Saturday Night Torture 09-19-09
Mark:We are at the final stop before the biggest night of the year Glory, as we are live here in Indianapolis, Indiana for Saturday Night Torture and Rhino, gotta say, there is a certain energy in this place as we get set for Glory in under two weeks…
Rhino:Mark, this is what everyone lives for, the moment to make an impact, the moment to make your mark before all of the eyes of the wrestling world are upon you at Glory…
Mark:Our Main Event tonight features two men who will go in to Glory as champions, as it will be the EWA World Heavyweight Champion J-Twisted teaming with the EWA Total Impact Champion Troy “The Rampage” Joseph as they will battle the newly reunited tag team of Chris Jericho and Josh Stewart…
Rhino:Can the champions get along? They hope so… As we all know that Josh Stewart and Chris Jericho are a force to be dealt with…
Mark:Also tonight the new era of DX is born,as William McConnell and Lone Jobber make their names as DX when they battle Subway and his partner, Rebel…
Rhino:It will be interesting to see what William McConnell and Lone Jobber have up their sleeve as they head in to Glory…
Mark:What hangs in the air is will Triple H be here tonight…
Rhino:No one has seen him since last week… So who knows…
Mark:Its going to be an exciting night as we gear up for Glory… As we now get set for tonights opening contest here at Saturday Night Torture…
Alexis Laree & Lilith Evans vs HBIC Ezay Pusay & Trish Stratus
Pa Announcer:Tonights Opening Contest is set for one fall… Introducing first…From Shangrla… Weighing in at 115 Pounds… HBIC EZAY PUSAY!
(“What is a Juggalo” plays as HBIC Ezay Pusay enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:Her partner…From Toronto, Ontario, Canada… Weighing in at 124 Pounds… TRISH STRATUS!
(“Keys to the City” plays as Trish Stratus enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:Their opponents…Introducing first…From Baltimore, Maryland… Weighing in at 135 Pounds… LILITH EVANS!
(:Thoughtless” plays as Lilith Evans enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:Her partner…From Baltimore, Maryland… Weighing in at 124 Pounds… The EWA Womens Champion…ALEXIS LAREE!
(“Fake It” plays as Alexis Laree entrs the arena…)
Mark:It will be HBIC Ezay Pusay and Alexis Laree starting things out… Collar and Elbow tie up in the center of the ring and both women battle for position… Alexis Laree with a headlock in on HBIC Ezay Pusay… HBIC Ezay Pusay fights out of it with elbows right to the ribs of Alexis Laree…
Rhino:She is hammering in with those elbows…
Mark:HBIC Ezay Pusay shoves Alexis Laree off in to the ropes… Alexis Laree comes off the ropes…HBIC Ezay Pusay goes for a clothesline… Alexis Laree ducks underneath the clothesline and comes off the other side… Running Head Scissors by Alexis Laree taking HBIC Ezay Pusay off of her feet…
Rhino:HBIC Ezay Pusay is getting back up in the corner…
Mark:Alexis Laree chagres in… Clothesline!
Rhino:HBIC Ezay Pusay is staggering out of the corner…
Mark:Alexis Laree charges at HBIC Ezay Pusay… Running Bulldog! No! HBIC Ezay Pusay shoves her off in to the ropes… Alexis Laree comes off the ropes and HBIC Ezay Pusay nails her with a running boot right to the face of Alexis Laree…
Rhino:The EWA Womens Champion is holding on to her face as she is trying to get back up on to her feet…
Mark:HBIC Ezay Pusay with hard forearms right to the face of Alexis Laree…
Rhino:She continues to hammer with those shots…
Mark:HBIC Ezay Pusay now scoops up and slams Alexis Laree straight down to the mat… HBIC Ezay Pusay comes off the ropes… Running Leg Drop! HBIC Ezay Pusay covers Alexis Laree 1……………2…………..Kickout by Alexis Laree…
Rhino:HBIC Ezay Pusay is tagging in Trish Stratus…
Mark:Trish Stratus now just stomped right on the face of Alexis Laree…
Rhino:That was a hard shot…
Mark:Alexis Laree is now trying to get back up on to her feet… Trish Stratus now whips Alexis Laree off in to the ropes… Back Elbow! Knocking Alexis Laree right off of her feet…
Rhino:Trish Stratus is now heading up on to the top rope…
Mark:Alexis Laree is staggering up on to her feet… Trish Stratus comes off the top rope… Flying Crossbody! No! Dropkick! By Alexis Laree…
Rhino:That caught Trish Stratus really good right in the midsection…
Mark:Alexis Laree crawls to the corner and tags in Lilith Evans…
Rhino:Trish Stratus tags in HBIC Ezay Pusay…
Mark:Lilith Evans comes charges at HBIC Ezay Pusay and takes her off of her feet with a running clothesline…
Rhino:HBIC Ezay Pusay gets right back up…
Mark:Lilith Evans now hooks up HBIC Ezay Pusay… Front Face Suplex! By Lilith Evans driving HBIC Ezay Pusay right in to the mat… Lilith Evans covers HBIC Ezay Pusay 1………………..2………………Kickout by HBIC Ezay Pusay…
Rhino:HBIC Ezay Pusay is slowly getting back up on to her feet…
Mark:Lilith Evans now kicks HBIC Ezay Pusay in the midsection… Piledriver!
