Seasons Beatings 2010
Mark:We are live in Raleigh, North Carolina for our annual Holiday Event… Seasons Beatings…
Rhino:What better place than Raleigh North Carolina…
Mark:Tonight we have huge matches to get to… Including our Main Event… Its a Glory Rematch… Shawn Michaels and Lone Jobber in the Holiday Bowl…
Rhino:The Holiday Bowl is becoming an EWA Tradition especially for Lone Jobber… The question is… Can Lone Jobber finally beat Shawn Michaels…
Mark:We will see if he can do it tonight… Also tonight… Two number one contenders matches…
Rhino:And a partridge in a pear tree?
Mark:No no… But I am being told some breaking news right now…
Rhino:I like breaking news…
Mark:I am being told a Former EWA Superstar will be making a return here tonight…
Rhino:Do you have any other details?
Mark:Not at this time… But we will know more as the night goes on… As we now get set for our opening contest here at Seasons Beatings…
Triple H vs Carlito
Pa Announcer:Tonights Opening Contest is set for one fall… Introducing first… From Greenwich, Ct… Weighing in at 260 Pounds…Representing Degeneration X…The Game TRIPLE H!
(“King of Kings” plays as Triple H enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From The Caribbean… Weighing in at 231 Pounds… CARLITO!
(“Cool” plays as Carlito enters the arena…)
Mark:Well here we go… Triple H locks up with Carlito…
Rhino:Both men are battling for position…
Mark:Carlito with a kick to the midsection and scores with a couple of shots…Triple H is being backed up in to the ropes by Carlito… Carlito whips Triple H off in to the ropes… Clothesline!
Rhino:Triple H gets right back up on to his feet…
Mark:Carlito scoops up Triple H and slams him straight down to the canvas…
Rhino:Carlito is jaw jacking with a couple of fans at ringside…
Mark:Triple H gets back up on to his feet… Carlito hooks up Triple H and nails him with a vertical suplex… Carlito covers Triple H 1……………..2…………..Kickout by Triple H…
Rhino:Carlito is taking it to Triple H here in the early going of this match up…
Mark:Carlito is backing Triple H up in the corner with shots…
Rhino:Triple H seems a bit dazed here in the early going…
Mark:Carlito is now driving his shoulder right in to the midsection…
Rhino:Carlito continues to hammer away at Triple H in the corner…
Mark:Carlito whips Triple H off in to the farside corner…
Rhino:Here comes Carlito…
Mark:Carlito charges in… Triple H gets his boots up…
Rhino:Carlito is spinning around after running right in to the boots of Triple H…
Mark:The Game comes out of the corner and nails Carlito with a running clothesline…
Rhino:That took Carlito right off of his feet…
Mark:Carlito is getting back up on to his feet dazed right now… Triple H lines him up… Knee Buster!
Rhino:Carlito is spinning around…
Mark:Short Arm Clothesline! Spinning Carlito inside out right there…
Rhino:Triple H is starting to feel it right now…
Mark:The fans are getting behind The Game at the moment…
Rhino:Carlito is using the ropes to get back up on to his feet…
Mark:Carlito is back up on his feet… Triple H sends him for a ride in to the ropes… Running High Knee!
Rhino:The Game is in control of this match up right now…
Mark:Triple H is now waiting for Carlito to get back up on to his feet…
Rhino:The Game has him in position…
Mark:SPINEBUSTER! NO! DDT!
Rhino:Nice counter by Carlito…
Mark:Carlito covers Triple H 1………………2…………….3……..NO! Triple H gets his shoulder up…
Rhino:Carlito is now waiting for Triple H to get back up…
Mark:BACKSTABBER! NO!
Rhino:Triple H held on to the ropes…
Mark:Carlito’s head bounced right off the canvas…
Rhino:Carlito is now trying to get back up on to his feet…
Mark:SPINEBUSTER! Connects this time…
Rhino:Triple H drove him straight in to the canvas…
Mark:Carlito is now out on his feet basically…
Rhino:Triple H is going to put him away right now…
Mark:PEDIGREE!
Rhino:That’s gotta be it…
Mark:Triple H covers Carlito 1………………2…………..3……….. ITS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner TRIPLE H!
