Psyko-Balistic 2002
Mark:Welcome everyone to PSYKO-BALISTIC… Live from Juneau, Alaska… On Pay Per View tonight… We are here presenting Psyko Balistic… Which is gonna be one hell of an event…
Rhino:You bet your ass Mark… Its gonna be one hell of an event…
Mark:With our Main Event being a Ultimate Gimmick Match up… Between Psyko Boy William McConnell…And Lone Jobber…
Rhino:I predict a very strange and unusual match up there…
Mark:But thats not all… As we will be burying somebody alive as Jay Mack defends his World Heavyweight Championship… Against Stone Cold Steve Austin…
Rhino:The Rattlesnake and the Real Deal are gonna lock horns tonight… And man thats gonna be a great match…
Mark:Also tonight the eWa X Championship will be on the line… In a Handicap Hell in a Cell Match… As Omega battles Two Members of Degeneration X… Shawn Michaels and Triple H…
Rhino:God I hope Omega dishes out a beating of a lifetime on to Degeneration X…
Mark:Plus we have a whole lot more… So lets head to the ring to start off the night…
Branding Iron Match
Sabu vs Demon Child
Pa Announcer:The oppening match at Psyko Balistic… Is a Branding Iron Match… The way to win is by branding your opponent…Introducing first… From Bombay, Mi… Weighing in at 225 Pounds…SABU…
(Sabu’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Kennewick, Wa… Weighing in at 189 Pounds… DEMON CHILD…
(Demon’s theme hits as he makes his way to the ring…)
Mark:Well Here we go…Demon Child and Sabu tie it up now in the center of the ring…
Rhino:One man will be branded… Maybe the second one for Demon…
Mark:Sabu sends Demon in to the ropes… Back body drop by Sabu… Demon Child gets back up on his feet… And Sabu knocks him down with a clothesline…
Rhino:SpringBoard Moonsault by Sabu…
Mark:Sabu goes for a cover but you dont cover your opponent in this match up…
Rhino:He should have realized that…
Mark:Now Sabu scoops up Demon Child… Demon slides out…And now pushes Sabu in to the corner… Big Clothesline by Demon Child and he takes down Sabu… Demon Child is putting the boots to him right now…
Rhino:Demon Child seems focused in on this match up…
Mark:Demon Child now hooks up Sabu and nails him with a piledriver…
Rhino:More boots by Demon Child…
Mark:Demon Child setting up Sabu… Big Slingshot by Demon Child…
Rhino:Sabu hit his head hard on to the ring post…
Mark:Demon has the Branding Iron… And brands him right in the lowerback… ITS OVER…
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner… DEMON CHILD…
Rhino:Demon Child pulled out the win… In our opening match…
Mark:Well its time to hit the cold streets of Juneau Alaska…
Alaskan Street Fight
Shawn Stasiak vs New Jack
Mark:Well actually they are right out back of the arena right now…As the city commission has only allowed them to have a fight there…Cause of risks that may happen…
Rhino:Well as I can see Shawn Stasiak… Standing around… Waiting for New Jack…
Mark:There is New Jack with a Hockey Stick in hand…
Rhino:Shawn now has a broom stick… And looks like some sort of sword type fighting… Is about to begin…
Mark:Looks like it… Both men…Trying to get an advantage with their weapon of choice…
Rhino:New Jack knocks the broom stick out of his hands…
Mark:New Jack swings for his head… Shawn ducks… And nails him with a right hand…
Rhino:That one stunned New Jack…
Mark:Shawn nails him with a couple of more right hands as well… Shawn grabs the hockey stick and sweeps him off his feet…
Rhino:Thats gotta hurt the back… With the fall on the cold hard cement…
Mark:Shawn goes to nail him in the stomach… Kick by New Jack to Shawns knee… And has made him stumble somewhat…
Rhino:New Jack is back up on his feet now…
Mark:New Jack nails him with a couple of shots… Shawn swings him in the wall…
Rhino:Shawn has a trash can now…
Mark:And he nails New Jack right in the head… And another shot by Shawn Stasiak… Shawn Stasiak now scoops him up and rams him right in to the wall…
Rhino:Powerslam by Shawn Stasiak…
Mark:Cover by Shawn Stasiak… 1…………..2…………….3……..