Rhino:HBIC Ezay Pusay dropped right on her head…
Mark:Lilith Evans now tags in Alexis Laree…
Rhino:HBIC Ezay Pusay is trying to get back up on to her feet…
Mark:Lilith Evans and Alexis Laree send HBIC Ezay Pusay off in to the ropes… Double Dropkick! By Alexis Laree and Lilith Evans…
Rhino:Nice double team move right there…
Mark:Alexis Laree covers HBIC Ezay Pusay 1………………..2…………..3……NO! HBIC Ezay Pusay gets her shoulder up…
Rhino:Alexis Laree is now waiting for HBIC Ezay Pusay to get back up on to her feet…
Mark:HBIC Ezay Pusay is getting up… Alexis Laree lines her up… CHICK KICK! NO! HBIC Ezay Pusay spins Alexis Laree around… DDT!
Rhino:Nice counter by HBIC Ezay Pusay…
Mark:HBIC Ezay Pusay crawls to the corner and tags in Trish Stratus…
Rhino:Alexis Laree is back up…
Mark:Trish Stratus charges at Alexis Laree and takes her off of her feet… Thez Press! With right hands by Trish Stratus…
Rhino:The EWA Womens Champion is staggering back up…
Mark:Trish Stratus whips Alexis Laree off in to the corner… Alexis Laree comes out of the corner… Running Bulldog!
Rhino:Alexis Laree is in trouble now…
Mark:Alexis Laree is trying to get back up on to her feet…Trish Stratus lines up the EWA Womens Champion… CHICK KICK!
Rhino:Big Kick right there…
Mark:Trish Stratus hooks the leg 1……………….2………………3………NO! Alexis Laree gets her shoulder up…
Rhino:Close one right there…
Mark:Trish Stratus is now waiting for Alexis Laree to get back up on to her feet…
Rhino:Alexis Laree is back up…
Mark:Trish Stratus has her setup… Blind Tag!
Rhino:HBIC Ezay Pusay just tug herself in…
Mark:HBIC Ezay Pusay and Trish Stratus are now exchanging words…
Rhino:I think Trish Stratus was looking to put Alexis Laree away…
Mark:HBIC Ezay Pusay hooks up Alexis Laree… DDT! NO! Countered… LAREE DDT!
Rhino:HBIC Ezay Pusay was planted…
Mark:Lilith Evans knocks Trish Stratus off the apron… Alexis Laree covers HBIC Ezay Pusay 1……………….2…………3…….. ITS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here are your winners ALEXIS LAREE and LILITH EVANS!
Rhino:The EWA Womens champion stays on a roll as we head in to Glory…
Mark:Alexis Laree will be defending the EWA Womens Champion in an Open Invitational Ladder Match at the biggest show of the year, Glory… Still to come tonight we will see the EWA World Champion J-Twisted and EWA Total Impact Champion Troy “The Rampage” Joseph team up to take on Josh Stewart and Chris Jericho…As we now get set for more action…
Put Up or Shut Up
Dante Daevain vs Chris Kane
Pa Announcer:This next contest is the Put Up or Shut Up Match… Introducing first…From Orlando, Florida… Weighing in at 320 Pounds… CHRIS KANE!
(“I Stand Alone” plays as Chris Kane enters the arena…)
Pa Anonouncer:His opponent…From Heaven Sent from the First Heaven… Weighing in at 327 Pounds… DANTE DAEVAIN!
(“Painting” plays as Dante Daevain enters the arena…)
Mark:The referee calls for the bell as Chris Kane attacks Dante Daevain with right hands…
Rhino:Chris Kane is opening up with hard shots right to Dante Daevain…
Mark:Chris Kane now whips Dante Daevain off in to the ropes… Dante Daevain with a reversal as Chris Kane now gets sent off in to the ropes… Back Body Drop!
Rhino:Chris Kane is getting back up…
Mark:Dante Daevain lines him up… Swinging Side Walk Slam! By Dante Daevain driving Chris Kane right in to the mat…
Rhino:Chris Kane was driven hard right in to the mat…
Mark:Dante Daevain is now waiting for Chris Kane to get back up on to his feet..
Rhino:Chris Kane is slowly getting back up on to his feet…
Mark:Dante Daevain now charges… Big Boot!
Rhino:Hard knock out shot right there by Dante Daevain…
Mark:Chris Kane is trying to crawl and get back up on to his feet…
Rhino:Chris Kane is moments away from being out of a job…
Mark:Dante Daevain hooks him up…FALL OF MAN!
Rhino:Chris Kane is out…
Mark:Dante Daevain covers Chris Kane 1……………….2…………3………. ITS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner DANTE DAEVAIN!
Rhino:Chris Kane is out of a job…
Mark:While Chris Kane is out of the job, Dante Daevain keeps his for now… As still to come tonight we will see Lone Jobber and William McConnell team up as they take on Subway and Rebel… As we now get set for more action…
Steele vs Al Snow
Pa Announcer:This next contest is set for one fall… Introducing first… From Lima, Ohio… Weighing in at 235 Pounds… AL SNOW!
(“What Does Everybody Want” plays as Al Snow enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent..From Nashville, Tn… Weighing in at 295 Pounds…STEELE!
