Showdown 2004
AL SNOW: I never thought we would make it! Welcome everybody! Welcome to the land of the rising sun! I’m Al Snow! It seems like an eternity, but I am here alongside Omega and we are set to call the action from here in Osaka as we get set for Showdown!
OMEGA: Man, I don’t even want to get into the shit that’s happened. Let’s just get this over, damn it. That means cut to Kitana right now, jackass.
KITANA BAKER: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the special guest referee….SID VICIOUS!
AL SNOW: Sid making an appearance? Here?
OMEGA: The man’s got bills to pay.
(“Who I Am” by WWE Productions plays throughout the Osaka Dome)
KITANA BAKER: Ladies and gentlemen, making her way to the ring being accompanied by Kevin Nash and representing Degeneration X, from Londonderry, New Hampshire, she is the self-professed ninth wonder of the world….CHYNA!
AL SNOW: Our first women’s match on the monthly card here and with the two competitors, it should not disappoint.
OMEGA: It SHOULD not but I got my suspicions.
AL SNOW: Kevin Nash accompanying Chyna to the ring. Think he’s gone back to the bodyguard bit?
OMEGA: Nothing like that. He hasn’t had shit to do.
(“Lovefurypassionenergy” by Boy Hits Car plays throughout the Osaka Dome)
KITANA BAKER: And introducing her opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Frankie Kazarian and representing The Network, from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, she is the self-professed “Extreme Diva”….LITA!
AL SNOW: Yes Chyna, word does get around. You got all your special things done and now, Lita’s taking them and taunting her right in her face about it.
OMEGA: Lita ain’t wastin’ time. She’s all up in Chyna’s grill right now. Either fight or start fuckin’ each other. Either way, I’ll be entertained.
AL SNOW: Oh man! They both slapped each other at the same time! They must’ve been thinking the same thing!
OMEGA: They both went down too.
AL SNOW: The lighter Lita gets up first and OOOOOHHHH!
OMEGA: Just realized how much you suck?
AL SNOW: Chyna caught Lita with a huge Yakuza Kick.
OMEGA: What the fuck you talkin’ about? It was a friggin’ Big Boot! A “I’ll just stick up my leg” Big Boot.
AL SNOW: Sorry! Either way, Lita went down hard.
OMEGA: A foot to the face has that kinda effect.
AL SNOW: Chyna picking Lita up to by the hair and sends her hard into the turnbuckle. Chyna lifts Lita up on the turnbuckle. If this is what I think it is, I believe that this is the first time that we’ll see a woman do a superplex here on the month.
OMEGA: Why you askin’ me? Do I look like one of those fuckin’ magic eight balls? All signs point to the magic stick with balls attached in my pants. Just watch the damn match.
AL SNOW: Chyna has Lita on the top turnbuckle. I can’t believe she’s gonna do it!
OMEGA: Believe it.
AL SNOW: Lita trying to fight back and doing a pretty….watch it. Watch it! OH NO! Both women fell off the top rope in separate directions landing hard on the floor surrounding the ring!
OMEGA: You remind me of a Third Fold.
AL SNOW: Sid starting the count. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20! Both women fail to answer the twenty count! Sid telling Kitana Baker what he’s decided.
OMEGA: This counting lesson is brought to you by Sid Vicious. Viciously teaching dumb fucks like Al Snow to count.
KITANA BAKER: I have just been informed that due to neither woman answering the ten count, Referee Sid Vicious has ruled this match a NO CONTEST!
AL SNOW: Sid having little choice in his ruling. Both Nash and Kazarian tending to Lita and Chyna as the all-too-familiar EMT’s come to treat the ladies.
OMEGA: Accidents happen.
AL SNOW: Do they? Well, this “accident” has Lita and Chyna both taking stretcher rides as we prepare for the first triple threat match we’ve had since January. This one once again features The Retro Playa as he faces the veteran Scott Hall and the newcomer known as “The Dark One.” You gotta wonder how Hall is gonna focus as he is now with Nash accompanying Chyna to an ambulance.
