omega material. Look at the look on Shane’s face.

RHINO: He’s got that “Man, did I fuck up big time” thing going on.

MARK: Shane goes down in the hallway. Vertigo frisbeed a dish to his back and Shane went down immediately.

RHINO: That had to hurt.

MARK: You think? Vertigo now stalking his prey. He picks Shane up and tosses him into the wood shed!

RHINO: Time to take somebody to the wood shed!

MARK: That somebody is Shane McMahon as Vertigo lays in the boots. He picks up a wooden plank and just drops it on Shane. Vertigo setting up the wooden table. Shane barely conscious. Vertigo has the table in place and droops Shane on it. What’s he gonna jump off of? Vertigo climbs that wooden scaffolding. Senton splash but Shane moves out the way and Vertigo visits the city of Pine!

RHINO: Sawdust everywhere.

MARK: Shane trying to use a second wind to now finish this off. Shane setting tables up now. He does to Vertigo. ANGLE SLAM through another table!

RHINO: You suck! What?

MARK: Shane not wasting anytime here. Shane with a pick up. Hooks him. Belly To Belly Suplex right into that wooden closet and Rob just slopes down head first onto that hard floor! Shane celebrating and feeling like this match is just about over.

RHINO: Shane got some extra gas and Rob’s too tired to fight back.

MARK: What’s he doing now? Looking out the window? Admire the view later. Shane is looking to do something. He picks up Vertigo. Another Belly To Belly right through that window! Vertigo just took an unexpected trip outside!

RHINO: Vertigo is out of the Slaughterhouse.

MARK: Shane slides a table out of the broken window and throws out a roll of duct tape and now jumps out of the house. Vertigo is sprawled out onto grass and broken glass.

RHINO: That table is pretty thick. It’s gonna take some serious impact to break that.

MARK: Shane celebrating out here. Shane lands a jab. He looks at his hand in amazement just like when he hit Mack. Another jab. Shane once again floatin’ like a butterfly and stingin’ like a bee here. Shane’s shakin’ and bakin’ again. Big right hand sends Vertigo vertical!

RHINO: And look at him move his feet. Who does he think he is? Ali?

MARK: Shane jumping up and down like he’s won this. He sets up the table. Shane setting Vertigo on the table. What’s he doing? He’s duct taping Vertigo to that table!

RHINO: An old Purgatory trick! He does this as a set up for either Gimmick Superman or Big Bump Theory. Shane’s been paying attention!

MARK: Yeah right. Why does he tell the results writer to use “If I Should Die Before I Wake” instead of “Obliterate Man” for Omega’s intro music? Shane has taped Vertigo to that wooden table and gives some sort of signal. He’s going to the side of the house. He’s climbing the ladder and ascending to the diving board!

RHINO: Shane is goin’ for the finish. Damn it. He’s gonna own Purgatory’s full contract and hell comes to the EWA.

MARK: Shane on the diving board. He’s taking a few jumps. Shane going for the big elbow drop.

RHINO: Savage. Test. Michaels. McMahon?

MARK: Shane flies! NO! Aw man. Did you see that? Shane might me hurt big time here.

RHINO: Shane might have busted a rib or tore something there. As he took flight, Vertigo managed to flip the table to its side. Shane landed on the side of the table and made no contact with Vertigo. Add that to the fact that he had nothing but concrete to land on equals Shane busted up big time.

MARK: Shane is screaming. He’s absolutely letting loose blood-curtling screams out and I bet you love it.

RHINO: Hey, it’s called the Extreme Wrestling Alliance. We should see stuff like this and hear things like this more often. Not the watered down bullshit Shane’s been dishin’ down the throats of these great fans here.

MARK: And now, Vertigo is free. Free to unload massive carnage. Shane is screaming and look at Vertigo with that sick smile.

RHINO: Shane’s the only one not smiling. Vertigo is smiling. Purgatory is smiling. Sid is smiling. I got a big ass smile. Everyone is smiling, Mark.

MARK: Vertigo picks up Shane by his hair. Hooks him. THAT’S INCREDIBLE!

RHINO: That’s Incredible? A That’s Incredible Tombstone Piledriver? What does that mean besides Shane getting dropped head first into the concrete?

MARK: Vertigo sets the table. Now he’s got the duct tape. Now he’s taping Shane to the table. He puts some tape on his mouth?

RHINO: I’ve been wanting to do that for the longest.

MARK: Oh man! He just ripped it off!

RHINO: I’m only going to say this once because it creeps me out. He wants to hear the screams and see the suffering. ‘Nuff Said.

MARK: Now Vertigo is climbing the ladder. He’s getting on the board. Looks like he’s gonna dive of as well. What the hell? FIVE….STAR….FROG….SPLASH!

RHINO: What is he trying to say? Is DX soon to split? Please say that.

MARK: Vertigo is hurt big time. Shane is out on a broken table. Sid is counting. Purg is shooting away with the Purg Cam. Jay Mack is taking a hospital ride. Vertigo just did his former friends’ finishers. I am completely breathless.

RHINO: This is the “Omega Effect.” I’m lovin’ it, man.

MARK: Sid starting the count. One….two….three….four….five….six….seven….eight….Vertigo is up….nine….ten!

PURGERALDO RIVERA: Here is your winner: VERTIGO!

MARK: The boss has just handed Shane McMahon an ass kickin’ he’ll never forget!

RHINO: Yes! I could do without Purg trying to hum “Sober” on the Purg Cam though.

MARK: I guess that just about does it for us here. Vertigo welcomed Shane to the Slaughterhouse and showed him who runs the house.

RHINO: And now what will Rob Parks also known as Vertigo do with the full contract of the Resident Psycho?

MARK: We’ll eventually find out. Before we leave, I’ve just been told that we will have another pay per view.

RHINO: Another one?

MARK: Yeah. One created by Shane McMahon straight from the hospital because Omega and Purgatory have something very important going down Saturday.

RHINO: Lame card time. Wake me when it’s over.

MARK: I don’t know about that. I’ve heard this to be extreme….as in EXTREME BOWL 2002! See you all later!

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