Rhino:The Game picks up another victory and tonight its over Carlito…
Mark:Still to come tonight it will be the Holiday Bowl when Lone Jobber battles Shawn Michaels… To follow up on the story we mentioned at the top of the show… We are told that the superstar that is in the limo that we were following as we came on the air contains a former EWA World Champion…
Rhino:So not only is this person a former superstar… But its a former World Champion…
Mark:Yes Rhino and we are told that this limo is getting closer to the building and we will have a camera crew setup in the parking lot for when it arrives here at Seasons Beatings… But now its time to get to the ring for more action…
Dexter Fishbourne vs Danny Danger vs Doomsday
Pa Announcer:This next contest is set for one fall… Introducing first…From Baltimore, Maryland… Weighing in at 300 Pounds… DEXTER FISHBOURNE!
(“Frontier Psychiatrist” plays as Dexter Fishbourne enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent…From Parts Unknown… Weighing in at 295 Pounds… DOOMSDAY!
(“The Unnamed feeling” plays as Doomsday enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:And his opponent…From Los Angeles, California… Weighing in at 150 Pounds… DANNY DANGER!
(“Break Free” plays as Danny Danger enters the arena…)
Mark:Dexter Fishbourne and Doomsday are face to face in the center of the ring…
Rhino:Doomsday is taller… But they both are big men…
Mark:Dexter Fishbourne and Doomsday are trading shots back and forth in the center of the ring…
Rhino:They are laying in the shots…
Mark:Danny Danger has stepped back and is letting these two guys go at it…
Rhino:Dexter Fishbourne is backing the bigger man Doomsday in to the ropes…
Mark:Dexter Fishbourne whips Doomsday in to the ropes… Reversal by Doomsday… Dexter Fishbourne comes off the ropes… Shoulder Block!
Rhino:That was a collision…
Mark:Doomsday with a kick to the midsection and now hooks up Dexter Fishbourne… Gutbuster!
Rhino:Doomsday with a huge gut buster right there…
Mark:Watch out! Springboard Dropkick!
Rhino:Nice move by Danny Danger…
Mark:Danny Danger just caught Doomsday off guard…
Rhino:Doomsday staggers back in to the ropes….
Mark:Danny Danger charges… Flying Crossbody taking Doomsday out of the ring…
Rhino:Both men go over the top rope and to the floor…
Mark:Danny Danger now goes back up on the top rope…
Rhino:Dexter Fishbourne is getting back up on to his feet…
Mark:Missle Dropkick! No!
Rhino:Dexter Fishbourne swatted him away…
Mark:Danny Danger is getting back up on to his feet…Headbutt!
Rhino:That took Danny Danger right off of his feet…
Mark:Dexter Fishbourne is now sticking his foot right down in to the throat of Danny Danger…
Rhino:Doomsday is trying to get back up on to his feet on the outside of the ring…
Mark:Dexter Fishbourne whips Danny Danger off in to the ropes… Samoan Drop!
Rhino:Danny Danger driven hard right in to the mat…
Mark:Dexter Fishbourne covers Danny Danger 1……………2………………….3…No! Danny Danger kicks out…
Rhino:Last Week Dexter Fishbourne was impressive when he beat the EWA World Heavyweight Champion Mr. Anderson and many believe he deserves a shot to fight for the gold at New Years Evil…
Mark:Doomsday is back up on the apron… Dexter Fishbourne chagres and knocks Doomsday off the apron and back to the outside of the ring…
Rhino:Doomsday went crashing hard in to the steel guard rail…
Mark:Dexter Fishbourne is now waiting for Danny Danger to get back up on to his feet…
Rhino:Danny Danger looks to be out of it right now…
Mark:Dexter Fishbourne hooks up Danny Danger… Backbreaker!
Rhino:Danny Danger is hurting…
Mark:Dexter Fishbourne is now coming off the ropes… Big Splash! Connects!
Rhino:Danny Danger is out of it…
Mark:Dexter Fishbourne covers Danny Danger 1…………..2…………3……….NO! Doomsday pulls Dexter Fishbourne out of the ring…
Rhino:That’s one way to break up the pin fall…
Mark:Doomsday and Dexter Fishbourne are now battling on the outside of the ring…
Rhino:They are once again trading some big shots…
Mark:Doomsday kicks Dexter Fishbourne in the midsection and now drives him head first in to the steel steps…
Rhino:Dexter Fishbourne is spinning around…
Mark:Doomsday with a clothesilne taking Dexter Fishbourne off of his feet…
Rhino:Doomsday is now going back in to the ring…
Mark:Danny Danger is using the ropes to get back up on to his feet…
Rhino:Doomsday is waiting…
Mark:CHOKESLAM!