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner SHAWN STASIAK…
Rhino:Shawn picked up the win… In the street fight…
Mark:Both men tried for an advantage… And the one Shawn got… He took advantage of it… But now lets head to the ring…
eWa Tag Team Title Last Man Standing Match
Jeremy Mack & Beaver Boy(c) vs Lenny and Lodi
Pa Announcer:This next match is a Last Man Standing Match for the eWa Tag Team Championship… Introducing first… The Challengers… Weighing in at 432 Pounds…. LENNY AND LODI…
(L&L’s theme hits as they make their way to the ring…)
Pa Announcer:Their opponents… Weighing at 500 Pounds… Accompined to the ring by Sara J. McMahon… The eWa Tag Team Champions… JEREMY MACK AND BEAVER BOY…
(J&B’s theme hits as they make their way to the ring…)
Mark:Well here we go… It is Beaver Boy and Lenny in the ring to start off this match… Lenny charges at Beaver Boy… Beaver ducks Lenny and now spins Lenny around and nails him with a couple of right hands…
Rhino:Beaver Boy is rocking Lenny’s world like crazy…
Mark:Beaver Boy scoops him up and slams Lenny down to the canvas…Leg drop by Beaver Boy…
Rhino:Beaver Boy with the tag to Jeremy Mack…
Mark:Jeremy Mack now picks him up and pushes him back in to the corner… And is now drilling his shoulder right in to Lenny… Boots by Jeremy to Lenny as he is knocking him down in the corner…
Rhino:Tag back in to Beaver Boy…
Mark:Beaver Boy and Jeremy Mack… Nailing him with boots… As he is still in the corner… Beaver Boy sends him in to the otherside… Beaver grabs him and sends him back in to the other corner…
Rhino:Each time Lenny nails the corner… He loses more and more wind… As he smashes his back hard in to the turnbuckles…
Mark:Beaver Boy tags in Jeremy Mack as they nail him with a spike piledriver…
Rhino:Lodi wants in to this match up real bad… You can see it in his eyes…
Mark:Jeremy Mack now hooks him and nails him with a suplex… Jeremy Mack hooks him up again… Lenny gets out…
Rhino:Lodi has been tagged in…
Mark:Lodi nailing Jeremy Mack with right hands… Before he sends him off in to the ropes… Big clothesline by Lodi…
Rhino:Lodi is a house of fire…
Mark:Lodi turns around… SPEAR BY BEAVER BOY…
Rhino:He Drove Lodi straight in to the mat…
Mark:Jeremy makes the tag to Beaver Boy now…Beaver Boy now hooks him up…BEAVER DAM by Beaver Boy… And Lodi is out…
Rhino:Lenny is down right now as well…
Mark:The Ref is up to 8…9…10… ITS OVER…
Pa Announcer:Here is your winners and STILL eWa Tag Team Champions… JEREMY MACK & BEAVER BOY…
Rhino:Jeremy and Beaver Boy proved that they are the top tag team at the moment… And Sara is happy that here new team is on a roll…
Mark:Well its now time for… Your favorite Match… The Spanking Match…
Rhino:YIPE!!!