OMEGA: He’s a professional. Either deal with it or get dealt with.
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
THE RETRO PLAYA VS. SCOTT HALL VS. THE DARK ONE
BOTH PARTS WRITTEN BY DOUGOUTCREW@EMAILSERVICE.COM
ADDITIONS & EDITS MADE
Al Snow: With the women being set into the ambulances, let’s get down to the following Triple Threat Match…
Omega: Yeah. Fuckin’ Razor Jabrone takin’ on Retro Pussy and The Dark One…No need to make fun of that one ’cause it makes fun of itself…
Al Snow: Speaking of RETRO, I can’t wait for eWa Retro which is a look back at eWa history and the best moments…Carnage over the weekly card was one for the archives…
Omega: Stop the stupid pluggin’ so we can get back to the action…
Kitana Baker: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a Triple Threat Match! Your referee for this match will be TYLENE BUCK!
(“Play That Funky Music” by Wild Cherry plays throughout the Osaka Dome)
Kitana Baker: Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois…The Retro Playa!
AL SNOW: The Retro Playa has now made the CAPCOM persona of Vega a permanent part of his arsenal as he always wears the two-pronged claw from the original Street Fighter 2 and has even taken up Ninjitsu and Spanish bullfighting to become more like the vain creation from CAPCOM.
OMEGA: That’s the deal with obsession. You never see how much of a dumb ass you become.
(“Bad Boy” by WWE Productions plays as Scott Hall walks in to the arena…)
Kitana Baker: Introducing from Miami, Florida…weighing in at 288 pounds and representing Degeneration X as one-half of The Outsiders…Scott Hall…!
AL SNOW: Why is Hall coming down to his Razor Ramón music? Is he trying to say something?
OMEGA: He’s about to slice up two jackasses. Get it know?
AL SNOW: Hall looks ready to uncork.
OMEGA: Yeah. Uncork some champagne.
(“Down In The Dark” by Nirvana plays throughout the Osaka Dome)
Kitana Baker: And introducing last, making his EWA debut, from Salisbury Plain, England….The Dark One…
AL SNOW: Here comes the gothic Dark One making his debut in the EWA.
OMEGA: More “oogily boogily” crap.
AL SNOW: All three now in the ring.
Omega: The bell sounds as the match begins…three dumb bastards in one match with one decision. What an encounter this will be…
Snow: You nailed that on the head. We are going to witness some intense action as here we go…
Omega: What the hell you talkin’ about? A lock up in the center of the ring. Headlock take down by Dark One in the early going on Retro Pussy…I mean encounter as “watch ’em all fuck this up.”
Snow: Now Hall gets into the action hitting a few right hands as Dark got back up and Dark suffering now a double punch by both Hall and Retro…
Omega: Dark gettin his ass whipped and a kick to the nuts from Jabrone, taking out Pussy for a minute…
Snow: Hall sets Dark up. Nice Vertical Suplex…and just holding it there, letting the blood rush to his head…
Omega: Any time now, man…Finally dropped his ass…Cover…Buck in position…1…..2…
Snow: He gets the shoulder up, as well a Retro saving the day anyway, and Retro delivers wit a stiff elbow to the back of Hall…
Omega: Payback’s a bitch for Jabrone by Pussy, now Retro Pussy gettin’ set…Hall staggers and there’s nothin’ new there, Dark’s all spaghetti…Double clothesline…
Snow: But Dark ducked it, spins him around, DDT and what effect that had, shaking the ring and a quick cover with Buck in position…1…..2…
Omega: Shoulder wasn’t fully on the canvas, so Buck stops the count…What the fuck?
Snow: Hall has a stun-gun!