Rhino:Danny Danger driven right in to the mat…
Mark:Doomsday is now waiting for Danny Danger to get back up on to his feet…
Rhino:Dexter Fishbourne is back up on the apron…
Mark:Wait a minute!
Rhino:Mr. Anderson just jumped the rail…
Mark:Mr. Anderson pulls him off the apron and now rams Dexter Fishbourne in to the ring post…
Rhino:Danny Danger is back up…
Mark:END OF DAYS!
Rhino:Danny Danger is out…
Mark:Doomsday covers Danny Danger 1………….2………..3……. ITS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner DOOMSDAY!
Rhino:Doomsday gets the victory here tonight…
Mark:Mr. Anderson though just sent a message to Dexter Fishbourne as he is standing over him on the outside of the ring…
Rhino:It looks to me that Mr. Anderson and Dexter Fishbourne are on a collision course for the EWA World Heavyweight Championship…
Mark:That’s what I think to… As we now get back to the ring for more action…
Non Title Match
Diamond Dallas Page vs Darren Knight
Pa Announer:This next contest is a Non Title Match set for one fall… Introducing first… From Birmingham, England… Weighing in at 240 Pounds… DARREN KNIGHT!
(“Machine Head” plays as Darren Knight enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From The Jersey Shore… Weighing in at 253 Pounds…The EWA Total Impact Champion… DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE!
(“Self High Five” plays as Diamond Dallas Page enters the arena…)
Mark:Well Darren Knight jumps DDP as he gets in to the ring…
Rhino:Darren Knight wants to go right on the attack…
Mark:Darren Knight whips Diamond Dallas Page off in to the ropes… Hip Toss!
Rhino:DDP gets right back up on to his feet…
Mark:Darren Knight charges… Enziguri Kick! Right to the back of the head…
Rhino:Darren Knight caught him good with that kick to the back of the head…
Mark:Darren Knight covers Diamond Dallas Page 1………………..2…………..Kickout by the EWA Total Impact Champion…
Rhino:Diamond Dallas Page is trying to shake off that kick to the back of the head…
Mark:Darren Knight with a couple of right hands to DDP backing him up in to the corner…
Rhino:Darren Knight is laying in the shots…
Mark:Darren Knight whips DDP off in to the farside corner…
Rhino:Here comes Darren Knight…
Mark:DDP charges… Darren Knight moves out of the way…
Rhino:Darren Knight crashes in to the corner hard…
Mark:Darren Knight staggers out of the corner backwards… DDP hooks him up… Russian Leg Sweep!
Rhino:DDP is getting back in to this match up…
Mark:Darren Knight gets back up on to his feet… DDP whips him off in to the ropes… Flap Jack!
Rhino:Darren Knight crashed hard right in to the canvas…
Mark:Darren Knight staggers to his feet…
Rhino:DDP is in position…
Mark:DIAMOND CUTTER!
Rhino:Darren Knight is out…
Mark:Diamond Dallas Page covers Darren Knight 1…………………2………….3…….. ITS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE!
Rhino:The EWA Total Impact Champion gets back on track this week with a win tonight here at Seasons Beatings…
Mark:We will be crowning a Number One Contender for the EWA Total Impact Championship later on tonight… Right now we are told the limo is circling the arena but has not pulled in to the parking lot yet…
Rhino:Who ever this is… Is making a really big entrance…
Mark:Hopefully we will know more soon… As we now get back to the ring for our next contest…
Non Title Match
Mr. Anderson vs Al Snow
Pa Announcer:This next contest is a Non Title Match set for one fall… Introducing first….From Lima, Ohio… Weighing in at 235 Pounds… AL SNOW!
(“What Does Everybody Want” plays as Al Snow enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent… From Green Bay, Wisconsin… Wieghing in at 243 Pounds…The EWA World Heavyweight Champion… MISTER ANDERSON!