Spanking Match
Jenna Prime vs Stacy Kibler
Pa Announcer:This next match is a Spanking Match… Which means the winner gets to spank their opponent with a wooden paddle… Introducing first… The Lovely STACY KIBLER…
(“Legs” hits as she makes her way to the ring…)
Pa Announcer:Her opponent… From New York City… JENNA PRIME…
(Jenna’s theme hits as she makes her way to the ring…)
Mark:Well Rhino… The bell has sounded…
Rhino:Oh Yes it has…
Mark:Jenna just slapped Stacy right in the face…
Rhino:ITS CAT FIGHT TIME…
Mark:Jenna sends Stacy Kibler right in to the ropes…Reversal by Stacy… And she nails Jenna with a big spin kick…
Rhino:I love those long legs of Stacy Kibler… Oh My…
Mark:Stacy picks her up… Jenna with another slap… And a couple of forearm shots… Jenna nails her back in to the ropes… Cross body by Jenna 1…………………2…………… Stacy kicks out…
Rhino:Man why couldnt she just stay down…
Mark:Jenna now has her hooked… PRIME ENDING by Jenna Prime… Cover 1……….2………..3……
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner… JENNA PRIME…
Rhino:Let the spanking begin…
Mark:Jenna is spanking Stacy Kibler right in her behind…
Rhino:Look how red her ass has gotten…
Mark:Stacy rolls out of the ring a loser… While Jenna is standing tall in the middle of the ring…
Rhino:Yes she is…
Mark:Well as the Hell in a Cell comes down… It is now time for the Hell in a Cell Handicap Match…
eWa X Title Handicap Hell in a Cell Match
Omeg(c) vs Triple H & Shawn Michaels
Pa Announcer:This next match is a HANDICAP HELL IN A CELL MATCH… And it is for the eWa X Championship… Introducing first… The Challengers… Weighing in at 472 Pounds… Representing Degeneration X… The Heartbreak Kid SHAWN MICHAELS and The Game TRIPLE H…
(“Break it down” hits as DX makes their way out to the ring…)
Pa Announcer:Their opponent… From Parts Unknown… Weighing in at 411 Pounds… The eWa X Champion… OMEGA…
(“If I die before I should wake” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)
Mark:Well here we go…
Rhino:This is gonna be a huge war…
Mark:I think so… Well right now DX is standing on one side of the ring…
Rhino:And Omega is steaming on the other… This is gonna be so awesome…
Mark:Michaels and Triple H charge at Omega… Omega knocks down both HBK and HHH with a double clothesline…
Rhino:Looks like they got regroup…
Mark:Omega knocked down both The Game and HBK… The Game is back up first… And goes for a low blow… On Omega…
Rhino:That stunned the big man…
Mark:Michaels goes for the Superkick… Omega catches his leg… And nails him with a dragon screw leg whip…
Rhino:That can pull your hamstring apart…
Mark:The Game nails Omega with right hands… Triple H now whips the big man in to the ropes… Flying Clothesline by Omega…
Rhino:Man did he get high in the air with that move…
Mark:Omega now grabs Shawn Michaels and presses him over the top rope and to the floor… The Game comes right back at Omega with right hands… The Game goes for another one… Omega blocks… And has him by the neck… CHOKESLAM by Omega… On The Game…
Rhino:I am so loving this match up…
Mark:Omega now on the outside and picks up Michaels and drives him face first in to the cell… Omega grabs Michaels by the neck and throws him up on the cell…
Rhino:The Game has a chair…
Mark:Chair shot by The Game on the back of Omega…
Rhino:That is slowing down Omega…
Mark:Triple H with another couple of shots right to the head with the steel chair… Chair shot to the knee…
Rhino:That has now dropped Omega to his knees…On the outside…
Mark:The Game clotheslines Omega and now mounts him and is delivering right hands right to the head…
Rhino:The Game is starting to swing the momentium in favor of Degeneration X…
Mark:Michaels is back up and The Game and Michaels are stomping away the big man…
