March Madness 2006

Al Snow: It’s been nothing but living up to the name of March Madness as we head into the main event but before that, a quick review. Al Snow along with Rhino calling it from Duke U. Rhino, colleges are rowdy so how do you rate this crowd?

Rhino: Well this Crowd is top notch and seems very excited and is ready to see some great EWA Action Mark… I mean Al Snow… I’m so used to saying back to you Mark… Just like the Dukeys I cant wait to see our main event…

Al Snow: Personally, it’s anything Ohio for me, but first off what came about before we go into this main event. First off, there was Raven against Buck Diamondback. I know Raven like the back of my hand and Rhino, I can’t remember the last time I saw him that fired up as he faced Buck Diamondback.

Rhino: Al, it seems like Raven is focus to dish out a beating to show everyone that he is back in the EWA and back with a purpose… On the other hand… Everyone’s Favorite Utah Cowboy, didn’t seem like he had it all together…

Al Snow: It seemed liked he was off during the whole thing because the match was pretty much a punch party. Raven and Buck beat the crap out of each other then Buck decided to try and make it a DDT war. One he lost.

Rhino: It seem Al that Buck Diamondback wasn’t ready to compete tonight, unlike Raven who was able to pull out all of his old tricks including an impressive bulldog which did Buck in…

Al Snow: Raven was Raven. All the way up to an unbelievable Evenflow from the middle turn buckle onto an open chair. I think Raven wanted to use a flaming table but there are fire codes here at Duke U.

Rhino: They couldn’t go as Extreme as they wanted… But it was enough to get the job done…

Al Snow: Raven took it home then said that the next time you would see him would be “in an all too familiar place.” Raven’s all about mystery so I’d like to see what that means. Raven came off a successful return and then it was about another showing as The Brothers Of Destruction made their monthly debut against the team of Berserk and The Dark One.

Rhino: There were high expectations with the Brothers of Destruction going in to this event, but I think they let us down a little bit as they didn’t come off as the Dominant team that we are used to seeing.

Al Snow: They may have not clicked like they wanted to but they did win. Just too much power for Berserk and The Dark One to take on. Berserk and Dark One tried their best with fast tags and even faster chair use. The Dark One even gave Kane a sick chair shot but it just wasn’t enough when “the real darkside” got going.

Rhino: Experience was the key, as The Undertaker and Kane proved to have the experience when they got Berserk up for a Double Chokeslam… Which was really impressive…

Al Snow: I liked that one too but then they got really nasty when they nailed The Dark One with a Spike Tombstone Piledriver that looked like it broke The Dark One in half and as The Brothers Of Destruction won, this Duke crowd came out of their seats when Vertigo of all people returned and pretty much took both The Undertaker and Kane out.

Rhino: Guess Vertigo got free and went crazy on the Brothers of Destruction… Its always good to see Vertigo back in the EWA… Its never the same with out him…Have you seen Purgatory? As I could use a good snack before the Main Event…

Al Snow: All I know is he told me he had “to do something at his other job.” Still a mystery to me where he works besides here. Looks like your too late, Rhino. Here comes Kitana Baker and she’s decked out in a Duke Cheerleading uniform. Wolf whistles a-plenty and this must be time for the main event.

Kitana Baker: Ladies and gentlemen, this following contest is a triple threat match set for one fall and is your main event of the evening! Tonight’s referee will be CHRISTY HEMME!

Al Snow: Ummmm…..Rhino, Christy and Kitana are in Duke Cheerleading outfits. Rhino?

Rhino: Yeah they are looking good tonight…I wish I could eat them up…We have three impressive men that will be competition in this match up including our boss, Omega… Who is looking to get back in to the swing of things…

(“The Omen” by DMX starts playing out the P. A. System)

Rhino: And speaking of Omega… He seems to be on his way down to the ring…

Al Snow: Not his usual music as Omega and Teddy Long are coming down. I can’t help but notice that Omega is wearing a Dixon Terps jersey and what’s that sign say? “Your Lacrosse Team Are Rapists uhhhh….won’t say that last word that starts with an F.

Rhino: Yeah he is not a fan favorite here with the Dukeys… But you wouldn’t expect him to be… Omega seems to be the favorite with the size advantage over the other two…

Al Snow: Favorite in the match. Not here in Duke U. Omega steps over the ropes like their not even there and he and Teddy are awaiting the next entrant.