(“Feedback” plays as Mr. Anderson enters the arena…)
Mark:We have already seen the EWA World Champion once today as he attacked who everyone assumes will be the Number One Contender Dexter Fishbourne earlier tonight…
Rhino:Mr. Anderson seems ready to go…
Mark:Mr. Anderson goes for a right hand… Al Snow blocks and already traps his arms…
Rhino:Mr. Anderson is trapped…
Mark:Trapping Headbutts! By Al Snow…
Rhino:Those headbutts are dazing Mr. Anderson…
Mark:Al Snow with an uppercut taking Mr. Anderson right off of his feet…
Rhino:Mr. Anderson is getting back up on to his feet in the corner…
Mark:Mr. Anderson is backing away… Al Snow comes in to the corner and pulls him out of the corner and nails him with a hip toss…
Rhino:Al Snow is coming out firing…
Mark:Mr. Anderson is now backing up in to the other corner… Al Snow walks in… Mr. Anderson grabs him by his tights and drives him shoulder first in to the turnbuckle…
Rhino:Mr. Anderson sucked him in right there…
Mark:Mr. Anderson is now stomping away at Al Snow in the corner right now…
Rhino:Hes really putting the boots to him…
Mark:Mr. Anderson whips Al Snow in to the farside corner…
Rhino:Al Snow is staggering out of the corner…
Mark:Mr. Anderson nails him with a back body drop!
Rhino:The EWA World Champion now waits for Al Snow to get back up on to his feet…
Mark:Mr. Anderson gets him up on to his shoulders… The Plunge!
Rhino:Al Snow driven right in to the mat…
Mark:Mr. Anderson is now heading up on to the top rope rope…
Rhino:Mr. Anderson is going to fly…
Mark:Kenton Bomb! No! Al Snow gets his knees up…
Rhino:Mr. Anderson went back first in to the knees of Al Snow…
Mark:Mr. Anderson staggers up on to his feet… Al Snow hooks him up..Belly to Belly Suplex!
Rhino:Al Snow with a nice suplex…
Mark:Al Snow covers Mr. Anderson 1……………..2………….3…No! Kickout by Mr. Anderson…
Rhino:Mr. Anderson is staggering to his feet…
Mark:Al Snow hooks to Mr. Anderson… Northern Lights Suplex! With a Bridge! 1…………………..2…………3……….NO!
Rhino:Mr. Anderson kicked out again…
Mark:Al Snow is really throwing everything he can at Mr. Anderson…
Rhino:The EWA World Champion is trying to get back up on to his feet…
Mark:Mr. Anderson is out on his feet right now…
Rhino:Is this going to be two straight loses for Mr. Anderson?
Mark:Al Snow hooks him up… SNOW PLOW! NO!
Rhino:Mr. Anderson escapes out of it…
Mark:Mr. Anderson shoves Al Snow in to the corner…
Rhino:Al Snow went head first in to the turnbuckle…
Mark:Al Snow spins around… Mr. Anderson hooks him up… MIC CHECK!
Rhino:Al Snow is out…
Mark:Mr. Anderson covers Al Snow 1……………………..2………….3…………. ITS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner MISTER ANDERSON!
Rhino:Mr. Anderson gets the victory and gets back on track as we head in to New Years Evil…
Mark:Mr. Anderson with a smirk on his face as he gears up for New Years Evil… Its time for our first Number One Contenders Match up of the evening…
Number One Contender Match for the EWA Womens Championship
Special Referee-Doug Kinsella
ODB vs Gina Carano
Pa Announcer:This next contest is the Number One Contenders Match for the EWA Womens Championship… Introducing first… The Special Referee…The EWA Womens Champion DOUG KINSELLA!
(“Open Your Eyes” plays as Doug Kinsella enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:Now introducing the participants… First… From Minneapolis, Minnesota… Weighing in at 130 Pounds… ODB!
(“I’m About to Freak” plays as ODB enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:Her opponent… From Las Vegas, Nevada… Weighing in 143 Pounds… GINA CARANO!
(Carano’s theme plays as she enters the arena…)
Mark:Doug Kinsella calls for the bell and this match up is under way…
Rhino:Both women are ready to go…
Mark:ODB and Gina Carano lock up in the center of the ring…
Rhino:Both women are battling for position…
Mark:Neither women is giving an inch right now…
Rhino:They are just two power houses pushing back and forth…
Mark:Gina Carano with a shot to the side of the head of ODB and is now backing her up in to the corner…
Rhino:Gina Carano is opening up on ODB in the corner…
Mark:ODB turns Gina Carano around and starts opening up on Gina Carano…
Rhino:Look at ODB go…
Mark:ODB whips Gina Carano off in to the farside corner…
Rhino:Gina Carano comes out of the corner…
Mark:ODB charges in… Spear!