Omega: LIGHT UP DARK’S PUNK ASS…Damn…Dark sidesteps and there goes the gun…Hall gets the defensive side of a kick…Snap Suplex…Dark One is now in control of the match-up as of now, and Dark applies a sleeper hold to Hall now…
Snow: Well back on his feet is Retro, tries to break the hold with a snap elbow drop, misses Dark but lands on Hall, which still broke the hold…
Omega: Jabrone is crawlin’ in a little pain, trying to reach that stun-gun. What the hell is he doing with it anyway? Must’ve paid an early visit to the ring.
Snow: I don’t know about the gun, bad intentions I’m sure though as he tries again to go for Dark…Retro turns Hall around, kicks him, steals the gun…now Dark goes right after Retro, as he thought Retro has been trying to stun him, but the gun flies out of the ring, and Retro getting a stomping of a lifetime handed by Dark One…
Omega: Jabrone pullin’ a “lost my smile,” getting up, goes out of the ring and grabs a Steel Chair…
Snow: The great equalizer…
Omega: Jabrone has the Chair but Dark sees it…trips up his last call ass into a Camel Clutch…somebody call the Iron Shiek…
Snow: Retro staggers back up and begins to stomp on Dark one but Dark will not let go so Retro goes for the chair and fakes a chair shot at Dark to get him to break the hold…
Omega: Dark and Pussy now standing off in the ring as Jabrone’s holding his back and neck…
Snow: Trash talking…Dark One slaps Retro right across the face…
Omega: Pussy ain’t happy and who would be after a bitch slap…charges toward Dark, Pussy’s caught…DARK CALLING out of nowhere!!!!
Snow: He goes for the pin cover…1……2…..
Omega: NO…Jabrone just crawled over and got onto his knees JUST in time to break the pinning predicament…
Snow: What a match here at Showdown 2004…Osaka getting a full plate of EWA action….
Omega: Jabrone just barely breakin’ the pin and if you’re just joinin’ us after a snack run or takin’ a shit, this match heated up early, then 2 very close falls for Dark but close only counts for so much…
Snow: Hall steps up to his feet, grabs Retro…Low Blow!!
Omega: Jabrone pissy-fit lifts him in the air…OUTSIDER’S EDGE…
Snow: Retro is down, Dark is down, Hall is now down after planting the Crucifix Bomb and Hall leans the other way to cover Retro instead of Dark as Dark rolls to the outside…
Omega: Jabrone is grabbin’ the tights…quick counter roll-up by Jabrone…1…2…NO!! Jabrone got his shoulder up at TWO and NINE-TENTHS because I saw it like that…
Snow: Dark has that chair as Hall staggers up…Retro flies in the air and gets swatted…Now Hall gets a taste of chair!!
Omega: Right to the back of Jabrone and Dark tosses the chair aside and now grabs Pussy…Pussy reverses into a reverse Russian Leg Sweep…runs his ass up to the top rope and comes off with a decent swanton…no one does it better than me of course…
Snow: Hall has the gun, and stuns Retro, as he is out-cold sounding like a piece of Sizzlean…Dark inches to the corner, helps himself up with the ropes runs at Hall and gives him a Yakuza Kick to the face while Hall was trash-talking…Dark looks like he hurt his leg and goes down Hall and Retro have some time…Retro may need all the time he can buy because he is laid out…
Omega: Jabrone back to his feet and what in the hell? A double-choke lift toss on Dark One…He never does that, but now he does? Yes, you can learn new moves too just by watchin’ tapes!
Snow: Hall picks Dark One up and hooks him into the swinging neckbreaker. Dark groggy…Hall measures him…sets up Outsider’s…NO, reversed, into an attempted frankensteiner? Hall powering, and a flat-out Powerbomb…Hall pins Dark One…Tylene in position for the count…1…………..2………….DARK KICKED OUT!!! Hall tries to cover Retro…1…2…Dark One makes a save!
Omega: Jabrone just knocked Dark One’s ass out the ring with a discus punch…
Snow: WAIT….Retro Playa nips-up!!! Hall turns around…kick to the stomach…OUT WITH THE OLD into a small package!