(“Play That Funky Music” by Cherry Wild starts playing out the P. A. System)

Kitana Baker: And the next participant in this match….from Chicago, Illinois….THE RETRO PLAYA!

Rhino: Everyone knows about Retro Playa, he is a former EWA Champion and has been known to cause controversy under another identity… But here on Monthly he has had success…Unlike Omega and Jeremy Johnson… He has been wrestling every single month…

Al Snow: You can call him Retro or Lone Jobber but by any horse of another color is running to the ring and stops at the outside. I guess he’s going to wait for The Impact Player to come down.

(“One Man Army” by Pro Pain starts playing out the P. A. System)

Kitana Baker: And now, introducing the final participant for this match….”THE IMPACT PLAYER” JEREMY JOHNSON!

Rhino: Paul Heyman is bring him down to the ring and Paul believes that The Impact Player is going to make a huge Impact on the EWA…

Al Snow: Paul, Retro and Johnson all on the outside and Paul is actually talking some strategy with the two. Retro and Johnson rush the ring and here comes the double team! Retro and Jeremy with a bum rush and Omega’s covering up or down since he’s so big and Retro and Johnson both have him in the corner! Double push off and double clothesline! Retro and Johnson quickly roll outside. Just too much size, Rhino!

Rhino: It looks like they need to think of a different Strategy if they want to take out Omega… Heyman is whispering in to Jeremy’s ear and he likes what he is telling him… Retro Playa and Jeremy look at one another…Retro headed in to the ring but Jeremy Johnson stayed on the outside… I think that was a double cross right there
Al…

Al Snow: They were going to try something. Heyman smiling as Retro ran into a brick wall with Omega. Omega picking up Retro by the head and almost slams him head first into the mat J. J. Redick style! Johnson has a steel chair! Omega doesn’t see him! Steel chair to the huge back of Omega and no effect! Johnson with another shot to the right side of Omega! Still no effect! What’s it going to OOOOHHH! Double low blow by Retro and Johnson! Retro with a push from behind and Omega gets pushed into a DDT!

Rhino: Omega is too big they are going to have to get him grounded and keep him grounded if they even have a chance of eliminating him from this contest… Which means like it or not, at least for the moment they will have to work together, but they don’t seem capable of it Al…

Al Snow: Johnson picks the chair back up and is wailing away at Omega! Retro’s still hurt from being dunked and Johnson has just decimated that chair on the body of our boss! Johnson tosses the chair to the side. Off the ropes and a quick leg drop to Omega’s head as Retro starts to get up.

Rhino: Retro just picked up the chair that Johnson threw down…Paul Heyman is screaming at Jeremy to turn around… Jeremy seems to be backing away from Retro Playa as he doesn’t want to take a chair shot…

Al Snow: Jeremy with a front pull of the tights and Retro just went into the turnbuckle face first and mask first into chair! Paul Hey mean smiling as Johnson turns Retro into the corner and lands a huge chop! WWWOOOO!

Rhino: That Chop seem like it stung a little bit… And there was another one…Retro Playa just got sent hard in to the other corner… Jeremy Johnson Charges… Omega is up and stops Jeremy right in his tracks…

Al Snow: Omega with that huge foot to the chest of Johnson! Omega turns around and splashes NO! He hit nothing but turnbuckles as Retro moved at the last second! The whole ring moved, Rhino!

Rhino: That seemed like a good two or three inches that the ring moved… It looks like Retro Playa is on the turnbuckle… Flipping Neckbreaker shades of Buff Bagwell on to Omega by Retro Playa… Did I just say Buff Bagwell?

Al Snow: Retro trying to pull out his Lone Jobber arsenal and he didn’t even get a one count! Retro trying to scramble up and he goes back down with a running knee to the back by Johnson! Johnson not wasting any time going for and locks in an STF!

Rhino: He is trying to get to the ropes… Look out below… A Four Hundred Pound Leg Drop crashing down on the head of Jeremy Johnson… That’s a big leg dropping down on you…

Al Snow: Omega hit 2 for 1 and now, he looks pissed off! He has Johnson by the head! Hooks him. Returns that DDT he got earlier! Now, he has Retro. Hooks him too. Another DDT? No! A suplex….no! A stalling suplex! Retro looks like he’s going to be up there for a while.

Rhino: Will he ever come down? Because it seems like he has been up there forever…

Al Snow: Jeez, let him down! Where’s Jeremy Johnson going? Jeremy Johnson on the outside looking for something. Omega finally drops Retro who had to be up there for a good two minutes!