Rhino:NIce spear ight there by ODB…
Mark:ODB covers Gina Carano as Doug Kinsella makes the count 1…………….2………..Kickout by Gina Carano…
Rhino:ODB is now waiting for Gina Carano to get back up on to her feet…
Mark:ODB scoops up Gina Carano… Running Powerslam! No! Gina Carano slides off the shoulder of ODB and shoves her in to the corner…
Rhino:ODB is staggering backwards…
Mark:Gina Carano hooks her up…German Suplex!
Rhino:ODB dropped right on her head…
Mark:Gina Carano covers ODB as Doug Kinsella makes the count 1…………..2……………..ODB kicks out…
Rhino:Gina Carano is pulling ODB back up on to her feet…
Mark:Gina Carano with a hammer lock in to a scoop slam… Gina Carano comes off the ropes… Leg Drop! Connects! Gina Carano covers ODB again as Doug Kinsella makes the count 1……………….2…………..3…No! ODB kicks out again…
Rhino:ODB is slow to get back up on to her feet…
Mark:Gina Carano hooks up ODB… Belly to Belly Suplex!
Rhino:ODB is in trouble…
Mark:Gina Carano hooks the leg 1…………………….2…………..3…………..NO! ODB kicks out…
Rhino:Gina Carano arguing with Doug Kinsella right now…
Mark:Gina Carano thought she had ODB down for the count right there…
Rhino:ODB is trying to get back up…
Mark:Gina Carano from behind… CARANO LOCK!
Rhino:ODB is trying to fight out of it…
Mark:Gina Carano is trying to get her legs wrapped around ODB…
Rhino:ODB is trying to fight out of it…
Mark:Stunner!
Rhino:That broke the hold…
Mark:Gina Carano is dazed from the Stunner…
Rhino:ODB spins Gina Carano around…
Mark:TKO!
Rhino:That could be it…
Mark:ODB covers Gina Carano as Doug Kinsella makes the count 1………………2……………3………….. ITS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner ODB!
Rhino:ODB with a huge debut victory and is now the Number One Contender for the EWA Womens Championship…
Mark:It will be Doug Kinsella and ODB one on one at New Years Evil for the gold…
Rhino:That should be an interesting match up to say the least…
Mark:Will Doug Kinsella hold on to the title? We will find out at New Years Evil…
(“Ho Ho Fucking Ho” plays in the arena…)
Rhino:Whats going on here?
Mark:Wait a minute…
Rhino:That Subway!
Mark:We havent seen Subway in a few months…
Rhino:Subway is coming to the ring and he has Mistletoe hanging from his head…
Mark:Both heads Rhino… Both heads…
Rhino:Oh I didn’t even see that…
Mark:ODB and Doug Kinsella are looking right at Subway as he enters the ring…
Rhino:Subway looks right at Doug Kinsella and gives him a little wink…
Mark:Doug Kinsella looks scared… Subway goes for Doug Kinsella and now turns and kisses ODB!
Rhino:Subway Claus plants one on ODB…
Mark:Look at that reaction…
Rhino:Subway enjoyed it…
Mark:He is now pointing down to the other Mistletoe…
Rhino:ODB looks at him…
Mark:ODB squeezes Subway’s Junk!
Rhino:She really put a grip on it…
Mark:ODB lets go and Subway has a grin on his face…
Rhino:Well that was interesting…
Mark:Well right now I am being told limo is now sitting in the parking lot and no one has gotten out of the limo as of yet…
Rhino:The suspense is killing me…
Mark:We hopefully will find out who is in the limo… As we right now…Get back to the ring for our next number one contenders match up of the evening…
Number One Contender Match for the EWA Total Impact Championship
Alexis Laree vs Andrew Starr
Pa Announcer:This next contest is the Number One Contenders Match for the EWA Total Impact Championship… Introducing first… From London, England… Weighing in at 265 Pounds… ANDREW STARR!
(“Pretender” plays as Andrew Starr enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent…From Richmond, Virigina… Weiging in at 124 Pounds… ALEXIS LAREE!
(“Fake It” plays as Alexis Laree enters the arena…)
Mark:Andrew Starr locks up with Alexis Laree…
Rhino:Andrew Starr is trying to back her up in to the corner…
Mark:Andrew Starr goes for a right hand… Alexis Laree ducks…Alexis Laree is now laying in a couple of shots to Andrew Starr…
Rhino:She is really laying in the shots…
Mark:Alexis Laree gets shoved out of the corner by Andrew Starr…
Rhino:Alexis Laree gets right back up…
Mark:Andrew Starr charges at her… Alexis Laree ducks… Backslide by Alexis Laree 1………………….2……………Kickout by Andrew Starr…
Rhino:Andrew Starr gets back up on to his feet…
Mark:Alexis Laree nails Andrew Starr with a dropkick!