(“Wings of a Butterfly” plays as Steele enters the arena…)
Mark:Steele and Al Snow ready to go right now… Steele nails Al Snow with a couple of hard right hands…
Rhino:Al Snow is coming back with right hands of his own…
Mark:Al Snow whips Steele off in to the ropes… Steele with a reversal… Al Snow comes off the ropes… Flap Jack!
Rhino:Al Snow driven right in to the mat…
Mark:Steele is now putting the boots to Al Snow… As Al Snow is now trying to crawl to the ropes…
Rhino:Steele really is hitting hard with those boots…
Mark:Steele now picks up Al Snow and now drives the knee right in to the midsection of Al Snow as he backs him up in to the corner…
Rhino:Steele is really firing in with shots to Al Snow…
Mark:Steele now with a hard irish whip and Al Snow goes hard in to the corner…
Rhino:Al Snow is staggering out of the corner…
Mark:Steele now hooks up Al Snow… Swinging Neckbreaker! Steele covers Al Snow 1……………….2…………….Kickout by Al Snow…
Rhino:Al Snow is slow to get back up…
Mark:Al Snow is back up and Steele hooks him up… Vertical Suplex!
Rhino:These two men will be part of the Four Way Dance at Glory for the EWA Total Impact Championship…
Mark:So you know one of these men will like to get the edge as they head in to Glory…
Rhino:I know I would…
Mark:Steele now picks up Al Snow again… Suplex! No! Al Snow escapes the suplex… Reverse DDT!
Rhino:Nice counter by Al Snow…
Mark:Steele is now trying to get back up… Al Snow now with right hands to Steele and now hooks up the arms… Trapping Headbutts!
Rhino:Steele is dazed…
Mark:Al Snow scoops up Steele… Shoulder Breaker! Al Snow covers Steele 1………………2…………Kickout by Steele…
Rhino:Steele is getting back up…
Mark:Al Snow whips Steele off in to the corner… Steele staggers out of the corner… Running Neckbreaker! By Al Snow laying out Steele…
Rhino:Steele is down as Al Snow is heading up on to the top rope….
Mark:Moonsault! Connects! By Al Snow… Al Snow covers Steele 1………………..2…………….3……NO! Steele gets his shoulder up…
Rhino:Close one right there…
Mark:Al Snow is now waiting for Steele to get back up on to his feet… Al Snow hooks him up… SNOW PLOW! NO! Steele escapes…
Rhino:Steele is now fighting back with right hands…
Mark:Steele hooks up Al Snow… OXIDATION!
Rhino:Al Snow has been laid out…
Mark:Steele covers Al Snow 1………………..2…………..3……..NO! Al Snow gets his shoulder up…
Rhino:Steele is now waiting for Al Snow to get back up on to his feet…
Mark:Steele is ready to put Al Snow away…
Rhino:Steele is looking to have a lot of momentum as he heads in to Glory to fight for the EWA Total Impact Championship…
Mark:Steele hooks him up… BESSEMER PROCESS! NO! Countered as Al Snow shoves him off in to the corner…
Rhino:Steele is staggering backwards…
Mark:Al Snow hooks up Steele… SNOW PLOW!
Rhino:Steele has been planted…
Mark:Al Snow covers Steele 1………………..2………….3………. ITS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner AL SNOW!
Rhino:Al Snow is the one who has built up some momentum as he heads in to Glory to fight for the EWA Total Impact Championship…
Mark:Glory is shaping up to be one hell of an event and I am being told that we will be having a Legends Battle Royal at Glory as well…
Rhino:That should be a lot of fun…
Mark:It could be… As we now get set for more action…
Rob Van Dam vs Big Daddy Ace
Pa Announcer:This next contest is set for one fall… Introducing First…From Battle Creek, Michigan… Weighing in at 237 Pounds… ROB VAN DAM!
(“Walk” plays as Rob Van Dam enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent…From Boston, Mass… Weighing in at 273 Pounds…BIG DADDY ACE!
(“My Salvation” plays as Big Daddy Ace enters the arena…)
Mark:Big Daddy Ace and Rob Van Dam lock up in the center of the ring…
Rhino:This is the rematch between Rob Van Dam and Big Daddy Ace from Beach Brawl when Big Daddy Ace beat Rob Van Dam for the EWA World Heavyweight Championship…
Mark:Rob Van Dam will be getting a chance to regain the EWA World Heavyweight Championship when he battles J-Twisted for the gold at Glory…
Rhino:Big Daddy Ace is set to team up with a partner to take on Chris Jericho and Josh Stewart who we will see later on tonight…
Mark:Rob Van Dam now with hard forearm shots to Big Daddy Ace backing him up in to the ropes… Rob Van Dam whips Big Daddy Ace off in to the ropes… Big Daddy Ace comes off the ropes… Monkey Flip!
Rhino:Big Daddy Ace gets back up…
Mark:Rob Van Dam now with a couple of kicks to the ribs of Big Daddy Ace as he now backs him up in to the corner… Rob Van Dam whips Big Daddy Ace off in to the farside…
Rhino:RVD is lining him up…
Mark:RVD charges in with a Shoulder Block! Big Daddy Ace moves out of the way and RVD goes crashing in to the ring post…
Rhino:RVD is staggering around…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace now scoops up Rob Van Dam… Running Powerslam!