Rhino:Michaels and Hunter roll him back in to the ring…
Mark:The Game drops a knee on to Omega…
Rhino:The Heartbreak Kid is up on the top rope…
Mark:Big Time Elbow Drop by Michaels… The Heartbreak Kid covers Omega 1…………….2…………. Kickout… By Omega…
Rhino:There is still fight in the big man…
Mark:Michaels is now mounting Omega and is about to nail him with right hands…
Rhino:Omega grabs him by the neck…
Mark:The Game charges in… BIG BOOT by Omega… And Omega throws Michaels over the top rope and to the floor…
Rhino:The Game is down… And The Heartbreak Kid is down… Good Times Good Times…
Mark:Omega now breaks down the door of the Hell in a cell… And is carrying Michaels up the top of the hell in a cell…
Rhino:This is not going to be good for Shawn Michaels…
Mark:Triple H is climbing up the cage now… Omega slams him down right on the top of the cell…
Rhino:The Game has a sledgehammer… He had it hooked up at the top of the cage…
Mark:The Game from behind nails Omega right in the back of the head with it… Triple H putting the boots to him now that he is down…
Rhino:Triple H is calling for the pedigree…
Mark:The Game has him hooked…BACKBODY DROP by Omega…
Rhino:Look at that part of the cell beginning to break apart…Could be anytime now that it collapses…
Mark:The Game is rolling around now… And now Omega is back up… SWEET CHIN MUSIC…
Rhino:Michaels hit the kick… But Omega is still standing…
Mark:Michaels nails him with another Superkick… Omega falls back… OH MY GOD… Omega falls through the hell in a cell…
Rhino:The Second kick knocked the 400 Pounder down and out…Through the cell… That was already coming apart…
Mark:If either Michaels or Hunter can get down… They can win this match up…
Rhino:Michaels is climbing down the broken part of the cell…
Mark:Michaels drops an elbow drop on to Omega… Cover 1………………..2……………..3……. ITS OVER…
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and NEW eWa X Champion… SHAWN MICHAELS…
Rhino:DX slayed the big bad monster… And The Heartbreak Kid is the new X Champion…
Mark:That was a war… Eh Rhino…
Rhino:Yes I say so…
Mark:Well its time for the Buried Alive Match… So lets get to the ring…
eWa World Title Buried Alive Match
Jay Mack(c) vs Steve Austin
Pa Announcer:This next match is a BURIED ALIVE MATCH and it is for the eWa World Heavyweight Championship…Introducing first… The Challenger… From Victoria Texas… Weighing in at 252 Pounds… STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN…
(“Glass Breaks” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Miami, Florida… Weighing in at 274 Pounds… The eWa Vice President… A member of the Outkasts… The eWa World Heavyweight Champion… Real Deal JAY MACK…
(“Click Click Boom” hits as he makes his way to the ring…)
Mark:Stone Cold doesnt wait for the bell…Right hands by The Rattlesnake and it is knocking back The Real Deal… The Real Deal is knocked back to the ropes… And Steve Austin nails him with a clothesline…
Rhino:Jay Mack is not in a good position right now…
Mark:Steve Austin looks to drive the elbow… But Jay rolls right out of the way…
Rhino:The Rattlesnake is back jack… And he is a house of fire early on…
Mark:Jay Mack slowly enters the ring… And gives a thumb to the eye of Stone Cold… Jay Mack hooks Stone Cold with a suplex… The Real Deal now picks up the rattlesnake and slams him down right on to the canvas… Jay Mack now shoots the rattlesnake in to the corner…
Rhino:Stone Cold with a big clothesline as The Real Deal was coming in…
Mark:Stone Cold now putting the boots to the Real Deal in the ring and now whips him in to the ropes… Lou Thez Press by the Rattlesnake…
Rhino:Elbow Drop by Steve Austin… And Jay Mack is getting a fresh can of whoop ass right now from the texas rattlesnake…