Rhino:Nice dropkick by Alexis Laree…
Mark:Alexis Laree covers Andrew Starr again 1………………2…………….Kickout again by Andrew Starr…
Rhino:Andrew Starr is getting back up on to his feet in the corner…
Mark:Alexis Laree with a couple of shots and now hooks up Andrew Starr… Tornado DDT!
Rhino:Andrew Starr was planted by Alexis Laree…
Mark:Alexis Laree covers Andrew Starr 1……………….2…………3…….NO! Andrew Starr gets his shoulder up…
Rhino:Alexis Laree is taking it right to Andrew Starr…
Mark:Andrew Starr is now staggering back up on to his feet…
Rhino:Alexis Laree is lining him up…
Mark:CHICK KICK! NO! Andrew Starr spins her around… Reverse DDT!
Rhino:That just stopped Alexis Laree in her tracks…
Mark:Andrew Starr is now shaking off the attack…
Rhino:Alexis Laree is staggering up on to her feet…
Mark:Andrew Starr is hooking her up… LONDON CALLING! NO!
Rhino:Alexis Laree escapes…
Mark:Alexis Laree hooks up Andrew Starr… LAREE DDT! NO!
Rhino:Andrew Starr drove her back in to the corner…
Mark:Alexis Laree is staggering out of the corner… Andrew Starr hooks her up… LONDON CALLING!
Rhino:Alexis Laree is out…
Mark:Andrew Starr covers Alexis Laree 1……………….2…………3……. ITS OVER!
Pa Announcer:Here is your winner ANDREW STARR!
Rhino:Andrew Starr is now the Number One Contender for the EWA Total Impact Championship…
Mark:We are now…
(“I Don’t Wanna Stop” by Ozzy Osbourne plays over the loud speakers.)
Rhino Could it be?
Mark:You’ve got to be kidding.
(What would normally send the arenas into an uproar has instead left every last person in shock. A single strobe began to dance atop the rampway, just above the entrance. A few moments passed as the anticipation started to weigh on the crowd.)
Mark:Only one person in all of EWA’s history can get this sort of response from the crowd.
Rhino:What response?
Mark:Exactly.
(ure enough, this was no joke. Josh Stewart triumphantly marched out onto the rampway as the place nearly blew it’s roof off. Of course, there wasn’t any major chanting going on. Only a smattering as the former EWA superstar made his way down to the ring, a microphone resting in his hand. He jumped up onto the ring apron and worked his way through the ropes as the music died down. However, the reaction from the shocked audience continued.)
Stewie: Raleigh, I want all of you to bare witness to history being made, right here tonight. Ya see, I used to be a big deal around EWA. I was the talk of the town. The cream of the crop. The best of the best, if you will. But I’d leave. Yes, I’d walk away from the very place I had everything I ever wanted. Some of you probably thought I believed my career in EWA was expendable. That I could take a heaping shit in my hand and that I’d truly think that shit was worth more than all I had accomplished here. And to those of you who truly imagined Josh Stewart like that, I pity you.. Cuz, you see.. If that was any further away from the truth, you’d need quite a bit of frequent flyer miles to reach it.
(The crowd was a wee bit confused by his message, but their mixed reaction leaned more toward cheering now.)
Stewie: I just got tired of this business. Tired of dedicating my life to it. Hell, what life did I have to begin with? So, because of that one reason alone, I kept going away. I was missing out on living to make sure every one of you got your money’s worth. Some have called me selfish for that. But if you really think about this from both sides of the token, you’ll see that either side can look selfish, but at the end of the day, are they? NO.. They aren’t. I wanted time off to experience all the joys and pains life has to offer. And during my absence, I’m pretty happy to see that EWA still has a beating heart. Of course, I never doubted it. Not for a second.
(The cheering turned to those oh so nostalgic “Stewie!” chants as Josh grinned.)
Stewie: Anyway, let’s drop the small talk and move onto the matter at hand. See, a little birdie informed me the other day…that my EWA contract, though it might contain a dust bunny or three, was STILL in effect…so…what that means is..
(He was cut off by an overwhelming pop from the crowd.)