Rhino:RVD driven right in to the mat…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace covers RVD 1…………..2…………Kickout by RVD…
Rhino:RVD is getting back up on to his feet…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace with right hands to Rob Van Dam… Big Daddy Ace hooks up RVD… Atomic Drop!
Rhino:RVD is spinning around…
Mark:Short Arm Clothesline! By Big Daddy Ace laying out Rob Van Dam… Big Daddy Ace covers RVD 1……………2……….Kickout by RVD…
Rhino:Big Daddy Ace is pulling RVD up on to his feet…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace is putting RVD up on the top rope…
Rhino:Big Daddy Ace has something in mind…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace hooks up RVD… Superplex! No! RVD Knocks Big Daddy Ace off the top rope…
Rhino:Big Daddy Ace is staggering back up…
Mark:Leaping Side Kick! Off the top rope by RVD…
Rhino:RVD caught Big Daddy Ace square in the face…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace is now staggering back up on to his feet right now… Rob Van Dam with a couple of forearm shots… Windmill Kick! By RVD laying out Big Daddy Ace…
Rhino:The Number One Contender is on a roll right now…
Mark:RVD drags Big Daddy Ace to the corner…
Rhino:You know whats coming here…
Mark:Split Leg Moonsault! No! Big Daddy Ace gets his knees up…
Rhino:RVD is spinning around dazed…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace whips RVD in to the ropes… Powerslam! Big Daddy Ace covers RVD 1………………2…………3……..NO! RVD kicks out…
Rhino:RVD is now trying to get back up on to his feet…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace is lining up the Number One Contender…
Rhino:RVD looks to be out of it…
Mark:Big Daddy Ace charges… SPEAR! NO! RVD leaps over Big Daddy Ace as Big Daddy Ace crashes hard in to the corner…
Rhino:Big Daddy Ace is spinning around…
Mark:Spin Heel Kick! By Rob Van Dam laying out Big Daddy Ace…
Rhino:RVD is up in the top rope…
Mark:FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH! CONNECTS!
Rhino:RVD got high there…
Mark:Of Course RVD got high and now he covers Big Daddy Ace 1………………2…………….3……….. ITS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner ROB VAN DAM!
Rhino:RVD is looking to once again become the EWA World Heavyweight Champion at Glory…
Mark:It will be a battle for respect when RVD battles J-Twisted for the EWA World Heavyweight Championship… As we now get set to see the New DX in Action…
Degeneration X vs Subway & A Partner of his Choosing
Pa Announcer:This next contest is set for one fall… Introducing first…Team Number One… Weighing in at a combined weight of 470 Pounds… The Team of LONE JOBBER and WILLIAM McCONNELL… DEGENERATION X!
(“Break It Down” plays as William McConnell and Lone Jobber enter the arena…)
Lone Jobber:Indianapolis, are you ready? NO, I said ARE YOU READY! Then, for the thousands in attentence, and the millions watching around the world, and for Shawn Michaels and Triple H because it seems Hunter wanted to know what his friends felt like without a job tonight… llllets get ready to SUCK IT…
McConnell:And if you ain’t down with that, we got just two words for ya..
Crowd:Suck It!
Pa Announcer:Their opponents… Weighing in at combined weight of 400 Pounds… The Team of REBEL and SUBWAY!
(“Hits From The Bong” plays as Subway and Rebel enter the arena…)
Mark:Subway is ready to go to War with William McConnell and Lone Jobber…
Rhino:Here we go…
Mark:Subway goes right after both Lone Jobber and William McConnell…
Rhino:He is nailing both guys with right hands…
Mark:Subway is really taking it to both men as he has knocked them both right of their feet…
Rhino:Subway said he was going to war and he is…
Mark:Subway whips William McConnell in to Lone Jobber…
Rhino:Lone Jobber and William McConnell are both staggering around…
Mark:Rebel charges at Subway… Subway lifts him up in the air and tosses him right in to William McConnell and Lone Jobber taking both men off of their feet…
Rhino:William McConnell and Lone Jobber both roll to the outside of the ring…
Mark:It seems like William McConnell and Lone Jobber werent expecting this kind of early attack from Subway and Rebel…
Rhino:The fans are getting behind Rebel and Subway at the moment…
Mark:William McConnell rolls back in to the ring and will now lock up with Subway…
Rhino:McConnell and Jobber want to slow down this pace…
Mark:Subway comes after William McConnell with a couple of hard shots… William McConnell ducks the Spinning Elbow from Subway and now opens up on him with right hands… William McConnell takes Subway off of his feet with a hard uppercut…
Rhino:William McConnell now putting the boots to Subway…
Mark:Subway gets back up and quickly gets taken right back off of his feet with a Snapmare… McConnell follows it up with a Flipping Neckbreaker!