Mark:Jay Mack stagers back up to his feet… Goes for a stunner… Jay pushes him off in to the ropes… Steve comes back and Jay nails him with a powerslam…
Rhino:Jay is taking another breather on the outside now…
Mark:Jay Mack has a steel chair and is bringing it back in to the ring… Baseball slide by Stone Cold and knocks Jay down off the apron…
Rhino:Steve and Jay are on the outside now…
Mark:Steve and Jay hammering each other with right hands… Stone Cold now nails Jays face right in to the steel guard rail…
Rhino:They are moving ever so close to the grave…
Mark:Steve sends Jay in to the dirt pile… Reversal by Jay… Steve hits it hard and now gets nailed with a clothesline…
Rhino:Jay is thinking of his strategy right now…
Mark:Jay with a low blow to Stone Cold as he is now dragging him up the hill… Jay hooking up Steve now…
Rhino:Could be a real deal driver…
Mark:Stone Cold gets out… And nails him with a clothesline and both men have fallen in the grave…
Rhino:Both men are fighting in that grave…
Mark:Stone Cold kicks him… Goes for a stunner… No… Jay Low blows the rattlesnake…
Rhino:Jay has brassknuckles…
Mark:Big right hand to Stone Cold… And he is now pounding the fists in on Stone Cold…
Rhino:Jay is now out of the grave… And is now pileing the dirt in on Stone Cold…
Mark:The Officials have no stopped the match… We have a winner…
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner and STILL eWa World Heavyweight Champion… The Real Deal JAY MACK…
Rhino:The VP pulls it off and keeps his gold… And he now has control… As he will be presenting Headgames 2…
Mark:That is correct…And now we are heading back to the ring… For the Ultimate Gimmick Match… As our Main Event…
The Ultimate Gimmick Match
“The PsYko Boy” William McConnell Vs Lone Jobber
Fall One: Inferno Hell In A Cell/Goldust Vs Undertaker
Fall Two: Ladder/Eddie Guerrero Vs Lodi
Fall Three: Toys B Purg/Original Gimmicks
Mark:The cage is lowering…the ring is surrounded by fire…both men are in..(bell sounds)And here we go…PYB looking like Goldust…Jobber looking like Undertaker…
Rhino PsYdust and The JobberTaker….
Mark: Jobbertaker with hard rights to Psydust…Jobber sends Psydust into the ropes…Psy stops just in time…
Rhino: Any farther and this match would be over…
Mark:Psy charges back at Jobber…Jobber catches Psy by the neck..going for the Chokeslam…Psy with a low kick…Psy goes for a high kick…he stops…
Rhino: Its not a thing Goldust does…Psy hits a scoop slam…
Mark: Psy whips Jobber into the ropes…jobber barely misses the flames…Psy hits a very goldust-ish move…high butt to the face…jobber back up…Psy with rights…a left…Psy sends Jobber back into the ropes again..jobber once again misses the flames…he shoots back and lands the flying clothesline..
Rhino: Its alot easier for someone like Jobber to do that…Less weight….
Mark: Jobber twists Psydust’s arm…hes going for the rope walk…hes up…wait..Psy trying to knock him off…he knocks him backwards…Jobber misses the flames and hits the cage…
Rhino: Hows the match supposed to end now…
Mark: Psy looking around…he runs towards the turnbuckle…he runs up it…leaps off the top…he lands on Jobber…and both men break through the cage…
Rhino: Goldust never does that…
Mark: Now we can see the match continue…Psy up first…Psy grabs Jobber by the head…hes signaling it…Jobber lifts Psy up and rams him right into the cage…and again…and again…Psy is down…Jobber waist for it…Psy’s up…Jobber grabs him…Chokeslam by the Jobbertaker…
Rhino: Jobber could have it…all he needs to do is throw him into the flames…
Mark: Jobber picks up Psy…he whips him at the flames…Psy catches himself…he turns around…jobber goes for the running clothesline…What the hell…
Rhino: PsYdust just did the matrixx….and jobber hits the flames…the first fall is over…