Stewie: So EWA…what do ya say? I’M BACK! Maybe this time, all you boys and gals sitting backstage, either picking your mouths up off the floor out of shock, or complaining and bitching about me coming back AGAIN..and STILL having a loyal fan base..well, maybe this time, you guys can experience Josh Stewart the way he was meant to be. Without all the bullshit circumstances of life. WWJD?!
Crowd:STEWIE! STEWIE! STEWIE!
(“I Don’t wanna stop” plays in the arena…)
Rhino:Josh Stewart is back and the crowd loves it…
Mark:Stewie is making his way to the back as we are now…
Rhino:Look out!
Mark:Doomsday just attacked Josh Stewart from behind on the stage…
Rhino:This grand return of Josh Stewart is being ruined by Doomsday…
Mark:Doomsday hooks up Josh Stewart… CHOKESLAM! Right on to the stage!
Rhino:Josh Stewart has been laid out by Doomsday…
Mark:Officials are trying to get Doomsday out of the arena right now…
Rhino:Doomsday makes an impact once again this time at the expense of Josh Stewart…
Mark:Its time for the Holiday Bowl in our Main Event…
Holiday Bowl 2010
Shawn Michaels vs Lone Jobber
Pa Announcer:Tonights Main Event is the Holiday Bowl… Introducing First… From San Antonio, Texas… Weighing in at 227 Pounds… Representing Degeneration X… The Heartbreak Kid SHAWN MICHAELS!
(“Boy Toy” plays as Shawn Michaels enters the arena…)
Pa Announcer:His opponent…From The Slaughter House now residing in the EWA Offices in Atlanta, Ga… Weighing in at 235 Pounds…The EWA Womens Champion…El Presidente LONE JOBBER!
(“Shut Your Mouth” plays as Lone Jobber enters the arena…)
Mark:Well here we go…
Rhino:This is really becoming an annual tradition…
Mark:Lone Jobber and Shawn Michaels renew their history here tonight at Seasons Beatings…
Rhino:It seems only fitting…
Mark:Everything is out at ringside including a Lone Jobber custom Christmas Tree with a Jewish Star sitting on top of the tree…
Rhino:Hes really went all out with the decorations…
Mark:Lone Jobber nails Shawn Michaels with a couple of right hands…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels is firing back with right hands…
Mark:They are trading shots back and forth… Shawn Michaels nails Lone Jobber now with a couple of knife edge chops across the chest…
Rhino:He is lighting up his chest like you do Hanukkah Candles…
Mark:Shawn Michaels whips Lone Jobber off in to the ropes… Back Body Drop!
Rhino:Lone Jobber gets right back up on to his feet…
Mark:Shawn Michaels charges in… Lone Jobber ducks and Shawn Michaels gets back dropped over the top rope and to the floor goes Shawn Michaels…
Rhino:Lone Jobber is going out after Shawn Michaels…
Mark:Lone Jobber grabs Shawn Michaels by the head and drives him head first in to the table…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels is spinning around…
Mark:Lone Jobber picks up a Kwanzaa Candle Stick Holder and nails Shawn Michaels right in the head…
Rhino:That was a hard shot right there…
Mark:Lone Jobber is now rolling Shawn Michaels back in to the ring…
Rhino:Lone Jobber is searching around ringside for something…
Mark:Lone Jobber grabs one of the boxes on the table…
Rhino:It looks like Lone Jobber is opening up one of his christmas gifts early…
Mark:Lone Jobber opens it up and its a Wii…
Rhino:Lone Jobber smirks at the Wii and is now heading back in to the ring…
Mark:Least no one had to wait out in the cold to get that Wii System…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels is getting back up on to his feet…
Mark:Lone Jobber charges with the Wii… Shawn Michaels ducks the shot and now grabs the Wii from Lone Jobber and nails him right in the head with the Wii!
Rhino:There went that Wii…
Mark:Shawn Michaels covers Lone Jobber 1………………..2………………Kickout by Lone Jobber…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels is now going to the outside of the ring…
Mark:What is Shawn Michaels looking for?