Rhino:Subway’s neck snapped back right there…
Mark:William McConnell covers Subway 1…………..2………Kickout by Subway…
Rhino:William McConnell is dragging Subway in to the corner…
Mark:William McConnell and Lone Jobber hook up Subway… Double Suplex! By the new “DX”…
Rhino:They got rid of the old legacy from Shawn Michaels and Triple H and are now starting their own legacy of DX…
Mark:We will be seeing this version of DX taking on Triple H in a handicap match at Glory…
Rhino:You have to wonder what type of condition Triple H is going to be in when we get to Glory as he wasn’t even booked tonight after the beating he suffered last week…
Mark:No one has even heard from Triple H since last week…
Rhino:Which is suprising…
Mark:Lone Jobber is now hooking up Subway… Gutbuster! By Lone Jobber driving Subway right in to his knee…
Rhino:Subway is holding on to his midsection…
Mark:Lone Jobber covers Subway 1…………….2………..Kickout by Subway…
Rhino:Lone Jobber is now waiting for Subway to get back up on to his feet…
Mark:Lone Jobber hooks up Subway now… Hangman’s Neckbreaker! By El Presidente… Lone Jobber once again covers Subway 1………………..2…………Kickout again by Subway…
Rhino:You can see Rebel is itching for a tag…
Mark:Lone Jobber just did the Crotch Chop towards Rebel….
Rhino:Look Out!
Mark:Rebel dives in to the ring and is trying to get after Lone Jobber…
Rhino:The referee is holding him back…
Mark:William McConnell is in the ring as he and Lone Jobber are putting the boots to Subway behind the referee’s back…
Rhino:The crowd didn’t like seeing that…
Mark:Lone Jobber now tags in William McConnell… William McConnell and Lone Jobber whip Subway off in to the ropes… Double Clothesline!
Rhino:Lone Jobber and William McConnell are working well as a unit… Which is surprising after the comments they have been making towards each other…
Mark:William McConnell now hooks up Subway… Atomic Drop! Back Suplex! No! Subway gets out of the Back Suplex… Chop Lock!
Rhino:Subway just chopped the leg right out from underneath of William McConnell…
Mark:Both men are down right now…
Rhino:Subway is trying to crawl to his corner as he is looking to tag in Rebel…
Mark:Rebel wants to get in to this match up badly…
Rhino:Lone Jobber just got the tag from William McConnell…
Mark:Rebel gets the tag as well… Rebel charges at Lone Jobber… Charing Headbutt! By Rebel…
Rhino:Lone Jobber is bent over…
Mark:Small Package! By Rebel 1…………..2…………3……..NO! Lone Jobber kicks out…
Rhino:Lone Jobber is getting back up on to his feet…
Mark:Rebel stomps on his feet… DDT! By Rebel…
Rhino:Lone Jobber was planted…
Mark:Rebel is now heading up on to the top rope…
Rhino:It looks like Rebel is going to fly…
Mark:REBEL JAM! NO! Lone Jobber rolls out of the way…
Rhino:Rebel is now staggering back up on to his feet…
Mark:Lone Jobber lines him up… LOW CARD KICK!
Rhino:That’s gotta be it right there…
Mark:Lone Jobber covers Rebel 1………………..2…………..3………..NO! Subway comes in and breaks it up…
Rhino:Subway wants back in to this match up…
Mark:Lone Jobber is now hooking up Rebel… THE HERTIAGE! NO! Rebel crawls through the legs of Lone Jobber…
Rhino:Subway gets the Tag!
Mark:Subway charges at Lone Jobber and nails him with hard shots…
Rhino:William McConnell is in the ring now…
Mark:William McConnell now charges at Subway… Subway ducks and back drops William McConnell to the outside of the ring…
Rhino:Watch Out!
Mark:Subway turns around… LOW CARD KICK!
Rhino:Lone Jobber got all of that kick…
Mark:Lone Jobber covers Subway 1……………..2……………3…………NO! Subway gets his shoulder up…
Rhino:Close near fall…
Mark:Lone Jobber is now waiting for Subway to get back up on to his feet…
Rhino:Subway looks to be out of it…
Mark:Lone Jobber now kicks Subway in the midsection…
Rhino:Here it comes…
Mark:THE HERTIAGE! NO! Back Body Drop!
Rhino:Subway countered…
Mark:Lone Jobber gets back up… SUBLINE! CONNECTS! Subway covers Lone Jobber…
Rhino:Rebel is stopping William McConnell from getting in to the ring…
Mark:Heres the count 1……………….2……………3……….. ITS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here are your winners SUBWAY and REBEL!
Rhino:This isnt what Lone Jobber and William McConnell wanted as they head in to Glory…
Mark:No I dont think it was as they are fuming in the ring…
Rhino:They will have to get back on the same page and get things turned around as we head to Glory…
Mark:What will happen when…
(The Hardcore Theater dims as “Sober” plays as the screen comes on to a locker room decked out in leather couches and a large table is set in the middle with a large series of tapes, and cases of beer scattered amongst the table. Suddenly, a toilet flushes and a faucet is heard running before a separate door opens and Rob Parks steps out zipping up his pants.)
Rob Parks:Wha..ahh..Wow isn’t this awkward? I thought I told productions that I needed at least five minutes before doing their thing… “D” has come back..your Daddy has finally come BACK to the EWA! Who in the hell is that guy? I don’t even know. Would this face lie? Seriously, though I am gone to handle EWA business in France’s neck of the woods for a couple months, and I come back in hopes that all the arrangements had been made for the 10th Year extravaganza and THIS is what I see?