PA ANNOUNCER: THE WINNER OF THE FIRST FALL…WILLIAM MCCONNELL…
Mark: The cell is raising…and the suitcase is lowering…and the crew is putting Jobbers flames out…
Rhino: And now both men have are switching attire…PYB just slips the Goldust suit off….and wipes the face paint…hes already got Guerrero’s tights on…Jobber the same…PsYko Guerrero and Loni…
Mark:Both men trading blows… Psyko Guerrero and Loni now competing in a ladder match…
Rhino:They just went through a war their last match… And heres another one…
Mark:Psyko Guerrero whips Loni in to the ropes… Head scissors take down by Psyko Guerrero… Psyko Guerrero now whips him in to the ropes… Loni sees him drop his head… And nails him with a DDT…
Rhino:Loni grabs the ladder and brings it back in to the ring…
Mark:Loni has the ladder set up in the corner… Whip by Loni… Psyko Guerrero reverses… And Loni goes face first in to the ladder… Psyko Guerrero now rides the ladder down on to Loni…
Rhino:Thats gotta hurt…
Mark:Psyko Guerrero has the ladder set up in the corner…
Rhino:He is now climbing up the ladder…
Mark:Frog Splash by Psyko Guerrero… LONI moves out of the way of that one…
Rhino:Loni now slams down Psyko Guerrero on to the ladder…
Mark:Loni now on the top rope… Big Splash and he connects on the ladder…
Rhino:Psyko Guerrero is hurt…
Mark:Loni now sets up the ladder and has retrieved the suitcase…
PA ANNOUNCER: THE WINNER OF THE SECOND FALL…LONE JOBBER…
Mark: Final fall…..Toys B Purg match….
Rhino: Both men changing attire once more…Its the final match…
Mark: Both men are ready…and theres the bell…PYB getting some rights on jobber….he sends Jobber into the ropes…Jobber comes back…and PYB already hits a Superkick…
Rhino: Hes trying to put this match away fast…
Mark: PYB to the outside…hes looking under the ring…he found something…its that item he was carrying around earlier…whats in the bag…PYB in the ring…Jobber hits a few rights…he lands a vertical suplex….
Rhino: Both men are pretty tired…
Mark: Jobber catching his breath…PYB on all fours…Jobber into the ropes…PYB grabs that object…JOBBER IS OUT!!
Rhino: Whats in that bag…PYB reaches in the bag and pulls out the item…
Mark: Is that a glass folding chair?? And its covered with barbed wire…Jobbers starting to bleed…PYB goes for the cover…
Rhino: 1…………..2…………….no…Jobber kicks out…look at PYB…he can’t believe it…
Mark: PYB to the top…it could be over…10….no…Jobber moved…PYB is down…
Rhino: Jobber to the outside…Jobber gots a toy of his own…its PYB’s torch…
Mark: PYB making it to his feet…he turns around…jobber with the torch…
Rhino: PYB got his arms up to block his face…but now his arms are burnt…hes in some serious pain…
Mark: PYB goes for a PsYko Kick…Jobber ducks…THE GIMMICK!! Its Over…
Rhino: 1……………2…………PYB kicks out…
Mark: Jobber heads to the outside again…now hes got a glass baseball bat…pyb slowly getting up…he grabs the chair…jobber in the ring…both men up…both men swing…and both men are out…
Rhino: Whos gonna get up first??
Mark: Its looks like Jobber…Jobber to his knees…pyb starting to get up…Jobbers to his feet…he picks up PYB…Jobber whips PYB into the ropes…PYB reverses…Jobber into the ropes…Jobber flys back…PYB catches Jobber…PSYKO BOMB….
Rhino: Can he put it away…can he finish it…
Mark: PYB to the top…10.0 FROGSPLASH…Its has to be over…he goes for the pin….
Rhino: 1…………………….2………………………..3….Its over….
PA ANNOUNCER: YOUR WINNER….”THE PSYKO BOY” WILLIAM MCCONNELL…
Mark: William McConnell pulled it out after an amazing match….
(“Shattered” hits over the PA SYSTEM….)
Rhino: Why are they playing Goldust’s theme??
Mark: There he is…the real Goldust…hes applauding….
Rhino: Why is he here??
Mark: I don’t know…but we’re out of time…See you at Headgames 2….