Rhino:I think he found it…
Mark:Shawn Michaels found himself a very large candy cane…
Rhino:Lone Jobber is trying to get back up…
Mark:Shawn Michaels is back in the ring with Candy Cane in hand and now cracks the Candy Cane over the head of Lone Jobber…
Rhino:That dazed Lone Jobber…
Mark:Shawn Michaels with one more shot to the head of Lone Jobber breaking the Candy Cane…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels just laid out Lone Jobber…
Mark:Shawn Michaels covers Lone Jobber 1…………………..2……………3…No! Lone Jobber gets his shoulder up…
Rhino:Close near fall right there…
Mark:Lone Jobber barely got his shoulder up right there…
Rhino:Lone Jobber is now slowly getting back up on to his feet…
Mark:Shawn Michaels scoops up Lone Jobber and slams him straight down to the canvas…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels rolls to the outside of the ring…
Mark:What is Shawn Michaels looking for now?
Rhino:Im not sure…
Mark:Shawn Michaels just picked up a bucket…
Rhino:Whats in the bucket?
Mark:Lone Jobber gets back up on to his feet…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels lines him up…
Mark:Bucket to the Head!
Rhino:Dreidels are flying everywhere!
Mark:Lone Jobber is down…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels is now heading up on to the top rope…
Mark:FLYING ELBOW DROP! CONNECTS!
Rhino:Big time elbow drop right there…
Mark:Shawn Michaels is now tuning up the band…
Rhino:Here comes some Sweet Chin Music…
Mark:The band is tuned… Lone Jobber is back up on to his feet…
Rhino:Here it comes…
Mark:SWEET CHIN MUSIC! NO! Lone Jobber ducks the kick… Shawn Michaels turns around… HERTIAGE!
Rhino:Lone Jobber plants Shawn Michaels with the Hertiage!
Mark:Lone Jobber covers Shawn Michaels 1…………………….2…………..3………..NO! Shawn Michaels gets his shoulder up…
Rhino:A very close near fall right there…
Mark:Lone Jobber is now waiting for Shawn Michaels to get back up on to his feet…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels is getting back up on to his feet slowly…
Mark:LOW CARD KICK!
Rhino:Lone Jobber got all of that kick…
Mark:Shawn Michaels looks to be out cold…
Rhino:Can Lone Jobber finally beat Shawn Michaels…
Mark:Lone Jobber goes for the cover 1………………………2………………
(Ding Ding Ding)
Rhino:What the hell?
Mark:Why did the bell sound?
Rhino:Im confused…
Mark:So is Lone Jobber…
Rhino:The referee has no idea what happened either…
Mark:I think we are about to get word from the PA Announcer…
Pa Announcer:By Ruling of the EWA Commissioner… This match up is a NO CONTEST!
Rhino:William McConnell just screwed Lone Jobber…
Mark:Lone Jobber had Shawn Michaels down for the count it looked like…
Rhino:Im shocked…
Mark:Lone Jobber is looking like he is going to explode…
Rhino:Lone Jobber is ripping apart the turnbuckles…
Mark:I think Lone Jobber is snapping right in front of our eyes…
Rhino:Lone Jobber just went outside of the ring and is picking up a chair…
Mark:Lone Jobber is just swinging the chair like a mad man…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels is getting back up on to his feet…
Mark:Lone Jobber goes in the ring and lays Shawn Michaels out with a Steel Chair!
Rhino:Lone Jobber has snapped!
Mark:Lone Jobber just screamed WILL I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!
Rhino:Lone Jobber is now heading to the back and is screaming Wills name…
Mark:Our cameras are staying with Lone Jobber right now…
Rhino:Lone Jobber is in search for The EWA Commissioner right now…
Mark:Our cameras are in the back with Lone Jobber right now…
Rhino:Lone Jobber is asking someone to point out where Will is…
Mark:Shawn Michaels is now backstage as well…
HBK:What the hell was that?
Jobber:Get out of my way Shawn…
Mark:Lone Jobber just shoved Shawn Michaels…
Rhino:Shawn Michaels and Lone Jobber are now brawling…
Mark:Look at them go at it now…
Rhino:Nothing was settled between these two in the ring…
Mark:EWA Officials are trying to break these two apart…
Rhino:Look who it is…
Mark:William McConnell looks over and smirks…
McConnell:Hell Yeah!
Rhino:I think Lone Jobber just saw William McConnell…
Jobber:WILL… FUCKING KILL YOU!
Rhino:Lone Jobber is going after William McConnell…
Mark:This is a three way brawl now…
Rhino:EWA Officials are trying to break these men apart…
Jobber:I am going to Fucking Kill You Will!
Mark:Lone Jobber wants to get at William McConnell badly right now…
Rhino:They all want to go…
Mark:We gotta go… What will happen next? We will see you at New Years Evil!
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