(Rob grabs a couple individually date labeled tapes and tosses them one by one in the trash. He walks over to a can of gas and brings it to the trash bin and pours some gas in the trash. He grabs a cigarette and a match striking it over the box, as the cigarette glows bright. Until Rob tosses the match into the bin, which erupts into a blaze he takes a drag of his cigarette.)
Rob Parks:Sorry you weren’t meant to see those, and I am honestly ashamed at what has happened in the past couple weeks. This place just hasn’t felt the same without me. The place seems a little dirtier than it formally was before I left, and not in a good way. Something seems out of place….something seems..funky. There is a slight disturbance in the Extreme… The aroma around here has changed. I don’t recognize the smell anymore, it is overran by greed and egos. There is no more want for blood, or that carnal instinct to just rip a man’s arm off and pick your nose with it! Alright so maybe I am exaggerating a little, but it STINKS TO HIIIIGH HEAVEN. You know since I was in France, I engaged in a couple bottles of their finest absinthe, and been doing some watching of EWA France TV in their version of a Howard Johnson. Believe you me I did everyone in that ring a favor, the people at Gitmo never had it so good. By the way Kofi Kingston has been now officially laid off as my travel agent.
(Rob takes another drag of his cigarette, wandering towards a mini fridge, reaching in and grabbing a Icehouse. He cracks it open and takes a long gulp, and cracks his knuckles.)
Rob Parks:So back to the matters at hand. As the OWNER of this company, I felt it WAS in the BEST interest to draw up a list of certain POWERS and let two people whom I felt were of decent morale character and integrity to handle business when I am off doing what I do to keep paying the rent on the corporate offices and keeping checks in hard working wrestlers pockets such as Subway….J-Twisted….Alexis Laree….Josh Stewart…Mark and Rhino, yes I know it is a smaller check but the signature is the same, ….and yes even you TWO. I took you two aside and gave you that opportunity to step into the world of sit down jobs, and afternoon rumors at the water tank. Well I heard rumors too, and I now I can see that they are TRUE! You two have turned this place into a fucking disaster zone in a series of simple tasks, that is maintaining a SELF-RUNNING COMPANY into a series of climactic FUCK-UPS, or have you two got your head up your ASSES so far that you cannot see for the shit in your eyes? I think my problem was when I trusted a man who bombed his own online company, and another man who wears thongs.. When I drew up your contracts, being the OWNER I put a little loophole in there that states I can sort of null and void any little ideas your off-set minds can conjure. With that being said, lets get you boys a little more ..comfortable. You see there was something that was missing and I just couldn’t of what is was, until I realized what it was….Iittle Jimmy, multiple cancer victim, wants to hear a certain man say “The KING… OF ….KINGS!!” and so I figured ten minutes at the office couldn’t kill me. Then I got an inspiration, and I tackled a couple more ideas….you know to spice things up a bit. Get the ball moving back in the right direction. Going back to awkward moments… Ahem…Would the real owner of THIS music please join the duo in the ring?
(“King of Kings” plays as out from the back walks Triple H…)
Rhino:Its Triple H! Coming out to his own music…
Mark:Lone Jobber isnt too happy with this…
Rhino:Triple H has a smirk on his face as you can see him all bandaged up from last week…
Rob Parks:Some how…you all don’t look too happy. Don’t worry, be happy! This is the 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY guys!!! 10 long…..years of beating each other up to a pulp. 10 is a special number tonight boys. Roman numeral for 10 is X, and what is an anniversary without reunions? I went to my 10 year high school reunion. It was fun roasted chicken and dried up honey pots.. Ex….Excuse me.
(Rob curls his lip and lets out a fart.)
Rob Parks:Hate when that happens….but sometimes luck is like that as well, so Hunter you can begin to remember your old lines again and head bang your chops to Motorhead all day. So now you are all wondering….”What’s Next?” This is the next on the list. Triple H, Christmas came early for you, and if you read that note that was slid under your door you understand. So Santa Vert is going to make another day. Where was I? Santa Vert…Motorhead..dried u–Ah reunions. From this moment on, the BAN and TERMINATION of “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels has been lifted and he is hereby reinstated to a full-time contract.
Jobber:Ha, Ha, Ha! Very Funny Rob. You reinstated a cripple. That’s a BRILLIANT Business decision if I have ever seen one.
McConnell:Jobber, dont you get it. Triple H can now wheel Shawn Michaels around to all the old folks homes for autograph signings, they will make a fortune.
Jobber:Very Good Point. So Congrats, Robby, you have….
Rob Parks:Did I tell you both that you could interrupt me? I didn’t think so. If you havent figured things out by now, let me clear it up for you. While some may think I dont know everything that goes on, trust me, I know more than the both of you will EVER know. So without further ado, folks help me TUNE UP THE BAND, as I RE-INTRODUCE SHAAAWWWWWWNN MICHAELS! NOW HIT HIS MUSIC!
(“Boy Toy” plays in the arena…)
Rhino:Shawns here?
Jobber:Time to see the cripple roll down in his wheel chair.
Mark:Well here comes Shawn Michaels as he is being pushed out on to the stage on his wheel chair…
Rhino:The fans are cheering for HBK…
Mark:Triple H is talking with Shawn Michaels…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels just pulled something off the side of his wheel chair…
Mark:Its the Sledgehammer!