Omega: You know all about small packages, don’t ya?
Al Snow: Tylene Buck in position! 1! 2! 3! It’s over!
Omega: Finally….
Kitana: Ladies and Gentlemen here is your winner…THE RETRO PLAYA!!!!
AL SNOW: The Retro Playa pulling a rabbit out his hat using a setup move into a pin to get the win. Unexpected, but it worked.
OMEGA: Last Call’s punk ass wonderin’ what happened. You got beat, bitch.
AL SNOW: Both The Dark One and Scott Hall have to walk back in defeat as we prepare for an unfair situation.
OMEGA: For who? Brian Clark or Brian Adams? Who’s gonna be first?
AL SNOW: I was talking about Purgatory.
OMEGA: You know nothin’ about firin’ up somebody, do you?
KITANA BAKER: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a Handicap Match. Your referee for this match will be LIZZIE BORDEN!
(“KroniK” by WCW Productions plays throughout the Osaka Dome)
KITANA BAKER: Introducing first, being led to the ring by Big Vito….Brian Adams….Brian Clark….They are KRONIK!
AL SNOW: Kronik being led to the ring by Big Vito and Purgatory was right. This could be three on one.
OMEGA: Does it matter? I don’t give a shit.
AL SNOW: Kronik entering the ring looking very confident since the odds are in their favor.
OMEGA: Yeah. Just keep thinkin’ that, fuckers.
(“Let’s Get This Party Started” by KoRn plays throughout the Osaka Dome but it’s cut short by “Simon Says” by The Wu-Tang Clan)
KITANA BAKER: And introducing their opponent….from Savage, Maryland….PURGATORY!
AL SNOW: Purgatory coming down wearing a pair of simple martial arts pants and a black belt. I’ve never seen him look this deadly.
OMEGA: I have. Kronik’s gonna feel it.
AL SNOW: Purgatory and his heavily scarred body slides into the ring. Looks like a one versus tag match. Lizzie calls for the bell. Brian Clark is going to start things off. Brain Clark slowly approaching Purgatory. Purgatory has his eyes closed. Is he nuts?
OMEGA: Just watch.
AL SNOW: HOLY CRAP! Purgatory just snap kicked Brian Clark right to the side of his head! Clark is out by just one shot!
OMEGA: Eyes still shut.
AL SNOW: Adams has no idea what to do. He’s going to try to rush Purgatory.
OMEGA: The move of a dumb ass.
AL SNOW: Purgatory sidesteps and Adams….just fell down in an unconscious heap? Did he even hit him?
OMEGA: Worse. He touched him.
AL SNOW: Touch?
OMEGA: Pressure point martial arts. He’s mixing several forms. Even I didn’t catch the subtlety of exactly what he did.
AL SNOW: Look at the look on Big Vito’s face. He’s dumbfounded.
OMEGA: It’s because no one here expected this. Expect the unexpected, damn it.
AL SNOW: Purgatory covers both members of Kronik. This can’t be over like this! Borden in position. 1! 2! 3! It’s over!
KITANA BAKER: Here is your winner….PURGATORY!
AL SNOW: Purgatory making quick work of both members of Kronik as Brian Adams snaps back awake. He has no idea of what happened.
OMEGA: And they’re better off. You don’t wanna know what hit ya and you don’t want it to hit ya again.
AL SNOW: Well, as Big Vito and Brian Adams help Brian Clark out here, it’s time for a tradition of Japan here. It’s an underground tradition, but one nonetheless.
OMEGA: And one we won’t call.
AL SNOW: What?
OMEGA: We leave now. Mark and Rhino are gonna call this.
AL SNOW: Um…..okay. Mark, Rhino, come on down.