Rhino: I think we are going to get our first taste of tables here tonight as Jeremy has pulled one out from underneath the ring…

Al Snow: And Johnson has to do something about Omega before this match gets one-sided. Johnson trying to get on Omega’s blind side as Omega has his back turned to Johnson. Omega pushes Retro into the corner and is just tearing his insides up with those shots to the ribs and chest! Omega turns around to a leg trip and Omega goes through the table! Johnson has a chance to put this one away as he goes right for Retro!

Rhino: It seems like Retro Playa is in some trouble as Jeremy has him setup for his finishing move… The Total Impact… Retro is once again vertical… Now can he take him over for the Total Impact…

Al Snow: Nails it perfectly! Look at Paul cheer as if he hit the lotto while running ECW! Johnson has Retro! April Hunter comes into place! 1! 2! Save by Omega and a modified senton bomb! Johnson got a long two and where the hell

Rhino: I don’t know where he came from but Jeremy was not happy to see him at all… He is starting to slug it out with Omega and that’s not a smart move… Even Paul Heyman is saying so…

Al Snow: Johnson trying to go punch for punch but it’s like bricks versus Mount Rushmore! Omega with those huge hands and….well, I guess he tells Duke U how he feels for them as he sends Johnson into the mat with a devastating spinebuster sucking the air right out of him! Can you hear me over these boos, Rhino?

Rhino: Did you say something? Cause all I hear is a bunch of boos… But I did see Paul Heyman look angry because Impact Player was drilled in to the mat… While Teddy Long looks happy as his man is back in control…

Al Snow: Omega has just manhandled. What was….get him out of oh no! Ladies and gentlemen, a fan just hopped over the barricade and hit Omega in the back and celebrated in the ring a little but he got kicked in the back by Omega and is in deep trouble here! Omega’s got him up! Security doesn’t know what to do! NO! NOT THE SCREWDRIVER! OH NO! THIS KID HAS JUST GOT THE SCREWS PUT TO HIM! Rhino, oh man. I’ve never seen anyone’s body bend that way as the EMT’s are clamoring to the ring after Omega pushed that kid’s limp body outside the ring. You do not get in the ring as a fan and expect not to pay the price, Rhino.

Rhino: Why in the world would he do such a thing? Does he know the legal mess he is in now? Jeremy Johnson from behind… SCHOOL BOY!

Al Snow: April’s in perfect position! 1! 2! No! Huge kick out! Omega didn’t see that nor did he see that chair to his head by Retro! Now Retro with a shot to Johnson! A shot to Omega! A shot to Johnson! Retro raining chair shots everywhere! April would probably get hit too if she wasn’t out here by us!

Rhino: Its Extreme Violence at its best right now… As both Johnson and Omega are basically out on their feet…Retro goes to hit Omega again an he ducks and he caught Jeremy Johnson square in the head and that finally knocked him out of the ring…

Al Snow: Johnson out of the ring and Omega with a huge boot to the mask of Retro that takes him down! Omega wasting no time. Picks him up. Iron Claw? That’s no good on….no! Huge Claw Slam by Omega! His version of the choke slam except he grabs the opponent by the face and in this case, his mask! Retro got dunked! Omega rolls outside quickly. Puts Johnson back in the ring. Lifts him with a press slam! No! He tosses him up and over and right onto Paul Heyman outside the ring! Retro still down! What’s Omega doing? HOLY MOLEY! THAT HAD TO BE THE BIGGEST MMONSAULT I’VE EVER SEEN! Cover! Hunter! 1! 2! 3! Omega grabbed the top rope and hopped up there quickly and landed a four hundred pound moonsault! We’ve got a holder of the trophy!

Kitana Baker: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and holder of the Monthly Extreme Trophy….OMEGA!

Al Snow: Omega with only Teddy Long cheering as he takes away the first ever Monthly trophy! Rhino, what did you think about that moonsault and the speed of it?

Rhino: Omega showed off why he is the most gifted big man in wrestling today and that is why he is holding the Monthly Extreme Trophy… You have to give it to Retro Playa and Jeremy Johnson… They tried to tackle the monster…but they couldn’t get the job done tonight…

Al Snow: You know what, Rhino? This crowd is getting pretty hostile here! Al Snow saying see you at Strange Days because I’m leaving NOW!

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