Rhino:William McConnell arent joking around now that Triple H has that Sledghammer…
Mark:Triple H is starting to head down to the ring…
Rhino:Triple H just stopped half way down the ramp…
Mark:Lone Jobber and William McConnell started to exit the ring but they just stopped…
Rhino:Whats Triple H doing?
Mark:Triple H just ran back up to Shawn Michaels…
Rhino:Triple H and Shawn Michaels are talking..
Mark:Lone Jobber and William McConnell are laughing that Triple H has stopped to take care of Shawn Michaels…
Rhino:Triple H sees them laughing…
Mark:Triple H just mouthed… Are You Ready…
Rhino:Ready for?
Mark:Triple H is walking with a sledgehammer…
Rhino:Oh My God!
Mark:Shawn Michaels just got out the wheel chair… And they are off to the races…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels and Triple H are running towards the ring…
Mark:Lone Jobber and William McConnell have just bailed out of the ring and have left through the crowd…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels and Triple H are standing tall in the center of the ring right now…
Mark:It looks like Shawn Michaels has made a miraculous recovery… As he and Triple H are standing tall in the center of the ring…
Rhino:Listen to the crowd go crazy…
Mark:The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels is Back!
Rhino:What does this mean for Glory?
Mark:I have no idea… But Lone Jobber and William McConnell arent too happy about this one… As Triple H and Shawn Michaels leave the ring to a thunderous ovation from the crowd as we now get set for our Main Event…
J-Twisted & Troy “The Rampage” Joseph vs Josh Stewart & Chris Jericho
Pa Announcer:Tonights Main Eevnt is set for one fall… Introducing first… Team Number One… Weighing in at 476 Pounds…The Team of CHRIS JERICHO and JOSH STEWART!
(“Way of the Fist” plays as Josh Stewart and Chris Jericho enter the arena…)
Pa Announcer:Their Opponents… First…From Shangra-la… Weighing in at 225 Pounds… The EWA Total Impact Champion… TROY “THE RAMPAGE” Joseph…
(“Hall of Illusion” plays as Troy “The Rampage” Joseph enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His partner…From Brick City, NJ… Weighing in at 258 Pounds… The EWA World Heavyweight Champion…J-TWISTED!
(“La La La” plays as J-Twisted enters the arena…)
Mark:It is going to be Troy “The Rampage” Joseph and Chris Jericho starting things out… Troy “The Rampage” Joseph goes in and connects with a couple of right hands to Chris Jericho… Chris Jericho ducks a third right hand and connects with a couple of hard knife edge chops right to the chest of Troy “The Rampage” Joseph…
Rhino:Troy “The Rampage” Joseph is being backed up in to the corner…
Mark:Chris Jericho now whips Troy “The Rampage” Joseph off in to the farside… Troy “The Rampage” Joseph comes staggering out of the corner… Chris Jericho charges and connects with a running forearm shot… Chris Jericho covers Troy “The Rampage” Joseph 1……………….2……………Kickout by Troy Joseph…
Rhino:Troy Joseph is getting back up on to his feet…
Mark:Chris Jericho hooks up Troy Joseph… Snap Suplex! Blocked by Troy Joseph… Troy Joseph with a reversal and connects with a Snap Suplex of his own…
Rhino:Chris Jericho gets back up…
Mark:Chris Jericho charges at Troy Joseph… Hiptoss! By Troy “The Rampage” Joseph…
Rhino:Troy Joseph is bringing Chris Jericho over to the corner…
Mark:J-Twisted gets the tag from Troy “The Rampage” Joseph… Troy “The Rampage” Joseph and J-Twisted lift up Chris Jericho… Double Gutbuster! J-Twisted covers Chris Jericho 1…………….2…………Kickout by Chris Jericho…
Rhino:Chris Jericho is trying to get back up on to his feet…
Mark:J-Twisted with a couple of elbows right to the top of the head of Chris Jericho and now scoops him up and slams him straight down to the canvas…
Rhino:J-Twisted is now heading up on to the top rope…
Mark:Chris Jericho staggers up… J-Twisted comes off the top rope… Double Axe Handle! No! Shot to the midsection by Chris Jericho… Catcing the EWA World Champion in mid air…
Rhino:Chris Jericho is now tagging in Josh Stewart…
Mark:Josh Stewart picks up J-Twisted… European Uppercut! As J-Twisted is spinning around…Spinning Back Elbow! By Josh Stewart laying out the EWA World Heavyweight Champion…
Rhino:J-Twisted is now trying to get back up on to his feet…
Mark:Josh Stewart hooks up J-Twisted…Floatover Snap Suplex! Cover 1…………….2………….Kickout by J-Twisted…
Rhino:J-Twisted is trying to crawl towards his corner…
Mark:Josh Stewart is now tagging in Chris Jericho…
Rhino:Chris Jericho and Josh Stewart were a dominant team last week and they are looking to be right now…
Mark:Chris Jericho is now waiting for J-Twisted to get back up on to his feet… Chris Jericho charges… Running Bulldog! Driving the EWA World Heavyweight Champion straight in to the mat…
Rhino:Chris Jericho is taunting the crowd right now…
Mark:Chris Jericho comes off the ropes… LIONSAULT! NO! J-Twisted gets his knees up…
Rhino:Chris Jericho is now spinning around…
Mark:J-Twisted reaches out and makes the tag… Rampage opens up on Chris Jericho and nails him with right hands…
Rhino:He is really connecting with those shots…
Mark:Troy “The Rampage” Joseph whips Chris Jericho off in to the ropes.. Back Body Drop!