EWA CHAMPIONSHIP JAPANESE DEATH MATCH
VERTIGO(C) VS. BERSERK
WRITTEN BY ROCKNSOCK5230@AOL.COM
ADDITIONS & EDITS MADE
Kitana Baker: The Following contest is a Japanese Death Match and is for the eWa Championship….your referee for this match will be APRIL HUNTER…
Mark: Some how we found away Rhino to call the Main Event of a Monthly Event…
Rhino: And its going to be one hell of a Main Event…
(“Berserk!” by Suicidal Tendencies plays throughout the Osaka Dome)
Kitana Baker: Introducing first, The Challenger…From Manhattan, IL…. Weighing in at 375 pounds… BERSERK!
Mark: This is the debut of Berserk here in the eWa…
Rhino: He seems like a very impressive individual…
Mark: There is a lot of exploding planks in the ring and around the ring… The ropes have been changed to barbed wire…
Rhino: I have a feeling we are going to see a lot of blood spilled here tonight…
(“Sober” by Tool plays throughout the Osaka Dome)
Kitana Baker: His opponent…From Atlanta, Ga… Weighing in at 175… Your eWa Champion…VERTIGO!
Mark: Here comes Mr. CEO himself.
Rhino: Always nice to see the former president of the EWA. Former because Omega’s in earshot and I ain’t stupid. Quick dart to the ring and Vertigo’s already up in the face of Berserk. April calls for the bell.
Mark: Vertigo is looking at Berserk as he is at a disadvantage in this match up…
Rhino: Yeah… Weight is in favor of Berserk…
Mark: Berserk goes after Vertigo… Vertigo uses his speed and moves out of the way…And nails Berserk with a couple of quick jabs…
Rhino: Vertigo needs to hit and run… Over and over again… That’s the key…
Mark: Berserk now goes back after Vertigo… Vertigo side steps Berserk and he drop toe holds Berserk on to the middle rope…
Rhino: Berserk took a face full of Barbed Wire…
Mark: Vertigo now charges and drops on to the back of Berserk hanging him on the barbed wire rope…
Rhino: Vertigo is using his speed at the moment…
Mark: Vertigo makes his way to the middle rope…Berserk turns around and Vertigo comes off the middle rope with a flying crossbody…
Rhino: Berserk catches the eWa Champion midair…
Mark: Powerslam on to the exploding planks…
Rhino: That’s going to send a shock to the system of the eWa Champion…
Mark: Vertigo is holding on to his back as he is making his way back to his feet…
Rhino: Berserk is lining up Vertigo…
Mark: Vertigo turns around and Berserk picks him up and drives him in to the mat with a vicious spinebuster…
Rhino: That was an impressive spinebuster…
Mark: Berserk covers the eWa Champion. April in position…1…………………………2………………… Vertigo kicks out…
Rhino: Berserk is now on the outside of the ring and is looking underneath the ring for something…
Mark: Look like Berserk is looking to do some damage…
Rhino: Vertigo is back up on his feet…
Mark: Senton over the top rope by Vertigo landing right on top of Berserk…
Rhino: That’s going to stop Berserk from looking underneath the ring for something…
Mark: Vertigo now stands on the apron… Berserk is back up on his feet… Flying Back Elbow from the apron…
Rhino: That caught Berserk square in the head…
Mark: Vertigo is now looking underneath for a weapon…
Rhino: I think he has found something…
Mark: It’s a baseball bat…
Rhino: But what is sticking out of the bat…
Mark: Looks like thumbtacks to me…
Rhino: You know, you are right…
Mark: Vertigo now rolls back in to the ring and is allowing Berserk to get back in the ring…
Rhino: That could be a big mistake…
Mark: Berserk rolls back in to the ring and Vertigo just hammers him right in the back with the thumbtack bat… Another shot to the back of Berserk’s head…
Rhino: The back of Berserk’s head has been cut open from the thumbtacks…
Mark: Vertigo now rolls Berserk over… And he is jamming the thumbtacks in to the forehead of Berserk…