Rhino:Chris Jericho staggers back up on to his feet…
Mark:Troy “The Rampage” Joseph comes off the ropes… Flying Shoulder Block! Taking Chris Jericho off of his feet…
Rhino:Troy Joseph is now heading up on to the top rope…
Mark:Big Splash! Connects! As Troy Joseph covers Chris Jericho 1………………..2……………3……NO! Chris Jericho gets his shoulder up…
Rhino:Chris Jericho is now trying to get back up on to his feet…
Mark:Troy Joseph whips Chris Jericho off in to the ropes…
Rhino:Blind Tag!
Mark:Chris Jericho comes off the ropes…Powerslam!
Rhino:Troy Joseph is on fire…
Mark:Troy Joseph turns around… 720 ROUND HOUSE KICK!
Rhino:Josh Stewart caught him right in the face with that kick…
Mark:Josh Stewart covers Troy “The Rampage” Joseph 1………………2…………….3…….NO! J-Twisted comes in and breaks it up…
Rhino:The referee is trying to get J-Twisted out of the ring…
Mark:Chris Jericho is back in the ring… Double Clothesline! By Josh Stewart and Chris Jericho…
Rhino:Troy Joseph is now out of it as he is trying to get back up on to his feet…
Mark:The distraction led to the double team and right now Josh Stewart is looking to put the EWA Total Impact Champion away right now…
Rhino:Josh Stewart is now looking to put Troy Joseph away…
Mark:Josh Stewart just tug in Chris Jericho… As Josh Stewart now hooks up Troy Joseph…BRAIN DAMAGE! NO! Troy Joseph blocks… DDT!
Rhino:Chris Jericho is in the ring…
Mark:Running Enziguri KicK! Right to the back of the head of Troy Joseph…
Rhino:J-Twisted is in the ring now as well…
Mark:The referee is trying to get him out of the ring…
Rhino:Chris Jericho just brought a steel chair in to the ring…
Mark:Troy Joseph is trying to get back up on to his feet…
Rhino:Look Out!
Mark:Big Daddy Ace just hit the ring… SPEAR! To Chris Jericho…
Rhino:The referee didn’t see the Spear…
Mark:J-Twisted gets the tag…
Rhino:Josh Stewart is chasing Big Daddy Ace up the ramp…
Mark:Chris Jericho is staggering up on to his feet… ONE HITTA QUITTA! By J-Twisted..
Rhino:Chris Jericho is out…
Mark:J-Twisted covers Chris Jericho 1……………..2………….3………… HE GOT HIM!
Pa Announcer:Here are your winners J-TWISTED and TROY “THE RAMPAGE” JOSEPH!
Rhino:J-Twisted is heading to Glory with his hand raised high in the air…
Mark:Watch Out! Josh Stewart just came back in to the ring and attacked J-Twisted from behind…
Rhino:Troy Joseph is now back in the ring…
Mark:Josh Stewart and Troy Joseph are having a stare down in the center of the ring…
Rhino:Josh Stewart is backing away…
Mark:Look Out! Steele is the ring and now spins the EWA Total Impact Champion around… BESSEMER PROCESS!
Rhino:Steele has just laid out the EWA Total Impact Champion Troy Joseph…
Mark:Steele is holding up the EWA Total Impact Championship high in the air…
Rhino:Here comes Subway!
Mark:Subway is coming down to the ring and is looking to go after Steele…
Rhino:Here they go…
Mark:Steele and Subway trading shots back and forth… Steele gets sent off in to the ropes… SUBLINE!
Rhino:Subway has just laid out Steele and is looking down at the EWA Total Impact Title…
Mark:Al Snow is in the ring… Subway turns around… HEAD SHOT! By Al Snow laying out Subway…
Rhino:Al Snow is now picking up the EWA Total Impact Championship…
Mark:Bodies are left laying..As you have men willing to risk everything…
Rhino:Al Snow is now looking at the EWA World Champion J-Twisted trying to get up on to his feet…
Mark:Al Snow is lining up J-Twisted…
Rhino:Here comes RVD!
Mark:RVD chases Al Snow out of the ring with a Steel Chair…
Rhino:It will be Rob Van Dam and J-Twisted battling for the gold at Glory…
Mark:RVD is once again handing the EWA World Championship back to J-Twisted…
Rhino:Look at the bodies…
Mark:Its been a war here tonight… What will happen at….
(Lights Go Out)
Rhino:What is going on now?
Mark:I have no idea…
Rhino:Its been ten years… You would think someone would fix this light issue…
Mark:Why dont you…
(Lights turn on)
Rhino:ITS VERTIGO!
Mark:Everyone is gone… Vertigo is standing in the center of the ring…
Rhino:The Godfather Has Returned!
Mark:We are out of time… SEE YOU AT GLORY! GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!
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