Rhino: The eWa Champion is keeping the big man on his back and is busting him open…
Mark: Vertigo covers Berserk with April ready to count…1…………………………2………………………… Berserk gets his shoulder up…
Rhino: Vertigo is now dragging an exploding plank out from the corner…
Mark: Berserk gets back up to his feet… And Vertigo hooks up Berserk…Double Arm DDT on to the exploding plank…
Rhino: These explosions are having an effect on both men… Even though Berserk took the punishment…Both men felt the explosions…
Mark: Vertigo rolls the big man over and covers him again…April counts…1………………………………2……………………….. Berserk kicks out again…
Rhino: Berserk has lost a lot of blood thus far…
Mark: Vertigo is now climbing the top rope…
Rhino: The eWa Champion is going to fly…
Mark: Missile Drop-kick by Vertigo misses as Berserk brushed him aside…
Rhino: That move backfired for Vertigo…
Mark: Berserk’s chance is now to do some damage to the eWa Champion…
Rhino: Vertigo is now back up on his feet…
Mark: Berserk now scoops up Vertigo and puts him up on his shoulder… Running Powerslam on to another one of the exploding planks…
Rhino: Vertigo just took a lot of weight on to his midsection…
Mark: Berserk now lifts up the eWa Champion Vertigo in to a gorilla press… And he drops Vertigo face first on the top rope of barbed wire…
Rhino: The eWa Champion has been busted open…
Mark: Vertigo now staggers back up to his feet… Berserk scoops up Vertigo and drops him once again on to the top rope of barbed wire…
Rhino: Vertigo is now in a lot of trouble…
Mark: Berserk now grabs Vertigo by the head and is rubbing his head in to the barbed wire…
Rhino: Berserk is ripping at the skin of Vertigo’s head with the barbed wire…
Mark: Vertigo now collapses in the ring as Berserk goes for a cover with April near…1………………………………..2…………………………… Vertigo finds away to get his shoulder up…
Rhino: Both men have lost a tremendous amount of blood in this match up and they are battling and battling over the eWa Championship…
Mark: Berserk now brings a glass chair in to the ring…
Rhino: This is not going to be good for Vertigo…
Mark: Vertigo makes his way back up to his feet… Berserk swings…
Rhino: Vertigo ducked…
Mark: Berserk missed with the chair shot and turns around… Spin Kick to the chair by Vertigo knocking the chair back in to the face of Berserk…
Rhino: Vertigo stole a page out of Rob Van Dam’s play book…
Mark: Both men are down on the canvas right now…
Rhino: That took a lot out of Vertigo to pull of that move…
Mark: Vertigo and Berserk have lost a lot of blood… As they make their way back up on to their feet…
Rhino: Berserk’s face is like a crimson mask…
Mark: Berserk swings and nails Vertigo in the face with a right hand…
Rhino: Vertigo fires right back…
Mark: Berserk hammers Vertigo with a couple of more right hands and now hooks him up… Belly to Belly Suplex by the monster known as Berserk…
Rhino: Vertigo is staggering back up to his feet…
Mark: Berserk now scoops up and slams Vertigo straight down to the canvas…
Rhino: The big man is now heading up to the top rope…
Mark: High risk move coming up…
Rhino: This could back fire for Berserk…
Mark: Vertigo is back up and he drop-kicks the legs right out of Berserk…
Rhino: The high risk did back fire…
Mark: Vertigo is out of the ring now and is bringing something in to the ring…
Rhino: Thumbtacks…
Mark: Vertigo is dumping thumbtacks around the area by the turnbuckle…
Rhino: Vertigo is now setting up Berserk for the Fear Factor…
Mark: The question is… Can he do it…
Rhino: Vertigo has him up…
Mark: FEAR FACTOR! ON TO THE THUMBTACKS!
Rhino: What a move… And Berserk’s face is covered in thumbtacks…
Mark: Vertigo with a Fear Factor and…where’s he going? Vertigo just up and left the ring leaving Berserk in a mess of pain in the center of the ring.
Vertigo: Hey Berserk, I just remembered that I wanted to see something so if you wanna continue this, you’ll follow me. Come on April, I got a feeling he’s gonna follow us.
Mark: Both Vertigo and Referee April Hunter leaving the Osaka Dome apparently. Where are they going?
Rhino: Berserk still groggy but you can tell he heard Vertigo as he manages to get out of the ring.
Mark: More like roll out. You can see live on Hardcore Theater that a bloody Vertigo is making his way well into the parking lot here. April Hunter just a few steps behind Vertigo. Vertigo hops in that Mitsubishi Eclipse and takes off. Sorry Rob, rental place all outta American Cars.
Rhino: Sometimes, even the CEO can’t get it all.
Mark: Berserk slowly making his way to the back as cameras are still in the parking lot. Vertigo leaving the arena a few moments ago.
Rhino: We get to be part of history, Mark. This is the first Japanese Death Match to actually leave the ring.
Mark: Our cameras following Berserk as he makes his way to the parking lot.
Rhino: Looks like he’s headed for the Supra.
Mark: Berserk finally manages to get into that Toyota Supra and now, he takes off. We can only follow them so far. Luckily, Vertigo took a cameraman with him. If we could try to get that frequency up on Hardcore Theater.
Rhino: WHAT EXCITING ACTION!
Mark: No need to be sarcastic, Rhino. We’ve got technical problems here. I can hear the car but there’s no picture. Wait a minute. We’re getting something here. It’s blurry but I can make out Vertigo driving. I think that’s Referee April Hunter sitting in the passenger’s seat.
Rhino: FOCUS!
Mark: We’ve got a stable picture. It appears the Eclipse has stopped. The cameraman panning around to see….WHAT THE HELL?
Rhino: OSAKA CASTLE?
Mark: I don’t know if it’s the tourist bug or what but apparently, Vertigo has decided that this EWA Championship Match will end at Osaka Castle.
Rhino: I personally would’ve preferred White Castle.
Mark: I bet you would have. I don’t see Vertigo. April Hunter’s standing in front of the castle.
Rhino: Stop the panning. I’m getting dizzy.
Mark: The cameraman looking for the Toyota Supra that Berserk is in. There it is. Berserk pulling out and as soon as he gets out, we’re going to resume this match that has taken a turn to the weird.
Rhino: Berserk is out but still no Vertigo.
Mark: Berserk walking up to April to probably ask where Vertigo is. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? Was that a brick?
Rhino: I think so.
Mark: A brick came flying out of nowhere and so is Vertigo as he quickly slid over Berserk and nails a DDT!
Rhino: Vertigo just made Berserk into a human exclamation point!
Mark: Stunned by the flying brick to his head and out cold from the DDT, Vertigo’s now got Berserk by his legs. Now what? Is he gonna drag him inside Osaka Castle?
Rhino: I don’t think so. Looks like a Giant Swing.
Mark: Vertigo’s got Berserk in the Giant Swing and OH MAN! He let him go! Berserk went right into the tree!
Rhino: Berserk looked like one of those video game characters with rag doll physics when he hit the tree!
Mark: Vertigo with the cover. April in position. 1! 2! 3! Vertigo retains!
Kitana Baker(back at the Osaka Dome): Here is your winner and STILL eWa Champion VERTIGO!
Mark: Vertigo retains in another strange match from the monthly.
Rhino: I’m gonna go and get some Pork Fried Rice.
Mark: That’s Chinese, fool. I’m Mark and Rhino’s gone and for Al Snow and Omega we say see you next month for Halloween Hellraiser where the weekly and monthly collide! See ya!
THEY’VE BEEN APART FOR 10 MONTHS…
OLD FOES…
NEW RIVALRIES….
BUT NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER…
THE WEEKLY AND MONTHLY CARDS MEET JUST TO SAY ONE THING….
IT’S TIME TO RAISE SOME HELL!
THE EWA PRESENTS HALLOWEEN HELLRAISER
BE VERY AFRAID….
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